The Fruits Basket Chatroom Story
by CharlieBrownLover21
Summary: What do you get when you put all of the Sohma's on the Internet together? One totally crazy chatroom that ends up in a freaking insane story!
1. Chapter 1: MeanChick is Akito

A/N: This is a funny story that I have been working on for about two years. There are many more parts (Chapters) after this (43 and counting, I think...) so I hope you enjoy reading it because I enjoyed writing it. Keep in mind that this is a really crazy chatroom. One crazy thing is that you can interrupt another person as they are typing something. (Don't ask me where THAT came from. All I know is that it makes for a REALLY funny story) Oh, and I do not own any of the Fruits Basket characters...darn...ONE MORE THING! IF YOU HAVE NOT READ FRUITS BASKET BOOK 17 DO NOT (And I seriously mean it...) READ THIS STORY!! IT WILL RUIN THE SERIES FOR YOU! Thank you, and enjoy! ^_^

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Chapter One: Meanchick is Akito

--MeanChick logs on--

MeanChick- What a boring site...nobody is on here.

--BoyToy logs on--

BoyToy- Akito? What are you doing on the internet?

MeanChick- What...how do you know who I am? Could it be a stalker? (Gasp)

BoyToy- So it is you! No I'm not a stalker, it's me Kureno!

MeanChick- ...This conversation must end! What if someone else logs on and sees?

BoyToy- Sees what?

MeanChick- MY NAME!! NO ONE CAN KNOW THAT I'M A WOMAN!

BoyToy- Oh right!

--BoyToy logs off--

MeanChick- Idiot!

--MeanChick logs off--

THE NEXT DAY

--MeanChick logs on--

--BoyToy logs on--

Boytoy- So Aki-

MeanChick- Don't you dare!

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- Wow, there are actually people on here today! Hello!

MeanChick- Umm...hello.

BoyToy- ........Hi.

CheeseMan- Not a very lively bunch huh? LOL.

MeanChick- Ha...ha...ha.

BoyToy- Yeah.

CheeseMan- Okay, MeanChick, what kind of name is that? Are you really mean?

MeanChick- HA! HA! HA! How funny! Of course not! I'm as nice as can be! ^_^

CheeseMan- So...um...BoyToy...what a weird name...no offense though.

BoyToy- None taken! I could say the same about your name...CHEESEMAN.

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Yuki, I didn't know you were on the internet! What is up?

MeanChick- YUKI?

BoyToy- Oh jeez.

Onigiri- Oh Yuki, you made friends on the internet? Wow, that is great! ^_^

BoyToy- If your Yuki...

MeanChick- ...then that must mean...

Onigiri- Hello, I'm Yuki's friend Tohru!

MeanChick- YOU!

Onigiri- I'm sorry do I know you?

MeanChick- OF COURSE NOT!

CheeseMan- Okay,...that was weird.

BoyToy- Hahaha...Meanchick is a little...um...funny in the head this morning...yeah that's right, funny in the...um...head!

CheeseMan- In other words, Meanchick needs a check-up from the neck up?

MeanChick- EXCUSE ME?!

Onigiri- You're excused! ^_^

MeanChick- Why you-

BoyToy- Now, now.

--LuvPuppy logs on--

LuvPuppy- Hi everyone! Any single girls online? I'm only 16!

Onigiri- Yeah right, Shigure!

MeanChick- SHIT!

LuvPuppy- Oh my, everyone look, it's Ak-

BoyToy- AAAAAAAAAAH!

LuvPuppy- Oh, it's YOU!

BoyToy- Shut...up.

LuvPuppy- Oh, I get it...I see...(Evil grin)

MeanChick- LuvPuppy? How did you end up with a name like that?

CheeseMan- You two know each other?

MeanChick- NO!!! HOW COULD WE? I'VE NEVER BEEN ON THE INTERNET BEFORE IN MY WHOLE LIFE!

LuvPuppy- Check-up from the neck up? HA! HA! HA! HA! That is a GOOD one!

CheeseMan- I got it from Day of Reckoning 2.

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- I see the damn rat is online.

CheeseMan- Watch yourself, stupid Cat-san.

FishFan- I outta slit your throat!

CheeseMan- Bring it on!

Onigiri- Please stop fighting, Kyo!

FishFan- Hey Tohru! I dyed my hair black!

Luvpuppy- YOU WHAT?!

MeanChick- I CAN'T TAKE THIS!

BoyToy- Then don't take it! What is it? Some kind of medicine for your loonyness?

MeanChick- You...will...die.

FishFan- Is something wrong with them?

LuvPuppy- What ever it is...Meanchick...want me to fix it? (Sneer)

MeanChick- ACK!

BoyToy- Watch it.

CheeseMan- Are you sure you don't know each other? You seem awful close.

LuvPuppy- More than you know.

MeanChick- AAAAAAAAAH!!!! SHUT UP!

--MeanChick logs off--

BoyToy- Look what you did!

--BoyToy logs off--

LuvPuppy- Oh, how sad...I seemed to have scared them away.

CheeseMan- Good job Shigure.

FishFan- You know, Tohru, I didn't really dye my hair.

Onigiri- Thank goodness! ^_^

CheeseMan- Wouldn't have made much of a difference. He would still be ugly as hell.

FishFan- I'm gonna murder you! Watch your back!

LuvPuppy- My, my we are feisty today, aren't we?

FishFan- Shigure, don't you have some work to do?

LuvPuppy- Well, I-

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

ILOVEKYO- Hi everyone! Is um...oh never mind!

FishFan- So Tohru, do you want to go see a movie later?

Onigiri- That is so cool! I would love-

CheeseMan- No! Absolutely not, NO!

FishFan- Don't answer for her, stupid ass rat!

ILOVEKYO- Kyo, is that you? I LOVE YOU!

FishFan- Oh shit it's Kagura...Tohru I'll talk to you later!

Onigiri- Wait, but.

--FishFan logs off--

CheeseMan- Finally! ^_^

ILOVEKYO- NOOOOO!!! DON'T LEAVE ME KYO-KUN!!! I LOVE YOU!!! COME BACK!!! DON'T MAKE ME COME GET YOU!

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

CheeseMan- So Honda-san, it's just you and me.

LuvPuppy- Now that is just RUDE!

CheeseMan- Oh Shigure, I forgot you were still on!

LuvPuppy- Mm-hmm, you just wanted to be lovey dovey with Tohru...

CheeseMan- No...

Onigiri- Umm...

LuvPuppy- Yuki and Tohru, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

CheeseMan- Shigure!

LuvPuppy- First comes love, then comes marriage, then.

CheeseMan- SHIGURE!

LuvPuppy- ALRIGHT! I get it, I'll leave you two alone, bye!

CheeseMan- Finally, now what I was trying to say was-

LuvPuppy- SECRET LOVERS!!! ^_^

CheeseMan- That's it! I'm going to kill him!

LuvPuppy- Okay, for real now, bye!

--LuvPuppy logs off--

CheeseMan- Honda-san, there is something I need to tell you.

Onigiri- What is it Yuki?

CheeseMan- Okay, here it goes, I want to ki-

--MeanChick logs on--

--BoyToy logs on--

MeanChick- Is it safe now? Is he gone?

BoyToy- Yeah, he logged off.

CheeseMan- I'm never going to get to do this right!

Onigiri- It is okay Yuki, you can tell me. What is it?

MeanChick- (Sigh) I thought he would never leave!

BoyToy- Me neither!

CheeseMan- Okay, I don't care who hears I'm just going to say it.

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- Man, Kagura is so persistent!

CheeseMan- I WANT TO KISS YOU!

FishFan- YOU WANT TO WHAT?! KISS ME?! EWW! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I already have Kagura to deal with now YOU?! GET AWAY STUPID RAT, I DON'T LIKE YOU!

CheeseMan- AAAAAAAAAAAH!! GOD NO!

Onigiri- Kyo, I think he was talking to me.

FishFan- YOU WERE TALKING TO TOHRU!? THAT IS EVEN WORSE!! DON'T EVEN TRY TO MAKE A MOVE ON TOHRU! I'LL KILL YOU! WHAT ELSE DID HE SAY TO YOU?!

MeanChick- So, Yuki you finally admit to loving Tohru! You make me sick!

BoyToy- MEANCHICK!

MeanChick- Oh, right! I mean um, loony pills! I need my loony pills!

--RunningWithTheWind logs on--

RunningWithTheWind- Dang you people have been talking a lot.

MeanChick- That's all we need is another person to come on to this site!

CheeseMan- Isuzu? Is that you?

MeanChick- This isn't funny anymore.

RunningWithTheWind- Yuki? Oh, great! I picked the wrong chatroom!

FishFan- Tohru, tell me exactly what that damn Yuki said to you!

Runningwiththewind- Wow, everyone is on here today! Who is MeanChick, and BoyToy?

CheeseMan- Some loony bin, and some weirdo that Shigure knows.

FishFan- TOHRU! Tell me what the asshole said!

Onigiri- Well...

--BlackIsMyColor logs on--

--RunningWithTheWind logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- Yo.

FishFan- Yuki, you better stay away from Tohru!

BlackIsMyColor- Hello? Is anyone here?

CheeseMan- Hey Haru.

MeanChick- I feel sick.

BoyToy- Me too. That hotdog I ate didn't taste to good.

MeanChick- STOP TALKING TO ME!

BlackIsMyColor- Hey Meanchick, are you single? Cause ya know I am.

MeanChick- HUH?!

FishFan- Oh great! Haru went black!

BlackIsMyColor- Come on baby, what do ya say?

--MeanChick logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- Oh well, what about you Tohru? I know deep down inside you can't resist me.

CheeseMan and FishFan- WHAT?!

Onigiri- Uh...

BoyToy- I think I better go check on MeanChick...bye!

--BoyToy logs off--

FishFan- Good-bye Haru.

BlackIsMyColor- What?!

--BlackIsMyColor has been blocked from this conversation--

FishFan- Wait, why didn't I think of this before?

CheeseMan- HEY!

--CheeseMan has been blocked from this conversation--

FishFan- YES! Point for the cat!

Onigiri- Kyo, that was kind of mean...

FishFan- Tohru, there is something I have to tell you.

Onigiri- I'm listening. ^_^

--WhiteBaboon logs on--

WhiteBaboon- Kanna, this is Naraku, where is Kagura?

Onigiri and FishFan- Who are you?

WhiteBaboon- Oh, sorry wrong chatroom!

--WhiteBaboon logs off--

FishFan- So, anyway Tohru-

--LuvPuppy logs on--

LuvPuppy- I'M BACK!!! Did you miss me? ^_^

FishFan- I hate the internet.

Onigiri- Oh my! Look outside your window everyone! It is raining!

FishFan- And I hate the rain.

LuvPuppy- Wow, look at that lightning!

Onigiri- We should probably get off the internet.

FishFan- But Tohru...

--MeanChick logs on--

--BoyToy logs on--

MeanChick- Hey that lightning is pretty close!

LuvPuppy- Hello, my darling Aki

COMPUTER HAS SHUT DOWN

A/N: So? Did you like it? REVIEW ME! Blahahaha!


	2. Chapter 2: The Taking of Akito's Journal

A/N: Sigh...I do not own Fruits Basket...If only...

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Chapter Two: The Taking of Akito's Journal

THE NEXT DAY

--Fishfan logs on--

FishFan- Finally, my computer started working! Oh but it looks like I'm by myself.

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Hello Kyo-kun! ^_^

FishFan- Tohru! ^_^ Hey Tohru, I was wondering, would you like to go catch a movie with me? And maybe dinner too?

Onigiri- Kyo-kun, that is so sweet! I would love to go with you!

FishFan- So it's a date then?

Onigiri- Oh, um, yes, I suppose it is...

--MeanChick logs on--

--BoyToy logs on--

MeanChick- Why do you always log on right after I do?

BoyToy- I don't know...I guess it is fun to annoy you. ^_^

FishFan- And the nightmare begins.

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- You're going to die when I get a hold of you Kyo! I don't know where you are, but when I find you, you will DIE!

Onigiri- Yuki, stop okay lets just all be kind, and respectful-

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Ah, hello MeanChick, I found the most interesting journal yesterday.

MeanChick- So that's where my journal went! Don't you dare open it! Don't look at anything inside!

CheeseMan- Are you two absolutely positive you don't know each other?

Luvpuppy- Well...

--BlackIsMyColor logs on--

--RunningWithTheWind logs on--

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

--BubbleDragon logs on--

--LadyStripes logs on--

--Baaaaaadboy logs on--

--VineSwinger logs on--

--BunnyHop logs on--

--SnakeSkin logs on--

Luvpuppy- Oh my...

CheeseMan- Jeez!

FishFan- Oh dear god!

Onigiri- Wow.

MeanChick- My day is officially ruined.

BoyToy- (Sob) Mine too!

MeanChick- Quit copying me!

LadyStripes- Hello Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo!

FishFan, CheeseMan, and Onigiri- Hello, Kisa!

Baaaaaadboy- Kisa? Hatori? Ayame? Yuki? Kagura? Ritsu? Kyo? Shigure? Tohru? Rin? Momiji? Haru?

All- Yes?

ILOVEKYO- I'm bored. There are to many people on here!

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

Baaaaaadboy- Wow, that's almost all of us! If only Akito, and Kureno were here than that would be everyone!

Luvpuppy- HA! HA! ^_^

CheeseMan- What is so funny, Shigure?

Luvpuppy- OH NOTHING! I'm just reading this hilarious journal I found! ^_^

MeanChick- Grrrr.

Luvpuppy- It's so BORING! I think I will write something in the back.

MeanChick- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

FishFan- My god woman, what in the world are you doing on our website, and in our chatroom?

MeanChick- YOUR WEBSITE? YOUR CHATROOM? YOU'RE CRAZY!

Luvpuppy- She's gonna blow.

--BoyToy logs off--

MeanChick- YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SPECIAL! NO! I'M THE SPECIAL ONE! ME! ME! ME!

FishFan- You're right about that...Special ED.

MeanChick- I WILL KILL YOU ALL!

BunnyHop- Someone's angry.

RunningWithTheWind- Is Haru on here?

BlackIsMyColor- Yes! Is that you Isuzu?

--RunningWithTheWind logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- DAMMIT!

--BlackIsMyColor logs off--

BunnyHop- (Yawn) I gotta go, I'm tired.

--BunnyHop logs off--

CheeseMan- Back to the stupid cat.

FishFan- Watch what you say!

CheeseMan- Bye Kyo! ^_^

FishFan- Don't you dare!

--FishFan has been blocked from this conversation--

BubbleDragon- This chatroom is boring.

CheeseMan- Really? I'm having a great time.

BubbleDragon- I'm hungry, I think I will steal food out of Shigure's fridge.

--BubbleDragon logs off--

Luvpuppy- HEY! My food!

MeancCick- Kill.

SnakeSkin- Gure-san I love you! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Same here Aya! ^_^

SnakeSkin- Yuki, you are my heart! I LOVE YOU! ^_^

CheeseMan- Hell no.

SnakeSkin- MEANIE!

--SnakeSkin logs off--

LadyStripes- I want to go play with Hiro! Goodbye everyone! ^_^

--LadyStripes logs off--

--Baaaaaadboy logs off--

Onigiri- Yuki...Why would you block poor Kyo?

--Onigiri logs off--

CheeseMan- POOR KYO?!

--CheeseMan logs off--

Luvpuppy- Hi Ritsu! ^_^

--VineSwinger logs off--

Luvpuppy- Okay, I see how it is! You'll talk to me Akito, won't you?

MeanChick- You need to give my back me journal, and QUIT SAYING MY FREAKING NAME!

Luvpuppy- Oh, Akito's scary!

MeanChick- WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!

Luvpuppy- Hmm, lets see...Shigure is the most talented, handsome, smart, skilled...

MeanChick- What are you doing?

Luvpuppy- ...wonderful, amazing, sexy,...oh, nothing just fixing up your boring journal. I thought you should know what I was putting in it.

MeanChick- WHAT?! STOP IT!

Luvpuppy- Hmm, what is this? Last night Kureno kissed me...(RIP!)...don't need that page anymore.

MeanChick- DON'T RIP OUT PAGES IN MY JOURNAL! STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!

Luvpuppy- What is this? Shigure was so nice to me last night (Evil grin) Ooh, I like that page! ^_^

MeanChick- THAT'S IT! I'M COMING OVER THERE TO KICK YOUR ASS!

--MeanChick logs off--

Luvpuppy- Uh oh, better hide this somewhere.

--Luvpuppy logs off--

A/N: This chapter is one of my favorites. Please review! Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3: Online Battle of the Rat&Cat

A/N: I own everyone in Fruits Basket except for Shigure! Shigure belongs to ChipsAhoyPup, so you better not steal him! I kid, I kid. If I did own Fruits Basket, that is the way it would be so muahaha! Though I would miss Shigure...

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Chapter 3: Online Battle of the Rat & Cat

THE NEXT DAY

--RunningWithTheWind logs on--

RunningWithTheWind- Hmm, no one is online yet...

--Fishfan logs on--

Fishfan- DAMN THAT YUKI! DAMN THAT YUKI!

RunningWithTheWind- I see you're in a good mood today, Kyo.

Fishfan- Oh, Isuzu...is Yuki on here?

RunningWithTheWind- Nope, just me.

Fishfan- I'm going to go find him and KILL him!

RunningWithTheWind- Good luck with that.

--Fishfan logs off--

--Cheeseman logs on--

Cheeseman- Hello?

RunningWithTheWind- Yo.

Cheeseman- Hi Isuzu, I see Kyo was online.

RunningWithTheWind- Yep, he says he is going to find you and kill you.

Cheeseman- HA! I'd like to see him tryjasasasdfffffffrtrtrtrtrtqe6w3478;'m,j;'jk

RunningWithTheWind- What?

Cheeseman- aaaaaaaa64yhrfb3480-0

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- ISUZU! ^_^ What happened to Yuki?

RunningWithTheWind- I don't know...all of a sudden he started typing gibberish...

Cheeseman- Sorry, about that, Kyo tried to jump me from behind.

Onigiri- Where is he now?

Cheeseman- Knocked out. ^_^

Onigiri- YUKI!!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- When I was going to get some breakfast I saw Kyo sprawled across the floor...does anybody know why?

Cheeseman- Nope! ^_^

Luvpuppy- It was Yuki.

--Meanchick logs on--

--Boytoy logs on--

Meanchick- MY GOD WILL YOU STOP THAT KURENO!

Boytoy- Sorry...

Cheeseman and RunningWithTheWind- KURENO?!

Luvpuppy- Bwahaha.....

Meanchick- Oops...

--Meanchick logs off--

Boytoy- My, this is awkward...

Cheeseman- Wait, if you're Kureno...then who is Meanchick?

Boytoy-..............

--BlackIsMyColor logs on--

BlackIsMyColor- Isuzu, before you log off, I want to tell you that I love you and I miss you so much!

RunningWithTheWind- Haru, lets talk about this in a more private place.

BlackIsMyColor- Alright.

--BlackIsMyColor logs off--

--RunningWithTheWind logs off--

--Fishfan logs on--

Fishfan- YUKI YOU ASS!

Onigiri- Hello Kyo, are you okay?

Fishfan- Hello Tohru, yes I'm fine, no thanks to the damn rat!

Onigiri- Oh Kyo, guess what? Boytoy is really Kureno!

Fishfan- WHAT?!

Boytoy-.....................

--Boytoy logs off--

Fishfan- Tohru, I want to take you out to dinner again tomorrow.

Cheeseman- I'm sick of you Kyo, I'm blocking you again!

Fishfan- No way! Not before I block you!

--Cheeseman and Fishfan have been blocked from this conversation--

Onigiri- But...

Luvpuppy- This is FUN! ^_^

--BunnyHop logs on--

BunnyHop- Hi Tohru! ^_^

Onigiri- Hi Momiji! I missed you so much! How have you been?

BunnyHop- I've been great! Right now I'm at Tori-san's house and he is making me eggs for breakfast!

Onigiri- Wow, that sounds yummy!

BunnyHop- Oh, Tori-san wants me to get off his laptop! Bye Tohru! Bye Shigure! ^_^

Luvpuppy and Onigiri- Bye Momiji! ^_^

--BunnyHop logs off--

Onigiri- Shigure who is Meanchick?

Luvpuppy- Well...

--Meanchick logs on--

Meanchick- DON'T!!!

Luvpuppy- Wow, how did you do that?

Meanchick- I have my ways...

Onigiri- Can someone tell me who Meanchick is?

Meanchick- Mind your own business GIRLY!

Onigiri- GIRLY?! I'm not...that...girly...

Luvpuppy- Oh boy...

Meanchick- If you even try to but into my business again, I'll-

Luvpuppy- FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Meanchick- SHUT UP SHIGURE!!!!

Luvpuppy- Okay fine I'm going to go eat!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

Meanchick- I'm leaving! Stupid girl watch your back!

--Meanchick logs off--

Onigiri- WAIT! Oh, forget it. I'm going to go find Kyo!

--Onigiri logs off--

--Cheeseman logs on--

Cheeseman- I don't know how I did it, but I got back on! Hello? Hello? Awww......Just when I get back on everyone logs off!

--Cheeseman logs off--

--Fishfan logs on--

Fishfan- HA! Point for the cat, I got back on, HA! HA!

Fishfan-......Hello? Hello? Tohru? UGH!

--Fishfan logs off--

A/N: I cannot stress this enough...REVIEW ME!! Thankx a bunch! ^_^


	4. Chapter 4: Kagura Breaks Her Computer

A/N: I'm eating a bag of funyuns right now. They are REALLY good. Strangely, I don't like onions, but when comes to onion flavored chips...mmm...yummy... Am I weird? I think so... Oh yeah! Enjoy this next chapter!

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Chapter 4: Kagura Breaks Her Computer

2 HOURS LATER

--Meanchick logs on--

Meanchick- That was a close one. I almost blew my cover...

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Meanchick- Oh no...

Luvpuppy- Hey baby! ^_^

Meanchick- You need some help.

Luvpuppy- Speaking of help, I still have your journal, and I'm writing a story in it, and I need some help on writing more...do want to hear what I have so far?

Meanchick- No.

Luvpuppy- Okay, Once upon a time there was a hot chick named Akito...

Meanchick- STOP SAYING MY NAME!!!!!

Luvpuppy- Whatever. Anyway, that hot chick fell in love with a handsome young man named Shigure...

Meanchick- YOUNG?!

Luvpuppy- Awww, don't be so harsh...anyway, Akito said, "No, I love Kureno!" But then Kureno fell off a bridge into the ocean...

Meanchick- WHAT THE HELL?!

Luvpuppy- And no one went to Kureno's funeral, because he was so ugly...

--Boytoy logs on--

Boytoy- Since when am I having a funeral? I'm not dead!

Luvpuppy- Unfortunately.

Boytoy- HEY!

Luvpuppy- Now that Kureno is here the party is ruined!

Meanchick- PARTY?!

Boytoy- Be careful what you say about me Shigure...or else.

Luvpuppy- Ooh, I'm so scared! Chicken boy is on the attack!

Boytoy- I'M A ROOSTER!

Meanchick- You two are hopeless!

--Meanchick logs off--

Luvpuppy- Look what you did Kureno!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

Boytoy- WHAT I DID?!

--Boytoy logs off--

NEXT DAY

--Cheeseman logs on--

Cheeseman- I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me.

--Fishfan logs on--

Fishfan- That is cause nobody likes you!

Cheeseman- Watch it...

Fishfan- Okay, okay I'm sorry. Lets make a truce, no more blocking each other from the internet, deal?

Cheeseman- Fine, deal.

Fishfan- HA! LOSER!

--Cheeseman has been blocked from this conversation--

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- Kyo, Akito wishes for you to come by his office this afternoon.

Fishfan- Great, that's all I need today.

BubbleDragon- Hang in there, and just don't lose your temper and do something stupid!

Fishfan- Yeah, yeah whatever!

--BubbleDragon logs off--

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Hi Kyo! Where is Yuki?

Fishfan- Who cares?

Onigiri- No really.

Fishfan- I blocked him! ^_^

Onigiri- Why can't we all just talk nicely to each other?

Fishfan- BECAUSE YUKI IS AN ASS!

Onigiri- Kyo...

Fishfan- The only person I want to talk to is you...

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

ILOVEKYO- TOHRU HONDA WILL DIE!!!!!!

Fishfan- Kagura...oh no...

ILOVEKYO- I LOVE YOU KYO!! I WANT YOU!!! YOU CAN MAKE ME ALL YOURS!!! EVEN IF YOU CHEAT ON ME I WILL FORGIVE YOU!! MAAAAARY MEEEEE!!

Fishfan- I don't need this! Not today!

ILOVEKYO- But Kyo don't you love me? DON'T YOU?!

Fishfan- No I don't!

ILOVEKYO- WHAAAAAT?!!

--ILOVEKYO has been disconected from the internet--

Fishfan- YES! ^_^

Onigiri- Oh, Kyo your funny! LOL

Fishfan- I AM THE MAN! ^_^

Onigiri- Heehee! ^_^

Fishfan- Hey Tohru guess what? Yuki is sooooo stupid that he probably wohnbjkkgv

Fishfan- njhgfdsasdfgk124-0986e4hhelp[gstteuijn5 tj mnkjkwa'

Onigiri- What in the world?

Fishfan- Hi Tohru, it's Yuki.

Onigiri- Yuki, did you hurt Kyo?

Fishfan- No, I just shoved him off his computer. If he wants to keep blocking me then I will just come over and use his computer.

Onigiri- Oh...so Yuki what have you been up to? I've been cleaning all day, I've hardly had the chance to talk to you.

Fishfan- Well, earlier isfuqevbthr./df-890

Onigiri- (Sigh) Not again...

Fishfan- Take that Yuki! Hold on Tohru I want to kick him again!

Onigiri- Um...okay...

Fishfan- HA! Anyway, that damn rat thinks he is so smart wellhhhhhher0234534ghghZCZesztL]

Fishfan- Now I'm going to kill him! Stupid Cat-san is going down!

Onigiri- Yuki! Don't be too harsh...

Fishfan- Okay, he is gone now, this is Yuki.

Onigiri- Yuki please stop fighting with Kyo...I love both of you so much, you two are my best friends...

Fishfan- Anything for you Honda-san.

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Hi everyone, ooh Tohru and Kyo sitting in a tree! You are soooooo bad! I'm going to telllllllbsgazdhasaRI81WE5456&*

Luvpuppy- YUKI YOU'RE GOING DOWN!!!!!!

Fishfan- What is wrong with you Shigure?

Luvpuppy- THIS IS KYO! GET OFF MY COMPUTER!!

Fishfan- Fishfan is such a horrible username isn't Honda-san?

Onigiri- Please don't fight...

Fishfan- Good-bye Kyo, I don't want to fight with you, it makes Honda-san upset!

Luvpuppy- NOOOOO!!!!!!

--Luvpuppy has been blocked from this conversation--

Fishfan- HA! that'll show him!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- HA! SUCKER! Shigure has block protection!

Fishfan- Damn...

Luvpuppy- (Evil Grin) But my computer doesn't!

--Fishfan has been blocked from this conversation--

Onigiri- Kyo? Yuki? Who am I talking to?

Luvpuppy- It's Kyo. Tohru I hate it when that stupid rat boy hits on you.

Onigiri- Are you jealous of Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun?

Luvpuppy- NO OF COURSE NOT! Well, maybe a little...

Onigiri- Oh my, really?

Luvpuppy- Yeah...

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- Kyo, Shigure says to get off his computer.

Luvpuppy- Too bad! Yuki kicked me off my computer and now I'm kicking Shigure off his!

BubbleDragon- Shigure says that he has work to do on his computer.

Luvpuppy- YEAH RIGHT! He had logged on right before I took his computer. What is his work, talking to young girls on the internet?

BubbleDragon- He says that is exactly right.

Luvpuppy- SICK!

BubbleDragon- He says if you don't get off right this second, he will send Yuki in to come get you off.

Luvpuppy- HA! I'd like to see the old man try!

BubbleDragon- Yuki is coming your way, and he doesn't seem to be in a good mood.

Luvpuppy- Tohru, I'll see you later! Oh, and I'm still taking you out for dinner tonight.

Onigiri- Okay! ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

BubbleDragon- HA! What a loser! Cats really are stupid!

Onigiri- Hatori?

BubbleDragon- This is Yuki. Hatori went to lunch with Akito so his computer is free! I'm surprised I didn't think of this before!

Onigiri- I had no idea that it was you!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Thanks Yuki, Kyo would just not get off my computer! I owe you one!

BubbleDragon- ONE?! You owe me WAY more than that!

--YankeeThug logs on--

YankeeThug- What up?

Onigiri- ARISA-SAN! ^_^

YankeeThug- Hey, Tohru! What up?

Onigiri- Oh nothing! Yuki and Shigure are online too!

YankeeThug- Okay so which is which?

Onigiri- Yuki is BubbleDragon, and Shigure is Luvpuppy!

Yankee- BUBBLEDRAGON?

BubbleDragon- Uh, don't ask me...I'm on Hatori's computer.

YankeeThug- Uh huh.

BubbleDragon- I AM!

YankeeThug- So where is AngerManagement Boy?

BubbleDragon- Oh, you mean Kyo? Well he was suppose to go eat lunch with Akito and Hatori, but I guess he forgot. He is probably off somewhere being stupid.

YankeeThug- That makes so much sense.

Onigiri- Arisa, I have to go make dinner, you will tell Hanajima I said hello right?

YankeeThug- Of course I will!

BubbleDragon- Bye Honda-san! ^_^

Onigiri- Bye Yuki, bye Arisa! ^_^

--Onigiri logs off--

BubbleDragon- Oh shit! Hatori is here early! See ya Arisa!

YankeeThug- See ya.

--BubbleDragon logs off--

--YankeeThug logs off--

Luvpuppy- WAIT! What about me?

--Angel345 logs on--

Angel345- Hello! ^_^ Me name is Penny and I'm looking for a handsome young man to marry, who is 17, or 18.

Luvpuppy- Why hello there! I'm 18, it's your lucky day! ^_^

--Meanchick logs on--

Meanchick- Cut the crap Shigure! Sorry Angel345 but he is already taken, and FYI he is NOT 18!

Angel345- Awww, too bad. I was looking for somebody to share my millions of dollars with...oh well!

--Angel345 logs off--

Luvpuppy- WAIT! Don't listen to her she is CRAZY! I'm not taken, I'll share your money, and I'm 18! NOOOO!!!!!

Meanchick- PERVERT! That is exactly what you deserve!

--Meanchick logs off--

Luvpuppy- Bitch...

--Meanchick logs on--

Meanchick- WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Luvpuppy- Hehe...just kidding...

--Luvpuppy logs off--

Meanchick- Thought so!

--Meanchick logs off--

A/N: Tell me what you think. None of the characters in this story are mine. Only Angel345 is mine (So far. There are a few more made up characters in further chapters). And all of the usernames are mine too. 


	5. Chapter 5: Midnight Fling

A/N: Who loves Ritsu? I love Ritsu! But I don't own him...

---

Chapter 5: Midnight Fling

LATER THAT EVENING

--VineSwinger logs on--

VineSwinger- I'M SORRY!!!

VineSwinger- Oh wait, nobody is on here yet...

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- Hey Ritsu, where is Honda-san?

VineSwinger- Oh, Kyo took her out for dinner. Didn't she tell you?

CheeseMan- NO SHE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT! I can't believe she went out with Cat Boy!

VineSwinger- FORGIVE ME FOR GIVING YOU SUCH HORRIBLE NEWS! I'M SO SORRY YUKI!

CheeseMan- Ritsu, it really is okay, you don't have to be sorry.

VineSwinger- NO! DON'T TELL ME IT'S OKAY! I AM SO EVIL FOR GIVING YOU SUCH AWFUL, AWFUL NEWS! I COULD HAVE SAID NOTHING, AND YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE, BUT I OPENED MY BIG MOUTH, AND NOW BECAUSE OF ME YOU'RE DEVASTATED!

CheeseMan- I'm not that upset...

VineSwinger- YES YOU ARE! I APOLOGIZE! I'M SO, SO, SO, SO, SO...

CheeseMan- Ristu...

VineSwinger- ...SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO...

CheeseMan- RITSU!

VineSwinger- OH NO! I'M ANNOYING YOU AREN'T I? I AM! I AM! I'M SORRY YUKI FOR RUINING YOUR DAY! I SHALL PUNISH MYSELF FOR MY TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE, SINS!

--VineSwinger logs off--

CheeseMan- Ritsu? Jeez...

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Yuki, guess what? Did you know that Tohru went out with Kyo?

CheeseMan- YES SHIGURE! I KNOW!

Luvpuppy- Ooh! I bet you're SO jealous! Are you? Are you?

CheeseMan- ...........

Luvpuppy- YOU ARE! I'll bet you're so totally jealous, that when Tohru comes home you re going to have a present for her, and flowers, and if Kyo sees you, you two are going to get into a huge fight and-

CheeseMan- SHUT UP SHIGURE! YOU ARE WORSE THAN RITSU!

Luvpuppy- That...hurts...

CheeseMan- GOOD! TOHRU AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS SO GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS! I DON'T CARE IF SHE GOES OUT WITH THAT DAMN CAT!

--CheeseMan logs off--

Luvpuppy- He totally cares...

--BoyToy logs on--

BoyToy- Hello Shigure.

Luvpuppy- What do you want?

BoyToy- Oh nothing... ^_^

Luvpuppy- Why are you so happy?

BoyToy- I just wanted to say that I'm going out with "Meanchick" tonight.

Luvpuppy- ................

BoyToy- Yep. We are going out to dinner and then we are going back to her room...if you know what I mean...

Luvpuppy- I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

BoyToy- Uh, is it too late to say that I was just joking?

--BoyToy logs off--

EVEN LATER

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- HA! I beat Kureno up soooooo bad that he couldn't go on his little date with....Meanchick.

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- WHERE IS HONDA-SAN?! SHE HAS BEEN GONE FOR FIVE HOURS!!

Luvpuppy- Ah, so your princess is still not home yet, eh?

CheeseMan- SHUT UP!

Luvpuppy- Oh, Yuki don't worry she is probably still at her movie with Kyo.

CheeseMan- IT IS 1:30 am SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- Really? That late? Oh, well in that case, you might want to get the phone book and start calling every hotel in the area...

CheeseMan- RAAAAAAAAAH!! NO!

--CheeseMan logs off--

Luvpuppy- I think he's mad...

--MeanChick logs on--

MeanChick- GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

Luvpuppy- Awww, you know you want me!

MeanChick- IN YOUR DREAMS!

Luvpuppy- Yes you are in my dreams, how did you know?

MeanChick- Lucky guess...

Luvpuppy- Really?

MeanChick- I WAS BEING SARCASTIC!

Luvpuppy- Dang...

MeanChick- You're sick!

Luvpuppy- You're madly in love with me and you know it!

MeanChick- Whatever...

Luvpuppy- Hey, guess where I am?

MeanChick- Where? Let me guess...your hiding in my closet? No that would be stupid, where are you?

Luvpuppy- In your room.

MeanChick- What?

Luvpuppy- I'm in your room right now.

MeanChick- I have to get off the computaaakfhasjkgafasfj

THE NEXT DAY

--FishFan logs on--

--Onigiri logs on--

FishFan- What an awesome night!

Onigiri- Yeah, I had a fun night, but I liked it best when we-

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- So Honda-san, where were you last night?

Onigiri- Kyo-kun took me out to dinner and a movie. ^_^

CheeseMan- Oh really? Your movie lasted till 1:30 am?

Onigiri- Ummm........

Cheeseman- What else happened?

FishFan- YOU'RE SO JEALOUS! ^_^

CheeseMan- What is there to be jealous about? YOU? HA! You make me laugh!

FishFan- If you only knew...

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- SO, did YOU have a nice night Kyo? ^_^

CheeseMan- WHAT DID YOU DO TO HONDA-SAN?!

FishFan- What I did? You mean what WE did.

Luvpuppy- WAY TO GO KYO! YOU'RE THE MAN! ^_^

CheeseMan- WHAT?! YOU AND HONDA-SAN DID...DID...IT?!

FishFan- Hmm... "IT" can mean a lot of things...

CheeseMan- TELL ME NOW!

FishFan- Whatever Tohru did with me, she did it WILLINGLY!

Onigiri- Uh.....

Cheeseman- jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjn

Cheeseman- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasd5085,dc'fdjghdfjghsefjkaerui'''dqwdfqwuW312`=-\1`2014R55278GMN1F2JHN7FGH1J4RT1B2DTQE nakuuuuuckslujhuiyhuiyguygrfgvbmklnj372

Luvpuppy- I think he fainted...

Onigiri- Yuki, it wasn't like that, we were just, umm...he kissed me on the cheek, okay?

CheeseMan- WHAT?! HE KISSED YOUR CHEEK! OMG! OMG! OMG! HE CONTAMINATED YOU! NOOOOOOO! WASH YOUR FACE HONDA-SAN! WASH YOUR FACE BEFORE IT SPREADS!

Onigiri- Before what spreads?

CheeseMan- STUPID-CATSAN-ITIS! HURRY! DON'T LET IT INFECT YOU!

FishFan- I didn't just kiss her cheek, she was wearing strawberry lip gloss! I couldn't resist...

CheeseMan- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! NOT YOUR LIPS TOO! I'll...I'll...I'LL MURDER YOU KYO! SHIGURE BUY MOUTHWASH! BUY MOUTHWASH! KYO YOU WILL DIE!

FishFan- Go on kill me, I will die remembering the feeling of her lips on mine...and the taste...

CheeseMan- I WILL KILL YOU! YOU TOOK HONDA-SAN'S LIPGINITY! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU FILTHY SCUM! HONDA-SAN DIDN'T KNOW WHERE THOSE DISGUSTING LIPS OF YOURS WERE! YOU'RE CONTAMINATED! FILTHY! FILTHY! IMPURE! IMPURE!

Luvpuppy- Wait oh I get it LIPGINITY! HA! HA! Good one Yuki!

Onigiri- I hate in when you guys fight like this!

--Onigiri logs off--

CheeseMan- I don't know what I'll do but it is going to be something DRASTIC! I'm...I'm...I'M GOING TO TELL KAGURA!

Luvpuppy- Ooh...

FishFan- Whatever! You...wouldn't...

CheeseMan- I WOULD! I WILL! AND I'M GONNA!

--CheeseMan logs off--

FishFan- NOOOOOOOO!!!! DAMN THAT RAT! I have to get to Kagura before he does!!

--FishFan logs off--

Luvpuppy- Oh, boy Kyo is in trouble...

--MeanChick logs on--

MeanChick- HOW DARE YOU SNEAK INTO MY ROOM! YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH YESTERDAY!

Luvpuppy- Awww, was wittle Akito scaredy wairdy?

MeanChick- SHUT UP! AND FOR THE HUNDRETH TIME...STOP SAYING MY FREAKING NAME!

Luvpuppy- Hey MeanChick, Kyo and Tohru had their first kissy! ^_^

MeanChick- WHAT?! TOHRU AND KYO KISSED?! THIS HAS GONE TOO FAR! SHE IS TRYING TO TAKE KYO AWAY FROM ME! I'LL KILL HER!

Luvpuppy- Now, now calm down...

MeanChick- YOU SHUT UP! I'M GOING TO PUT A STOP TO THIS!

--MeanChick logs off--

Luvpuppy- Wow, what a day! Maybe I will stay on a little longer...

--VineSwinger logs on--

VineSwinger- I'M SORRY!

Luvpuppy- Gotta go!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

VineSwinger- I'm...sorry...

--VineSwinger logs off--

A/N: Thank you guys so much for all of my reviews so far. Please continue to tell me what you think, or even parts you like about my story. Right now I am going to watch t.v. I wonder what the world would be like with no electronics at all? *shudder* Nevermind...


	6. Chapter 6: Completely Naked?

A/N: Enjoy this next chapter! Props to Natsuki Takaya!

Chapter 6: Completely Naked?

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Ah, what a splendid day! The sun is shinning, the flowers are in bloom, and Kyo and Yuki are outside screaming at each other! (Sigh) How beautiful! ^_^

--VineSwinger logs on--

VineSwinger- I'm so sorry Shigure, did I scare you off yesterday?

Luvpuppy- Yes, you did. ^_^

VineSwinger- OMG I'M SO SORRY! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I WOULD DO SOMETHING SO TERRIBLY EVIL AS TO SCARE SOMEONE OFF THEIR COMPUTER!

Luvpuppy- No, no I'm just kidding Ritsu, you didn't scare me off yesterday.

VineSwinger- Oh, then why did you get off?

Luvpuppy- Because I don't like you. ^_^

VineSwinger- I'M SORRY I'M SO UNLIKEABLE!! I WILL FIX MY PERSONALITY RIGHT AWAY!

Luvpuppy- I kid, I kid. ^_^

VineSwinger- Really?

Luvpuppy- No. ^_^

VineSwinger- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! FORGIVE ME FOR RUINING YOUR LIFE! I WILL LEAVE BEFORE I DESTROY YOUR LIFE ANYMORE!

--VineSwinger logs off--

Luvpuppy- Wait! Oh, boy...this could be a problem...

--MeanChick logs on--

MeanChick- AAAAAH! It's YOU!

Luvpuppy- Hello Ak-

MeanChick- WILL YOU EVER SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE?!

Luvpuppy- Sorry...I forgot...

MeanChick- I REMIND YOU ALL THE TIME!

Luvpuppy- I STILL have your journal, my sweet. ^_^

MeanChick- YOUR SWEET?! You must be joking!

Luvpuppy- Nope! ^_^ Anyway, I read the page labeled "DO NOT READ"

MeanChick- (Gasp) WHY DO YOU THINK IT IS LABLED "DO NOT READ" NITWIT?!

Luvpuppy- I never knew you wrote things like that...

MeanChick- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! GIMME MY FUC-

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- STUPID CAT! STUPID CAT! STUPID CAT! STUPID CAT! STUPID CAT! STUPID CAT!

Luvpuppy- I take it that you're mad at Kyo?

CheeseMan- NAW YA THINK? HE KISSED HER! HE KISSED HONDA-SAN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! HOW DARE HE?! HOW! DARE! HE!

Luvpuppy- Someone needs to go see Dr. Phil...

MeanChick- .........

CheeseMan- WHO IN THE HELL IS DR. PHIL?!

Luvpuppy- Oh my! You don't know who Dr. Phil is? He is on T.V. every week day, at 3:00pm!

CheeseMan- SHIGURE...YOU'RE...NOT...HELPING!

Luvpuppy- Why don't you just get back at him?

CheeseMan- I'll have to...

Luvpuppy- But what could you possibly do? They are in love! ^_^

CheeseMan- NO! NO! NO! I WILL PROVE MY LOVE TO HONDA-SAN! THEN WE WILL SEE WHICH ONE OF US SHE LOVES!

--CheeseMan logs off--

Luvpuppy- Ooh I adore love triangles! ^_^

MeanChick- Uh huh.

Luvpuppy- Hey, I finished that story in your journal MeanChick.

MeanChick- Wow, really? You know what I was thinking?

Luvpuppy- What? ^_^

MeanChick- THAT IF YOU DO GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!!

Luvpuppy- Geez, who sprinkled grumpy in your cereal this morning?

MeanChick- I DIDN'T EAT BREAKFAST THIS MORNING!

Luvpuppy- That explains it! Tsk, tsk, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!

MeanChick- RAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Luvpuppy- Ooh, MeanChick is scary! ^_^

MeanChick- You're going to think scary when I get a hold of you!

Luvpuppy- You want to HOLD me? How...sexy...

MeanChick- ACK! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Luvpuppy- Hey I was thinking that maybe I could come over later-

MeanChick- NO! NO! Absolutely NOT!

Luvpuppy- You're just afraid that you won't be able to control your love for me! And then we'll end up-

--BoyToy logs on--

BoyToy- WATCH IT SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- Ooh, I'm so scared!

BoyToy- Good you should be!

Luvpuppy- It's called sarcasm chicken boy.

BoyToy- FOR THE LAST TIME I'M A ROOSTER!

Luvpuppy- Yeah, yeah whatever...

MeanChick- STOP! Quit fighting! Ugh, you two make me ill...

Luvpuppy- Hey Akito, what can I do for you that would make you happy?

MeanChick- Stay out of my sight!

Luvpuppy- Does that include coming over to your house later?

BoyToy and MeanChick- YES!

Luvpuppy- NO ONE ASKED YOU KURENO!

BoyToy- WELL-!

MeanChick- EVERYONE SHUT IT! So, Shigure what do you think Yuki will do?

Luvpuppy- Hmm...I really don't know...

BoyToy- That's not surprising, you never know anything doggie boy.

MeanChick- Kureno...

Luvpuppy- What did you say?

BoyToy- You heard me...or are you to dense to understand?

MeanChick- Hey-

Luvpuppy- I kicked your ass once Kureno, I can do it again!

BoyToy- Whatever.

MeanChick- Just a-

Luvpuppy- And you know what else?

MeanChick- Before you guys start-

BoyToy- Go on tell me! I'm just dying to hear what you have to say!

MeanChick- I have something to tell-

Luvpuppy- YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK OR I SWEAR-!

MeanChick- I'M COMPLETELY NAKED!

Luvpuppy and BoyToy- Huh?

MeanChick- Oh, THAT gets your attention!

Luvpuppy- Are you really...naked?

MeanChick- Yes Shigure. I'm butt ass naked, sitting in my room chatting on the computer. Even if someone comes in, I'm not going to put on ANY clothes. Screw clothes!

Luvpuppy- WOW! SERIOUSLY?!

MeanChick- OF COURSE NOT FOOL!

Luvpuppy- Awww...

MeanChick- SICK!

Luvpuppy- You know you like it...

MeanChick- UGH!

BoyToy- You disgust me Shigure!

--BoyToy logs off--

Luvpuppy- Now, back to that journal of yours...

MeanChick- STOP IT! GIVE IT BACK THIS INSTANT!

Luvpuppy- Why don't you come over to my house tonight and get it yourself? ^_^

MeanChick- Shigure, I'm not stupid. No way am I coming over to your house, and especially NOT at night!

Luvpuppy- Darn I thought I got you on that one. Oh well I guess I'll just have to keep reading...hmm...page 45 perhaps?

MeanChick- NO! NOT PAGE 45!

Luvpuppy- "Restless Nights" by Akito Sohma...

MeanChick- OKAY! Okay, I'll come over to your house to get it...just DON'T read it!

--MeanChick logs off--

Luvpuppy- Hehehe... ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

THE NEXT DAY

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- Lalalalalalalala...

--SnakeSkin logs on--

SnakeSkin- Oh, hello Tori-san! I see you've taken up singing! I shall join you! ^_^

BubbleDragon- That's not really necessary Ayame-

SnakeSkin- LALALALALALALALALALALA! Beautiful, is it not?

BubbleDragon- Astonishing.

SnakeSkin- YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I SAW YESTERDAY! Tohru-kun and Yuki-kun were together!

BubbleDragon- Oh, like on a date?

SnakeSkin- NOPE! Yuki came out of Tohru's room last night SHIRTLESS!

BubbleDragon- Shirtless? No kidding...

SnakeSkin- Yep! And you know what that means!

BubbleDragon- That could mean anything.

SnakeSkin- It was 2:45 am! The real question is what were they doing in there?

BubbleDragon- No, the real question is, what were you doing at Shigure's house so late?

SnakeSkin- Umm...the door was open?

BubbleDragon- Uh huh.

SnakeSkin- IT WAS!

BubbleDragon- Right...

--SnakeSkin logs off--

--BubbleDragon logs off--

NEXT DAY

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- I wonder where that damn rat was yesterday night...I didn't see him around anywhere...

--SnakeSkin logs on--

SnakeSkin- Oh Kyo, you won't believe where Yuki was last night! Ah, my little brother has grown up so much! ^_^

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- Ayame what are you doing?

SnakeSkin- Ah! There is my dear brother, who finally had his romantic fantasy with Tohru-kun! ^_^

FishFan- ROMANTIC WHAT?!

CheeseMan- What are you talking about Ayame?

SnakeSkin- Oh, silly brother, do not act like do you not remember! I saw you coming out of Tohru-kun's room last night...with your shirt off.

FishFan- WHAT?!

CheeseMan- .......

FishFan- Did you...Yuki and Tohru...what did...your shirt was off...really late...what...WHAT DID YOU DO TOHRU?!

CheeseMan- Whatever we did last night...we did WILLINGLY.

FishFan- I'LL KILL YOU!

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Hello Kyo-kun!

FishFan- Kill...kill...kill...Tohru?

Onigiri- Hey....Yuki...

CheeseMan- Hey...

FishFan- WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT! TELL ME OR THERE IS GOING TO BE HELL TO PAY! HELL I TELL YOU, HELL!

CheeseMan- Why don't you just go there Kyo, then everyone will be a lot happier! ^_^

Onigiri- Yuki...

FishFan- I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

CheeseMan- Good luck with that.

SnakeSkin- Oh goodness me, I better call Gure-san and tell him that there is a love triangle going on! Just a moment! ^_^

FishFan- YUKI!! PREPARE TO DIE! PRE. PARE. TO. DIE. DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT AS WELL?! DO I?!

Onigiri- Kyo-kun please...

CheeseMan- Honda-san do you want to go out for lunch to-

FishFan- NO! NO! NO!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- LOVE TRIANGLE! LOVE TRIANGLE! OOH BOY!

CheeseMan- Oh, great. Do you see what you started dumb ass cat?

FishFan- ME?! WHY I OUTTA!

Luvpuppy- JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! FIGHT! FIGHT!

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- Why does Ayame always call me?

SnakeSkin- Oh, Tori-san, It is only because I LOVE you! ^_^

BubbleDragon- ........

SnakeSkin- I LOVE YOU ALL! YOU ARE ALL MY FAMILY! ^_^

Onigiri- Ayame-san...(Touched)

CheeseMan and FishFan- NO!

Luvpuppy- I love you Aya! ^_^

SnakeSkin- Gure-san...(Touched)

CheeseMan and FishFan- STOP THAT!

FishFan- Now back to the perverted rat!

CheeseMan- Me? Perverted? Why don't you take a long look in the mirror Cat Boy! Oh, wait you're not allowed to use mirrors...YOU'LL BREAK THEM WITH YOUR BUTT UGLY FACE!

Luvpuppy- Kyo, do you want some ice...TO GO WITH THAT BURN?! ^_^

FishFan- SHUT UP SHIGURE! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YUKI WILL DIE!

Luvpuppy- Uh huh.

Onigiri- You want to go see a movie Kyo-kun?

CheeseMan and FishFan- HUH?

FishFan- (Evil Grin) Yes, Tohru I would LOVE to go to the movies WITH YOU.

CheeseMan- But Honda-san...

Onigiri- I'll talk to you later Yuki, I promise.

--FishFan logs off--

--Onigiri logs off--

Luvpuppy- Awww, she was trying to stop the fight. ^_^ That's our Tohru! ^_^

CheeseMan- DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! MOTHER F- ATHER, SISTER, DAUGHTER, BROTHER, AUNT, UNCLE, GRANDMA, GRANDPA, NIECE, NEPHEW, COUSIN!!!

--CheeseMan logs off--

Lupuppy- Whoa...

BubbleDragon- So immature.

--BubbleDragon logs off--

SnakeSkin- I'm going to eat lunch with Tori-san!

--SnakeSkin logs off--

Luvpuppy- What about me?

--MeanChick logs on--

MeanChick- DRAT! Why is it EVERYTIME I log on, YOU are always on?!

Luvpuppy- I guess it's fate.

MeanChick- Wha-?

--BoyToy logs on--

BoyToy- MeanChick where were you last night?

MeanChick- At Shigure's place getting back my RUINED journal!

Luvpuppy- Uh huh. She did more than just get her journal...we had a fun time last night didn't we MeanChick?

BoyToy- What?!

MeanChick- SHUT UP SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- Aww, MeanChick is just so shy...

BoyToy- .....

MeanChick- (Gasp) Are you angered with me Kureno?

Luvpuppy- Here we go.

BoyToy- No...

MeanChick- Yes you are! Do not be mad Kureno! Do you see what you've caused Shigure? I HATE YOU!

--MeanChick logs off--

--BoyToy logs off--

Luvpuppy- EVERYONE LEAVES ME!!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

--VineSwinger logs on--

VineSwinger- I'M SO SORRY! Oh, wait nobody's on here...I'm...sorry...

--VineSwinger logs off--

A/N: Again, thank you for all of your support. And for all of you who are wondering, yes there are many more chapters to come. Please review. 


	7. Chapter 7: A New Username for Akito

A/N: OMG CHAPTER SEVEN!! I do not own Furuba.

Chapter 7: New Username for Akito

--Akito logs on--

Akito- Ha! Now that I got another username I can log on as myself as well as another person!

Akito- Nobody is on here...

--Akito logs off--

THE NEXT DAY

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- I'M SINGLE!

Luvpuppy- Huh, that's strange. Girls should be asking me to go out with them left and right by now.......

Luvpuppy- I'M ONLY 18...AND I HAVE A JOB! AS A...DOCTOR!

--Hottie101 logs on--

--SweetHeart logs on--

--Smexymama logs on--

--I'msixteenandhot logs on--

--Babygirl logs on--

Luvpuppy- Haha...why hello ladies... ^_^

All- Hello! ^_^

Luvpuppy- So, what do such wonderful women, like you, want out of a man like me?

Babygirl- Wonderful? Teehee, but you don't even know us!

Luvpuppy- By your beautiful usernames, I can tell! ^_^

All- Oh, how sweet! ^_^

Smexymama- Wow, so what college do you go to?

Luvpuppy- Huh? College?

I'msixteenandhot- Well, you said you were 18.

Luvpuppy- Oh yes, of course! It is called, "The Love Of Beautiful Women University."

All- Teehee! ^_^

--Akito logs on--

Akito- Shigure you perv, sorry ladies for one he is not 18 he is twenty eight!

All- So, we like older men. ^_^

Luvpuppy- HA!

Akito- Oh and he is NOT a doctor!

--Hottie101 logs off--

--SweetHeart logs off--

--Smexymama logs off--

--I'msixteenandhot logs off--

--Babygirl logs off--

Luvpuppy- WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT?!

Akito- I don't know, I guess I like torturing you...JUST LIKE YOU DID WITH MY JOURNAL!

Luvpuppy- Have some pity!

Akito- YOU RIPPED OUT MORE THAN 20 PAGES! IT IS RUINED! RUINED I TELL YOU, RUINED! THOSE ARE PRECIOUS MEMORIES!

Luvpuppy- Whatever! I didn't ruin it. I FIXED it! It was BORING! And who cares what you and Kureno did, you didn't need those pages.

Akito- IF I DIDN'T WANT THEM I WOULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN IT IN THE JOURNAL!

Luvpuppy- No you don't understand, I really fixed it, read what I wrote on page 25.

Akito- (Sigh) Fine! Let s see...Hi Akito...THAT IS ALL YOU WROTE? HI AKITO? WHAT KIND OF CRAP IS THAT?!

Luvpuppy- Oops! Heehee...My bad, I meant page 24...

Akito- Okay...Akito I bought you an outfit...you did?

Luvpuppy- Yep! Look in your second drawer; I want you to wear it to my house later!

Akito- Hold on, let me go check...Shigure there isn't anything in my second drawer...

Luvpuppy- Exactly! ^_^

Akito- YOU ARE THE SICKEST HUMAN BEING TO EVER WALK THE EARTH!

Luvpuppy- You know you totally get turned on by that!

Akito- AS IF!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- He can't resist me! ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

THE NEXT DAY

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- I'm going to KILL that cat with my bare hands!

--FishFan logs on--

CheeseMan- Speak of the Devil.

FishFan- Ah, Tohru and I had a fabulous time the other night! ^_^

CheeseMan- SHUT YOUR MOUTH OR I'LL SHUT IT FOR YOU!

FishFan- You're SO jealous!

CheeseMan- AM NOT! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU AND HONDA-SAN DO!

FishFan- Oh, really?

CheeseMan- YEAH!

FishFan- Well then I guess you don't mind that I asked Tohru to MARRY me.

CheeseMan- gdddddddddddddchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhvukvukvukvukvukvukvukvukvukejwjsssssss

FishFan- I'm sorry, Yuki I can't understand you! I guess I'll go out with MY BRIDE TO BE. ^_^

CheeseMan- IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON THE TOP OF HONDA-SAN'S HEAD, I SWEAR BY SHIGURE'S PERVERTEDNESS I WILL KILL YOU IN COLD BLOOD!

FishFan- No need to worry CheeseMuncher, I'll be too busy kissing her to want to touch the top of her head!

CheeseMan- ACK!

FishFan- Bye, bye now! ^_^

--FishFan logs off--

CheeseMan- WAIT A SECOND!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

--CheeseMan logs off--

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- HI! ^_^

Luvpuppy- (Sniff) Everyone has gone...

--LadyStripes logs on--

--BaaaaaadBoy logs on--

BaaaaaadBoy- Yo, Shigure cook me some lunch!

Luvpuppy- Ha as if! Go ask Tohru because I'm not making you anything with an attitude like that!

BaaaaaadBoy- Whatever, you suck Shigure.

Luvpuppy- Yes, yes I know.

LadyStripes- Hiro, don't be so rude...

BaaaaaadBoy- Sorry Kisa, um...I gotta go check on something...

LadyStripes- Bye Hiro, see you later!

--BaaaaaadBoy logs off--

LadyStripes- Good-bye Sii-chan! ^_^

Luvpuppy- See you later Kisa! ^_^

--LadyStripes logs off--

--MeanChick logs on--

MeanChick- DAMMIT! Why are you always on when I am?

Luvpuppy- Huh, I dunno...I wonder why?

MeanChick- THAT IS WHAT I JUST ASKED YOU!

Luvpuppy- Oh, right...how am I supposed to know?

MeanChick- I despise you.

Luvpuppy- Sure you do...

MeanChick- I DO!

--MeanChick logs off--

Luvpuppy- Oh, my...

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- SHI-GUR-E!!!

Luvpuppy- I didn't do it!

CheeseMan- KYO KISSED HONDA-SAN RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!

Luvpuppy- Wow, really?

CheeseMan- HE HAS SOME NERVE!

Luvpuppy- Where did he kiss her?

CheeseMan- I'M GONNA MURDER HIM!

Luvpuppy- From the way you say it, I presume Kyo kissed our little Tohru-kun on the lips, yes?

CheeseMan- KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL! KILL!

Luvpuppy- Does that mean you're angry Yuki-kun? ^_^

CheeseMan- I HATE YOU SHIGURE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!

--CheeseMan logs off--

Luvpuppy- (Sigh) I JUST FREAKING LOVE THESE LOVE TRIANGLES! ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

A/N: Sigh. Sorry that one took so long to get out. I will try to be faster with number eight. Thank you to all of my readers! Please read and review. 


	8. Chapter 8: The Thanksgiving Nightmare

A/N: This happens to be another of my favorite chapters so please enjoy! I really wasn't sure if they celebrated Thanksgiving in Japan (like how we do) so sorry if they don't, but in this story they (For slow people like myself, I mean 'they' as in the Sohma's) celebrate our holidays. Why? Because I wanted to write it! LOL!! And just in case anyone forgot, 'That Woman' is what Akito uses to refer to her mother. (You ll need to know that for this chapter) Ooh yeah, and I told you this one would be updated faster than the last, so hahaha, I win! What is my prize?

(Looks around)

Huh...that did not turn out as I d hoped...

---

Chapter 8: The Thanksgiving Nightmare

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Today is Thanksgiving! Today is Thanksgiving! Hurray! Hurray! Today is Thanksgiving!

--Akito logs on--

Akito- Yes today is Thanksgiving, and you will all be coming to eat with me.

Luvpuppy- What? But then we will miss out on Tohru-kun's marvelous cooking skills!

Akito- Oh, so MY cooking skills aren't as marvelous as Tohru's?

Luvpuppy- Well...

Akito- YOU'RE COMING!

Luvpuppy- But...

Akito- ALL OF YOU ARE COMING! THE WHOLE FREAKING ZODIAC, JUST LIKE EVERY SINGLE YEAR! NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE FOR THAT STUPID LITTLE GIRL! SHE IS NOT SPECIAL, I AM! ME! ME! ME! YOU ALL BELONG TO ME, AND YOU'RE ALL COMING TO EAT WITH ME FOR THANKSGIVING!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- Well, I'm not going to miss-

--Akito logs on--

Akito- YOU'RE COMING YOU BUFFOON!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- Boo Hoo! Boo Hoo! I have to be with grumpy Akito for Thanksgiving! (Evil Grin) Or maybe not...

--FishFan logs on--

--CheeseMan logs on--

FishFan- Dammit Yuki, tell me what you and Tohru did! Ayame said-

CheeseMan- Do you really believe everything AYAME says?

FishFan- ...Well...no...but this is serious! Were you, or were you not in Tohru's room?!

CheeseMan- Heh...like I would tell you.

FishFan- DAMMIT YUKI, TELL ME!

CheeseMan- I still have to kick your ass for kissing Honda-san right in front of me, maybe after I do that, I'll tell you...maybe.

FishFan- Why I outta-!

Luvpuppy- HEY! You two both know that I love seeing you fight, but today is THANKSGIVING!

FishFan and CheeseMan- So?

Luvpuppy- SO?! THIS MEANS TODAY WE WILL STUFF OURSELVES WITH DELICIOUS FOOD! ^_^

CheeseMan- Today is just another day we have to take Akito's wrath...

Luvpuppy- It doesn't have to be...

FishFan- What are you talking about Shigure?

Luvpuppy- I mean this year I'm ditching on Akito. This year I want to eat what Tohru-kun cooks, and unless you're afraid, you'll do it too!

CheeseMan- Wow, that's a first. I thought you never betray Akito, I thought his word is LAW.

Luvpuppy- Well yes, but I want to eat Tohru's food, I'm sure it is a lot better than Akito's...

FishFan and CheeseMan- I'm in!

CheeseMan- STOP COPYING ME, STUPID CAT!

FishFan- I'M NOT COPYING YOU, YOU'RE COPYING ME!

FishFan and CheeseMan- WHATEVER YOU ARE SO COPYING ME!

FishFan and CheeseMan- QUIT IT!

FishFan and CheeseMan- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!

FishFan and CheeseMan- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

--FishFan and CheeseMan log off--

Luvpuppy- They are so kind towards each other! ^_^

--SnakeSkin logs on--

Luvpuppy- AAYA! HAPPY THANKSGIVING! ^_^

SnakeSkin- SAME TO YOU GURE-SAN! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Guess what?

SnakeSkin- What?

Luvpuppy- Yuki, Kyo, and I have decided to eat Thanksgiving with Tohru; do you want to join our evil plot?

SnakeSkin- Of course! Oh dear, Akito will be awfully angry... I'll go call Kureno, and Tori-san! Bye, bye now! ^_^

--SnakeSkin logs off--

--BunnyHop logs on--

Luvpuppy- Hey Momiji, want to eat with Tohru and the others for Thanksgiving?

BunnyHop- YEAH! I WANNA EAT WITH TOHRU! I WANNA TO EAT WITH TOHRU! I'll go tell Hiro and Kisa!

--BunnyHop logs off--

Luvpuppy- Wow, that was simple...

--RunningWithTheWind logs on--

Luvpuppy- Hey Rin, do you want to come over to my place to eat Thanksgiving dinner, instead of eating with Akito, EVERYONE'S coming!

RunningWithTheWind- All right, I'll go tell Haru.

Luvpuppy- HURRAY!

--RunningWithTheWind logs off--

--VineSwinger logs on--

VineSwinger- Happy Thanksgiving Shigure!

Luvpuppy- You too Ristu. Say, would you like to come to my place for Thanksgiving?

VineSwinger- Wow, really I'm so happy!

Luvpuppy- Yeah, yeah now go tell as many people as you can!

VineSwinger- I'M SO SORRY! I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT! FORGIVE ME SHIGURE!

--VineSwinger logs off--

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

ILOVEKYO- Happy Thanksgiving Sii-chan! ^_^

Luvpuppy- You too Kagura! ^_^ Hey would you like to come eat Thanksgiving dinner with everyone at my place?

ILOVEKYO- I would but...won't Akito be upset?

Luvpuppy- I'll give you the seat next to Kyo.

ILOVEKYO- I AM TOTALLY COMING!

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

Luvpuppy- HA! I am the man!

--BaaaaaadBoy logs on--

--LadyStripes logs on--

BaaaaaadBoy- I don't like Tohru! I'm not coming!

LadyStripes- Come on, Hiro...

BaaaaaadBoy- NO! I REFUSE!

Luvpuppy- Well, you'll be missing out. There will be turkey, gravy, biscuits, corn, peas...

BaaaaaadBoy- Shigure, I don't care...

Luvpuppy- ...cranberry sauce, dressing, fruit salad, mashed potatoes, and pie!

BaaaaaadBoy- Pie? What kind of pie?

Luvpuppy- Uh...apple?

BaaaaaadBoy- I HATE APPLE PIE!

Luvpuppy- No, no, I meant pumpkin pie, and you can sit next to Kisa.

BaaaaaadBoy- Hmm...

LadyStripes- Please Hiro...for me?

BaaaaaadBoy- Oh, alright!

--BaaaaaadBoy logs off--

LadyStripes- Yay! I'll see you later Sii-chan! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Bye Kisa! ^_^

--LadyStripes logs off--

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Hello Shigure! Happy Thanksgiving! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Happy Thanksgiving Tohru! Oh, a list of more food you need to make is in the kitchen. It looks like we are going to have a full house tonight!

Onigiri- Oh, well then I better go get started! See you later Shigure! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Oh, wait Tohru! There is one more thing!

Onigiri- Yes? ^_^

Luvpuppy- For heaven's sake, don't forget the pumpkin pie!

Onigiri- Uh, okay...

--Onigiri logs off--

Luvpuppy- Ah, today is going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving! ^_^

THE NEXT DAY

Luvpuppy- Ah, yesterday was great! Kyo and Yuki fell right to sleep after the meal so they didn't even fight! Although, you could tell that they wanted to.

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- So was my cooking okay?

Luvpuppy- OKAY?! Are you kidding? Your cooking was perfect!

Onigiri- Oh, well...

--SnakeSkin logs on--

SnakeSkin- Tohru-kun, your Thanksgiving dinner was fabulous! ^_^

Onigiri- Thank you, but...

SnakeSkin- It was simply divine! ^_^

Onigiri- Well, I tried my best.

--CheeseMan logs on--

--FishFan logs on--

CheeseMan- Honda-san your food was delicious! ^_^

FishFan- I've never tasted anything like it! It was wonderful! ^_^

Luvpuppy and SnakeSkin- Young love... ^_^

FishFan- Will you cook for us every Thanksgiving?

CheeseMan- Please?

Onigiri- Well, if you liked it that much I could...

--RunningWithTheWind logs on--

RunningWithTheWind- I don't like you or anything, but I have to admit your food was pretty good...

Onigiri- Rin, thank you! ^_^

RunningWithTheWind- Yeah, yeah...

--BlackIsMyColor logs on--

BlackIsMyColor- Tohru, your food was great.

Onigiri- Thank you Haru. ^_^

--VineSwinger logs on--

VineSwinger- I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT COMPLIMENTING YOU ON YOUR AMAZING FOOD YESTERDAY TOHRU, BECAUSE IT WAS THE BEST FOOD EVER, SO I'M SORRY!

Onigiri- That is okay Ritsu, you don't have-

--BaaaaaadBoy logs on--

--LadyStripes logs on--

LadyStripes- Onii-chan I loved your food! ^_^

Onigiri- Thank you Kisa, you are all too kind! ^_^

LadyStripes- Hiro, aren't you going to compliment Onii-chan's wonderful cooking skills?

BaaaaaadBoy- It wasn't THAT great...

Luvpuppy- Hiro I wouldn't-

FishFan- YOU SAY HER FOOD WAS GOOD NOW, YOU LITTLE PUNK!

CheeseMan- TELL HER IT WAS THE MOST DELICIOUS THING YOU HAVE EVER EATEN!

BaaaaaadBoy- NEVER!

FishFan- WHY I OUTTA-!

BaaaaaadBoy- Fine, fine the pumpkin pie was good...I guess...

FishFan- YOU GUESS?! HER FOOD TASTES LIKE HEAVEN!

CheeseMan- COMPLIMENT HER RIGHT HIRO!

Onigiri- It's okay really, I don't...

FishFan- DO IT TWERP!

BaaaaaadBoy- FINE! It was good food! You happy now? Jeez!

CheeseMan- SAY IT NICER!

BaaaaaadBoy- It was the most EXQUISITE food on the face of the Earth. I will never taste anything as incredibly delicious as long as I live!

Luvpuppy- WOW!

FishFan and CheeseMan- THAT'S BETTER!

Onigiri- Oh, my... (Blush)

--BubbleDragon logs on--

--BunnyHop logs on--

--BoyToy logs on--

BunnyHop- I LOVED YOUR FOOD TOHRU-KUN! IT WAS THE BESTEST FOOD EVER! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Bestest?

BoyToy- Tohru thank you for the wonderful meal.

Onigiri- Your welcome! ^_^

Luvpuppy- I would've eaten more, but somebody ruined my appetite by coming...KURENO!

BoyToy- HEY!

BubbleDragon- Now, now children, let us not fight. Anyways, Tohru your food was very good.

Onigiri- Thank you Hatori, I'm glad you enjoyed it! ^_^

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

ILOVEKYO- HER FOOD WASN'T THAT GOOD!

FishFan- Kagura, you have horrible taste buds, her food is DELICIOUS!

ILOVEKYO- WHAT DID YOU SAY?! KYO YOU ARE SO CRUEL! SO CRUEL! CRUEL! CRUEL! CRUEL!

--Akito logs on--

Akito- SHI-GUR-E!!

Luvpuppy- Uh, oh...

Akito- WHY WAS NOBODY AT MY THANKSGIVING DINNER LAST NIGHT?

All- Well.  
Akito- HOW COULD YOU ALL JUST DITCH OUT ON THANKSGIVING? YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU ALL WILL BE SEVERLY PUNISHED FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE RIGHT? DO YOU? DO YOU?

Luvpuppy- Come on Akito, it couldn't have been THAT bad!

Akito- OH REALLY?! YOU THINK SO? I HAD TO TRY TO EAT 50 POUNDS OF TURKEY WITH...WITH...THAT WOMAN! SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAME TO THE DINNER! SHE...SHE...SHE THREW GRAVY AT ME! GRAVY! HOT BOILING GRAVY!

Luvpuppy- Aww, what's a little gravy?

Akito- IT WAS STILL IN THE PITCHER! THE PITCHER HIT ME! I HAVE A LUMP THE SIZE OF A FIST ON MY HEAD!

Luvpuppy- Oh dear...

Akito- IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE A SECOND HEAD!

Luvpuppy- That could be a problem...

Akito- THEN YOU KNOW WHAT THE BITCH DID THEN? DO YOU?

Luvpuppy- No...

Akito- I'LL TELL YOU! SHE THREW THE MASHED POTATOES AT ME!

Luvpuppy- So there was a food fight?

Akito- AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE...THE DAMN MASHED POTATOES WERE STILL IN THE BOWL WHEN SHE THREW THEM AT ME! AND GUESS WHERE THE MASHED POTATOES HIT ME? GO ON GUESS!

Luvpuppy- Your head...?

Akito- WRONG! THEY HIT MY FOOT! THE MASHED POTATOES HIT MY FOOT AND BROKE IT! AND SINCE HATORI WASN'T ANYWHERE TO BE FOUND, I HAD TO GO TO SEE A DOCTOR WHO WAS AS STUPID AS HELL! AND GUESS WHAT ELSE SHIGURE?!

Luvpuppy- I'm afraid to ask...

Akito- I HAVE TO BE ON CRUTCHES FOR 3 WEEKS! I HATE THEM! I HAVE ALREADY FALLEN DOWN 4 TIMES, AND SINCE NOBODY WAS HERE WITH ME, I HAD NOBODY TO HELP ME OFF THE FLOOR! DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE LAYING ON THE FLOOR HELPLESS WITH NO ONE THERE TO ASSIST YOU? DO YOU SHIGURE?

Luvpuppy- Pretty lousy, I guess...

Akito- WRONG AGAIN! IT IS A LIVING HELL I TELL YOU! A LIVING HELL! H-E-L-L!

Luvpuppy- I don't know what to say...

Akito- OF COURSE NOT! WHENEVER YOU DO SOMETHING WRONG YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT TO SAY! BUT GUESS WHAT? THAT ISN'T THE END OF IT! WHEN I WAS LYING HELPLESS ON THE FLOOR, GUESS WHAT REN TRIED TO DO NEXT?

Luvpuppy- There's more?

Akito- OF COURSE THERE IS MORE! SHE TRIED TO SMOTHER ME WITH THE DRESSING!

Luvpuppy- What did you do?

Akito- I BIT HER! WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?!

Luvpuppy- Akito, may I ask how all of this started?

Akito- She asked for the salt, so I gave it to her.

Luvpuppy- You threw it, didn't you?

Akito- DAMN STRAIGHT! SHE WAS AT THE OTHER END OF THE TABLE, I WASN'T GOING TO GET UP JUST FOR HER, SHE ISN'T SPECIAL, I'M THE SPECIAL ONE!

Luvpuppy- What happened when you threw the salt?

Akito- It hit her of course! My aim is perfect!

Luvpuppy- So basically, you started the fight?

Akito- WHAT?! YOU'RE BLAMING THIS ON ME?! IT WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED IF YOU HAD COME TO THE DINNER! THIS IS YOUR FAULT SHIGURE! IT IS ALL SHKDRFHHLIE

Luvpuppy- Oh, dear I think he fell...

Akito- fvu tfytygty iopk,

Onigiri- I hope he is okay...

Akito- THAT WAS THE FIFTH TIME! I HATE THESE DAMN CRUTCHES! I HATE THEM! I'M GOING TO BURN THESE THINGS! THEY ARE USELESS!

Luvpuppy- Akito are you okay?

Akito- YES SHIGURE! I AM PERFECTLY FINE! MY LIFE COULD NEVER BE BETTER! MY FOOT IS BROKEN, THERE IS A LUMP ON MY FOREHEAD, THAT WOMAN TRIED TO SMOTHER ME WITH THE VERY DRESSING I MADE, AND MY WHOLE ZODIAC DITCHED ME! SO YES, IF YOU CALL THAT OKAY, THEN I AM WONDERFUL!

Luvpuppy- Glad to hear it! ^_^

Akito- WHY YOU! I'M GOING TO MURDE F,ASDJFGIQe7r,sdoet

Luvpuppy- He fell again? Wow, those crutches must really be worthless...

Akito- djkdjkdjkdjkdjkdjkfouy

Onigiri- Maybe someone should go and help him...

Akito- THAT IS THE LAST STRAW!

Luvpuppy- What did you do now? Fall?

Akito- NO! I STUBBED MY TOE ON MY DESK, AND THEN I FELL!

Luvpuppy- On behalf of all of the members of the zodiac, and Tohru, I apologize.

Akito- OH, SO YOU WENT TO EAT TOHRU'S FOOD AFTER ALL? OOH YOU LITTLE TRAITORS! NOT ONLY DID YOU DITCH ME, KURENO YOU DIDN'T EVEN COME HOME! YOU LEFT ME ALONE WITH MY DISABILITY!

BoyToy- Well after the meal, we kind of fell asleep...

Akito- YOU WILL ALL PAY FOR THIS! ONCE I GET OFF THESE CRUTCHES YOU WILL ALL FEEL MY WRATH!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- Oh dear...I think he is upset with us...

Onigiri- I never wanted the head of the family to be mad at me...what should we do Shigure?

Luvpuppy- Perhaps we should make him a "Get Well Soon" card...?

BoyToy- HA! Like that would help any! I should probably go back and check on him...

Luvpuppy- See ya never!

--BoyToy logs off--

LadyStripes- Hiro and I should go apologize...

BaaaaaadBoy- Yeah...

--LadyStripes logs off--

--BaaaaaadBoy logs off--

RunningWithTheWind- Whatever, I'm not going to say sorry!

--RunningWithTheWind logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- I don't know what I'm going to do...maybe I WILL send him a card...

--BlackIsMyColor logs off--

BubbleDragon- I should probably go check on Akito's foot...and his head...

--BubbleDragon logs off--

Luvpuppy- NO! WHY IS EVERYONE LEAVING?! STAY ON THE INTERNET!

Onigiri- AAAAAAAH! Oh no, Yuki, Kyo, WE HAVE SCHOOL TODAY!

--Onigiri logs off--

CheeseMan- DAMMIT! TODAY'S THE TEST!

--CheeseMan logs off--

FishFan- I really don't care about school but, Tohru's going so...

--FishFan logs off--

--VineSwinger logs off--

BunnyHop- I'm not saying sorry because I had fun! Bye Shigure! ^_^

--BunnyHop logs off--

Luvpuppy- Aaya? Are you still on?

SnakeSkin- Sorry Gure-san but I have much to do at the shop!

--SnakeSkin logs off--

ILOVEKYO- I need to get Kyo-kun out of the fiendish cluches of Tohru Honda!

Luvpuppy- What are you talking about Kagura?

ILOVEKYO- Well, isn't it obvious? He likes her!

Luvpuppy- Yeah, I mean they already kissed...

ILOVEKYO- WHAT?! AGAIN?! IF KYO DOESN'T STOP CHEATING ON ME, THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GOING TO TAKE A TURN FOR THE WORST!

Luvpuppy- Cheating on you...?

ILOVEKYO- Ooh, he is going to pay for this! I'm going to teach that little Tohru a lesson for messing with my man!

Luvpuppy- Your man...?

ILOVEKYO- Thank you for taking my side in this Sii-chan! I'll make sure that Kyo knows that I have you on my side! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Wait what?!

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

Luvpuppy- Oh dear...

--Luvpuppy logs off--

A/N: School the day after Thanksgiving. That kind of sucks doesn't it? Well, hope you liked it so R&R. Thanks a bazillion! (Bazillion???) 


	9. Chapter 9: BE HAPPY!

A/N: Okay so this is where the actual story line starts. From this point on, there will not only be chat room talking, but an actual story. You see, there were just some things that I had to put in to this fanfic that I couldn't express well enough to just put in chat room scenes. Now, don't get all upset, there will be plenty of chat room scenes to come, just be ready for something new. And trust me, it's worth it. Thank you to all of my readers, and enjoy! (If you're slow like I am, just keep reading and you'll get it) And I guess I have to say that I do not own Fruits Basket. Darn. And I so badly wanted Haru...

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Chapter 9: BE HAPPY!

THE NEXT DAY

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Why am I always the first one on the internet! Why can't other people get on too? LAZY BUMS!

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- We have a problem.

Luvpuppy- Oh what is it now?! What could it possibly be?

BubbleDragon- Akito is refusing to use his crutches, in fact last night he threw one at me...

Luvpuppy- Haha! Did he hit you?

BubbleDragon- No...

Luvpuppy- Uh-huh.

BubbleDragon- Maybe...sort of...yeah it hit me...

Luvpuppy- Ooh, he must have been in a really bad mood!

BubbleDragon- HA! You think what he did to me was bad? I can only pray for Kureno...

Luvpuppy- OOH! WHAT DID AKITO DO TO KURENO?! TELL ME! TELL ME! I REALLY WANT TO KNOW!

BubbleDragon- Akito knocked him out...with his laptop...and he has a concussion...

Luvpuppy- IS HE IN A COMA?!

BubbleDragon- No.

Luvpuppy- MEMORY LOSS?!

BubbleDragon- No.

Luvpuppy- SLURRED SPEACH?!

BubbleDragon- No.

Luvpuppy- IS HIS FACE MESSED UP?

BubbleDragon- No.

Luvpuppy- DOES HE HAVE A LUMP ON HIS HEAD?!

BubbleDragon- No.

Luvpuppy- DAMMIT!

BubbleDragon- There, there...

Luvpuppy- One more question, is Akito being nice to him?

BubbleDragon- No, not really.

Luvpuppy- HURRAY! ^_^

BubbleDragon- You are so immature Shigure.

Luvpuppy- So what are you going to do about the "crutches" problem?

BubbleDragon- Well, we have decided to give him a wheelchair.

Luvpuppy- How long do you think that will last?

BubbleDragon- Dunno, but I'll keep you posted.

Luvpuppy- Okay.

BubbleDragon- I have to go, Ayame has been calling me nonstop today, and I have work to do, not to mention Akito's problems.

Luvpuppy- See you later.

--BubbleDragon logs off--

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- SHI-GU-RE! WHAT DID YOU TELL KAGURA?!

Luvpuppy- I told her nothing!

FishFan- LIES! THEY'RE ALL LIES! KAGURA BEAT ME UP YESTERDAY CAUSE SHE SAID THAT YOU TOLD HER TOHRU AND I KISSED!

Luvpuppy- Well, that MIGHT HAVE slipped out...

FishFan- AND SHE SAID THAT I WAS HER BOYFRIEND, AND THAT I WAS CHEATING ON HER WITH TOHRU, AND SHE SAID THAT YOU AGREED WITH HER!

Luvpuppy- I didn't agree with her, I barely got a word in!

FishFan- SHE WANTED TO FIGHT TOHRU!

Luvpuppy- A CAT FIGHT? AND I MISSED IT? Damn, my day is NOT going well!

FishFan- ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS YOURSELF SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- THAT IS NOT TRUE! I think about all of the pretty young women I meet...

FishFan- ARGH!! I HATE YOU

--FishFan logs off--

Luvpuppy- Loser...

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- I LOVE YOU SHIGURE! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Whoa man, I don't think-

CheeseMan- I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Yuki you're scaring me...

CheeseMan- HONDA-SAN IS MAD AT KYO, AND IT IS ALL BECAUSE YOU TOOK KAGURA'S SIDE! SO I LOVE YOU! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Yuki please stop...

CheeseMan- Yeah, yeah alright, anyways Honda-san isn't speaking to Kyo, it is wonderful I tell you! Just grand! Oh, and Kyo is just so miserable, which makes my day ever so wonderful! ^_^

Luvpuppy- You enjoy his pain don't you?

CheeseMan- Yup! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Silly Yuki...

CheeseMan- Well gotta go Kyo looks angry again! ^_^

--CheeseMan logs off--

Luvpuppy- Okay...

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- More problems.

Luvpuppy- Is wittle Akito complaining?

BubbleDragon- Yup, he doesn't like the wheelchair.

Luvpuppy- WHAT A WHINER! You give him a wheelchair so he doesn't have to be on crutches, and what does he do? COMPLAIN!

BubbleDragon- Oh jeez, hold on.

Luvpuppy- Hmm...I wonder what happened...

BubbleDragon- Sorry Akito was trying to get out of his wheelchair.

Luvpuppy- Oh my...

BubbleDragon- Yeah I think he-

--Akito logs on--

Akito- HA-TOR-I!

Luvpuppy- Here we go...

BubbleDragon- Yes?

Akito- I HATE THIS WHEELCHAIR!

BubbleDragon- Why? Isn't it better then crutches?

Akito- NO! I HAVE TO USE MY ARMS LIKE CRAZY! THEY HURT! SCREW THIS CHAIR! GET ME SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

BubbleDragon- We'll see.

Akito- NOT "WE'LL SEE." GET ME SOMETHING WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO MOVE MY ARMS SO MUCH! MY ARMS HURT! I PULLED A MUSCLE JUST COMING OVER TO THE COMPUTER! GET ME ICE OR I'M GONNA DIE FROM THE PAIN!

BubbleDragon- Ugh...Okay Shigure hold on...

Luvpuppy- So Akito did you-

Akito- DON'T SPEAK TO ME!

Luvpuppy- But I-

Akito- SHUT UP, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

Luvpuppy- Can I just-

Akito- NO!

BubbleDragon- There Akito are you happy with your ice now?

Akito- IT IS TOO COLD! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PUT THIS ON MY ARM?

Luvpuppy- Akito, it is ICE it is supposed to be cold.

Akito- SHUT THE HELL UP! NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU!

Luvpuppy- (Sniff) I'm hurt...

BubbleDragon- Akito, just put it on your arm, trust me it will help.

Akito- OKAY FINE!

Luvpuppy- Hey Akito, is your laptop okay?

Akito- What?

Luvpuppy- Is your laptop okay? You know how Kureno hit his huge head on it? Is it okay?

Akito- Kureno? OH YEAH! No my laptop broke; Hatori had to buy me a new one.

Luvpuppy- Bwahaha...

Akito- WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? IF YOU WERE THE ONE IN MY ROOM YOU WOULD HAVE GOT HIT AS WELL!

Luvpuppy- Still holding a grudge?

Akito- DAMN RIGHT!

Luvpuppy- Might as well keep my distance...

Akito- GLAD TO HEAR IT! Hatori?

BubbleDragon- Yeah?

Akito- My ice is melting...

Luvpuppy- So? First you said it was too cold. If it is melting then it should be getting warmer.

Akito- I NEED MORE ICE AND I NEED IT NOW!

BubbleDragon- Akito...

Akito- MY ARM HURTS! MY ARM HURTS! OH THE PAIN!

BubbleDragon- Okay, okay I'll go get some ice...

Luvpuppy- Hey Akito you want to know something funny?

Akito- No.

Luvpuppy- I have your journal again.

Akito- WHY YOU LITTLE SNOB!

Luvpuppy- And you know what's even funnier?

Akito- I'M GONNA-!

Luvpuppy- Is that you can't do anything to stop me!

Akito- (Evil grin) Oh, really?

Luvpuppy- Yup! And I think I will finish reading the story you wrote on page 7...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAH!!! I'M COMING TO GET THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!

Luvpuppy- Good luck with that. Using just your arm power to get over to my place will really be hard, so good luck in that wheelchair! ^_^

Akito- WHY YOU SON OF A-

BubbleDragon- THERE! Are you better now?

Akito- HATORI! SHIGURE HAS MY JOURNAL! GET IT FROM HIM! DO IT FOR ME!

BubbleDragon- Shigure...

Luvpuppy- I DON'T HAVE HIS STUPID JOURNAL!

Akito- LIES! LIES! LIES! GIVE ME MY JOURNAL OR I'M GONNA-!

BubbleDragon- Akito just calm down...

Akito- BUT SHIGURE HAS MY-

BubbleDragon- Akito just put the ice on your arm and stop getting mad at Shigure.

Akito- BUT HE-

BubbleDragon- Akito!

Akito- HE TOLD ME THAT-

BubbleDragon- GO REST!

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- Teehee! Teehee! ^_^

BubbleDragon- Shigure don't make him upset.

Luvpuppy- OF COURSE NOT! I WOULD NEVER-

BubbleDragon- Yeah, yeah, save the excuses for someone who cares.

--BubbleDragon logs off--

Luvpuppy- Hehe, now back to the story...It was a dark and stormy night. HA! And Akito couldn't sleep. (typical) So he walked down the halls of the-

--Akito logs on--

Akito- STOP!!!

Luvpuppy- Why hello Akito! Wonderful day to read a story huh? ^_^

Akito- NO! NO! NO IT IS NOT! GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL OR I WILL KILL YOU!

Luvpuppy- Now where have I heard that before?

Akito- THIS TIME I'M NOT KIDDING! GIVE IT BACK!

Luvpuppy- Make me.

Akito- WHAT?!

Luvpuppy- I said, MAKE ME!

Akito- WHY YOU...YOU JUST BRING YOUR LITTLE SELF OVER HERE AND-

Luvpuppy- Make me.

Akito- GIVE MY JOURNAL BACK YOU IDIOT!

Luvpuppy- Make me.

Akito- QUIT SAYING THAT!

Luvpuppy- Make me.

Akito- WHY YOU! I WILL...YOU BETTER...I'M GONNA...GIVE IT BACK!!!

Luvpuppy- No. Make me.

Akito- WELL IF YOU WON'T GIVE IT BACK, AT LEAST STOP READING IT!

Luvpuppy- Make me.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'S IT I'M COMING OVER THERE RIGHT NOW!

Luvpuppy- Go ahead.

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- Ah, that was rich...anyways back to the story. Akito sat up in his bed, shivering. He had had a nightmare. Bwahaha! ^_^ After realizing that it was just a horrible dream, Akito decided that he wanted a drink of water, so he stepped out of bed. Akito began walking down the halls of the Main House. He went into the kitchen and got a drink. Wow, this is so boring...He started going back to his room but when he turned the corner, he ran straight into Kureno. "Kureno, what are you doing up?" Akito asked surprised that he was awake at such a late hour. Kureno said nothing, he just stood hovering- well that is the end of the story cause STUPID HATORI TOOK BACK THE JOURNAL JUST NOW! STUPID HATORI!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

THE NEXT DAY

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Stupid Haa-san...stupid Haa-san takes all of the fun away!

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- You really caused problems yesterday you know?

Luvpuppy- Oh, really? How? I was merely reading a journal!

BubbleDragon- Because, the journal you had WAS AKITO'S!

Luvpuppy- So? I thought he said HE was coming to get it. Instead he sent you, what a lazy bum.

BubbleDragon- That is the problem, he DID try to come get it.

Luvpuppy- Really? What happened?

BubbleDragon- He didn't make it past the hill.

Luvpuppy- Did he pass out? What do you mean he didn't make it past the hill?

BubbleDragon- Shigure, HE STARTED ROLLING BACKWARDS!

Luvpuppy- Oh my...

BubbleDragon- Yeah, he also broke his other foot, and his left arm.

Luvpuppy- Okay, tell me the whole story.

BubbleDragon- Okay, well after he started rolling backwards he almost ran into some kids playing then when the wheelchair hit a rock, he flew out of the chair and into the lake.

Luvpuppy- OMG are you serious?! What happened next?

BubbleDragon- Well he almost drowned cause he can't swim, and then when we finally rescued him he wasn't breathing so Kureno tried to do mouth to mouth...which made the situation even worse.

Luvpuppy- Why?

BubbleDragon- BECAUSE KURENO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DO MOUTH TO MOUTH!

Luvpuppy- That jerk.

BubbleDragon- Thankfully, I stepped in and saved him.

Luvpuppy- Bless you Haa-san.

BubbleDragon- Yeah, yeah now he is even grumpier than ever.

Luvpuppy- How so?

BubbleDragon- Well, he wants ice every few minutes, and he keeps cursing the whole zodiac for "His problems, and his misery in life."

--Akito logs on--

Akito- I NEED ICE!

BubbleDragon- See what I mean?

Akito- Wait! What are you telling everybody Hatori?

BubbleDragon- Oh nothing, let me go get your ice Akito.

Luvpuppy- For someone who broke their arm you sure do type fast Akito.

Akito- SHUT UP! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

Luvpuppy- How so?

Akito- IF YOU HADN'T TAKEN MY JOURNAL IN THE FIRST PLACE, I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO TRY TO COME AND GET IT IN THIS GOOD FOR NOTHING WHEELCHAIR!

Luvpuppy- It isn't my fault that you couldn't get past the hill!

Akito- YES IT IS! IF YOU HADN'T TOLD EVERYONE TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING THAT WOMAN AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN IN A FIGHT! IF I HADN'T GOTTEN INTO A FIGHT AND BROKE MY FOOT, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN STUCK IN THOSE DAMN CRUTCHES! AND IF THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN, HATORI WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO GET ME A WHEELCHAIR! AND IF I WASN'T STUCK IN A WHEELCHAIR, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS SO EASY TO TAKE MY JOURNAL! AND IF YOU HADN'T TAKEN MY JOURNAL SHIGURE, I WOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO COME GET IT! AND FINALLY, IF I DIDN'T TRY TO COME GET IT, MY OTHER FOOT AND MY LEFT ARM WOULDN'T BE BROKEN, AND WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION! AND THIS ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU STARTED IT BY INVITING EVERYONE OVER TO EAT TOHRU'S COOKING AT YOUR PLACE!

Luvpuppy- How did you know it was me who invited everyone?

Akito- I didn't...UNTIL NOW!

Luvpuppy- Dammit!

Akito- AND THIS IS ALSO NOT MY FAULT BECAUSE I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THERE WAS A HILL THERE! I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER MADE THAT HILL! DAMN THEM! AND DAMN THOSE LITTLE KIDS FOR BEING IN MY WAY!

Luvpuppy- Oh so now you're blaming the little kids? What did they do to you?

Akito- IF THEY WEREN'T IN MY WAY I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO SWERVE! I ONLY SWERVED OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART SO I WOULDN'T HIT THE DAMN KIDS, AND WHAT DID THAT GET ME? I'LL TELL YOU! AFTER I SWERVED I HIT A ROCK AND WENT FLYING INTO THE LAKE!

Luvpuppy- Did it hurt?

Akito- ...WHAT A STUPID QUESTION! WHAT DO YOU THINK?! OF COURSE IT HURT! AND DAMN KURENO FOR NOT GIVING ME SWIMMING LESSONS! DAMN HIM! DAMN YOU ALL!

Luvpuppy- Oh dear, somebody's mad...

Akito- OF COURSE I'M MAD! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING IN THIS STUPID WHEELCHAIR! IT SUCKS! I CAN'T WALK! AND I'M NOT EVEN TALL ENOUGH TO REACH THE TABLE TO EAT MY FOOD! HATORI HAS TO FEED ME! AND WHEN HATORI ISN'T AROUND, I HAVE TO FEED MYSELF, AND I CAN'T BECAUSE THIS WHEELCHAIR MAKES ME SO DAMN SHORT! I'M STARVING! I COULDN'T FEED MYSELF BREAKFAST THIS MORNING, AND WHAT IN THE WORLD IS TAKING HATORI SO LONG WITH MY ICE?

Luvpuppy- Sounds like your depressed.

Akito- NO SHIT!

Luvpuppy- Want me to make you feel better Akito?

Akito- What? NO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Luvpuppy- You're so harsh, oh well I gotta go so bye!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

Akito- I NEED MY DAMN ICE!

--Akito logs off--

THE NEXT DAY

(Akito sat in his room sifting through the piles of cards that sat on his desk)

Akito- Get well soon, Haru...Feel better soon, Hiro...Tohru's dinner was great, it's a shame you didn't come, Momiji...

(He gasped)

Akito- WHAT THE HELL?! Stupid Momiji...

(Tossing the ones he already read to the side, he picked up two bright pink cards)

Akito- Ick...Hope you get well, Kisa...Singing cures the soul, Ayame...

(He through them to the floor)

Akito- Don't let your spirits be broken, with lots of love, Tohru Honda...GAH!...Wheelchairs are fun, Love, Kureno...THAT COULDN'T BE MORE OF A LIE!...

(Tossing those cards to the side he made a mental note to kick Kureno's ass)

Akito- Don't be mad, get glad, Kyo...I HATE HIM!......I'M SORRY! Don't ever forgive me, Ritsu...Yeah you better be sorry!...

(He picked up a bright orange card with orange glitter on it)

Akito- Dear god...Isn't Kyo-kun wonderful? Love, Kagura...

(He immediately ripped up the card)

Akito- THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME!

(He picked up the last three cards)

Akito- Yeah yeah get better, Rin, "YEAH, YEAH?"...Get well soon, Yuki...HE DOESN'T MEAN IT!...

(The last card had pictures of rainbows, and butterflies on it)

Akito- What it this? Enjoy this card, LOVEY, LOVEY, Shigure,...Oh please! Hmm...a musical card?

(What the card plays inside)

Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- WHAT IS WITH ALL THE DAMN "GET WELL SOON" CARDS? I DON'T WANT CARDS! I WANT A PERSONAL APOLOGY! THOSE DAMN ASSES THINK THEY GET AWAY WITH SENDING ME STUPID "GET WELL" CARDS? WRONG! I'M GONNA (Sneeze!) ARE THESE (Sneeze) SUNFLOWERS? I'M ALLERGIC TO (Sneeze) SUNFLOWERS! ...SHI-GUR-E!

(The phone rang, and Akito answered it)

Akito- (Sniff) Hello?

Shigure- You called?

Akito- YOU! GET THESE DAMN (Sneeze) FLOWERS OUT OF MY (Sneeze) ROOM!

Luvpuppy- Ah, I see you got my present! Did you get all of the other cards too?

Akito- Thank you Hatori...YOU LITTLE WEASEL! YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT I'M ALLERGIC TO SUNFLOWERS! AND I DON'T WANT THESE STUPID CARDS, I WANT A PERSONAL APOLOGY!

Luvpuppy- Guess which one's from me!

Akito- You're not listening are you?

Luvpuppy- GUESS!

Akito- The musical one.

Shigure- Damn! How did you know?

Akito- YOU RECORDED YOUR OWN VOICE ON IT! And it is totally like you to try, and fail to make a horrible situation a funny one!

Shigure- You got me there... DID I SING OKAY?

Akito- NO! YOUR SINGING IS THE MOST DREADFUL SOUND I'VE EVER HEARD! IT MAKES MY HORRIBLE SITUATION OF BEING CRIPPLED EVEN WORSE!

Shigure- Oh, sorry 'bout that.

Akito- You tell everyone that I want a PERSONAL apology, not some dinky little cards!

Shigure- But they sent you those cards because they want you to get better...

Akito- No, Shigure, I'm not stupid. They sent me the cards because they are afraid to come apologize to me. And even if they want me to get better, a stupid little card isn't going to fix my broken legs!

Shigure- True, true...

Akito- You disgust me!

Shigure- Come on now, you know that you love me.

Akito- YEAH RIGHT!

Shigure- You do.

Akito- DO NOT!

Shigure- Liar.

Akito- LEAVE ME ALONE!

(Akito slammed the phone down)

Shigure- Hmm, maybe I will do something with Akito-san's little musical card...hehehe

WHAT HAPPENED TO AKITO THAT NIGHT

Akito- (Half asleep) Ugh...what is that noise?

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Huh? What time is it?

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Huh? (Looks at clock) SHIGURE! IT IS 1:30am! GO BACK TO SLEEP!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- (Awake now) Wait a sec- SHIGURE?

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- MUSIC? Where have I heard that music before?

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- ACK! It is that damn card! I must have left it open!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Now where did I put it...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- DAMN CARD SHUT UP!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- AAAAAAAAH! I have to stop Shigure's dreadful musical card!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- This would be so much easier if I could walk!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! STOP THE NIGHTMARE! AAAAAAAAAAAH!! NOOOOOO!!

2 HOURS LATER

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- WHEN WILL THIS THING RUN OUT OF BATTERIES?

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- I'm gonna die...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- SHUT UP!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- I WILL MURDER SHIGURE FOR GIVING ME THIS CARD!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- AND WHY DID HE HAVE TO RECORD HIS VOICE? OH THE HORROR! OH THE HORROR!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Maybe if I'm nice to it, and talk to it nicely, it will shut up...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- LISTEN TO ME! I'M SO TIRED THAT I'M TALKING ABOUT HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH A DINKY LITTLE CARD! I'M INSANE!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Oh well, it is worth a try...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Little card, if you can, please be quiet and let me sleep.

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- PLEASE? WITH SUGAR AND CHERRIES ON TOP?

(SILENCE)

Akito- Finally! Some peace and-

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- WHY YOU EVIL LITTLE CARD! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'M GONNA RIP YOU INTO TEENY TINY PIECES! AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I'M GONNA LAUGH ABOUT IT TOO! SO SHUT THE HELL UP!

(Card messes up)

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- Oh god no...

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- KILL ME NOW!

Card- -be HAPPY!  
-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- DAMN YOU SHI-GUR-E!!!

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

A/N: Poor, poor Akito-san. I know if someone did something like that to me, I would go insane. R&R and I cannot thank my readers enough! Love u guys! 


	10. Chapter 10: Hatori, I'm Being Haunted

A/N: Here lies chapter 10!! Bwahaha! CHAPTER TEN SHALL RULE YOU ALL! Nah, I'm joking. Chapter ten will take over the world, just not today.

---

Chapter 10- Hatori, I'm Being Haunted

1 HOUR LATER AKITO CALLS HATORI

Hatori's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Hatori- (Asleep) Uh...

Hatori's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Hatori- (Half asleep) Ayame?

Hatori's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Hatori- (Still half asleep) Ayame? GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Hatori's Phone- You have reached Hatori Sohma, I'm not available right now. If you have an appointment, please come by my office, if not please leave a message after the tone. BEEP

Akito- (Whispering) Hatori? Pick up...it is Akito.

Hatori- (Half asleep) Who? Ayame? GO AWAY! I have work to do, quit calling!

Akito (Whispering) Hatori please, I'm being haunted by a singing ghost.

Hatori- (Half Asleep) Hmm? Casper?

Akito- (Whispering) Hatori wake up...help me!

Hatori- (Annoyed but still half asleep) UH!

Akito- HA-TOR-I! WAKE UP!

Hatori- (Jumps up) AAAAH! I'm coming, I'm coming!

(Answer's phone)

Hatori- (Yawn) Hello?

Akito- Hatori! Finally! Hatori listen, you have to-

Hatori- Akito?

Akito- Yes it is me. Hatori I need your help.

Hatori- With what?

Akito- I'm being haunted...

Hatori- Huh? BY WHAT?

Akito- Shigure's damn musical card! It won't stop playing music, and I don't know where it is!

Hatori- Oh! Let me see......AKITO! DID YOU KNOW THAT IT IS 4:37 IN THE MORNING?!

Akito- (Sobbing) Yes Hatori! The stupid card has kept me up all night! Help me Hatori! Find it and destroy it so I can get some much needed rest!

Hatori- Akito, it was probably a nightmare just go back to-

Akito- NO HATORI! It isn't a nightmare listen!

Hatori- Okay...

(Akito lets Hatori listen to the card)

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Hatori- I see...how long has it been playing?

Akito- SINCE 1:30 am!

Hatori- Shouldn't it have run out of battery power by now?

Akito- THAT IS WHAT I THOUGHT!

Hatori- Well have you tried plugging your ears?

Akito- OF COURSE I HAVE! But Hatori it's EVIL!

Hatori- Akito, it's a CARD, how is it evil?

Akito- (Sobbing) Cause I asked it nicely to shut up, but it TRICKED me! IT IS A EVIL CARD!

Hatori- You TALKED to a CARD?

Akito- I didn't know what else to do! Hatori it is HAUNTING me!

Hatori- Akito it's a CARD it can't-

Akito- IT DOES! It doesn't shut up for about 45 minutes then I can't hear anything so I try to go back to sleep, but right when I close my eyes IT STARTS PLAYING AGAIN!

Hatori- Really?

Akito- YES! And it messes up a lot too, listen!

(Akito lets Hatori listen to the card)

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- Hatori, I'm begging you, MAKE IT STOP!

Hatori- I'll be over in a minute.

Akito- BLESS YOU HATORI! BLESS YOU!

(End of call)

HATORI CALLS AYAME 25 MINUTES LATER

Ayame's phone- Ding-a-ling-Ding-a-ling-Ding-a-ling!

Ayame- Now who could that be?

(Answers Phone)

Ayame- Hello?

Hatori- Hey Ayame, this is-

(Akito picks up other phone)

Akito- HELP US!

Ayame- Tori-san? Akito-san?

Hatori- Yes, we have a little problem.

Akito- LITTLE?! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT HATORI?! OH GOD MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!

Hatori- Okay, okay. Ayame we have a BIG problem. The card that Shigure gave Akito-

Akito- IS EVIL! OH SO EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! EVIL! AAAAAAAAH! HATORI IT'S MESSING UP AGAIN!

Ayame- What on earth?

Hatori- We need you to help us find the card! It won't stop playing the music!

Akito- THE BATTERY NEVER DIES! IT WON'T STOP THE DREADFUL MUSIC! HELP! IT'S EVIL!

Ayame- I'm all for helping you, but what should I do?

Hatori- Help us look for it.

Akito- KILL ME IF YOU HAVE TO! I WILL WELCOME DEATH WITH OPEN ARMS! ANYTHING IS BETTER THEN THIS! HATORI IT IS MESSING UP AGAIN! OH MY GOD, IF SOMEONE DOESN'T EITHER FIND THE CARD OR KILL ME IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES I WILL STRANGLE MYSELF!

Ayame- I'm coming over right now.

Hatori- Thank god.

Akito- WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON SHIGURE I'M GONNA-

(End of call)

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN AYAME ARRIVED

Ayame- I don't hear anything...

Hatori and Akito- Wait for it...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Ayame- Oh...

Akito- (Sobbing) Please Ayame! Make the dreadful tune stop! Make it stop!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Ayame- Dreadful? The tune is kind of catchy...

Akito- NO IT ISN'T! MAKE IT STOP!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- SOMEBODY KILL ME! DO IT! SOMEBODY KILL ME NOW!

Ayame and Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- AYAME! STOP IT! DON'T SING ALONG! FIND IT AND DESTROY IT! DO NOT MAKE THE HORRIBLE NOISE WORSE!

Ayame- Heehee...sorry...

Card- -be HAPPY!

Hatori- Here we go!

Akito- I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST TO MAKE THAT THING SHUT UP!

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- (Uncontrollable sobbing) I GIVE UP! TELL SHIGURE HE WINS! I'LL GIVE HIM ANYTHING! JUST TELL HIM TO GET THE CARD OUT OF MY LIFE!

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Ayame- I can see how that would be annoying...

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito and Hatori- YOU THINK?!

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- Maybe if I talked to it again...

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Hatori and Ayame- Worth a shot...

Akito- Little card, please be quiet, because if you don't I will die from lack of sleep.

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- Little card, I cannot be happy if you cannot be quiet, so please be quiet...please?

(Silence)

Hatori- It worked...

Ayame- Wow...

Akito- Don't be so sure...

(Silence)

Akito- HURRAY! I can finally get some rest! ^_^

Card -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- GET ME SOME PAPER!

Hatori and Ayame- Why?

Akito- (Sobbing) BECAUSE I NEED TO WRITE MY WILL!

A/N: Sorry that I wasn't able to fit any chatroom scenes in this chapter, but I was having too much fun torturing Akito. ^_^ Probably the thing I enjoyed most about this chapter was putting in the ringing of Ayame's phone. I knew I had to make it unique and spontaneous, but I laughed my but off when I read it over. I also enjoyed getting Hatori involved. Poor Hatori-san! ^_^ Please R&R annd thank u! 


	11. Chapter 11: The Secret Hiding Place

A/N: How many people out there like ice-cream? I LOVE it! I know that was totally random, but I'm a totally random person so... Okay before you read this chapter, something that REALLY gets won my nerves is when I check my traffic and it says like 87 people have read this story and I only have 30 (or so) reviews. Now that is just LAZY! So if you're always wondering why I say thank u to all of the people who review my chapters, now...you..know... THANK YOU, to everyone who takes time to give me a (whether it's good, or bad, hopefully good...) review!

---

Chapter 11: The Secret Hiding Place

HOURS LATER

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- So tired...

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- Where are the knives? I want to put myself out of my misery.

Hatori- I'm sorry that we couldn't find it Akito...

Ayame- I have to get back to work...sorry Akito-san...

Akito- It is okay; just give me a knife...a big one.

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- (Sigh) I will never sleep again...

Hatori- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....(Snore)......zzzzzzz..........zzzzz

Akito- HATORI! IF I CAN'T SLEEP, NEITHER CAN YOU! WAKE UP!

Hatori- I'M UP! I'M UP! (Sigh) Why don't you just go over to Shigure's house and get some sleep?

Akito- ARE YOU NUTS?! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS! HE WILL NOT BRING ME DOWN! I WILL NOT DIE!

Hatori- Akito?

Akito- WHAT?!

Hatori- The card isn't playing anymore!

Akito- ...YOU'RE RIGHT! OH HAPPY DAY! SLEEP! SLEzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Akito- (Jolts Awake) HUH? RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

(Akito answers phone)

Akito- (Very Sleepily) WHAT?! WHO IS IT? WHO DARES TO CALL ME AT (Akito looks at clock) 10:37 am?!

????- Here's a little song I wrote-

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

(Akito slams phone back on the hook)

Akito- What was THAT?!

Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

(Akito cautiously picks up phone)

Akito- (Whispering) Hello?

Shigure- Enjoying our card are we?

Akito- YOU!

Hatori- (Yawn) Who is it?

Akito- IT IS SHIGURE! DAMN YOU TO HELL SHIGURE! TO HELL! GET THIS CARD OUT OF MY ROOM RIGHT NOW!

Shigure- No, I don't think I will...

Akito- WHAT?! YOU HAVE TO! I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP IF YOU DON'T! I'M GOING TO DIE IF I DON'T GET SOME SLEEP!

Shigure- Hmm that is truly a tragedy...

Akito- SHIGURE I'M BEGGING YOU! I HATE THIS MUSIC! PLEASE! PLEASE TAKE IT AWAY!

Shigure- Well since you said please...

Akito- So you'll get rid of it?

Shigure- No. ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! I HATE YOU!

Shigure- Hahaha! ^_^

Akito- HA-TOR-I!

Hatori- Hmm?

Akito- TELL ALL OF THE SERVENTS TO START LOOKING FOR THAT FREAKING CARD!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAH!! HATORI DO IT NOW!

Hatori- (Yawn) Okay, okay...

Akito- YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS SHIGURE!

Shigure- Will I?

Akito- YES YOU WILL!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

(End of call)

THAT AFTERNOON

Akito- Bubbles under the....zzzzzzz....bed...find the card...so sleepy...

Hatori- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- WAKE UP HATORI! SHIGURE BROUGHT THE MONKEYS WITH HIM!

Hatori- MONKEYS?! WHERE?!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- TELL THE MONKEYS TO SHUT UP HATORI OR I'LL...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Hatori- Little monkeys, SHUT UP!

Akito- Huh? Where am I? NO I WILL NOT LOSE TO THE CARD!

Hatori- What about the monkeys?

Akito- WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT MONKEYS?

Hatori- But Akito you said-

Akito- FIND THE DAMN CARD!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Hatori- Right, right okay um...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- SOMEBODY MAKE IT STOP!

Hatori- Akito I don't know what to do...

Akito- CALL SHIGURE! TELL HIM HE WINS! GIVE HIM MONEY! TELL HIM I'LL GIVE HIM ANYTHING FOR HIM TO JUST GET THE DAMN CARD OUT OF MY ROOM!

Hatori- Are you sure?

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- I'M GOING TO RIP DOWN THE WHOLE ESTATE IF HE DOESN'T GET IT OUTTA HERE!

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Hatori- All right, hold on.

HATORI CALLS SHIGURE

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Hmm I wonder who that could be...(Evil grin) I'm not gonna answer it.

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Bwahaha... ^_^

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Lalalalalalalalalala. I'll let the answering machine get it.

Shigure's Phone- Hey Baby, you've reached Shigure Sohma. If you're hot, then feel free to come over. If you're not, then I'm not home so leave a message after the tone...I guess... BEEP

Akito- SHIGURE I KNOW YOU'RE HOME SO PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!

Hatori- Akito get off the other phone.

Akito- NO! SHIGURE PICK UP THE PHONE YOU SON OF A-

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- Hello? ^_^

Akito- WHY I OUTTA-!

Hatori- Shigure please get the card out of Akito's room, please.

Shigure- Whatever are you talking about? ^_^

Akito- YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE-! AAAAAAAH! HATORI! IT IS MESSING UP AGAIN! SAVE ME!

Hatori- Shigure please...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HATORI MAKE IT STOP OR I'M GOING TO GET THE SERVENTS TO RIP DOWN THE WHOLE ESTATE! EVERYTHING JUST TO FIND THAT DAMN CARD! I WILL, DON'T TEST ME!

Hatori- SHIGURE! I NEED SLEEP DAMMIT!

Shigure- Jeez, Haa-san....

Hatori- Shigure...

Shigure- Fine, fine I'll come get it.

(End of call)

Akito- HURRAY! WE'RE SAVED! WE'RE SAVED! HURRAY! TAKE THAT, STUPID CARD! YOU CANNOT BRING ME DOWN! HAHAHAHAHA! ^_^

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME! ^_^

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- YOU WILL NOT BRING ME DOWN! YOU CANNOT CONTROL MY LIFE!

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- NO I WILL NOT "BE HAPPY" UNTIL YOU ARE OUT OF MY ROOM FOR GOOD!

(Silence)

Akito- TAKE THAT YOU EVIL LITTLE BRAT! STUPID DINKY LITTLE CARD, YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT AKITO SOHMA? WRONG! I WILL SURVIVE! ^_^

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Akito- YOU HAVE NO EFFECT ON ME ANYMORE! SHIGURE IS ON HIS WAY TO GET YOU RIGHT NOW! YOU WILL BE GONE FOREVER! MUAHAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHA!!

Hatori- Akito?

Akito- WHAT NOW?!

Hatori- Shigure is here.

Akito- HE IS? WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE, LET HIM IN!

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- SHUT THE HELL UP!

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- Grrrrrr...........

(Hatori lets Shigure in)

Shigure- Hello fellow friends! ^_^

Hatori- GET THE CARD OUTTA HERE!

Shigure- See, I'd love to but I can't...

Akito and Hatori- WHAT?!

Card- -be HAPPY!

(Akito makes a jump for Shigure, but forgetting that he is in a wheelchair, falls out.)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (THUD)

Hatori- AKITO! ARE YOU OKAY?!

(Using his one good arm Akito crawled over to Shigure's feet and slams his fist down on them...hard)

Shigure- OOOOWWW!

(Shigure jumps back)

Hatori- AKITO! DON'T HURT HIM!

(Hatori helps Akito up and back into his wheelchair)

Card- -be HAPPY!

-be HAPPY!

Shigure- Now I'm DEFINITLY not removing the card!

Akito- SHIGURE! YOU SAID YOU WOULD SO DO IT!

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- IT IS DRIVING ME INSANE!

Card- -be HAPPY!

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! DO SOMETHING!

Shigure- Okay, okay I'll remove it but you have to leave the room.

Akito and Hatori- HUH?

Shigure- I wouldn't want you to see my special hiding place now would I?

Akito- WHY YOU-!

(Hatori begins to roll Akito out of his room)

Hatori- We're going, we're going.

(Hatori leaves room with Akito)

(Laughing Shigure climbs up into the attic right above Akito's bed and removes a piece of flooring that is between the ceiling and the attic floor. And there it was...the "Magical" Card.)

Card- -be HAPPY!

(Shigure closes card and hides it in his back pocket, then climbs down back into Akito's room.)

Shigure- ALRIGHT! You can come in now!

(Hatori walks back inside with Akito then collapses on the floor)

Akito- Where is it?

Shigure- You asked me to REMOVE it not give it to you.

Akito- I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING FOR IT!

Shigure- Really? ANYTHING?

Akito- Anything except what you're thinking right now.

Shigure- Damn...

Akito- GIMME IT!

Shigure- Oh fine...here.

(Shigure hands card to Akito)

Akito- FINALLY! MY REVENGE!

(Akito rolls over to desk and grabs lighter)

Akito- AND NOW YOU LITTLE CARD WILL DIE! I'M GONNA KILLzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

(Shigure gently put Akito on the bed, and tried to slip the card out from under his hands, but Akito's grip tightened around the card.)

Akito- No...My card...kill...kill...kill evil singing card...kill...

Shigure- Okay then.

(Shigure takes out digital camera and snaps photo)

Shigure- Oh, this is going to be posted on my MySpace page! ^_^

LATER THAT EVENING

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Tee hee! What a cute picture of Akito-san!

--Onigiri logs on--

--FishFan logs on--

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- Hey Shigure.

Onigiri- Hello Shigure-san! ^_^

FishFan- Yo.

Luvpuppy- Hey you guys, guess WHAT?

All- What?

Luvpuppy- Akito LOVED the musical card so much, he fell asleep with it, and when he was sleeping he wouldn't let it go! ^_^

Onigiri- How sweet! ^_^

CheeseMan and FishFan- AKITO DID WHAT?!

Luvpuppy- And he said he loved it so much he wants another musical Get Well card, and maybe another for Christmas! Oh, and Hatori wants one too.

FishFan and CheeseMan- REALLY?

Onigiri- IF THEY LIKED IT THAT MUCH, WE NEED TO SEND THEM ONE EVERY HOLIDAY! ^_^

CheeseMan- Honda-san...

FishFan- Tohru...

Luvpuppy- I AGREE! We should start on another "Get Well" card!

Onigiri- YES! RIGHT AWAY! ^_^

--Onigiri logs off--

CheeseMan- Shigure...you're not planning anything...are you?

Luvpuppy- OF COURSE NOT! Bwahaha... ^_^

FishFan- Shigure...

Luvpuppy- Bye, bye now! ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

CheeseMan- He is up to something...

FishFan- We should go check it out...before he does something stupid...

--FishFan logs off--

--CheeseMan logs off--

A/N: So what do you think of chapter eleven? I hope you like it because I WAS UP ALL NIGHT REVIEWING AND EDITINNG IT! Right now (as I type these words) it is 2:58am and I'm about to pass out! I have been working on this story and some of my others ALL NIGHT LONG! So you better (please...?) R&R and I am going to call it a night...morning...whatever! 


	12. Chapter 12: Staircase Madness

A/N: Sorry that the story kind of took an "Akito" turn. (I just noticed that by the way, sorry for my slowness) It's just that there are SO many funny things you can do with Akito, and besides I love her, because she is an awesome character! (And she is so much fun to torture! LOL.) Thank you for all of your support, and behold, CHAPTER TWELVE!! MUAHAHAHA!

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Chapter 12: Staircase Madness

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN AKITO WOKE UP

Akito- Mmm, such a wonderful sleep...

(Akito moves hand in such a way; it opens the card that lies next to him)

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Oh, Shigure you're too kind...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Huh? What's that?

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

Akito- Music...

(Akito wakes up suddenly)

Akito- I just had the weirdest dream that Shigure had given me this evil singing card and it sang a song...how weird...

Card- Here's a little song I wrote, you might wanna sing it note for note, don't worry, be HAPPY!

(Akito snaps fingers)

Akito- HEY! THAT WAS IT!

(Akito looks down and sees card and screams)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU!

Card- -be HAPPY!

(Desperately trying to kill the card, Akito falls off his bed and right on top of Hatori)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (THUD)

Hatori- GAH! I'M UP! I'M UP!

Akito- Hatori, I'm sorry, are you okay?

Hatori- Yeah.

Akito- Thank you for breaking my fall Hatori...

(Hatori turns around to face Akito)

Hatori- No problem.

(Kureno walks in)

Kureno- AKITO-SAN? I brought your favorite, Steak and shrimp and- GAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Kureno drops plate and stood gawking at Akito on top of Hatori, pointing a finger)

Kureno- WHA-?

Akito- What is your problem rooster boy?

Kureno- WHAT IS THIS?! ARE YOU...? DID YOU...? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!

(Akito glances down at Hatori, and then realizes how it must look to Kureno)

Akito- ACK! KURENO, IT ISN'T ANYTHING LIKE THAT!

Hatori- Wait a sec- OH GOD NO! KURENO WE WEREN'T-

Kureno- HATORI, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR! FILTHY! DIRTY! WRONG! GROSS! EWW!

Hatori- SHUT UP! Nothing happened! He FELL on me!

Kureno- THAT IS THE OLDEST EXCUSE IN THE BOOK! HE FELL ON YOU MY ASS!

Akito- BUT I DID! I was after The Card, and it scared me and- (Gasp!) THE CARD! IT'S GONE!

Kureno- Card? What card?

Akito- OH NO! HATORI IT GOT AWAY! NO! NO! NO! JUST WHEN I HAD IT IN MY CLUTCHES! NO! NO! NO!

Hatori- Not again...

(Hatori helps Akito up and puts him in his wheelchair)

Kureno- I still don't buy your story Akito.

Akito- I HAVE TO FIND IT!

Kureno- Find what?

Akito- THE CARD YOU IDIOT! THE CARD!

(Akito rolls out of room and to the flight of stairs)

Akito- Now how am I going to do this...?

(Akito sits at the top of only one of the many flights of stairs below him, talking to himself, and thinking)

Akito- Umm...perhaps if I went really slow...?

Akito- NO I CAN'T CHICKEN OUT NOW! I HAVE TO GET THE DEVIL CARD!

Akito- But...what if I get injured more...? Ummm...uhhh...

(Ren walks up behind Akito and gave him a huge push that sent him flying down the stairs with a piercing screech)

Ren- Oops...sorry......not... ^_^

(Akito began rolling down the stairs unable to stop himself)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(As he rolled down the stairs he zoomed past a servant)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Servant- GAAAH! AKITO-SAN!

(All of the servants plus Hatori and Kureno began tripping over themselves trying to get down the stairs to Akito, and all of them were shouting)

All- SAVE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY! SAVE HIM! SAVE HIM! OH NO!

(All the while Akito still kept rolling down each flight of stairs ramming into the wall when he got to the bottom, then he would just continue going down the next flight of stairs, repeating the same pattern)

Akito- AAAAAAH!! (CRASH) AAAAAAAAH!! (CRASH) AAAAAAAAAAH! HELP! HELP!

All- AKITO-SAN! SAVE HIM! SAVE HIM!

(When all of this was going on Ren stood at the top of the stairs laughing maniacally)

Ren- MUAHAHAHAHA! (Choke) MUHAHAHA! (Wheeze) (Cough) WHAT A LOSER!

Akito- AAAAAAAH! (Bone cracks) THAT'S GONNA HURT IN THE MORNING! AAAAAAAAAAAH!! (CRASH) AAAAAAAH!!!

All- SAVE HIM! HURRY! HURRY! SAVE HIM BEFORE HE GETS HURT!

Akito- BEFORE I GET HURT? I'M ALREADY HURT! SAAAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEEEE!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!! (CRASH)

(Outside Ayame came to visit Hatori, and was about to go inside when Akito flew out the front door and zoomed past him, missing hitting him by only a few inches)

Akito- AAAAAYYYYYAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE!!!!! HELP ME!

Ayame- OH MY GOD! THAT'S AKITO-SAN!

(Ayame joined the mob of servants and also went chasing after Akito)

Akito- HELP! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M GONNA DIE!

All- AKITO! NOOOOOOOO! AKITO-SAN! SAVE HIM! GET HIM!

Akito- RUN FASTER YOU SLOW POKES! HELP! ME!

(Akito started going up the same hill that led to Shigure's house, while the servants were looking for him in the front yard of the estate)

Akito- NOT AGAIN!

(Just like last time Akito began rolling backwards down the hill)

Akito- AAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAH!!

(This time there weren t kids in his way, but an old couple walking together)

Akito- ARGH! MOVE! MOVE! SOMEBODY SAVE ME! AAAAAAAAAAAH!

(With his only good arm, Akito swerved and zoomed right back into his front yard missing the old couple by a foot)

Akito- THERE IS NO WAY I'M FLYING INTO THE DAMN LAKE AGAIN!

(But also to miss the servants he was about to hit, Akito swerved again, only to crash into the gate of his estate)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! MOTHER F#$%&!

(CRASH! BANG! BOOM! CRASH!)

All- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AKITO-SAN CRASHED INTO THE GATE! SAVE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY!

(Ren doubled over)

Ren- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

(Akito laid turned over in the wheelchair sobbing)

Akito- NO ONE LOVES ME! YOU DIDN'T CATCH ME IN TIME! IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD HAVE CAUGHT ME IN TIME! YOU HATE ME!

All- NO! AKITO-SAN! ARE YOU OKAY? WE LOVE YOU AKITO-SAN! WE LOVE YOU!

Hatori- GET SOME ICE! HE'S BLEEDING!

Akito- I'M BLEEDING?!

(Akito reached up and touched his nose which seemed to hurt a lot, and when his hand came back it was covered in blood)

Akito- Blood...there's blood...I'm dying...

Hatori- Cover his eyes, he hates seeing his own blood!

Akito- I'm gonna die...I'm gonna die...too much blood...

(Kureno through a cloth over Akito's eyes who was minutes away from fainting)

Akito- Don't let me die...my nose hurts...blood...

Servants- IT IS OKAY AKITO-SAN! YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE! YOU'RE OKAY NOW! YOU'RE OKAY!

Hatori- Get back give him some air!

(All of the servants obeyed and went back inside)

(Hatori begins to stop the blood coming from Akito's nose as Kureno calls Shigure)

KURENO'S PHONE CALL TO SHIGURE

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- I don't wanna get up...

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Ah, so annoying!

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- (Sigh)

Shigure's Phone- Hey Baby, you've reached Shigure Sohma. If you're hot, then feel free to come over. If you're not, then I'm not home so leave a message after the tone...I guess... BEEP

Kureno- Shigure it is Kureno, we had a little accident here at the Main House...

(Akito can be heard from the background)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! THE PAIN! IT HURTS! IT HURTS!

Shigure- What the-?!

Kureno- HATORI! GET HIM TO STOP SCREAMING! So anyway, Shigure if your home please answer...Akito had an accident...

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- Hello? What happened to Akito?

Kureno- Oh nothing, he is fine now. Just dandy.

Akito- THERE IS SO MUCH BLOOD! I'M DYING! I'M DYING!

Shigure- WHAT HAPPENED TO AKITO? HE'S DYING?!

Kureno- No! No! He's not dying he's just...delusional, from the sight of blood.

Shigure- BLOOD?!

Kureno- Yeah, he rammed into the iron gate, Hatori says his nose is broken...

Shigure- How on earth did he ram into a gate?

Kureno- Ren pushed him down the stairs.

Shigure- SHE PUSHED HIM DOWN THE STAIRS? HOW EVIL CAN SHE BE?

Kureno- Dunno, but he is okay now.

Akito- MY NOSE! SPARE ME! SPARE ME! OH THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP HATORI!

Hatori- I'm trying, I'm trying.

Kureno- Oh yeah, and Hatori and Akito did it.

Shigure- THEY WHAT?!

Akito- Is that Shigure on the phone? I wanna talk to him! Gimme the phone!

Kureno- NO! Anyways, yep I saw Akito on top of Hatori when I walked into the room.

Shigure- Hatori wouldn't do something like that; I mean he's a...doctor.

Kureno- Well I saw, what I saw.

Akito- IF I'M BOUND TO DIE THEN TELL SHIGURE THAT...THAT...I LOVE HIM!

Hatori- Oh jeez, somebody get me that ice! Hurry!

Kureno- ..............

Shigure- Did Akito just say what I think he said?

Kureno- NO! Like I said...he is delusional...

Akito- I AM NOT DELUSIONAL! IF I'M GOING TO DIE, SHIGURE SHOULD AT LEAST KNOW THE TRUTH!

Shigure- Well now...how interesting... ^_^

Kureno- HE IS CRAZY DON'T LISTEN!

Akito- And Hatori, before I die, I want you to know, my death wish is for you to find The Evil Stalker Card and...AND KILL IT!

(Akito faints)

A/N: Poor, poor Akito-san. Thank you to all of my lovely readers and please reading and reviewing! It makes me want to type that much more! ; ) 


	13. Chapter 13: This Card Is Blue

A/N: Thank you to all of my wonderful readers who keep sending me reviews! Just keep in mind that ANYONE can send me a review, all you gotta do is press the "Review tthis Chapter/Story" button at the bottom when you're done reading! ^_^ It makes it easy, even for slow people like me, because I know, that if there wasn't a button (a labeled button) I would go crazy trying to find out how to review someone's story. Oh yeah, chapter 13. THE SCARY NUMBER! Enjoy...muahahaha...

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Chapter Thirteen: This Card Is Blue

WHAT HAPPENED TO AKITO THE NEXT DAY

Akito- (Half Asleep) Uh...my nose hurts...

(Akito wakes up)

Akito- Is this heaven? Wow, it looks so familiar...

(Akito tries to get out of bed, but falls face first on the floor)

Akito- If I'm in heaven, then why in the hell are my feet still broken?!

(Hatori walks in to see Akito sprawled across the floor and rushes over to help him up)

Hatori- AKITO! Are you okay?

Akito- Now I can clearly see that this is NOT heaven...darn...

Hatori- Umm...Akito, I have some bad news...

Akito- WHAT IS IT NOW?!

Hatori- Well, after that accident yesterday...you broke your nose...

Akito- WHAT?! MY NOSE!

(Akito touches his nose)

Akito- OW!

(Akito begins to remember yesterday and the blood)

Akito- Hatori...I feel faint...

Hatori- That isn't the worst of it...you kind of told Shigure...something...

(Akito looks up at Hatori in horror)

Akito- WHAT DID I TELL SHIGURE! WHAT DID I SAY TO HIM?!

Hatori- Uh...well...

Akito- TELL ME!

Hatori- You told him in exact quote, "If I am to die than tell Shigure that I LOVE him!" And he was on the phone with Kureno and he heard you...

Akito- NOOOOOO!! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH! I SAID THAT TO HIM?! ME?! HE HEARD ME SAY THAT?! OH MY GOSH!

Hatori- Yep, and he says that he wants you to get better so much that he made you another card.

Akito- AGH!

Hatori- He told me to tell you that it's in your drawer...

Akito- Alright, I'll talk to you later Hatori.

Hatori- Okay.

(Hatori leaves, and Akito rolls over to his drawer and opens it, just to find another card)

Akito- This card is blue...

(Akito examines card)

Akito- This card is INSANELY blue.... I HATE THE COLOR BLUE!

(Akito opens card, and different shades of blue light shoots out)

Akito- What the hell?!

Card- (Shigure's voice) Akito, have YOU ever had a blue day? Well, here is a little song that might explain what you're going through.

(Akito shuts card)

Akito- I don't even wanna know...

(Akito looks at card for a moment)

Akito- I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IS INSIDE OF IT!

(Akito opens card again)

Card- Akito, have YOU ever had a blue day? Well, here is a little song that might explain what you're going through.

Akito- Oh boy, another musical card, JUST GRAND!

Card- Yo, listen up here's a story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to...

Akito- It's evil...just like the last one...except worse!

(Akito closes card, and rolls over to his desk)

Akito- I know just what to do...I'll...I'll..BURN IT! YEAH THAT'S IT! I'LL BURN IT WHILE I STILL HAVE THE CHANCE!

(Phone Rings)

Akito's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Akito- DAMMIT! WHAT IS IT NOW?!

(Akito rolls over to the phone leaving the card on his desk)

Akito- Hello?

Ayame- HELLO AKITO-SAN! Is your nose feeling better?

(Akito remembers pain in his nose)

Akito- Thank you for reminding me that it hurts Ayame.

Ayame- Oops, sorry...

Akito- So why are you calling?

Ayame- I really don't know...

Akito- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW?!

Ayame- Well, Gure-san just told me to call you, I don't know why...

(Akito drops phone, and spins around. The card is gone)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! IT'S GONE! IT'S GONE! NO! NO! DAMN THAT STUPID, STUPID SHIGURE!

(Akito rolls out of his room and to the staircase)

Akito- Wait a minute...I have a horrible feeling...it isn't safe here...

(Akito quickly rolls back into his room shutting the door behind him, and sure enough, hiding behind the door was Ren)

Ren- DAMMIT!

(Ren walks away back to her room)

Akito- What do I do? What do I do?

(Phone Rings)

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I HATE THAT PHONE!

(Akito answers phone)

Akito- (Annoyed) Hello?

????- Hello is this Akito Sohma?

Akito- Yes...if it's about the bills, I paid them...I swear...

????- No, I've just called to inform you that you've just won one million dollars!

Akito- REALLY?!

Shigure- No. This is Shigure.

Akito- I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! AND LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! IF YOU'RE GOING TO SEND ME CARDS AND THEN JUST TAKE THEM RIGHT BACK THERE IS NO POINT IN SENDING THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Shigure- But it is fun! Hehehe... ^_^

Akito- YOU ARE PURE EVIL!

Shigure- You know it! ^_^

Akito- WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THAT CARD?!

Shigure- Hey Akito, can I ask you something?

Akito- Are you listening to me Shigure?

Shigure- Did you and Hatori really do IT?

Akito- Huh? NO! OF COURSE NOT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

Shigure- Who do you think?

Akito- (Angered) KUR-EN-O!

Shigure- Yep! He said that you and Hatori did IT.

Akito- WELL WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I FELL ON HIM!

Shigure- (Evil grin) Right...

Akito- I DID!

Shigure- Oh, I forgot Tohru said that she wanted to come eat lunch with you.

Akito- I DON'T WANT TO EAT LUNCH WITH THAT LITTLE SNOB!

Shigure- But she said-

Akito- I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE SAYS! I DON'T CARE WHAT SHE WANTS! SHE IS NOT SPECIAL! I AM THE ONLY SPECIAL PERSON LIVING ON THIS EARTH! NO! I WILL NOT EVER EAT LUNCH WITH HER! GOOD-BYE SHIGURE!

Shigure- But-

(End of call)

(Just then a servant comes in with Akito's lunch)

Akito- LUNCH! ^_^

Servant- Here you are, Akito-san!

Akito- HURRAY! HURRAY! LUNCH! AND IT SMELLS SO GOOD! ^_^

Servant- Eat up!

(Servant leaves, and Akito begins poking at food)

Akito- Yumm...^_^

(Right when Akito is about to take a bite of the food, it falls off his lap, and onto the floor)

Akito- NOOOOOOOO!!

(Servant rushes back in)

Servant- Akito-san, are you okay?

Akito- NO, I AM NOT OKAY! MY FOOD FELL! YOU PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW BY NOW THAT I CAN'T FEED MYSELF!

Servant- I am so sorry Akito-san, I will get you more food right away!

Akito- HMPH! YOU BETTER!

(Servant cleans up spilled food, and leaves)

Akito- I am so HUNGRY!

(Hatori comes in)

Hatori- Akito, I have some news that you are going to like!

Akito- Is it food?

Hatori- Well, no...but-

Akito- THEN I DON'T WANT IT!

Hatori- But Akito, we got you an electric wheelchair!

Akito- What is an electric wheelchair?

Hatori- It is a wheelchair that you can control with buttons, you don't have to use your arm anymore!

Akito- HURRAY! HURRAY! OH HAPPY DAY! WHERE IS IT?!

(Hatori brings in a shiny new wheelchair that is even bluer then the card Akito got earlier)

Akito- It's...

(Akito begins to twitch)

Akito- IT'S BLUE!

Hatori- Yes...and?

Akito- IT'S BLUE!

Hatori- You all ready said that...

Akito- I...I..I HATE THE COLOR BLUE! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

Hatori- But Akito-

Akito- IT'S EVIL!

Hatori- But-

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori- Akito calm down! It was the only color they had in stock!

Akito- GET IT AWAY! IT'S GONNA KILL ME! THIS WAS SHIGURE'S IDEA WASN'T IT?

Hatori- No, they just didn't have any other color...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori- Akito please!

Akito- ARGH!!

Hatori- AKITO!

Akito- GET THAT AWFUL COLOR OUT OF MY ROOM! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!

Hatori- Okay! Okay!

(Hatori takes wheelchair out of room)

Hatori- There are you better now?

Akito- Yes, I'm fine now.

Hatori- If you want, we can spray paint it another color.

Akito- Like black?

Hatori- Yes Akito, like black.

Akito- HURRAY! I'LL TAKE IT! ^_^

(Ren comes by Akito's room and sees wheelchair)

Ren- Huh...now who would leave trash lying around in the hallway? (Evil Grin)

(Ren takes wheelchair to the top of the staircase)

Akito- So I guess I'll keep it Hatori so- (CRASH!) What the hell was that?

Ren- MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT AKITO! ^_^

(Ren runs off)

Akito- Hatori was that by any chance...my wheelchair?

(Hatori leaves the room for a moment then screams)

Hatori- THAT WHEELCHAIR WAS $3490.00!

Akito- (Sigh) I take it that it was my wheelchair...

Hatori- WE CAN STILL SAVE IT! (CRASH!) Never mind...

Akito- UGH!

(Just as the wheelchair was coming down the stairs, Kureno was walking up them to go see Akito)

Kureno- Ah, what a wonderful- Is that a wheelchair? AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Hatori- KURENO WATCH OUT! Ooh, that is going to leave a mark...

Akito- WHAT HAPPENED TO KURENO?!

Hatori- I think, I better go check on him...

(Akito rolls out of his room and peaks at the stairs. Kureno is sprawled across the bottom of staircase with the blue wheelchair on top of him)

Akito- Oh dear...

Kureno- I can't feel my legs...

(Hatori rushes down to Kureno)

Hatori- Kureno, tell me where it hurts.

Kureno- EVERYWHERE! MY WHOLE BODY HURTS! I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!

(Hatori moves wheelchair off of Kureno)

Kureno- THE PAIN!

Akito- Kureno, I'd come over there and hug you and all, but right now I can't get near the staircase, I hope you understand...

Kureno- THE PAIN IS TOO MUCH TO BEAR!

Akito- Oh dear...Kureno don't worry it will be okay! I just can't come down there right now...

(Akito looks from side to side)

Akito- It still isn't safe... THAT WOMAN is lurking around somewhere...

THAT EVENING

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- Oh my god, this is so great! This is my best idea yet!

--BlackIsMyColor logs on--

BlackIsMyColor- Hey Yuki. What's up?

CheeseMan- The best thing has happened! Well, let s just say, I've done something so terrifically evil! ^_^

BlackIsMyColor- To Kyo?

CheeseMan- Who else?

BlackIsMyColor- True. What did you do?

CheeseMan- Okay. Well when Honda-san, served us chocolate brownies for dessert, guess what I put in his brownie?

BlackIsMyColor- Poison?

CheeseMan- No. I put ExLax! Isn't it great?

BlackIsMyColor- Okay, so you made him have to take a really big shit, so what?

CheeseMan- This is where the evil part comes in!

BlackIsMyColor- Amuse me.

CheeseMan- Okay, okay. I saw that he was going to the bathroom, so I took every single roll of toilet paper out of the house!

BlackIsMyColor- Wow, and here I thought you would've removed the toilet.

CheeseMan- Shut up! What I did was perfectly fine! And it serves him right!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Yuki I don't know where you are, but can you bring Kyo a roll of toilet paper? It seems that we're all out, and I'm kind of busy.

CheeseMan- Sure thing.

Luvpuppy- 'Kay. Thank you! ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- You're not going to do it, are you?

CheeseMan- No way in hell. ^_^

BlackIsMyColor- I guess you're more cruel than I give you credit for, Yuki.

CheeseMan- Yep. ^_^

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Uh, Yuki do you happen to know where the toilet paper is?

CheeseMan- No I don't Honda-san. Why?

Onigiri- Well, you see, Kyo is, uh, stuck in the bathroom, and uh-

CheeseMan- No problem Honda-san, I will go to the store and buy some right now.

Onigiri- What? Really?!

CheeseMan- Sure thing.

Onigiri- Thank you so much Yuki-kun! ^_^

--Onigiri logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- You're not going to buy any, are you?

CheeseMan- No way in hell. ^_^

BlackIsMyColor- You're a better liar than I give you credit for.

CheeseMan-- Yep. ^_^

--FishFan logs on--

CheeseMan- HUH?!

FishFan- Yuki, you stupid fuck!

CheeseMan- How are you out of the bathroom?!

FishFan- Well when Tohru said you were going to go buy some toilet paper for me, I knew I would be stuck in there all day, so I just used my surroundings.

BlackIsMyColor- Hahahaha! ^_^

CheeseMan- You WHAT?! THAT IS DISGUSTING! What on Earth did you use?!

FishFan- Heh. Shouldn't have left your homework in the bathroom, stupid ass.

CheeseMan- AGH! MY WORK!

FishFan- It was a very good essay by the way.

CheeseMan- I'M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE!

--CheeseMan logs off--

FishFan- See ya, Haru!

--FishFan logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- And here I used to think I was the stupid one. Hahaha, silly me.

--BlackIsMyColor logs off--

THAT NIGHT

Akito- Mmmm...zzzzzzzzzzzzz

(Akito was enjoying a very pleasant dream)

Akito's Dream-

Akito was being fed grapes on a silver platter by some very sexy guys who were NOT Shigure when her servant walked in.

Tohru stood in front of Akito bowing her head.

Tohru- Master Akito, would you like anything else?

Akito- Go away fool! You are nothing!

Tohru- Oh really? Well I only have one thing to say to you.

Akito- You do huh? Well what is it?

Tohru- -everything is blue.

Akito- What?

Tohru- -everything is blue.

(Akito begins to wake up)

Akito- What did you call me?!

Card- Yo, listen up here's a story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to...

Akito- (Waking up) Huh? Shigure?

Card- Yo, listen up here's a story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to.  
Akito- Music again? (Awake now) MUSIC!!

Card- Yo, listen up here's a story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to.  
Akito- What is that?

Card- Yo, listen up here's a story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to...

Akito- ACK! IT'S THAT HIDEOUSLY BLUE CARD!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Oh no...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- SPARE ME!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- NO IT'S NOT!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

3 HOURS LATER

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Grrrrrrr...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I'm going to kill you little card...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- DON'T TEST ME!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I need help...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- KURENO!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I'll have to go to him...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- SHUT UP! NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING IN MY ROOM IS BLUE!

Card- -everything is blue.

(Akito pulled himself into his wheelchair)

Akito- Now I must go get help from-

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- IF YOU SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR THAT I WILL RIP YOU TO PIECES!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito rolls out of his room and to the front of Kureno's room door)

Akito- (Whispering) Kureno? (Knocks on door) Kureno? Are you awake?

(Akito could hear Kureno from outside the room)

Kureno- (Asleep) Ugh...

Akito- (Whispering) Kureno, open the door please, I beg of you, The Devil Card has come back to life!

Kureno- (Still Asleep) Don't let Shigure win the battle...don't let him win...kill the puppy dog...

Akito- KUR-EN-O!

Kureno- (Awake) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Who is at my door?

Akito- It is me Akito, hurry open the door The Evil Stalker Card is back...

(Kureno opens door)

Kureno- Akito what in the world are you doing up at this time of night?

Akito- (Sobbing) Kureno, it is The Devil Card back from the dead!

Kureno- You woke me up for that?

Akito- I'm not lying! Look, come to my room and you'll hear it!

Kureno- Okay, okay...

(Kureno goes to Akito's room)

Akito- Listen! Listen!

Card- -everything is blue.

(Akito covers ears)

Akito- Kureno please, make it stop!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- WHY?! WHY OF ALL THINGS BLUE?! WHY IN THE WORLD DOES IT HAVE TO SING ABOUT THE COLOR BLUE?! WHAT IS SO INTERESTING ABOUT THE FREAKING COLOR BLUE?! KILL ME NOW!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- Oh dear...

Akito- Kureno find it please!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- FIND IT BEFORE I KILL MYSELF!

Kureno- You know...it sounds like it is coming from the attic...

Akito- Now why didn't I think of that? Kureno go check! Go check!

Kureno- Okay, Okay...

(Kureno climbs up into the attic and searches around for awhile then pokes his head out from the attic)

Kureno- Akito it's coming from the floor.

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- No Kureno, it's coming from the attic...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- ACK! MAKE IT STOP!

Kureno- Akito, I can hear it, and I'm positive that it's coming from your room.

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- GET SHIGURE ON THE PHONE NOW!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I HATE BLUE! I HATE IT!

(Kureno climbs down from the attic and calls Shigure)

PHONE CALL

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Ah that must be Akito enjoying his card...

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Just a moment!

(Shigure answers phone and Akito grabs phone from Kureno)

Shigure- (Happy and Cheerful) Hello? ^_^

Akito- GET IT OUTTA HERE!

Shigure- Now who might this be?

Akito- IT'S ME!

Shigure- I'm sorry I don't know a "Me."

(Shigure hangs up)

Akito- HE HUNG UP ON ME KURENO!

Kureno- Call him back.

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!! OKAY!

(Akito calls Shigure)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- I am so popular. ^_^

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- Hello?

Akito- HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME YOU LITTLE-

Shigure- Who is this?

Akito- (Sigh) It's Akito.

Shigure- Oh hi! What are you doing up so late? ^_^

Akito- YOU'RE CARD!

Shigure- Card? I have no card?

Akito The BLUE one.

Shigure- OH! Yes that card, what about it?

Akito- IT'S IN MY ROOM AND IT WON'T STOP PLAYING THE STUPID BLUE SONG, ABOUT A BLUE MAN, AND BLUE WINDOWS, AND A BLUE CAR, AND A BLUE HOUSE! IT MAKES ME SICK!

Shigure- Sorry about that.

Akito- AND THEN IT GOES "EVERYTHING IS BLUE," "EVERYTHING IS BLUE!" IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!

Shigure- What do you want me to do about that?

Akito- I WANT YOU TO-

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- GET IT OUT OF MY ROOM! I HATE THE COLOR BLUE! THIS IS WORST THEN THE LAST CARD!

Shigure- I'll get it out of your room tomorrow.

Akito- WHY WAIT TILL TOMORROW?

Shigure- I have to get my sleep of course! Bye, bye now! ^_^

Akito- WAIT! IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY?! HELP ME!

Shigure- Hmm...You re right I do have something else to say.

Akito- What?

Shigure- Sleep well! ^_^

(End of Call)

Akito- SLEEP WELL?

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I'm gonna die...

Card- -everything is blue.

-everything is blue.

Kureno- God this is annoying!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Ya think?!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WHY IS EVERYTHING BLUE?

Akito- IT'S NOT! THE CARD IS JUST TRYING TO BRING ME DOWN!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- GAH! MAKE IT STOP!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I CAN'T WALK! WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP?!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- I DON'T KNOW!

Card- -everything is blue.

-everything is blue.

-everything is blue.

-everything is blue.

Kureno and Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

A/N: Am I sick for torturing Akito this much? I don't think so. At least now Kureno has to feel some of the pain! Poor Kureno... Well please read and review! Your reviews make me want to update faster. (Hint, hint) ^_^


	14. Chapter 14: Shigure At The Window

**A/N: Sorry that this one took so long. I don't own Furuba no matter how many times I wish I did. And I don't own the blue song either! Boo-hoo, I own nothing! Oh well, have fun! ^_^**

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Chapter 14: Shigure At The Window

THE NEXT DAY

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Somebody save me...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- WHY IS IT BLUE?!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Akito- KURENO WAKE UP! IF I HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS TORTURE SO DO YOU!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- (Asleep) Everything is blue Akito...

Akito- AAAAAAH! WAKE UP!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- (Sobbing) Why me?! Why?! Why does Shigure choose to torture me? He could do this to that little goody goody Tohru, but NO he has to torture ME!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Little Stalker Card, if you are listening, then I hate you. You know that right?

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- NO IT'S NOT!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- (Sobbing) It's no use! That thing is pure evil! Evil I say!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Kill me...kill me...

Kureno- Yo, listen up here's a story, about Akito who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to...

Akito- WHAT DID YOU SAY KURENO?!

Kureno- Blue...blue...my dog is blue...Akito is blue...we all are blue...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I CAN'T STAND THIS!!

Kureno- Blue skies...

Akito- I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE SLEEPING KURENO, SHUT UP!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- Blue cheese...

Akito- Grrrrrrrrrrr...

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- Blue berries...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I'm gonna kill him...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I'LL KILL YOU TOO!

Kureno- Blue moon...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- (Clenching fist) Kureno...

Kureno- Akito is hot when he is blue...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- THAT'S IT!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- WHERE IS THAT DAMN CARD?! I WILL KILL IT! I WILL! NOW IT HAS TAKEN OVER KURENO! DAMN CARD! DAMN CARD! KURENO WAKE UP THIS INSTANT!

Kureno- What can I do for you? What can I do for you?

Akito- You can shut up!

Kureno- Ketchup got it...

Akito- NOT KETCHUP YOU DOLT, SHUT UP!

Kureno- One order of Shut Up got it.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Akito- Wait, the music stopped...

Kureno- The music stopped...

Akito- Quit copying me Kureno.

Kureno- Quit copying me Kureno.

Akito- Are you really asleep?

Kureno- Are you really asleep?

Akito- STOP!

Kureno-STOP!

(Akito rolls over to Kureno and punches him over the head)

Kureno- (Awake) I'M UP!

Akito- You're even more annoying than that damn card!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- (Sobbing) I WAS KIDDING! I WAS KIDDING! I REALLY WAS!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- NO! NO! KURENO DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?! DO YOU?!

Kureno- What did I do?

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- THAT!

Kureno- ....................

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Make it stop! Make it shut up!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- I would if I knew where it was.

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I'm gonna kill Shigure.

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- You should.

Akito- I will.

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- SHUT THE HELL UP!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- WHY BLUE?! WHY COULDN'T IT BE BLACK, OR RED?!

Card- -everything is blue.

Kureno- Someone s at the door...

Akito- Huh? Someone s at the...OH! IT MUST BE SHIGURE! LET HIM IN KURENO!

Kureno- Why should I?

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- DO IT BEFORE I KILL YOU!

Kureno- Okay, okay...

(Kureno opens door to see Ren standing outside of it)

Akito- SHUT THE DOOR! SHUT THE FREAKING DOOR!

(Kureno slams door in Ren's face, and from outside the door you hear a muffled scream)

Ren- AGH!

Kureno- I think I hit her...

Akito- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT STUPID WOMAN! HA! SERVES YOU RIGHT! HA!

Kureno- SHE'S COMING IN!

Akito- WHAT?! LOCK THE DOOR!

Kureno- YOU DON'T HAVE A LOCK ON YOUR DOOR AKITO!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAH! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUT ONE IN!

Kureno- I was?

Akito- YES! NOW THAT WOMAN IS GOING TO KILL ME!

(Ren walks in, with a very big red mark on her forehead)

Ren- You...

Akito- You...

Kureno- Me...

Akito- What do you want? GET OUT OF ROOM THIS INSTANT!

Kureno- YEAH!

Ren- I just came to say that Shigure is here to see you.

Akito- He is?

Ren- Yes, and I also came to tell you... I'M GONNA GET TO HIM FIRST SLOW POKE!

Akito- WHAT?! YOU LEAVE MY ZODIAC ALONE!

Ren- Ta, ta!

(Ren leaves Akito's room)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT EVIL, EVIL WOMAN! KURENO STOP HER!

Kureno- Why me?

Akito- BECAUSE I'M CRIPPLED! NOW GO! HURRY!

Kureno- Alright, alright...

(Kureno leaves and begins to go after Ren)

Akito- It's quiet in here...to quiet...

(Akito turns around to see Shigure face pressed up against the window, and he flips off of his bed in surprise)

Akito- AGH! (THUD!) Owww...

Shigure- HI AKITO-SAN! DID YOU MISS ME?!

Akito- (Hurting) Uh...

Shigure- OH I'M SORRY! DID I SCARE YOU AKITO-SAN?! OOPS! Hehehehe...

Akito- I CAN'T GET UP!

Shigure- I'd come help you, but your crazy mother is out there chasing Kureno around, so I'm hiding.

Akito- WHAT?! SHE'S GOING AFTER KURENO?! SAVE HIM SHIGURE! SAVE HIM!

Shigure- HA! NOT A CHANCE!

Akito- I'M SERIOUS!

Shigure- HA!

Akito- SHI-GUR-E! DO IT!

Shigure- No, I think I will come up and see you.

Akito- HUH?! NO ABSOULUTLY NOT!

Shigure- Be there in a second! Bye, bye! ^_^

(Shigure disappeared from the window sill)

Akito- OMG! OMG! HELP! KURENO! HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THE PERVERTED PUPPY!

Shigure- I'M COMING DOWN THE HALL!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT DO I DO?!

Shigure- I'M AT THE DOOR!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MURDER! MURDER!

(Shigure walks in)

Shigure- Hey baby, did you miss me?

Akito- No.

Shigure- Do you love me?

Akito- No.

Shigure- Do you want me?

Akito- No.

Shigure- Don't deny it.

Akito- No.

Shigure- I love you.

Akito- No.

Shigure- Yuki is gay.

Akito- No- WAIT, WHAT?

Shigure- JUST KIDDING! ^_^

Akito- (Sigh) You drive me insane.

Shigure- Insane with love?

Akito- No.

Shigure- Awww, you big meanie...

Akito- HELP ME UP!

Shigure- I don't think I should...

Akito- You sicken me.

Shigure- Sicken you with...love?

Akito- YES!

Shigure- Really?

Akito- No.

Shigure- You are pure evil!

Akito- As are you.

Shigure- Well I came in here to see you, but I guess I should leave.

Akito- HELP ME UP FIRST! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!

Shigure- Fine, I'll help you up if you give me a kiss...

Akito- Forget it, I'll help myself up.

Shigure- Okay, whatever you say, I guess I can't take the card out of your room either...

Akito- WHAT?! BUT YOU SAID-

Shigure- Kiss me first.

Akito- BUT-

Shigure- I think I should be paid for my services, don't you?

Akito- Well, the card isn't even playing anymore so, HA!

Card- -everything is blue.

Shigure- Oh, really?

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I fucking hate that card!

Card- -everything is blue.

Shigure- Alright, all I asked for was a little kiss, but if you like the music THAT much-

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- OKAY, OKAY I'LL DO IT!

(Shigure helps Akito up and Akito reluctantly, gives him a peck on the cheek)

Akito- Ewww...Shigure germs...

Shigure- Alright, just leave the room for a sec, and this card will be history.

(Akito rolls out of the room wiping his mouth)

Akito- I need mouthwash...

(Shigure goes to the secret place in the attic and retrieves Evil Stalker Card #2)

Shigure- Okay you can come in now Akito-san!

(Akito rolls back in the room)

Akito- Did you get the card?

(Shigure pulls out card and opens it. The blue lights pour out)

Shigure- Yep! ^_^

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- GAH! SHUT IT! SHUT IT!

(Shigure shuts the card)

Shigure- Do you want it?

Akito- DO I WANT IT? OF COURSE NOT!

Shigure- You sure?

Akito- Hmmm...maybe to burn...GIMMIE IT!

(Shigure hands over card, and Akito is about to rip it, before he falls fast asleep)

Akito- I'M GONNA- Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Shigure- Awww! How cute! ^_^

(Shigure puts Akito on his bed, and snaps a picture of him with the card)

LATER

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- Hello? Is anyone online? Tohru?

SecretGirl984- Hi. My name is Stacy.

FishFan- Hi. Is anyone else on?

SecretGirl984- Nope. Just me. Are you looking for someone?

FishFan- Yes actually. Do you know anyone by the username Onigiri, or maybe even Luvpuppy, or dare I say it, CheeseMan?

SecretGirl984- Oh my, I do know them! Onigiri is a really close friend of mine!

FishFan- Really? Well did they get online at all? Because they are all gone...

SecretGirl984- No, sorry. Are they your friends?

FishFan- Yeah. Funny. Onigiri never mentioned you. I'd think she'd being telling everyone if she made a new friend...

SecretGirl984- Well maybe she is just shy, Kyo.

FishFan- Wait. How do you know my name?

SecretGirl984- What are you talking about?

FishFan- I never told you my name.

SecretGirl984- Crap!

--SecretGirl984 logs off--

FishFan- OH MY GOD!

--FishFan logs off--

**A/N: Thank you to all my wonderful readers! Does anyone have any idea who SecretGirl984 is? Poor Kyo! (LOL) Please read and review, and thank you again. ^_^**


	15. Chapter 15: Buttons

A/N: If you have not noticed the title, props to the Pussycat Dolls for their success on their song "Buttons". I had to make a little version of my own for this chapter, but most of the lyrics are the same. And again I do not own "Buttons" (Or Furuba). Please do not sue me. ^_^

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Chapter 15: Buttons

THE NEXT MORNING

Akito- (Waking up) Mmmm...I love sleep...

(Akito accidentally pushes card open and a bright blue light shines in his face)

Akito- AGH!

(Still asleep Akito rolls over on his other side away from the light)

Card- Yo, listen up here's a story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to...

Akito- Shigure, shut up please.

Card- Yo, listen up here's a story, about a little guy who lives in a blue world, and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside, blue his house with a blue little window and a blue corvette, and everything is blue for him and his self and everybody around, cause he aint got nobody to listen to...

Akito- (Waking up) Huh? There is blue outside?

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- WHAT?! IT'S THAT DAMN CARD!

Card- -everything is blue.

(Akito looks down and one of the blue lights hits him smack in the eyes, and lurches back, causing him to go tumbling off his bed)

Akito- HYAH! (THUD!)

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- My back hurts...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- (GASP) THE DEVIL CARD!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- I WILL KILL IT!

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- If only I could get up...

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- Ugh...

(Hatori walks in, and quickly helps Akito up)

Hatori- AKITO! You need to be more careful, and stop falling.

Akito- Don't tell that to me! Tell it to THE DEVIL CARD!

Hatori- Shigure tortured you with that one too?

Card- -everything is blue.

Akito- YES! GIMME IT! GIMME!

(Hatori hands the card to Akito, and Akito begins to rip it)

Akito- MUWAHAHAHAHA! (RIP!) MUWAHAHAHA! (RIP!) WHAT DID I TELL YOU LITTLE CARD?! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO DEFEAT AKITO SOHMA! (RIP!) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(When the card was nothing more, Akito simply threw it into the trashcan)

Akito- I win.

(Hatori sighs and walks out of the room)

(At that moment Kureno walked in with a DVD in his hand)

Akito- What's that?

Kureno- Shigure gave it to me, he said for you to watch it.

(Akito begins to back away)

Akito- Burn it...

Kureno- But Akito-

Akito- BURN IT BEFORE IT GETS AWAY, LIKE THE STALKER CARDS DID! HURRY! BURN IT WHILE IT'S STILL IN YOUR GRASP!

(Kureno pops DVD into Akito's DVD player)

Kureno- Come on, it can't be that bad.

Akito- You're wrong...

Kureno- Look, I'll watch it with you, come on.

Akito- Okay...I guess...

(As the video starts you see Shigure up close, looking into the camera, and adjusting it)

Shigure- Is it on?

Akito- (Annoyed) What is he doing?

Shigure- Oh, it is on! ^_^

Kureno- Idiot...

(Shigure steps back and hits a button on his stereo and music starts to play)

Shigure- This is for you Akito baby.

Akito- Oh, jeez!

Shigure-YEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(Akito jumps)

Akito- AGH!

Kureno- You gotta be kidding me...

Shigure- -I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe, uh huh, but you keep laughin', uh, saying what you gon' do to me, uh huh, but I see nothing...

(Shigure begins unbuttoning his shirt)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- COVER YOUR EYES AKITO!

(Akito was frozen in horror)

Akito- MY EYES WON'T SHUT! I CAN'T STOP LOOKING!

Shigure- -...I'm a sexy papa, just trying to get what I wanna...

Akito- HE IS TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT KURENO!! GET THE CHANNEL CHANGER! TURN IT OFF!

Kureno- Where is your remote?

Shigure- -...but I can't seem to get ya over here to help take this off. Baby can't you see? (SEE?) These clothes aren't fitting on me...

(Shigure shakes off his shirt and flings it to the side)

Akito- IT BURNS! TURN IT OFF! IT BURNS!

Kureno- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! HE IS GOING FOR THE PANTS!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! NOT THE PANTS!!

Shigure- -...the heat coming from this beat. I'm about to blow, I don't think you know! I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe, uh huh...

Akito- TURN THE CHANNEL! DO SOMETHING!

Kureno- AGH!! HE IS OPENING HIS PANTS!

Akito- OH MY GOD!

Shigure- -Come on baby loosen up my buttons babe, loosen up my buttons babe, come on baby loosen up my buttons babe...

Kureno- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- ARE THOSE BRIEFS?! OH MY- DO THEY SAY "I HEART AKITO?" OH MY GOSH THEY DO! HE IS A FREAK! KURENO DO SOMETHING!

(Kureno was rolling around on the floor with his eyes covered)

Kureno- I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND!

(As the video was about to end, Shigure ripped off his briefs, but the camera went down to his ankles and it didn't show anything)

Akito- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Akito thought it did show Shigure completely naked, and therefore flipped backwards in his wheelchair (again) and just laid there twitching)

Akito- Nightmares...nightmares...

Kureno- Is it over? Can I look?

(Kureno looked up at the TV and sighed)

Kureno- (Sigh) See I told you it wouldn't be bad Akito. Uh, Akito?

Akito- Help...help...

(A moment later Hatori walked in carrying Akito's lunch)

Hatori- Akito?! What in the world? You look like you've just had a seizure!

Akito- (Still twitching) T...t...turn...it...off...p...please...

(Akito pointed to the TV, and Hatori glared at Kureno)

Hatori- Kureno...

Kureno- What? Why are you looking at me like that?

Hatori- Kureno, what did you do?

Kureno- What do you mean what I did? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Akito- Shigure...T.V...STRIPPED!

Kureno- What he said.

Hatori- Huh?

Akito- BRIEFS!

Kureno- YEAH! HE BLINDED ME!

Hatori- Who did?

Kureno- SHIGURE!

Akito- Can't see...can't see...

(Hatori helped Akito up, and then turned off the TV)

Hatori- Okay, now tell me the WHOLE story.

(Akito shook his head twice)

Kureno- Akito doesn't want to talk about it.

Hatori- Why? What was Shigure doing on the video?

Kureno- Stripping.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito's eyes were distant, and wide, and he was still twitching)

Kureno- Hatori, if you want to know how we feel, then why don't YOU watch it?

(Kureno walked over to the DVD player and popped out the DVD, Akito flinched, and backed away)

Kureno- Here, take it.

(Hatori took the DVD, sighed in annoyance, and walked out of the room)

Akito- It's evil...evil...

Kureno- It's gone now Akito-san.

Akito- EVIL!

(Two minutes later a loud scream came from Hatori's office)

Hatori- OH MY GOD!

Akito- SAVE HATORI! SAVE HATORI!

Kureno- Now he knows...

Hatori- IS THAT MY SHIRT?!

Kureno- Disgusting...

Akito- Save Hatori...

Kureno- Shigure even took Hatori's shirt for the "video!" THAT IS SO WRONG!

Akito- Save Hatori...

Hatori- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- Hope he's okay...

Hatori- WHERE IS THE REMOTE?! GAH! ARE THOSE BRIEFS?!

(Akito covered his ears)

Akito- PICTURES!

Kureno- The end of the video will surely scare him...

(From Hatori's office there was a loud crash)

Akito- IT KILLED HATORI!

Kureno- Let me go check on him...

(Akito grabbed Kureno's arm)

Akito- No, it's not safe!

Kureno- Oh, come on Akito, it's a DVD.

Akito- Yes, an EVIL DVD!

Kureno- Fine if you don't want me to go then I'll stay in here with you.

Akito- HURRAY!

(Phone rings)

Akito's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Kureno- I got it!

(Kureno answers phone)

Kureno- Hello?

Shigure- LOOSEN UP MY BUTTONS!

Kureno- What the hell?

(Akito tugged on Kureno's shirt)

Akito- (Whispering) Who is it Kureno?

Kureno- Hold on a sec. Akito, it's some wack job telling me to loosen up his buttons.

Akito- IT'S SHIGURE!

Kureno- Really? You think so? Hold on let me ask him. Hello? Wack job? Are you still there?

Shigure- Hello.

Kureno- Are you by any chance...Shigure Sohma?

Shigure- Shigure Sohma? I've never heard of him.

Kureno- Thanks man, hold on. Akito it's NOT Shigure.

Akito- How do you know?

Kureno- I asked him?

(Akito's eye began to twitch)

Akito- You ASKED him?

Kureno- Yes, and told me that he wasn't Shigure Sohma.

Akito- AND YOU'RE JUST GOING TO BELIEVE ANYTHING SOME DINKY PERSON TELLS YOU?!

Kureno- Good point, hold on. Hello?

Shigure- Hi.

Kureno- Are you a dinky person?

Shigure- No.

Kureno- Alright, hold on. AKITO HE SAID HE IS NOT A DINKY PERSON!

Akito- You are...I will...you...you...IDIOT!

Kureno- That's not very nice Akito.

(Akito picks up his lamp and throws it at Kureno, hitting his leg)

Kureno- OOW!! DON'T THROW THINGS AT ME!

Akito- YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET!

Kureno- Hold on, the wack job is saying something. Hello? What did you say?

Shigure- I said, that I would like to talk to Akito Sohma.

Kureno- Oh hold on. Akito he wants to talk to you.

Akito- No.

Kureno- Well what do I say?

Akito- Tell him I'm busy.

Kureno- Okay. Hello? Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but Akito Sohma isn't here right now.

Shigure- But I just heard you talking to him.

Kureno- One moment please. Akito he heard me talking to you! Now what do I say?

Akito- Tell him I'm not here.

Kureno- I already said that.

Akito- Say it again.

Kureno- Fine. Hello? I'm sorry sir, but Akito Sohma isn't here.

Shigure- I just heard him tell you to say that to me.

Kureno- No you didn't...

Shigure- Yes, I did.

Kureno- WELL HE ISN'T HERE!

Shigure- (Sigh) Fine, can I leave a message?

Kureno- Hold on. Akito, can he leave a message?

Akito- I don't care.

Kureno- Okay. Hello? Yes, Akito said- I mean yes, you can leave a message.

Shigure- Great, get a pen and paper.

(Kureno got a pen and paper, and began writing things down on the paper, then after awhile hung up the phone)

Kureno- This is for you.

(Kureno handed the piece of paper to Akito, then left the room, insisting he should go check on Hatori)

Akito- Wow this is a long letter.

Letter:

My Dearest Akito-san,

I miss you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much. I hope I get to see you really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, soon.

Love, The Wack Job.

Akito- What scares me the most is not that the letter is from Shigure, but that Kureno would write down so many o's and really's... I this is why mental institutions are made, just for people like Kureno.

LATER ON

--CheeseMan logs on--

--AyameIsTheGreatest logs on--

CheeseMan- Who in the hell-?

AyameIsTheGreatest- Hey there, YUN-YUN! ^_^

CheeseMan- Kakeru?

AyameIsTheGreatest- YEAH!

CheeseMan- Oh darn

AyameIsTheGreatest- Is my username cool or WHAT? ^_^

CheeseMan- No, it's actually-

--KimiIsPretty logs on--

AyameIsTheGreatest- Oh no! Not her!

KimiIsPretty- Hello, Yuki Senpai! Kimi missed you!

CheeseMan- Kimi, I saw you two hours ago.

KimiIsPretty- Isn't it such a long time? Kimi cannot stand to be away from you for such a long time!

AyameIsTheGreatest- If two hours is long to you, what will you do on weekends?

--MogetaFan logs on--

CheeseMan- MACHI?!

KimiIsPretty- Oh, great.

AyameIsTheGreatest- OH CRAP!

CheeseMan- Hello Mache! ^_^

MogetaFan- Oh, hi.

KimiIsPretty- Kimi doesn't want to be here anymore. Kimi is sad now.

--KimiIsPretty logs off--

AyameIsTheGreatest- YES!

--SnakeSkin logs on--

CheeseMan- God help us all.

SnakeSkin- Oh my, my, who is the person with the GLORIOUS username?

AyameIsTheGreatest- AYAME-KUN?!

SnakeSkin- It is I.

AyameIsTheGreatest- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OMG! OMG! OMG!

SnakeSkin- Yes, yes I know. ^_^

AyameIsTheGreatest- If I was in your presence, I would bow to you!

CheeseMan- You're kidding right?

AyameIsTheGreatest- NO WAY!

SnakeSkin- Tell me Yuki, how come you are not more like your friend?

CheeseMan- Because I know the REAL you.

AyameIsTheGreatest- I WILL BOW DOWN TO YOUR GREATNESS! I WILL BOW DOWN TO YOUR GREATNESS!

SnakeSkin- He is quite the charmer.

CheeseMan- Ugh. Machi are you still there?

MogetaFan- Unfortunately.

CheeseMan- Would you like to, go see a movie or something?

AyameIsTheGreatest and SnakeSkin- GASP!

MogetaFan- Sure, as long as it's far away from these two.

CheeseMan- Good. I'll pick you up later.

MogetaFan- Okay.

--CheeseMan logs off--

--MogetaFan logs off--

AyameIsTheGreatest- Are we going to spy on them.

SnakeSkin- OF COURSE WE ARE! ^_^

--SnakeSkin logs off--

--AyameIsTheGreatest logs off--

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I had gotten a request to put Manabe Kakeru into the story from an Anonymous reviewer named LOTR_junkie so that's what I did. So I hope if you are reviewing this (LOTR_junkie) you enjoyed it! Please read and review, and if you have any suggestions of things that you might want to happen, please let me know and I will try my best to add them into the story. (No guarantees though! ^_^) Thank you to all of my readers! ^_^ 


	16. Chapter 16: Hiding In The Closet

A/N: Okay so if this chapter sounds really familiar to you, it's not because I copied someone. My work is all my own! But my buddy, (I think his name is KyuubiOfLight or something like that) wrote this awesome Fruit's Basket Story and used MY ideas from THIS chapter for it. Okay sure, he has my permission because he is like family (and I love him and his stories. Please read them by the way ^_^) but I want everyone to know if you read his story, THIS IS WHERE THE IDEA CAME FROM!! NOT the other way around!! I AM THE FIRST SO BWAHAHA!

---

Chapter 16: Hiding In The Closet

THE NEXT DAY

Akito- I slept so good last night!

(Hatori walked in Akito's room)

Hatori- Akito, today is your lucky day.

Akito- It is?

Hatori- Yes, today is the day that your casts come off, and you don't have to use the wheelchair anymore, you can walk around now.

Akito- Oh, I see...(Evil grin)

(Hatori took off Akito's casts and helped him up from the wheelchair)

Hatori- Now, walk around for me.

(Akito walked around the room and smiled)

Akito- IT DOESN'T HURT ANYMORE! ^_^

Hatori- Good, now be careful and go walk around the estate for awhile.

(Akito dashed from the room)

(Akito's Phone began to ring)

Akito's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Hatori- Who could that be?

(Hatori answers the phone)

Hatori- Hello?

Shigure- Hello my buttercup! ^_^

Hatori- Huh?

Shigure- Oh, it's you Hatori.

Hatori- (Creeped out) Yeah...

Shigure- So, how is "The One Who Complains The Most" doing?

Hatori- Oh, Akito? He got off his wheelchair today.

Shigure- HE WHAT?!

Hatori- He doesn't have to use the wheelchair anymore, he can walk now. Just a few minutes ago he went rushing down the stairs in a hurry.

(Shigure hangs up phone)

Hatori- Huh, I wonder what's wrong with him?

2 SECONDS LATER

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- I HAVE TO SEND AN E-MAIL TO THEM!

(Shigure typed an e-mail and sent it to the whole zodiac, except Kureno and Hatori)

This is what the e-mail said-

EVERYBODY RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! BOARD UP YOUR HOUSES! AKITO IS OUT OF HIS WHEELCHAIR TODAY! AND HE IS PROBABLY ON HIS WAY TO OUR HOUSES RIGHT NOW! HURRY! HURRY! SAVE YOURSELVES! THIS IS NOT A LIE! THIS IS FOR REAL! IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE, BOARD UP YOUR HOUSES, AND HIDE! AKITO HAS MURDER ON HIS MIND, AND WE ARE ALL IN DANGER! LOTS, AND LOTS OF DANGER!

-Luvpuppy

--Luvpuppy logs off--

(Meanwhile, Kyo and Yuki had just logged onto their computers)

--CheeseMan logs on--

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- Hey, Yuki I got an e-mail from Shigure.

Yuki- So did I, it's coming in now, let s read it.

E-mail-

EVERYBODY RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! BOARD UP YOUR HOUSES! AKITO IS OUT OF HIS WHEELCHAIR TODAY! AND HE IS PROBABLY ON HIS WAY TO OUR HOUSES RIGHT NOW! HURRY! HURRY! SAVE YOURSELVES! THIS IS NOT A LIE! THIS IS FOR REAL! IF YOU WANT TO LIVE A HAPPY LIFE, BOARD UP YOUR HOUSES, AND HIDE! AKITO HAS MURDER ON HIS MIND, AND WE ARE ALL IN DANGER! LOTS, AND LOTS OF DANGER!

-Luvpuppy

CheeseMan and FishFan- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

--FishFan logs off--

CheeseMan- GOTTA SAVE HONDA-SAN!

--CheeseMan logs off--

(Everyone else got the e-mail, and locked up their houses)

BACK TO THE ESTATE

(Akito was about to leave the estate to go torment "His Zodiac" when he saw Ren about to walk down the stairs)

Akito- Humph, let s see how she likes it...

(Akito walked up behind Ren and pushed her with great force, causing her to fall, and then start rolling down the fights of stairs)

Ren- EEEEEEEEEEEK!!

Akito- HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?!

Ren- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! (CRASH!) AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AKITO!

Akito- HAHAHA! (Choke) BWAHAHA THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! HAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHA!

(Akito ran out the front door of the estate)

Akito- And now, to torture my stupid zodiac for abandoning me.

(Akito runs off laughing hysterically)

(Meanwhile, at Shigure's house, Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure had finished boarding up the house, and were wondering what to do next)

Tohru- Now, why are we doing this again Shigure-san?

Shigure- (Smiling) Because, we don't want to die.

Tohru- (Still confused) Oh...

Kyo- Why did we have to work so hard? What makes you think Akito is going to come HERE first?

Shigure- Trust me, he will come here first.

(Yuki and Kyo looked towards Shigure with fire in their eyes)

Yuki and Kyo- Shigure, what did you do?

Shigure- What do you mean? I didn't do a thing...

Yuki- CONFESS!!

Shigure- Well, okay, let s just say Akito-san didn't like the card THAT much...

Kyo- Huh? But you said-

Yuki- YOU SAID AKITO LOVED THE CARD! I KNEW YOU WERE LYING! I KNEW IT!

Tohru- Akito-san didn't like the card?

Shigure- Actually, he hated it...

Yuki- WHAT?!

Kyo- Shigure, WHAT DID YOU DO TO AKITO?!

Shigure- Let s just say-

Yuki- TELL US THE TRUTH SHIGURE!

Shigure- Okay, okay, I tortured Akito with the musical cards, and now that he is able to walk he is going to come here first to kill us all.

Yuki- We're gonna die...

Kyo- No we re not.

Yuki- Akito is going to kill us...

Kyo- You see Yuki, this is why cats are much smarter than rats. You see, SHIGURE tortured Akito.

Yuki- What are you driving at?

Kyo- Well, when Akito comes we just merely hand over what he wants.

Shigure- Hey, wait a minute there-

Yuki- I see, we give Akito, Shigure and in exchange we get our safety...hmmm...nice plan.

Shigure- Hold on!

(Kyo stood up and walked over to Shigure, and shook his hand)

Kyo- Nice knowing you Shigure.

(Shigure jumped up)

Shigure- Before I go away with Akito, I just have one thing to do.

(Shigure ran over to Tohru and hugged her, making himself transform into a dog, and then took off running)

Kyo- GET HIM!

Yuki- DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!

Tohru- Ummm...Kyo-kun? Yuki-kun? Are you guys okay?

(Yuki and Kyo were tripping over each other going down the hallway, in hot pursuit of Shigure)

Yuki and Kyo- WE'RE FINE!

Tohru- Okay...

Yuki- GRAB HIS TAIL!

Kyo- GET HIM! COME ON STUPID RAT, GRAB HIM!

Yuki- DON'T CALL ME STUPID, YOU OUTCAST!

Kyo- I'LL KILL YOU!

Yuki- OH REALLY?!

Kyo- YEAH!

(Suddenly everyone stopped fighting)

Kyo- Someone s at the door!

(Shigure transformed back into a human)

Shigure- IT'S AKITO! COME ON EVERYONE, HIDE IN THE CLOSET!

Yuki- Hurry, Honda-san.

Tohru- Yes, okay.

Kyo- I'm going to kill you after this Shigure...

(Everyone crammed into the closet)

Kyo- YOU'RE ON MY FOOT YUKI!

Yuki- I don't care.

Tohru- I know that this is totally off subject but, Shigure, are you still naked?

Shigure- What? How did you know?

Kyo- AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!

Tohru- Well Shigure, you're back is up against me.

Shigure- Oh, dear.

Kyo- YUCK! YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME SHIGURE, GET AWAY!

Yuki- Shigure, if you touch me, I'll kill you.

Shigure- That's nice to know.

Kyo- YUKI! QUIT PUSHING ME TOWARDS SHIGURE!

Yuki- I want to talk to Honda-san, and your ass is in my face.

Kyo- I don't care.

Yuki- Then you also won't care if I push you into a certain part of Shigure that you don't want to touch.

Kyo- DON'T! STOP IT!

Tohru- I hear something...

(Meanwhile outside Shigure's house, Akito pounds on the front door)

Akito- OPEN UP YOU FOOLS! OPEN THE DOOR!

(Akito waits for a few moments)

Akito- I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE SHIGURE! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME!

(Akito presses his ear to the wall, and hears everyone's conversation)

Kyo- YUKI GET OFF MY FOOT!

Shigure- We are all going to die.

Yuki- SHUT UP! AKITO IS OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW, AND IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP WE WILL BE FOUND!

Tohru- Please don't fight...

Kyo- DAMMIT YUKI, SEE WHAT YOU DID? NOW TOHRU IS MAD!

Yuki- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HONDA-SAN!

Shigure- And in my will, I leave my romance novels to Aaya, my house to Hatori, anything that I have that involves cooking to Tohru-kun, and I give absolutely nothing to Yuki and Kyo, who in a few minutes will be the cause of my death.

Tohru- Kyo-kun, is that you leaning on me?

Kyo- Huh? Oh yeah, at least I think so.

Yuki- (Gasp) I THOUGHT I WAS LEANING ON HONDA-SAN!

Shigure- Yuki, you're on me.

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(Akito took his ear off the wall and shook his head)

Akito- Such idiots! I can hear them all the way from out here!

Akito- SHIGURE LET ME IN! UNLOCK THE STUPID ASS DOOR THIS INSTANT!

Akito- IF YOU RE NOT COMING OUT! I'M COMING IN!

(Akito walked around the house for a moment, and found a window)

Akito- AHA!

(With much struggling, Akito jumped through the window)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAH! (CRASH!)

Akito- Which room am I in?

(Akito looks around, and sees piles of romance novels)

Akito- Oh, god I'm in Shigure's room.

Akito- This place is such a mess! WAH!

(Akito trips over a pile of books and goes crashing down)

Akito- What is this?

(Akito picks up a photo of himself holding a blue card, sleeping)

Akito- GAAAAAAH! I WILL KILL SHIGURE! I WILL!

(Akito ripped the picture up)

Akito- HA!

(Akito finally made it out of the disaster of Shigure's room and began walking down the hallway)

Akito- WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU HIDING? COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!

Shigure- THAT'S AKITO'S VOICE! HE'S IN THE HOUSE!

Yuki- WHAT?!

(Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo jumped, and fell into Tohru causing them to transform)

Yuki- This is your fault Kyo.

Kyo- MY FAULT?

Shigure- EVERYONE SHUT IT!

Tohru- I'm sorry...

Kyo- Where is Yuki? I'm gonna kill him!

Tohru- Kyo stop.

(Tohru picked Kyo up, and pulled him onto her lap)

Yuki- I WANT TO SIT ON HONDA-SAN'S LAP!

Kyo- HAHAHA!

Shigure- (Whispering) If we live through this, I'm going to kill EVERYONE but Tohru!

Kyo- Fine, I'll be quiet if Yuki is quiet.

Tohru- Yuki?

Yuki- Fine, but only for you Honda-san.

Tohru- Thank you Yuki-kun.

(Suddenly, Yuki, Kyo, and Shigure transformed back into humans, Kyo was practically on top of Tohru)

Tohru- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- GET OFF OF HONDA-SAN YOU SCUM!

Shigure- So much for being quiet...

(Kyo moved)

Kyo- Sorry Tohru, I forgot.

Tohru- I...I under...stand...

Yuki- I should kill you.

Kyo- COME OVER HERE AND TRY IT DAMN RAT!

Tohru- NO! Nobody move, please...I'm begging you...

Yuki- Oh, right sorry Honda-san.

Shigure- I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die.

Tohru- Kyo, is that your arm?

Kyo- No that's my thigh.

Tohru- OH MY!

Yuki- YOU WORTHLEST PERVERT! I'M COMING OVER THERE!

(Yuki tried to climb over Tohru to get to Kyo)

Tohru- YUKI SIT! SIT! PLEASE DON'T MOVE AROUND!

Shigure- Tohru, you might as well enjoy three naked men while you can, because if Yuki and Kyo don't shut up we'll all die very soon.

Tohru- Huh?

Kyo- SIT DOWN YUKI! YOU'RE SCARING TOHRU!

(Kyo pushed Yuki attempting to push him away from Tohru, but ended up pushing Yuki's face into Tohru's, making them kiss)

(And also at that very moment Shigure placed a hand on Tohru's shoulder thinking it was Yuki's)

Shigure- Now, stop fighting.

(Akito came to the front of the closet and heard voices)

Akito- So they're in there!

(Akito rattled the door and caused a blanket in the closet to fall on top of Kyo, Yuki, Tohru, and Shigure, and of course taking the opportunity to kiss Tohru longer, Yuki kept his mouth where it was, then Akito swung open the door)

Akito- FOUND YOU! Oh, shit! I'm sorry!

(Akito slammed the door shut)

Akito- WAIT A MINUTE!

(Akito opened the door again, and screamed)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Everyone jumped and looked up at the face of the horrified Akito)

Shigure- Hello Akito-san! ^_^

Akito- ...........

Kyo- Oh, great...

(Yuki stopped kissing Tohru and looked up at Akito too)

Yuki- Uh...

Akito- WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON IN HERE!

Shigure- Nothing...

Akito- (Gasp) A FOURSOME?! GROSS! YUCK!

Kyo- NO WAY!

Yuki- Akito, we TRANSFORMED.

Akito- Then how does that explain Kyo behind Tohru, Yuki kissing Tohru, and Shigure leaning over everyone? Oh, and not to mention you are all NAKED!

Kyo- YUKI DID WHAT TO TOHRU?!

Akito- YOU ARE ALL SICK! I HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING SO DISGUSTING!

(Shigure smiled and put hair in front of his eye, as if to look like Hatori and then winked at Akito)

Akito- I DIDN'T DO THAT! I FELL ON HIM!

(Everyone looked at Akito)

Yuki- Why did you just suddenly scream?

(Shigure fixed his hair and smiled)

Shigure- Yeah why did you just scream for no reason?

Akito- SHUT UP! I AM THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY! I CAN SCREAM IF I WANT TO! YOU GUYS ON THE OTHER HAND HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK OR SCREAM!

Kyo- Okay...

Akito- SHUT UP!

Tohru- I am so sorry Akito-san, really they transformed...

Akito- SHUT UP YOU! I DON'T WANT TO EVEN LOOK AT YOU TOHRU HONDA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS WITH MY ZODIAC!

Tohru- But I didn't-

Akito- YOU'RE WORSE THEN THAT WOMAN! SHE ONLY TAKES ONE MAN AT A TIME, AND LOOK AT YOU, YOU TOOK THREE! AND IN A CLOSET OF ALL PLACES! A CLOSET! HOW DISGUSTING!

(Kyo stood up)

Kyo- STOP TALKING TO TOHRU LIKE THAT!

(Akito sighed and looked away, and Shigure laughed)

Akito- Kyo, you're not very intimidating when you're naked...

(Kyo sat down)

Kyo- Right...

(Shigure stood up)

Shigure- Come with me Akito, let s talk.

Akito- Oh god.

(Shigure walked Akito out of the room and into the living room)

Shigure- Seriously Akito, nothing was going on in the closet.

Akito- We will have this conversation when you put some clothes on, Shigure.

Shigure- But naked is fun! ^_^

Akito- Put some pants on, or I'm going to scream.

Shigure- Fine, fine.

(Shigure picked up a pair of pants that were lying on the floor and put them on)

Shigure- Better?

Akito- Yes, thank you.

Shigure- Now what do you want to talk about?

Akito- ABOUT HOW I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Shigure- Oh dear...

Akito- YOU BETTER START RUNNING!

Shigure- No thanks, I already did a lot of running today, I'm tired.

Akito- NO YOU'RE NOT!

Shigure- Yes I am.

Akito- NO! START RUNNING!

Shigure- I'm right here, if you need to kill me, then do it.

(Akito raised a fist)

Akito- I WILL!

Shigure- Okay, do it.

Akito- RUN FIRST!

Shigure- No.

Akito- (Sigh) I don't feel like killing anybody unless they're running away from me.

Shigure- Then you must want to kill people a lot, because you're scary, I bet a lot of people run away from you.

Akito- WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Shigure- Oh, so you're deaf now?

Akito- I'LL KILL YOU!

Shigure- Then do it.

Akito- I WILL!

Shigure- Okay, do it.

Akito- RUN FIRST!

Shigure- No.

Akito- Shut up, I hate you.

Shigure- I hate you too.

Akito- WHAT?! I WAS KIDDING! You really hate me?

Shigure- No, Akito.

Akito- WELL SUCKS FOR YOU, CAUSE I HATE YOU!

Shigure- I hate you too.

Akito- WHAT?!

Shigure- You can't take a joke.

Akito- I CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, CAUSE YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!

Shigure- Yes I am.

Akito- NO YOU'RE NOT!

Shigure- Yes I am.

Akito- YOU ARE NOT FUNNY! Wait, what were we talking about?

Shigure- I don't know...

Akito- YOU'RE LYING!

Shigure- No I'm not.

Akito- YES YOU ARE!

Shigure- Do you even wonder what Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo are doing?

Akito- THAT'S WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT! Wait what?

Shigure- I said, DON'T YOU WONDER WHAT KYO, YUKI, AND TOHRU ARE DOING!

Akito- OMG! WE LEFT THEM ALL ALONE IN THE CLOSET!

Shigure- Really?! You think so?!

Akito- SHUT UP! QUIT MAKING FUN OF ME! WE HAVE TO GO SEE WHAT HAPPENED!

Shigure- Then go.

Akito- WHAT IF I DON'T WANT TO?!

Shigure- Then don't go.

Akito- WHAT IF I WANT TO GO?!

Shigure- Then go.

Akito- I'm staying here.

Shigure- Fine.

(Meanwhile in the closet)

Kyo- YUKI! I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU KISSED TOHRU!

Yuki- AND IF I DID?!

Kyo- I'LL KILL YOU!

Tohru- I don't want to sound demanding, but could you two please put on your clothes?

Kyo- YEAH! YUKI PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR NAKED ASS!

Yuki- OH, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HONDA-SAN WANTS TO SEE YOURS?!

Kyo- UNLIKE YOUR ASS, MY ASS IS PRETTY!

Tohru- Huh?

Yuki- THAT'S GROSS! YOU ADMIRE YOUR OWN BUTT?!

Kyo- AND IF I DO?!

Yuki- DISGUSTING!

(Tohru sat in the closet, with her eyes covered)

Tohru- Are you still naked Kyo?

Kyo- YES!

Tohru- Uh...

Yuki- PUT CLOTHES ON KYO!

Kyo- YOU PUT CLOTHES ON FIRST!

Yuki- NO YOU!

Tohru- Someone get dressed please...

Kyo- PUT ON SOME FREAKING CLOTHES!

Yuki- NOT BEFORE YOU DO!

(Tohru begins to cry)

Kyo- LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO TOHRU! YOU MADE HER CRY YUKI!

Yuki- ME?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO IS REFUSING TO PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!

Kyo- YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING!

(Yuki sat down next to Tohru)

Yuki- I'm sorry Kyo is being such an ass Honda-san, can I comfort you?

Kyo- DON'T TOUCH HER, YOU NAKED FIEND!

Yuki- You're one to talk!

Tohru- I'll let both of you comfort me, when you're clothed.

Kyo- I'M PUTTING MY CLOTHES ON FIRST!

Yuki- NO YOU'RE NOT!

(Yuki and Kyo began racing to put their clothes on, while shoving each other into the wall, making horrible sounds)

(Back to Shigure and Akito)

Shigure- I hear a lot of banging, they must be having fun.

Akito- WHAT?! NO!

Shigure- Might wanna go see what's happening.

Akito- I DON'T HAVE TO! I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY DO!

(There was a loud bang from the closet)

Shigure- Yes you do.

Akito- I DO NOT!

Shigure- Uh huh.

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- (Gasp) A THREESOME!!

Shigure- Probably...(giggle)

Akito- No way, Yuki would never do that...

(There was another bang from the closet, and Kyo's voice was heard from the back of the room)

Kyo- YES! (Kyo beat Yuki at putting his clothes on first)

Akito- ACK! WHAT ARE THEY DOING!

Tohru- That was fast!

Shigure- Finished already? (giggle, giggle, laugh)

Akito- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Kyo- I should do that again sometime!

Tohru- That was wonderful Kyo! Yuki you did a good job too.

Yuki- I guess so...

(Akito put his hand to his forehead)

Akito- I feel faint...

Shigure- Hmm...now what are they doing?

(Yuki and Kyo began racing to go comfort Tohru)

Kyo- I'M GETTING TO TOHRU FIRST!

Yuki- KYO, HONDA-SAN SAID WE BOTH COULD!

(There was another bang from the closet)

Shigure- Again?! THEY'RE ANIMALS! ^_^

Akito- (Fainting) Oh!

(Akito fainted)

Shigure- Oh dear...

(Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru came out from the other room)

Tohru- (Gasp) What happened to Akito-san?!

Shigure- He felt a little sick...hehe... ^_^

Yuki- Shigure what did you do?

Tohru- We should lay him down in a bed, and call Hatori!

Shigure- Okay, I'll make a spot for Akito to lie down, Tohru would you mind calling Hatori?

Tohru- OF COURSE I DON'T! I'LL DO IT RIGHT AWAY!

(Tohru ran to call Hatori)

Kyo- So what are we going to do about Akito?

Yuki- I never really thought Akito would ever faint...

Shigure- He probably has a fever.

(Tohru came rushing back with a damp cloth and a pillow)

Tohru- I called Hatori-san, and he's on his way right now.

Shigure- Good job Tohru.

(Shigure picked Akito up and moved him in Tohru's room)

Shigure- Is it okay if we make Akito's bed in here Tohru?

(Yuki went into his room and locked the door)

Tohru- Sure Shigure, that's fine.

(Shigure set Akito down, and there was a knock on the door)

Shigure- That must be Hatori.

Kyo- That was quick...

(Shigure answered the door to see Hatori standing in the open doorway)

Shigure- Ah, you're here right on time.

Hatori- Where is he?

(Hatori followed Shigure into Tohru's room where Akito was laying on the floor tossing and turning)

Akito- Uh...Kill Tohru Honda...

(Hatori bent down and pulled out a stethoscope)

Hatori- Tell me Shigure, how exactly did Akito faint?

Shigure- Uh, well...

Hatori- He has a high fever.

Shigure- What do you want me to do?

(Hatori gave Shigure a stern look)

Hatori- The only thing I want you to do is leave Akito alone, I want Tohru to take care of Akito, I don't trust you Shigure.

Shigure- That's...nice to know...

Tohru- Wait, you mean Akito-san is staying here?!

(There was a loud crash from the kitchen)

Kyo- WHAT?!

(Then Yuki came out of his room)

Yuki- NO!

Shigure- Kyo! Stop breaking things in my house!

Hatori- Yuki, Kyo, Akito has to stay here. Otherwise, his fever will get worse.

Yuki- I'm gonna die...

Kyo- I'm in hell...

Shigure- Come now you two, Tohru will be taking care of Akito.

Yuki and Kyo- WHAT?! NO WAY!

Shigure- Then I will! ^_^

Hatori- No you won't.

Shigure- (Sniff) Okay...

Hatori- Yuki, Kyo, Akito WILL be staying here, If it's okay with Tohru, I would highly appreciate it if she would take care of Akito while he's sick.

Yuki- Don't do it Honda-san!

Kyo- Tohru...

Tohru- That's fine with me. ^_^

Yuki- (Fainting) Uh!

(Yuki fainted)

Kyo- OH THAT LITTLE FAKER!

(Hatori bent down and checked Yuki)

Hatori- He has a fever too.

Shigure- Oh great!

(Tohru bent down next to Yuki)

Tohru- Oh, Yuki!

(Kyo rubbed his head)

Kyo- Hmm, I think I'm sick too...

(Tohru jumped up)

Tohru- Oh, Kyo-kun, not you too!

(Hatori walked up to Kyo and felt his head)

Hatori- Kyo you're fine.

(Kyo clenched his fist)

Kyo- HATORI YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!

Hatori- Anyway, Tohru please take good care of Akito, Shigure you take care of Yuki. I will come check on both of them tomorrow. I would stay, but I have very important business to attend to.

Tohru- Okay! You can count on me! ^_^

A/N: Jeez this chapter is SO long! I hoped you enjoyed it though. (This is another one of my favorites ^_^) Please read and review, and I will update as soon as possible. Sorry it took so long to get out. CharlieBrownLover21 out! Love ya'll! ^_^ 


	17. Chapter 17: Total Chaos

**A/N: Omg, I am so sorry. I have been so sick the past few days I haven't been able to update ANYTHING! Thank you to all of my readers who have waited patiently for this next chapter. Sorry for the hold-up. I do not own Furuba. ENJOY! ^_^**

**---**

Chapter 17- Total Chaos

THE NEXT MORNING

Akito- Mmm...my head hurts...

Tohru- Don't worry Akito-san, I'll take care of you.

Akito- Hmm? Tohru Honda?

Tohru- Mm-hm. ^_^

Akito- Good morning Toh- TOHRU HONDA?!

Tohru- Good morning! ^_^

(Akito jumped up)

Akito- What? Where am I? What are you- oh!

(Akito toppled back down to the ground)

Tohru- AKITO-SAN! ARE YOU OKAY?! You shouldn't try to get up! You're very sick!

Akito- Uh...where is Hatori? I demand to know!

Tohru- He went back to his office.

Akito- Where am I?

Tohru- Shigure-san's house! ^_^

(Shigure poked his head in the room)

Shigure- HELLO AKITO-SAN!!!!! ^_^

Akito- Oh, kill me now!

Tohru- Akito-san I made you breakfast!

Akito- I don't want breakfast! What I want is to go home!

Tohru- But Akito-san-

Akito- QUIT CALLING ME AKITO-SAN LIKE WE'RE FAST FRIENDS, CAUSE WE'RE NOT!!

Tohru- Oh, sorry...Akito...

Akito- I'm leaving right now!

(Akito tried to stand, but couldn't)

Akito- What is wrong with my legs?!

Tohru- Akito, you're very sick.

(Shigure nodded)

Shigure- Very. ^_^

Akito- What are you smiling about Shigure?

Shigure- You were so funny yesterday! ^_^

(Shigure walked out of the room)

(Akito became nervous)

Akito- WHAT?! WHAT DID I DO THAT WAS SO FUNNY?!

Tohru- You fainted. ^_^

Akito- I FAINTED?! NOW WHY WOULD I- OH YEAH!! YOU SLEPT WITH HALF OF MY ZODIAC!!!!!

Tohru- Akito, really, I swear I didn't-

Akito- I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES TOHRU HONDA!!!

Tohru- But I'm telling the truth!

Akito- NO YOU'RE NOT! Now I want to go home.

Tohru- But Hatori says that you have to stay here until you get better...

Akito- LIES! THEY'RE ALL LIES!!! GIMMIE THE PHONE! I'M CALLING HATORI!!

Tohru- Uh, okay...

(Tohru gets the phone for Akito and Akito snatches it away)

Akito- Give me that!

(Akito calls Hatori)

PHONE CALL

Hatori's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Hatori- That must be Akito...

(Hatori answers phone)

Hatori- Hello?

Akito- Thank goodness! Hatori come and get me from this dreadful place!

Hatori- No, Akito, you're sick.

Akito- So? I WANNA GO HOME! I'LL REST THERE!

Hatori- If we move you around, you'll get even sicker, besides, Tohru's taking care of you.

Akito- What?! No! She is not! Hatori, don't make me stay here!

Hatori- As soon as you're better, you can come home.

Akito- BUT I AM BETTER!! (Cough, cough, choke)

Hatori- Right...

Akito- HA-TOR-I! HELP!

Hatori- Be good Akito, I'll come check on you later.

Akito- Wait-

(Hatori hangs up)

Akito- RAAAAAAAH!

Tohru- What did Hatori-san say?

Akito- He said to take me home this instant!!

Tohru- Akito-san, you're funny! ^_^

Akito- HOW IS THAT FUNNY?!

Tohru- Are you thirsty Akito?

(Akito lays back)

Akito- I'm in hell...

(Kyo walks in)

Kyo- YOU'RE IN HELL?! HA! THERE'S NO WAY!!!

(Yuki's voice was heard from the other room)

Yuki- Honda-san? I don't feel too good...

(Tohru jumped up)

Tohru- I'm coming! ^_^

Kyo- WHAT?! HE'S A FAKER!! DON'T LISTEN TOHRU!!!

Yuki- I feel dizzy...

(Tohru rushed from the room)

Kyo- When he gets better; I'm going to kill him...

(Akito stood up and stumbled out of the room)

Kyo- Where are you going?

Akito- HOME!!

(Right when Akito was about to leave the room, Shigure stopped him in the hallway)

Shigure- Where do you think you're going?

Akito- Uh...

(Shigure picked Akito up, and carried him back into the room)

Akito- AGH! PUT ME DOWN! I COMMAND YOU! STOP! LET ME GO!

(Shigure set Akito back in Tohru's room)

Akito- YOU ARE PURE EVIL!

Shigure- As are you.

Kyo- I'm going to kill Yuki now.

(Kyo walks out of the room)

Shigure- Okay, be good! ^_^

Akito- WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Shigure- For you to go back to sleep.

Akito- NEVER!

Shigure- Hatori told me if you rest, he will bring your favorite food later.

Akito- I am kind of tired...

Shigure- Good. ^_^

(Akito lies down, and Shigure leaves the room)

(Two minutes later Akito opened his eyes and stood up)

Akito- I can eat my favorite food when I go home!

(Akito walked over to the window)

Akito- Obviously, I won't be able to escape through the front door, so...

(Akito took up the last of his strength to get out of the window)

Akito- AAH! (CRASH) That hurt...

Shigure- Hello Akito. ^_^

Akito- AGH!

MEANWHILE

(Tohru sat with Yuki in his room)

Tohru- Is that Akito I hear?

Yuki- I think so...

(Akito's voice could be heard from outside)

Akito- PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!!

Shigure- No.

Akito- HELP! MURDER! MURDER!

Shigure- You have to rest.

Akito- LET ME GO! SOMEBODY HELP ME!

Tohru- I wonder what happened...

Yuki- I don't know...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- You're making a scene Akito.

Akito- THEN PUT ME DOWN!!

Shigure- Okay.

(There was another crash from outside)

Akito- OW!

Shigure- Well, you said-

Akito- THAT HURT YOU IDIOT!!!!

Shigure- Stop screaming!

Akito- NEVER!! MURDER!! HELP!! Umhuhmhmumh! Muhmumghmumm!

Tohru- Oh my...

Yuki- If you weren't here Honda-san, I WOULD be in hell.

(Tohru and Yuki then heard Kyo's voice from outside)

Kyo- SHIGURE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!!

Shigure- Making Akito be quiet.

Akito- UMUMUMMUHMHHMH! (CRUNCH)

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- GROSS!!! DON'T EVER, EVER, EVER PUT YOUR DIRTY HAND OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN!!

Kyo- Akito, some people are looking at you.

Akito- I DON'T CARE! HEY YOU OVER THERE! HELP ME! THIS GUY IS KIDNAPPI-mumhmumhmhmuu! Mmmmgfuhuuffhhl!

Shigure- HURRY AND GET HIM INSIDE!! Oh, there's nothing to see here! Hahaha! He plays like this all the time! HURRY KYO, HELP ME!

Kyo- Uh, okay...

(Kyo opened the front door and Shigure dragged Akito inside)

Shigure- STAY IN YOUR ROOM!

Akito- LET GO OF ME!

(Shigure put Akito in Tohru's room and then went out and locked the door)

Akito- I'm gonna get out of here some way...

(Shigure walked outside and nailed shut the window from the outside)

Akito- WHAT ARE YOU DOING SHIGURE!

Shigure- Making sure you get some rest.

Akito- BUT THIS ISN'T A PRISON!

Shigure- It is now.

Akito- YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I AM THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY!

Shigure- Yeah, yeah, and I'm Shigure nice to meet you.

Akito- I WILL SCREAM!

Shigure- Then do it. It will only make you sicker, which will only make you have to stay here longer.

Akito- I DON'T CARE!

Shigure- Okay, Akito. I'll tell you what, if I brought that stupid peanut butter loving Kureno here to visit you, will you shut up and get some rest?

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- Yes.

Shigure- Well then what do- Wait did you say YES?!

Akito- Yes.

Shigure- (Sigh) Fine, I'll go get the phone.

Akito- NO I WANT TO CALL HIM!

Shigure- Will that make you be quiet too?

Akito- Yes! ^_^

Shigure- Fine!

(Shigure brought Akito the phone)

Akito- Thank you!

(Akito calls Kureno)

Kureno's cell phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

(At that very moment Kureno was out with Arisa, and also at that very moment they were kissing)

Arisa- Who is that?

Kureno- Hmm? Oh just leave it.

(Kureno didn't answer the phone)

Akito- WHAT IS HIS PROBLEM?! HE DIDN'T ANSWER!

(Akito calls Kureno back)

Kureno's cell phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Arisa- Are you sure it's not an important call Kureno?

Kureno- I really don't care, I just want to be with you Arisa.

Arisa- Well I'm going to answer it.

(Arisa answers the phone)

Arisa- Hello?

Akito- Kureno? It's about time you answered the phone! HELP ME! I NEED HELP!

Arisa- Who is this?

Akito- Well who are you?

Arisa- I'm Arisa Uotani.

Akito- Oh sorry wrong number.

Arisa- That's okay.

Akito- Wait, is Kureno there?

Arisa- Uh yeah why?

Akito- Wait, why do you have Kureno's cell phone?

Arisa- Well who are you?

Akito- I'm Akito, the head of the Sohma family.

Arisa- Oh, well I'm Arisa, Kureno's girlfriend, nice to meet you Akito.

(Kureno was listening)

Kureno- (Whispering) Oh crap...

Akito- WHAT?! LET ME SPEAK TO KURENO THIS INSTANT!!!

Kureno- So, who is it Arisa?

(Arisa hands the phone to Kureno)

Arisa- Some wack job yelling in my ear.

Akito- WACK JOB?! HOW DARE SHE CALL ME A WACK JOB! WHO IS THAT ANYWAY?! KURENO?!

(Kureno reluctantly took the phone)

Kureno- Hello?

Akito- Kureno?

Kureno- Yes.

Akito- WHO IS THAT GIRL?!

Kureno- Uh...

Akito- WHO?! TELL ME WHO!

Arisa- Why is a man calling you Kureno?

Akito- KURENO, ANSWER ME!

Kureno- I thought I told you, I didn't want to buy car insurance! Good-bye!

Akito- Wait what are you talking-

(Kureno hangs up)

Akito- (In shock) K-Kureno? Are you betraying me?! (Gasp) KURENO?!

Phone Line- Beep-Beep-Beep

Akito- Hello?! Kureno? KURENO?! HE HUNG UP ON ME!!! AAAH!

(Akito chucked the phone at the door)

Akito- I HATE HIM!!!

(Right when the phone was about to hit the door, Kyo walked in and the phone hit him instead)

Kyo- Hey, Akito, Shigure told me to bring you your dinner, so- GAH!

(Kyo went down with a crash)

Akito- OH! I'M SORRY! I WAS AIMING FOR THE DOOR!!

Kyo- MY ANKLE! I TWISTED MY ANKLE! IT HURTS!! IT HURTS!

(Tohru came rushing into the hallway)

Tohru- KYO-KUN! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Kyo- THAT PERSON...!

(Kyo pointed to Akito)

Kyo- THREW A PHONE...!

(Kyo pointed to the phone)

Kyo- AT ME, AND I WENT CRASHING DOWN AND I HURT MY ANKLE!!!!

Tohru- Oh no!

(Tohru wrapped Kyo's ankle, and helped him to his room)

Kyo- Stupid Akito...

Akito- I HEARD THAT!

(Since Akito didn't get to see Kureno, or get his favorite food that night he complained, and whined because Shigure still kept him locked in Tohru's room. After awhile he got so bored he made a song and began to sing it non-stop)

Akito's song-

I am Akito, Head of the Family, and I am bored.

Shigure is a meanie, I'm locked in a prison, and I am bored.

Tohru Honda is a witch, Kureno is a traitor, and I am bored.

CHORUS-

I hate Kureno, and I want to punch him, nobody cares about Akito, and I am bored!

Lalalalalalalalalalalalala, I'm in hell, AND I AM BORED!

I am Akito, Head of the Family, and I am bored.

Shigure is a meanie, I'm locked in a prison, and I am bored.

Tohru Honda is a witch, Kureno is a traitor, and I am bored.

(Akito was becoming annoyed)

Akito- SHIGURE! IF YOU DON'T LET ME OUT, I SWEAR TO YOU I'LL MAKE ANOTHER VERSE!

Shigure- Stay in there Akito.

Akito- Fine! I warned you!

Akito's song-

Noooooooooobody caaaaaaaaares!

My head hurts, I hate Shigure, and I am bored.

Shigure will never get a hug from me again, and I am bored.

CHORUS

I hate Kureno, and I want to punch him, nobody cares about Akito, and I am bored!

Lalalalalalalalalalalalala, I'm in hell, AND I AM BORED!

Sooooooommmmmmeboooooody heeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllp!

Nobody loves me, I'm hungry, and I am bored.

Hatori abandoned me, I'm cold, and I am bored.

Shigure- SHUT UP AKITO!!!

Akito- THEN LET ME OUT OF HERE!!

Shigure- NO! YOU HAVE TO REST!

Akito- LET ME OUT AND I WILL REST!!

Shigure- AKITO IT'S 12:00AM, GO TO SLEEP!

Akito- This is Tohru's room isn't it?

Shigure- Yes.

Akito- So isn't she coming back in here to sleep?

Shigure- No Akito. Why would I put her in a room with you?

Akito- I TAKE THAT AS AN INSULT!

Shigure- It is.

Akito- WHY I OUTTA-

Kyo- SHUT UP! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!

Akito- DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP KYO! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! I WILL SCREAM AND SCREAM UNLESS-

Shigure- If I let Tohru sleep in there with you, will you shut up?

Akito- Maybe.

Kyo- HELL WILL FREEZE OVER BEFORE I LET THAT HAPPEN!

Yuki- NO WAY!

Shigure- Tohru, do you mind have Akito as your room mate?

Tohru- No. ^_^

Kyo- TOHRU!

Yuki- HONDA-SAN!

(Tohru was about to come into her room, when Kyo and Yuki both got out of bed and grabbed her)

Kyo- No way are you sleeping in the same room as Akito.

Yuki- I agree. It's too dangerous.

Tohru- But-

Yuki- You're NOT going by yourself.

Kyo- If you want to sleep in there, we're coming in there with you.

Tohru- Okay. ^_^

Shigure- Just don't do anything NAUGHTY Kyo. ^_^

Kyo- LIKE I WOULD! I'M NOT YOU!

Shigure- You either Yuki.

Yuki- Don't EVER put me on your level.

(Kyo tried to open the door, but something felt like it was blocking it from the inside)

Yuki- Open the door Kyo.

Kyo- It won't open!

Yuki- Move.

(Yuki gave the door a large push and the door hit something)

Akito- AGH!

(Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo walked in to see Akito sprawled across the floor holding his nose)

Akito- WHO'S BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO HIT ME WITH THE DOOR?!

Tohru- Oh dear...

Kyo- That's what you get for listening in on the conversation.

Akito- WHY YOU!

Tohru- Calm down Akito-san it was an accident!

Akito- I'm sure.

Yuki- Honda-san and I are going to sleep on bed; Kyo, you and Akito can sleep on the floor.

Tohru- Okay. ^_^

Kyo- WHAT?! NO WAY!

Yuki- (Sigh) Well do you have a better idea?

Kyo- YES! MUCH BETTER! YOU and Akito can sleep on whatever part of the floor you want, and Tohru and I will sleep on the bed.

Tohru- Okay. ^_^

Yuki- NO!

Akito- This is boring.

(Shigure walks in)

Shigure- EVERYONE LISTEN!!

(Everyone jumped)

Tohru- What is it Shigure?

Shigure- I have an idea that is better than both of yours

(Akito was becoming nervous)

Akito- Shigure why do YOU have a pillow?

Shigure- Here it is. Akito and I will sleep behind the right side of the bed, Tohru will sleep on the bed, and Yuki and Kyo will sleep behind the left side of Tohru's bed.

(Akito's eyes began to twitch)

Akito- No...way...

(Yuki pointed to Kyo and Kyo pointed to Yuki)

Yuki and Kyo- YOU MEAN I HAVE TO SLEEP WITH THIS GUY?! HELL NO!

Shigure- For Tohru?

(Yuki and Kyo were quiet for a moment)

Yuki and Kyo- (Sigh) For Tohru...

Kyo- BUT THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M DOING IT FOR YUKI!

Yuki- Same here. I'm doing it for Honda-san.

(Yuki and Kyo went behind the left side of the bed, Tohru went on the bed and Shigure plopped down next to Akito, who was backing away)

Akito- You know Shigure, I really don't want to give you my cold, so maybe you should go to a different side of the bed...

Shigure- You wanted company, you got it.

Akito- FINE! JUST STAY FAR AWAY FROM ME!

(Shigure shrugged)

Shigure- Okay.

Tohru- Goodnight everyone! ^_^

Shigure- Goodnight Tohru-kun!

Kyo- Goodnight Tohru.

Yuki- Sleep well Honda-san.

Akito- Yeah, yeah.

Shigure- Goodnight Akito-san!

Akito- Gag me!

(Tohru turned out the lights)

2 HOURS LATER

(Kyo woke up to see that Yuki wasn't next to him)

Kyo- Now's my chance...

(Kyo quietly stepped over Akito and Shigure and walked over to Tohru's bed and put his hand on what he thought was Tohru's side)

Kyo- My beautiful Tohru...

(The blankets moved to expose Yuki's face)

Yuki- What the hell?!

(Kyo jumped back, but caught himself before he tripped over Akito)

Kyo- WHAT ARE-?!

(Kyo remembered that everyone was asleep so he lowered his voice to a whisper)

Kyo- (Whispering) YUKI! WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN TOHRU'S BED?!

Yuki- (Whispering) BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO TRY TO GET IN HONDA-SAN'S BED!

Kyo- (Whispering) I WAS NOT!

Yuki- Oh really? Then why do you have a pillow with you?

Kyo- Umm...it's for Tohru...

Yuki- She already has three pillows.

Kyo- One more couldn't hurt...

Yuki- (Whispering) YOU'RE LYING!

Kyo- (Yelling) AM NOT!

(Tohru moved around in her sleep a bit)

Yuki- (Whispering) SHUT UP! YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE UP HONDA-SAN!

Kyo- Then move, because I'm sleeping here.

Yuki- No way, go back to your side of the bed!

(Kyo attempted to push Yuki out of the bed but Yuki pushed Kyo and himself onto Tohru, making them both transform)

Kyo- LOOK WHAT YOU DID!

Yuki- YOU STARTED IT!

Kyo- HA! AT LEAST I'M BIG ENOUGH FOR HER TO HUG IN HER SLEEP!

(Kyo crawled into Tohru's arms)

Yuki- I hope she squeezes you to death...

(With Yuki on one side, and Kyo on the other they both went to sleep, but not before Kyo got the last word in)

Kyo- I hope she rolls over and squishes you...

(Hearing all of the commotion, Shigure had woke up, and when Kyo and Yuki were asleep, he got his camera)

Shigure- Aww... ^_^

(Yuki and Kyo transformed back into humans, and Tohru was facing Yuki, their hands touching and Kyo's arm was around Tohru's waist)

(Shigure threw a blanket over them and smiled as he took several different pictures)

Shigure- I will title this one, "Can't keep their hands off!" Hehehehe...

(Once he put his camera up, Shigure came back in the room to see Akito tossing and turning)

Akito- (Asleep) Shigure? Where did you go?

(Shigure smiled)

Shigure- I'm right here Akito...hehehe...

Akito- (Asleep) Shigure, come back to bed.

Shigure- Okay! ^_^ (Whispering) I'm never going to let him live this down... ^_^

(Shigure lay down next to Akito, and still asleep, Akito hugged Shigure, and of course Shigure hugged him back)

Shigure- (Whispering) This is too good to be a dream! ^_^ Hmm...I wonder...Akito?

Akito- (Asleep) Hmm?

Shigure- I love you. ^_^

Akito- (Asleep) I love you too Shigure.

Shigure's Mind- *HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! I KNEW IT!*

IN THE MORNING

(Akito began to wake up)

Shigure- Good morning Akito.

Akito- (Half asleep) Good morning...

(Akito still asleep, scooted farther into Shigure's arms)

Shigure- I love you Akito.

Akito- I love-

(Akito's eyes popped open)

Akito- SHIGURE?!

(Akito looked up to see Shigure practically on top of him, staring at him with a weird smile on his face)

Akito- Huh? But- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito's loud scream made Tohru, Yuki and Kyo start to wake up)

(Yuki touched Tohru's cheek)

Yuki- Good morning Honda-san.

Tohru- Hmm? Oh good morning Yuki...

(Still half asleep, Tohru didn't notice what she just said. Two seconds later she moved her hand back and felt Kyo's arm around her)

Tohru- Kyo? Good morning Ky- KYO?!

(Tohru opened her eyes all the way and saw a naked Yuki right in front of her)

Tohru- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Tohru's scream caused a chain reaction. First Kyo instinctively grabbed Tohru causing himself to transform yet again. Second Tohru's scream caused Yuki to fall off the bed right on top of Akito, and of course seeing the naked Yuki, Akito panicked)

Akito- AGH! GET OFF OF ME!!

(Then Akito accidentally kneed Yuki in the crotch which didn't help anything because it just made him fall on Akito more)

Akito- YUKI GET OFF OF ME THIS INSTANT!

(Akito pushed Yuki off, but Yuki landed right on Shigure)

Shigure- ACK! YUKI PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

(Tohru was on the bed in shock, and Kyo still in his cat form crawled onto her lap)

Kyo- Sorry Tohru...

(Yuki began hobbling out of the room and Tohru accidentally looked that way and saw Yuki's butt)

Tohru- OH MY GOSH!

(Then yet another unfortunate thing happened. Kyo transformed back into a human and was literally on top of Tohru)

Tohru- KYO!

(Kyo quickly ran out of the room, but not before Tohru got a good look at his butt too)

Tohru- Oh my...

(Akito eyes began to twitch again)

Akito's Mind- *NAKED MEN! EVERYWHERE! WHAT WERE THEY DOING??!! OMG!! THEY WERE IN TOHRU'S BED SO...*

Akito- I WANT TO GO HOME! HA-TOR-I!

(Akito curled up into a ball)

Akito- SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!

Shigure- Do you need another hug Akito? ^_^

Akito- You...stay...away...from...me...

Shigure- But you were begging me to hug you last night. ^_^

(Akito gasped and rushed out of the room)

Akito- HA-TOR-I!

(As Akito rushed from the room he tripped over Yuki who was still naked and lying down in the hallway moaning in pain)

Akito- AAAAH! (CRASH) YUKI WHAT ARE YOU-? OMG! YUKI PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!

(Akito tried to get up but when he tripped over Yuki he twisted his ankle)

Akito- THIS IS JUST GRAND!

(Shigure heard Akito's scream and came running out of the room, and just like Akito, he tripped over Yuki)

Shigure- AAAAH! (CRASH)

Akito- AGH! GET OFF OF ME SHIGURE! YOU'RE HEAVY!

Shigure- Sorry Akito...YUKI WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY?!

Yuki- Ugh...

Akito- SHIGURE MOVE! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME!

(At that very moment Shigure's alarm clock went off)

Shigure's alarm clock-

*Hey Mr. Wonderful, oh you're so incredible...*

Akito- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

Shigure- OH NO! THAT WAS SET TO REMIND ME WHEN MII IS COMING!

Akito- WHO THE HELL IS MII?! AND FOR THE LAST TIME, GET OFF!

(By this time Yuki had crawled into his room, and Shigure had gotten off of Akito)

Akito- I'M OUTTA HERE!

(Akito had forgotten that he had twisted his ankle and failed miserably at trying to get up)

Akito- SHIGURE HELP ME UP!

(Shigure was running around the house)

Shigure- GOTTA HIDE! GOTTA HIDE!

Akito- SHIGURE IF YOU DON'T HELP ME I SWEAR I'LL-

(Just then Tohru came out of her room, and saw Akito and helped him up)

Tohru- There you go Akito-san.

Akito- Thank you.

(Akito limped over to the door and opened it to see a crying Mii)

Akito- Uh...

Mii- WHERE IS SHIGURE??!!

(Akito pointed to behind the couch)

Mii- Thanks! ^_^

(Akito limped out the door and using his cell phone, called Hatori to come pick him up)

LATER ON

--FishFan logs on--

--CheeseMan logs on--

--Onigiri logs on--

FishFan- Tohru, you won't believe what happened to me a few days ago.

Onigiri- What happened, Kyo-kun?

FishFan- This weird person logged on and we started talking, and she knew my name when I didn't even tell her it! It was scary!

Onigiri- Oh my gosh!

CheeseMan- Haha, you have a stalker!

FishFan- SHUT UP! Anyways, I'm scared.

Onigiri- I wonder who she is...

CheeseMan- Probably some girl from our school.

FishFan- But why would she be so secretive?

CheeseMan- Don't know.

FishFan- OMG, IT COULD BE ANYONE!

CheeseMan- Kyo, quit panicking you'll just-

FishFan- IT COULD BE YOU!

CheeseMan- ME?!

--BunnyHop logs on--

BunnyHop- Hi, guys! ^_^

FishFan- OR YOU!

BunnyHop- Huh?

FishFan- OMG, OMG, OMG!

--SecretGirl984 logs on--

FishFan- AGH! IT'S HER!!

--FishFan logs off--

SecretGirl984- You can run, but you can't hide...

--SecretGirl984 logs off--

CheeseMan- Wow.

Onigiri- Oh dear. We should help Kyo-kun.

CheeseMan- I say we just watch and see how this turns out.

--CheeseMan logs off--

--Onigiri logs off--

BunnyHop- Hey guys?! Aww...

--BunnyHop logs off--

LATE THAT NIGHT

Akito's Phone- Ring, ring, ring!

Akito- (Sigh) I hate phones.

(Akito reluctantly picks up his phone)

Akito- Hello?

????- Hello. Is this the Sohma residence?

Akito- Maybe. Why, who is this?

????- This is the manager from the "Love Me Lots" Hotel.

Akito- (Sigh) Did Shigure make another reservation there? If he did, cancel it.

Hotel Manager- No, no. It's just that we have a member of your family's belongings here.

Akito- What? Who's?

Hotel Manager- A jacket and a wallet was left here by a Kureno Sohma. He had bought a room last night. We were wondering, can you send him to come and get his things?

Akito- Oh...my...god...

Hotel Manager- Are you okay?

Akito- ........

Hotel Manager- Hello?

(Akito faints)

**A/N: Bwahaha, Kureno is a bad boy! LOL. Thank you to all of my wonderful readers, and please tell me what you think! (REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!) Reviews REALLY make me want to update! Again, thank you! ^_^ Oh yeah, and I do own the name of the hotel. (Made it up on the spot) ; )**


	18. Chapter 18: Merry Christmas Akito!

**A/N: Okay the same thing with Thanksgiving, I don't know if they celebrate Christmas the way we do in America, but in this story they do so please just go with it. I had to do a Christmas chapter after reading a fantastically funny Kingdom Hearts Christmas fanfic entitled, "Merry Freaking Christmas." (Sorry but I don t remember the author s name, but they did a wonderful job!) (Wonderful, as in I laughed my ass off) So I hope you laugh your ass off at my version! Enjoy!**

**---**

Chapter 18: Merry Christmas Akito!

CHRISTMAS DAY

Akito- PRESENTS! PRESENTS!

(Akito jumped out of his bed and runs over to his table where many presents awaited him)

(He ripped open the first box that came in contact with his hands)

Akito- Lets see...SOCKS?! WHO THE HELL WOULD GIVE ME SOCKS?!...Love, Kureno...WHAT KIND OF PRESENT IS THAT?!

(He through the socks to the side and ripped open the next present)

Akito- This is for you, Love, Ayame...A maid's outfit...huh, it doesn't have any underwear to go with it...(Gasp)...WHY WOULD HE GIVE ME THAT?! Crappy, crappy presents!

(Akito dug through the gifts until he found one wrapped in pink paper)

Akito- Merry Christmas, With Much Love, Tohru...Gag me!

(Akito opened it to see a cooking book)

Akito- AGH! MY COOKING IS PERFECTLY FINE! OOH, I HATE HER!

(He continued the process of opening and tossing)

Akito- I hate you, From, Rin...A box of tissues, and there is a note to go with it.

Note-

Akito, I give you this present, not because I like you, But I wanted you to have these tissues for when the curse breaks, because you will be sobbing when it does. And I said WHEN not IF.

-Rin

Akito- THAT LITTLE WITCH! Whatever, next present...From, Ritsu...A BANANA?! What is the world coming to, when someone gives you a banana for Christmas?!

(He set the banana and the note aside)

Akito- Anyways...From, Momiji

(A slight movement from the box made Akito lurch away)

Akito- IT'S ALIVE! AAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT IS IT?! Oh, it's just a rabbit...GROSS IT POOPS!

(Akito puts the rabbit to the side)

Akito- This one's from Yuki...Huh? It's...it's... A RAT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito jumped up on a chair flinging the box with the rat in it away from him)

Akito- GET IT AWAY! GET IT AWAY!

(A servant came running in and with a small amount of trouble, removed the rat from Akito's room)

(Akito picked up the next present cautiously)

Akito- I have to be careful when I open these now...From, Haru...A matching set of...cow colored pot holders...WHY DO I NEED POT HOLDERS?! EVERYONE IS CRAZY!!

(Akito throws the pot holders to the side)

Akito- Maybe, just maybe I'll get a decent present...From, Hatori...Sleeping pills...WHY WOULD I NEED-

(Akito remembers Shigure's Musical Cards)

Akito- These might be very useful...THANK YOU HATORI! Okay...From, Kisa...A stuffed animal...HOW LAME!

(Akito threw the stuffed animal over his shoulder)

Akito- This one is from Kyo...A journal...there is a note inside...

Note-

Akito, this journal is Shigure's. He left it in my room, and I don't want it. I couldn't buy you anything so you can officially have Shigure's journal.

P.S. He wrote in it a lot, well at least I think so.

-Kyo

Akito- REVENGE!! THANK YOU KYO! THANK YOU! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WILL GET MY REVENGE!

(Akito placed the journal on his bed)

Akito- Best present I got all day! Okay, back to the gifts...From, Hiro...IT'S AN EMPTY BOX!! WHAT THE HELL?! Ugh...From, Kagura...it's a note...

Note-  
I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! I LOVE KYO! Hope you have a Merry Christmas!

-Kagura

Akito- THAT IS PROBABLY THE STUPIDEST GIFT I'VE EVER GOT!

(Akito ripped up the note)

Akito- Last, and definitely least, Shigure...there is a note too...oh boy...

Note-

My dearest Akito-san, I love you so much, but the present I sent you is only half of your Christmas gift. The other half of your present is here at my house, so come here later if you want it.

-Shigure

P.S. Wear this to my house.

(Akito opened the present and pulled out a night gown that was super short, and see through, Akito tossed it into the trash can quickly)

Akito- He is a sick, sick man.

(Akito picks up a card)

Akito- Oh great a musical card, just what I want. It's from everyone...

Card-

**Everyone:** The first thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Yuki- He says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The second thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Shigure- Hangs out with Kureno!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The third thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- Hangs out with Kureno!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The fourth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Ritsu- Please, please forgive me!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- Hangs out with Kureno!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The fifth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- Please, please forgive me!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- Hangs out with Kureno!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The sixth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Hatori- Why am I a seahorse?  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- I'M SO, SO SORRY!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- STOP HANGING OUT WITH KURENO!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The seventh thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Momiji- Happy, happy, happy!  
Hatori- Why am I a seahorse?  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- I'LL KILL KURENO!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The eighth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Rin- Pushed me out a window!  
Momiji- Happy, happy, happy!  
Hatori- Glug, glug, glug.  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- WHY DON'T YOU HANG OUT WITH ME?  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The ninth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Kisa- Beats up little children!  
Rin- HE PUSHED ME OUT A FREAKING WINDOW!  
Momiji- Everyone be happy!  
Hatori- WHY IN THE HELL AM I A SEAHORSE!  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- AM I THAT UNLOVED?  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The tenth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Ayame- Doesn't wear my costumes!  
Kisa- Beats up little children!  
Rin- IT WAS TWO STORIES HIGH!  
Momiji- Please be happy.  
Hatori- I'M SICK OF THE WATER!  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- FORGIVE ME! I'M BEGGING YOU!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- HE HANGS OUT WITH HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The eleventh thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Hiro- I don't give a damn!  
Ayame- Doesn't want to wear my pretty costumes!  
Kisa- Hiro! Potty mouth!  
Rin- IT HURT MY BACK!  
Momiji- People need to start being happy, right now!  
Hatori- Why me?  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- PUNISH ME FOR MY TERRIBLE, TERRIBLE SINS!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- I give up!  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The twelfth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Kureno- I have to stay around him.  
Hiro- I DON'T CARE!  
Ayame- Oh, that costume? It's $29.50.  
Kisa- Hiro, please be nice, this IS a Christmas card.  
Rin- I HATE YOU AKITO!  
Momiji- BE HAPPY!  
Hatori- Why are we doing this for Akito anyway?  
Haru- BEATS UP ON RIN!  
Ritsu- DON'T GIVE ME ANY SYMPATHY!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- God this song is long.  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

Shigure- Tohru? Kyo? You want to sing too? Oh fine!

**Everyone:** The thirteenth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Kyo- Says, "YOU CAN'T LOVE ANYONE!"  
Kureno- That doesn't even go with the song Kyo.  
Hiro- SHUT UP KURENO!  
Ayame- SOMEBODY BETTER BUY SOMETHING FROM ME NOW!  
Kisa- I tired of singing.  
Rin- AKITO IS UGLY!  
Momiji- (Annoyed) HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY! Hatori- Do you know what's like to have seahorses come around you every time you go swimming? DO YOU!  
Haru- I'M GOING BLACK!  
Ritsu- (Sniff) Sorry.  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- Haru.  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

**Everyone:** The fourteenth thing I hate that Akito does to me.  
Tohru- He doesn't like my cooking.  
Kyo- HE DOESN'T LIKE YOUR FOOD?! Kureno- Night and day! Do this for Akito, do that for Akito, I'M SICK OF IT!  
Hiro- I DON'T CARE! WHY DO I HAVE TO DO THIS!  
Ayame- SHUT UP HIRO, YOU'RE RUINING THE SONG!  
Kisa- Please don't fight.  
Rin- THE CURSE WILL BREAK!  
Momiji- YOU'RE NOT HAPPY! BE HAPPY! BE HAPPY!  
Hatori- My head hurts.  
Haru- SHUT THE HELL UP, OR I'M GONNA KILL SOMEONE!  
Ritsu- I'M SORRY HARU! DON'T KILL ME!  
Kagura- I LOVE KYO!  
Shigure- Kagura that is getting very annoying.  
Yuki- And says, "YOU BELONG TO ME!"

(Akito stared at the card, and his eyes began to twitch)

Akito- What the hell was that?

(Akito sets the card on his desk)

Akito- WAIT A MINUTE!

(Akito picked up the card quickly)

Akito- I will have to burn this...but when? When is Shigure never around? Hmmm...

(There was a knock on Akito's door)

Akito- WHO IS IT?

(A servant walked in carrying a rather large gift)

Servant- This is addressed to you Akito-san.

Akito- Thank you. You may leave now.

Servant- As you wish Akito.

(The servant left the room)

Akito- Who is this from?

(Akito looked at the box, but there was no name)

Akito- Huh, that's strange...oh well better open it.

(Akito slowly began to open the box)

(Outside of Akito's room Ren was waiting anxiously)

Ren- Wait for it, wait for it...

(Akito bent down close to the box)

Akito- What in the world?

(There was a loud explosion from Akito's room, and then a scream)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

Ren- YES!

(Ren slipped on a gas mask and went skipping down the stairs)

Akito- IT'S A STINK BOMB! AGH! (Cough, cough!) SOMEBODY HELP ME! (Wheeze!) OH MY GOD! (Choke!)

(Green gas exploded from the bomb and started to spread throughout the whole estate, but since Ren locked Akito's door from the outside, most of the gas stayed in Akito's room)

Akito- HELP! HELP! HELP! KURENO? WHY IS THE DOOR LOCKED?! (Choke!) I CAN'T GET OUT! (Wheeze) OH, I'M GOING TO DIE!

(Akito began banging on the door, but everyone had already evacuated the estate)

Akito- I WANT OUT!

(Akito ran around the room franticly)

Akito- CAN'T BREATHE! CAN'T BREATHE!

(Akito looked around and saw the window)

Akito- AHA!

(Akito ran to the window to see all of the servants done below)

Servant- Akito-san? Are you okay? You need to get out of there, gas is spreading throughout the estate!

Akito- MY DOOR IS LOCKED!

Servant- JUMP AKITO-SAN!

Akito- ARE YOU MAD?! I AM NOT JUMPING FROM A TWO STORY HIGH WINDOW!

Servant- Don't worry, we will catch you Akito-san!

Akito- PROMISE?

Servant- We promise!

(The servants gathered together in a circle with a blanket)

Servants- WE WILL CATCH YOU! JUMP AKITO!

(Akito thought about it for a moment)

Akito- Okay, if you're sure...

(Akito eased his way out of the window, and then let go)

Akito- CCCCCCCAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCHHHHHHH MMMMEEEEEEE!!!!

(Akito missed the blanket by about two inches, and crashed into the pavement)

Akito- OOOOOOOOOOW!!!

(The servants began to panic)

Servants- AKITO-SAN?! WE ARE SO SORRY! ARE YOU OKAY?! ARE YOU?! OMG! OMG!

Akito- YOU SAID YOU WOULD CATCH ME!

Servants- WE ARE SO SORRY AKITO-SAN!

Akito- YOU ARE ALL LIARS! YOU HATE ME! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!

Servants- NO! WE WOULD NEVER-

Akito- YOU HATE ME! IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU WOULD HAVE CAUGHT ME LIKE YOU PROMISED!

Servants- OH, WE ARE SO, SO, SO, SORRY!

Akito- My face hurts...

Servants- Is there anything you want us to do Akito-san?

Akito- Call Hatori because my face feels broken, get me lots, and lots of ice, and save my rabbit...

Servants- Right away Akito-san!

Akito- And one more thing, put my mother in an insane asylum.

Servant- Okay...

Akito- My back hurts, my face hurts, my legs hurt...

Servants- Akito-san, we have your ice, and Hatori-san is here to see you.

Hatori- Akito, where does it hurt?

Akito- EVERYWHERE!

Hatori- You have a few cuts and bruises, but other than that you're very lucky.

Akito- HOW SO?

Hatori- Nothing is broken or sprained.

Akito- BUT I'M SO SORE!

Hatori- Yeah, you'll probably be sore for a few more days.

(Akito groaned)

Akito- I HAD AN AWFUL CHRISTMAS!

LATER

--FishFan logs on--

--CheeseMan logs on--

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Do you think Akito-san liked the presents?

CheeseMan- I don't think he likes anything.

FishFan- I bet he likes MY gift.

CheeseMan- Alright, Mr. Confident what did you give him?

FishFan- Okay, I gave him-

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Hey guys! Any girls online? ^_^

CheeseMan- You're sick.

FishFan- Why don't you find a woman your own age Shigure?

Luvpuppy- What on Earth are you talking about? I'm only 19. ^_^

FishFan- Uh-huh, and Yuki and I are best friends.

Onigiri- Really?!

CheeseMan- Uh, no Honda-san. He was just joking.

Onigiri- Oh.

--YankeeThug logs on--

--PrinceYukiLover1 logs on--

YankeeThug- Christ!

--YankeeThug logs off--

PrinceYukiLover1- We know that you know where Prince Yuki is Uotani!

--PrinceYukiLover1 logs off--

Onigiri- Oh my.

FishFan- You lucky bastard.

CheeseMan- Ahahaha! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Why can't there be a Shigure Fan Club?

FishFan- Must we remind you of your age?

Luvpuppy- 19. ^_^

FishFan- 28.

Luvpuppy- 19. ^_^

FishFan- 28.

Luvpuppy- 19. ^_^

FishFan- 28.

Luvpuppy- 19. ^_^

FishFan- 28.

Luvpuppy- 19. ^_^

FishFan- 28.

Luvpuppy- 19. ^_^

FishFan- TWENTY EIGHT!

CheeseMan- SHUT UP! YOU TWO DRIVE ME CRAZY! Come on Honda-san, let s go.

Onigiri- Um, okay.

--Onigiri logs off--

--CheeseMan logs off--

FishFan- Dammit, Shigure!

Luvpuppy- Haha, I'm still 19.

--Luvpuppy logs off--

FishFan- TWENTY....EIGHT!!!

--FishFan logs off--

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- 19!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

**A/N: Ahaha, giving Akito musical cards is just too fun. In case you didn't know (I doubt anyone didn't know) the song in the musical card goes to "The Twelve Days of Christmas". Props to whoever created that song, because I sure didn't. Please keep the reviews coming, and hopefully my next update will be within the next few days. (Sorry it took so long last time) LOVE YOU GUYS! ^_^**


	19. Chapter 19: I Wish I Was Stinky

**A/N: Wow, this update was really fast... I said that it might take me a few days, but I was so in the mood to type, that, well here it is! Enjoy!**

**---**

Chapter 19: I wish I was Stinky...

THE NEXT DAY

--Akito logs on--

Akito- MY ROOM STILL SMELLS LIKE CRAP! WHAT THE HELL DID THAT WOMAN PUT IN THAT STINK BOMB?

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Akito are you okay? Hatori said you hurt yourself.

Akito- Well, if you call falling out of a four story high building, and crashing into the pavement as hurting yourself, then yes, I did.

Luvpuppy- Oh my...

Akito- AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE WORST PART ABOUT IT?!

Luvpuppy- What?

Akito- THE SERVANTS PROMISED THAT THEY WOULD CATCH ME AND THEY DIDN'T! THEY LIED!

Luvpuppy- Oh dear...

Akito- Is that all you can say?

Luvpuppy- Did you get my Christmas present?

Akito- Are you paying attention?

Shigure- Did you get it?

Akito- Yes and I think that you're crazy.

Luvpuppy- Yeah, crazy in love with you.

Akito- You need help.

Luvpuppy- Yes I do.

Akito- MY POINT EXACTLY!

Luvpuppy- So why did you fall out the window?

Akito- My mom sent me a stink bomb for Christmas.

Luvpuppy- I see.

Akito- Can I ask you something?

Luvpuppy- Sure!

Akito- Why did Yuki send me a rat?

Luvpuppy- HE SENT YOU A RAT?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Akito- WHAT IS SO DAMN FUNNY?!

Luvpuppy- I bet you screamed...

Akito- AND IF I DID?!

Luvpuppy- I bet you jumped on the nearest chair...

Akito- SO?!

Luvpuppy- And I'll bet that you screamed until a servant came in and took the rat away...

Akito- SHUT UP!

Luvpuppy- Did you get scared of Momiji's rabbit too?

Akito- NO! Well maybe at first, but I happen to like my rabbit!

Luvpuppy- Really? Well, what did you name it?

Akito- Stinky.

Luvpuppy- Why?

Akito- Because it smells like shit from the stink bomb.

Luvpuppy- Okay...

Akito- SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING!

Luvpuppy- So what did Kyo send you for Christmas?

Akito- Oh, Kyo? He gave me... (Evil grin) ...a special present.

Luvpuppy- Huh? Special? What is it?

Akito- Oh nothing...

Luvpuppy- I WANNA KNOW THE SECRET! I WANNA KNOW!

Akito- Sorry.

Luvpuppy- TELL ME!

Akito- No can do.

Luvpuppy- I'm going to send you another musical card.

Akito- HA! Too bad! Hatori sent me sleeping pills for Christmas!

Luvpuppy- Damn.

Akito- Hold on a sec.

Luvpuppy- Hmm...I wonder what happened.

Akito- SHIGURE! What do I do? My rabbit isn't moving!

Luvpuppy- Well did you FEED it?

Akito- OH YEAH! Hold on.

Luvpuppy- Idiot.

Akito- IT BIT ME!

Luvpuppy- Serves you right.

Akito- WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Luvpuppy- If I were a rabbit, and you didn't feed me, I would bite you as well.

Akito- WELL YOU'RE NOT A RABBIT SO SHUT IT!

Luvpuppy- Did you give it water?

Akito.........

Luvpuppy- (Sigh) Akito give the rabbit some water before it dies.

Akito- Okay, hold on.

Luvpuppy- So dense...

Akito- THERE! I GAVE STINKY WATER!

Luvpuppy- Great, now it might actually live for a day or two.

Akito- STINKY WILL LIVE FOREVER!

Luvpuppy- May I ask you where "Stinky" is living?

Akito- In a box.

Luvpuppy- You're hopeless.

Akito- WHAT?! NOW THE RABBIT CAN'T LIVE IN A BOX?! WHERE DO I PUT IT THEN?

Luvpuppy- IN A CAGE!

Akito- (Gasp) I AM NOT PUTTING STINKY IN A CAGE!

Luvpuppy- Then buy a rabbit hutch.

Akito- WHAT THE HELL IS A RABBIT HUTCH?!

Luvpuppy- The rabbit version of a dog house.

Akito- Huh? Rabbits live in dog houses?

Luvpuppy- NO!

Akito- YOU'RE CONFUSING ME!

Luvpuppy- Okay, write this down Akito.

Akito- Okay.

Luvpuppy- Go to the store.

Akito- Yes?

Luvpuppy- Buy a rabbit hutch.

Akito- Okay.

Luvpuppy- Buy wood chips.

Akito- Wood chips?

Luvpuppy- YES!

Akito- Okay, okay...

Luvpuppy- Buy a water bottle for the rabbit.

Akito- Uh huh.

Luvpuppy- Buy food for the rabbit.

Akito- What kind of food?

Luvpuppy- RABBIT FOOD!

Akito- Is that all it can eat?

Luvpuppy- No, Akito, a rabbit can eat fruits, and vegetables.

Akito- Can it eat candy?

Luvpuppy- No.

Akito- OH NO! Hold on!

Luvpuppy- That poor rabbit won't make it through the night.

--Onigiri logs on--

--CheeseMan logs on--

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- YUKI! QUIT STALKING TOHRU!

CheeseMan- WHAT DO YOU MEAN "STALKING"?! WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE YOU DORK!

FishFan- Why I outta-

Onigiri- Kyo, Yuki please stop fighting...

Luvpuppy- Yes Yuki, and Kyo, listen to Tohru, or she might get sad and go away forever.

FishFan- (Gasp!)

CheeseMan- DON'T LEAVE HONDA-SAN!

Onigiri- I'm not leaving...

CheeseMan- Good...

FishFan- I knew that she wouldn't leave us, I mean I AM her BOYFRIEND.

CheeseMan- HA! As if!

FishFan- I AM!

CheeseMan- No you're not.

Onigiri- So Shigure, what would you like for dinner tonight?

Luvpuppy- Hmmm...I think I want...leeks.

FishFan- WHAT?! NO WAY IN HELL!

CheeseMan- Leeks sound good to me Honda-san.

FishFan- SHUT UP! NOBODY ASKED YOU WHAT YOU THOUGHT!

CheeseMan- Hush.

FishFan- DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Luvpuppy- Now, now children, don't fight.

Akito- STINKY WON'T MOVE!

FishFan- Huh?

CheeseMan- Who is Stinky?

Luvpuppy- Oh, everyone say hi to Akito.

Onigiri- Hello Akito-san!

Akito- Gag me.

FishFan- I won't say it!

CheeseMan- Who is Stinky?

Akito- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS YUKI!

Luvpuppy- Stinky is-

Akito- SHUT UP SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- Whatever.

Onigiri- Akito-san, did you like your Christmas gifts?

Akito- No I did not.

Luvpuppy- But I thought you said you liked the rabb-

Akito- CAN YOU BE QUIET FOR TWO MINUTES?!

Luvpuppy- Sorry...

Onigiri- But didn't you get the gift I sent you?

Akito- Yes.

Onigiri- Well what did you think of it?

Akito- I HATED IT! I CAN COOK PERFECTLY WELL TOHRU HONDA, I DON'T NEED A BOOK!

Onigiri- Oh...sorry...

CheeseMan- No, seriously, who is Stinky?

FishFan- Hey Shigure do you know what I gave Akito?

Luvpuppy- No, what?

Akito- KYO SHUT IT!

FishFan- I sent Akito your jo-

--FishFan has been blocked from this conversation--

Akito- Whoops! ^_^

Luvpuppy- AK-I-TO!

Akito- DON'T YOU YELL AT ME SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- Right...

CheeseMan- Someone needs to tell me who Stinky is...

Onigiri- I should go check on Kyo...

--Onigiri logs off--

Akito- WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- I'm Shigure Sohma...at least I think so...

Akito- THAT SMART MOUTH OF YOUR'S IS GOING TO GET YOU IN BIG TROUBLE!

CheeseMan- WHO IS STINKY?!

Akito- NONE OF YOUR-

Luvpuppy- Stinky is Akito's rabbit.

Akito- (Gasp!)

CheeseMan- Akito has a rabbit?

Akito- NO!

Luvpuppy- Yes.

Akito- No I do not.

Luvpuppy- Yes you do.

CheeseMan- Oh wait till I tell Haru, Akito has a pet rabbit named Stinky!

Akito- YUKI! DON'T YOU DARE!

--CheeseMan logs off--

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAH! SEE WHAT YOU DID SHIGURE?!

Luvpuppy- OH! IT'S 4:00! JERRY SPRINGER IS ON, HURRAY!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

Akito- I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM ALL!

--Akito logs off--

THE NEXT DAY

--Akito logs on--

Akito- STINKY WONT EAT!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- So, is the rabbit dead yet?

Akito- DON'T TALK TO ME! And for your information, he has a name.

Luvpuppy- (Annoyed) Oh, my bad, is STINKY dead yet?

Akito- I TOLD YOU NOT TO TALK TO ME! And no, Stinky is alive.

Luvpuppy- That's a miracle.

Akito- WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Luvpuppy- Nothing...

Akito- STINKY MOVE!

Luvpuppy- What is wrong with Stinky now? What could you have possibly done to hurt that poor rabbit anymore?

Akito- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! STINKY WON'T MOVE!

Luvpuppy- He won't move?

Akito- Yes, and I even tried poking him with a stick, but that didn't help...

Luvpuppy- YOU POKED THE RABBIT?!

Akito- Well, it wouldn't move!

Luvpuppy- So you came to the conclusion to POKE it?

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- Hi.

Akito- HATORI! I NEED HELP! STINKY IS DYING!

BubbleDragon- Who is Stinky?

Luvpuppy- Ha!

Akito- STINKY IS MY RABBIT, AND I NEED HELP, CAUSE IT WON'T MOVE!

BubbleDragon- Oh, great now I have to treat the Head of the Family's rabbit...

Akito- Huh?

BubbleDragon- Nothing, I'll come over and check on your rabbit.

Akito- HIS NAME IS STINKY!

BubbleDragon- Right...

--BubbleDragon logs off--

Akito- Don't you worry Stinky, Hatori will fix you.

Luvpuppy- FIX him?

Akito- YES FIX! F-I-X, FIX!

Luvpuppy- Whatever you say Akito...

Akito- I have to go, Stinky is pooping.

Luvpuppy- What?

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- Does he observe everything that rabbit does?

--Luvpuppy logs off--

LATER THAT EVENING

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- Akito has finally lost it...

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- How's it going?

BubbleDragon- Horrible.

Luvpuppy- How so?

BubbleDragon- Akito has gone crazy.

Luvpuppy- WHAT DID HE DO?! TELL ME! TELL!

BubbleDragon- He is having a building built just for Stinky.

Luvpuppy- Seriously?

BubbleDragon- I'm dead serious, Akito is building a HOUSE for a RABBIT!

Luvpuppy- WHY?

BubbleDragon- He says because the rabbit is special like he is, and Stinky deserves a house to live in.

Luvpuppy- Oh, so now a cage isn't enough?

BubbleDragon- Apparently not.

Luvpuppy- What about the rabbit hutch?

BubbleDragon- Akito says that a rabbit hutch is too small for HIS Stinky.

Luvpuppy- Wow...he really has lost it...

BubbleDragon- You think?

Luvpuppy- I wish Akito would give me a house...

BubbleDragon- Uh huh...

--BunnyHop logs on--

BunnyHop- Hi you guys! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Hello Momiji! ^_^

BubbleDragon- Hi.

BunnyHop- So what is going on?

Luvpuppy- Oh, wait till you hear this Momiji!

BunnyHop- Hear what?

Luvpuppy- Okay listen, Akito is making a HOUSE for Stinky.

BunnyHop- Who is Stinky?

BubbleDragon- You don't know?

BunnyHop- No.

Luvpuppy- Wow, that's shocking, I was sure Yuki would have told everyone by now...

BunnyHop- Well, who is Stinky?

Luvpuppy- Stinky is the rabbit you gave Akito, Momiji.

BunnyHop- AKITO KEPT THE RABBIT?! AND HE LIKES IT?! Wow...

Luvpuppy- Yes, that's what Hatori and I thought too.

BunnyHop- HE NAMED THE RABBIT STINKY?! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?!

BubbleDragon- You don't want to know the story...

BunnyHop- I'M GOING TO GO TELL AS MANY PEOPLE AS I CAN!

Luvpuppy- You didn't hear it from me!

BubbleDragon- Or me.

BunnyHop- Okay!

--BunnyHop logs off--

Luvpuppy- I know this is totally off subject but, I'M SO HUNGRY!

BubbleDragon- Hmm...me too...

Luvpuppy- LETS GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT! LET'S GO GET SOME-

--Akito logs on--

Akito- STINKY!

Luvpuppy- Oh, great look who it is.

Akito- STINKY BIT ME AGAIN!

Luvpuppy- Well, maybe you should try putting a muzzle on it.

Akito- They make those for rabbits?

BubbleDragon- No, Akito.

Luvpuppy- So dense...

Akito- QUIT MAKING FUN OF ME, I DIDN'T KNOW!

Luvpuppy- I am going to pray for that poor rabbit...

Akito- FOR THE LAST TIME, HIS NAME IS STINKY!

Luvpuppy- Can't you give Stinky to a family who can actually take care of him?

Akito- What?! I take care of Stinky perfectly well! And I am NOT giving him away!

Luvpuppy- Oh really? If you're taking care of him so well, then what is in Stinky's food bowl right now?

Akito- (Proud) Carrots and celery.

Luvpuppy- Hmm...and what else did you give to Stinky?

Akito- (Even more proud) WATER! ^_^

Luvpuppy- And you do know you have to give Stinky fresh food, and water every day right?

Akito- That's not true.

Luvpuppy- Yes it is.

Akito- No, I don't have to feed, or water Stinky, his SERVANTS do that.

Luvpuppy- STINKY HAS SERVANTS?!

Akito- Yep.

Luvpuppy- Lucky rabbit...

Akito- Yes and his servants suggested that I get him a playmate.

Luvpuppy- Oh yes Akito, by all means, buy more rabbits.

Akito- Thank you, I will.

BubbleDragon- I guess you guys just forgot about me, huh?

Akito- Oh Hatori! I forgot you were still online!

BubbleDragon- My point exactly.

Luvpuppy- Hatori, tell Akito NOT to get another rabbit.

BubbleDragon- Why? If Akito wants another rabbit, Akito can get another rabbit.

Akito- HA! HA!

Luvpuppy- Whatever, it's your funeral.

Akito- But I'm not dead! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Just make sure Stinky's "playmate" isn't a girl.

Akito- Why?

Luvpuppy- Well Stinky is a boy, right?

Akito- Yes.

Luvpuppy- So if you get a GIRL playmate then...well...you know...

Akito- Huh?

BubbleDragon- Akito, sometimes...oh never mind.

Akito- Well Shigure always confuses me, so how am I supposed to know what he means?

Luvpuppy- Just forget it.

BubbleDragon- Akito the reason why Shigure says not to get a girl rabbit is-

Luvpuppy- No, Hatori, let Akito get a female rabbit, then maybe Akito just might learn some responsibility.

Akito- Responsibility is STUPID.

Luvpuppy- Uh huh, you just wait and see.

Akito- I gotta go. Stinky and I are scheduled to take our bath in five minutes.

Luvpuppy- You and Stinky bathe TOGETHER?!

Akito- Of course!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- (Sniff) I wish I was Stinky...

--Luvpuppy logs off--

BubbleDragon- Disgusting.

--BubbleDragon logs off--

**A/N: If your wondering when the next update will be, probably in a few minutes because I'm typing like crazy... Please review and tell me what you think. ^_^**


	20. Chapter 20: Inner Akito

**A/N: Wow I was right. It has only been like two minutes since chapter 19 was posted. Am I sick? Hope not. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry, it's kinda short.**

**---**

Chapter 20: Inner Akito

LATER THAT NIGHT

(Shigure had come to Akito's room)

Akito- What do you want?

Shigure- Oh nothing... ^_^

Akito- Get away pervert.

(Shigure pulled out a box of chocolate covered strawberries)

Akito- What are those?

Shigure- Chocolate covered strawberries...

(Akito took a step back and smiled but in his mind he was screaming)

Akito's Thoughts- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! HE BROUGHT CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES, AND HE KNOWS I LOVE THOSE!!!! DAMN HIM!!! DAMN HIM!!! SOMEBODY HELP!!! I know, just keep your cool...

Akito- Ha. Now why would you bring those?

Shigure- I dunno.

Akito's Thoughts- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Shigure- Maybe, because it is a total turn on for you.

Akito's Thoughts- AGH! HE JUST COMES RIGHT OUT AND SAYS IT?! HE HAS NO SHAME! SOMEBODY GET HIM AWAY!!

Akito- I don't know what you're talking about. I hate chocolate covered strawberries!

Shigure- Oh really?

Akito- Yes.

Akito's Thoughts- YES! POINT FOR ME! POINT FOR ME! I'M NOT THAT EASY! ^_^

Akito- In case you've forgotten, I like chocolate covered CHERRIES not strawberries.

(Shigure pulled out another box)

Shigure- I brought those too.

Akito's Thoughts- SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! HOW DOES HE DO THAT?! ARGH! WHAT DO I DO?! WHAT DO I DO?!

Akito- Uh...um...

Shigure- Want to try one?

Akito- No.

Akito's Thoughts- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WHAT DO I SAY TO HIM?! WAIT I KNOW!

Akito- I'd like to but I can't, I'm on a diet right now.

Shigure- But you have a wonderful figure.

Akito- Flattery will not change the fact that I'm on a diet.

Akito's Thoughts- OH YEAH! HE CAN'T GET PASSED THAT ONE! I WIN! ^_^

Shigure- Well, isn't it just dandy that I brought low fat strawberries, and cherries?

Akito- That's...great...

Akito's Thoughts- RAAAAAAAAAAH!!! HE WILL NOT GIVE UP! HOW DID HE COME PREPARED FOR ANYTHING I WOULD SAY?! HOW DOES HE DO THAT?! IS HE PSYCHIC OR SOMETHING?!

Shigure- Come on Akito...you LOVE chocolate covered strawberries.

Akito- No I do not.

(Shigure opened the box of strawberries)

Shigure- Well I'M going to eat one.

Akito- Go ahead, it's not like I care...

(Shigure ate the strawberry really slow)

Akito's Thoughts- IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE SEXY?! HE SCARES ME! I HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING! Him eating that strawberry is actually kind of- NO! SNAP OUT OF IT AKITO! THINK OF SOMETHING! THINK! THINK!

(Shigure sat on the bed next to Akito)

Shigure- Do you want one NOW?

Akito- No...

Akito's Thoughts- OMG! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I NEED A MIRACLE! THIS MAN CAN'T TAKE A HINT!

Akito- I don't really want to talk...

Shigure- I don't want to talk either.

(Shigure scooted closer)

Akito's Thoughts- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(Akito jumped up)

Akito- I want to see Stinky.

(Shigure looked dumbfounded)

Shigure- HUH?!

Akito- Yeah sorry about that, gotta go!

(Shigure jumped up and pulled Akito into a kiss)

(Also at that very minute Kureno walked in Akito's room)

Kureno- Akito we have to talk about- AAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Akito pushed away from Shigure)

Akito- Kureno, uh...

Kureno- What is going on in here?

Akito- Nothing...

(Shigure waved)

Shigure- Hi Kureno. ^_^

Kureno- Then why is Shigure in your room?

Akito- Uh...coincidence?

Kureno- Then why are there chocolate covered strawberries?

Akito- I...um...uh...I WANT TO SEE STINKY!

Shigure- But...what about me?

(A servant heard the commotion, and brought Stinky into Akito's room)

Akito- (Delighted) STINKY! ^_^

(Akito takes Stinky into his arms and the servant leaves)

Kureno- So nothing was going on Akito?

Akito- No.

(Shigure stood up and grabbed the chocolates)

Shigure- There WOULD'VE been something going on tonight, if it weren't for you or...

(Shigure shot a look at Stinky)

Shigure- ...that rabbit!

(Akito gasped and clutched Stinky)

Akito- Don't you say that to Stinky!

(Akito smiled)

Akito- Come on Stinky, you can sleep in here with me tonight.

(Akito went and laid down in bed with Stinky)

Akito- Good night Kureno, GOOD-BYE Shigure.

(Kureno and Shigure left the room)

Shigure- Stupid, stupid Stinky.

Kureno- What were you doing with Akito, Shigure?

Shigure- I TOLD YOU ALREADY! Nothing happened!

Kureno- You know, ever since Akito got that rabbit I actually get some free time away from him, and I actually enjoy it.

Shigure- Stinky has something coming to him if he thinks he can take Akito away from me!

Kureno- Are you even listening to me?

Shigure- I'm sorry Kureno, did you say something?

Kureno- (Sigh) Never mind...

Shigure- That stupid Stinky gets everything he wants!

Kureno- Don't you think you're a little too serious about Stinky? I mean he IS a RABBIT.

Shigure- Yeah you're right, it's stupid to be jealous of a rabbit...

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed, and I hope I get a bunch of reviews! ^_^**


	21. Chapter 21: Fatty The Killer Rabbit

**A/N: Okay, now I really think I shouldn't have had all of that caffeine. These chapters are just going up like CRAZY! (Takes a sip of coffee) But don't worry about me, please enjoy chapter 21! ^_^**

**---**

Chapter 21: Fatty The Killer Rabbit

3 WEEKS LATER

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito rushed down the hallway)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Kureno rushed up to Akito as well as two other servants)

Servants- What is it Akito-san?

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- WHAT IS WRONG! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Kureno shook Akito by the shoulders)

Kureno- WHAT IS IT?! TELL US WHAT IS WRONG!

Akito- Stinky...he...more...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Kureno- Stinky did what?

Akito- MORE! MORE STINKYS!

Kureno- Huh?

Akito- TWELVE! TWELVE MORE STINKYS! THEY MULTIPLIED!

Kureno- What in the world are you talking about?

Akito- TWELVE MORE BABY STINKYS! HOW MUCH MORE SIMPLE CAN I GET?!

Kureno- Huh? But Stinky is a boy- AKITO!

(Akito jumped)

Akito- What did I do? The baby Stinkys are attached to Stinky's playmate, and they're making awful noises! What do I do?

Kureno- Akito, is Stinky's playmate a girl?

Akito- No, I told the servant not to get a female cause Shigure was freaking out for some reason...

Kureno- Which servant got you Stinky's playmate?

(Akito pointed a finger towards a girl servant standing nearby)

Akito- That one.

(Kureno called the servant over)

Kureno- When you bought the rabbit's-

Akito- HIS NAME IS STINKY!

Kureno- (Sigh) When you bought "Stinky's" playmate, did you make sure it was a male?

Servant- Well, no, but the person who sold it to me, swore it was a male.

Kureno- Did you check the rabbit?

Akito- Now how in the world can you do that Kureno?

Kureno- Oh my goodness...

Akito- I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULD DO THAT! HOW CAN YOU TELL A BOY RABBIT FROM A GIRL RABBIT?!

Kureno- How indeed...

Akito- Huh?

Kureno- Akito, how did you know that Stinky was a boy rabbit if you don't know a boy rabbit from a girl rabbit?

Akito- It was on the card Momiji left with the rabbit.

Kureno- I could break out laughing right now, but I'm too shocked.

Akito- WE STILL DON'T KNOW HOW THE BABY STINKYS GOT THERE!

Kureno- Akito, the boy rabbit, and the girl rabbit...AKITO YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW!

Akito- I should?

Kureno- Go...see...Stinky...

Akito- Why?

Kureno- RAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito jumps)

Akito- SOMEONE NEEDS ANGER MANAGEMENT!!!!!!!

Kureno- ME?! I NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT?! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO NEEDS ANGER MANAGEMENT!!

Akito- ME?! I DO NOT! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST SCREAMED IN MY FACE!

Kureno- SO?! I CAN GIVE YOU MANY REASONS WHY YOU NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!!

Akito- OH REALLY?!

Kureno- YEAH! AND JUST SO YOU KNOW HOW TO UNDERSTAND, I WILL WRITE IT IN A LIST FOR YOU!!!

Kureno's List-

1. Scares Yuki

2. Beats up Kisa

3. Hurt Hatori's eye

4. Pushed Rin out a window

5. Pulled Tohru's hair

6. Scratched Tohru's face

7. Is trying to put Kyo in confinement

8. Hit Momiji

9. Slapped me

10. Started the fight at Thanksgiving (by throwing salt)

11. Burning, ripping, and destroying musical cards.

12. Just because you didn't like the birthday or Christmas gifts the Zodiac sent you, you threw them all over your room

13. When you were "ill" you put everyone through a living hell

14. WOKE ME UP AT 4:30 am FOR A SUPPOSEDLY "DEVIL CARD"

15. Got mad at me for falling asleep when I was tired

16. Held Hatori against his will, for your own reasons

(Akito was reading over the list and stopped Kureno)

Akito- SCRATCH THAT OFF! I DID NOT DO THAT!

Kureno- Which one?

Akito- NUMBER SIXTEEN!

Kureno- Fine, fine...

(Kureno scratched off number sixteen on his list)

Kureno- Anyways...

Back to Kureno's List-

16. Gets insanely angry when you don't get your way

17. Pushed your mom down the stairs

Akito- HEY! THAT ISN'T FAIR! SHE STARTED IT!

18. Jumped out a window

Akito- THERE WAS A STINK BOMB IN MY ROOM AND MY DOOR WAS LOCKED!!!

19. Yells too much

20. Most of the time he yells over nothing

21. Cut up Rin's hair

22. Almost killed the same rabbit many times

23. Killed an innocent bird

Akito- HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?! I...mean...uh...

24. Named an innocent rabbit "Stinky"

Akito- WHAT IS WRONG WITH STINKY'S NAME?!

Kureno- My list can go on.

Akito- Whatever! I don't care! We still need to find out how the baby Stinkys got here!

Kureno- Somebody shoot me.

Akito- DON'T LEAVE ME!! I'M SORRY!! WHAT DID I DO?! DON'T GO KURENO!!!

Kureno- Calm down, now come with me.

(Kureno took Akito into the library and pulled out a biology book)

Kureno- Here read pages 20-30

Akito- Okay.

(Kureno stepped out of the room but heard Akito from the inside of the library)

Akito- EWW GROSS!! DOES THAT COUNT WITH HUMANS TOO?! AGH!

Librarian- Hush.

Akito- (Whispering) Oh, sorry.

Akito- MY STINKY DID THAT?! MY PERFECT LITTLE STINKY?! NO WAY!!

Librarian- Akito-san, you have to be quiet in the library.

Akito- But this book is so wrong...

Librarian- Well, you can check out that book and take it back to your room.

Akito- Okay...I guess...

(Librarian checks out book for Akito, and Akito goes back to his room and opens book to read it from where he left off)

Akito- The male and the female...YUCK!

(Akito shuts book with a disgusted look on his face)

Akito- That can't be how it works.

Akito- WAIT A MINUTE! IF I KEEP DOING THAT...AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(Akito opens book again)

Akito- Kureno DID say to read it...

(Akito flips through a few pages of the book)

Akito- What the hell...PICTURES!! THEY HAVE PICTURES IN THIS BOOK!!!

(Akito slams the book shut again)

Akito- No way, this is going back to the library, where innocent people can believe these lies, because I sure won't!

(Akito returns the book to the library)

Librarian- Finished already?

(Akito shook his head)

Akito- I don't read porn. You should put this away before some innocent child finds it and opens it.

(Akito walked away)

Librarian- Porn?

A FEW MINUTES LATER

--MeanChick logs on--

MeanChick- It is so boring here!

CheeseMan- Hey look, it's MeanChick! She hasn't been on in the longest time.

FishFan- Who cares?

Onigiri- Kyo-kun, be nice.

FishFan- Okay...sorry MeanChick...

Luvpuppy- Hello, "MeanChick!"

MeanChick- .........

RunningWithTheWind- You guys suck, I'm outta here!

--RunningWithTheWind logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- Bye-bye!

--BlackIsMyColor logs off--

LadyStripes- Hiro, do you want to go to the park?

BaaaaaadBoy- Sure.

--BaaaaaadBoy logs off--

--LadyStripes logs off--

BunnyHop- Does Akito-san still like Stinky?

Luvpuppy- He sure does, in fact Akito has 13 more Stinkys.

MeanChick- ACK!

BunnyHop- Huh?

Luvpuppy- I'll tell you when you're a bit older...

BunnyHop- Okay, bye! ^_^

--BunnyHop logs off--

FishFan- Who the hell is Stinky?

Luvpuppy- You still don't know? I thought Yuki was going to tell everyone...

CheeseMan- Everyone, except Kyo.

FishFan- HEY!

Onigiri- Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun told me that Stinky is Akito-san's rabbit.

MeanChick- SHUT UP TOHRU HONDA!

Onigiri- I'm sorry?

MeanChick- Uh...nothing...

BubbleDragon- Yep, Akito got Stinky a playmate, and well the servants accidentally got a girl playmate, so...you know...

Luvpuppy- Yep, so now Akito has what he calls, "Twelve more baby Stinkys"

FishFan- How do you know Shigure?

Luvpuppy- Kureno told Hatori, and Hatori told me.

FishFan- What kind of name is Stinky?

MeanChick- Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr....

VineSwinger- I'M SORRY!

--VineSwinger logs off--

Luvpuppy- What was that?

CheeseMan- Ritsu...

ILOVEKYO- So Kyo-kun, will we be going out to dinner tonight?

FishFan- As if.

Onigiri- Oh but Kyo-kun that will be fun! It can be a double date! You and Kagura, and me and Yuki-kun!

Luvpuppy- Aww... ^_^

MeanChick- (Mimicking) And me and Yuki-kun! Gag me.

Luvpuppy- I'm sorry MeanChick, did you say something?

MeanChick- No.

FishFan- No, Tohru if we go on a double date, KAGURA can go with YUKI, I want to go with you.

Onigiri- Okay, if it is okay with Yuki-kun and Kagura-san...

ILOVEKYO- NO WAY!!

CheeseMan- I don't mind.

ILOVEKYO- But, Yuki-kun, wouldn't you want to go with Tohru?

CheeseMan- Well yes, but we all know if the cat boy doesn't get his way, he's going to throw a fit.

Onigiri- Oh, you're such a gentleman!

Luvpuppy- Yes, yes I know.

MeanChick- SHE WASN'T TALKING TO YOU SHIGURE!

FishFan- SO YOU DO KNOW HER!

Luvpuppy- Okay, I admit it, MeanChick and I are boyfriend and girlfriend.

MeanChick- WHAT?!

FishFan- Who would want to go out with you Shigure?

CheeseMan- MeanChick, I give you sympathy.

MeanChick- SHIGURE AND I ARE NOT TOGETHER!

Luvpuppy- She's a little shy...

MeanChick- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

--MeanChick logs off--

BubbleDragon- I'd better go...

--BubbleDragon logs off--

FishFan- SHIGURE, YOU SCARED HER AWAY!

CheeseMan- Slick move.

FishFan- The only woman on this Earth who would give you chance and you scare her away...

CheeseMan- What a shame...

Luvpuppy- HEY!

ILOVEKYO- IF I CAN'T GO OUT WITH KYO, THEN I'M NOT GOING AT ALL!

FishFan- Good, then it will be much quieter...

ILOVEKYO- (Gasp) YOU ARE SO CRUEL KYO-KUN!

CheeseMan- Kagura, I'll take you to dinner okay? Come on it will be fun.

ILOVEKYO- (Sniff) Okay...at least Yuki-kun is sweet...

FishFan- Okay, why don't we all go out at about 7:00?

Onigiri- Okay! ^_^

CheeseMan- Is that okay with you Kagura?

ILOVEKYO- Yes, that's fine.

CheeseMan- Great, so it's settled?

ILOVEKYO- One more question, Shigure-san, is it okay if I spin the night at your place tonight?

FishFan- NO!

Luvpuppy- Sure you can Kagura! ^_^

FishFan- SHI-GUR-E!!!

ILOVEKYO- Alright, see everyone later!

Onigiri- Bye! ^_^

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

CheeseMan- Serves Kyo right.

FishFan- What did you say, punk?

CheeseMan- I'm sorry, I didn't know you couldn't read...

FishFan- YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH!

Onigiri- Come on everyone, let's not fight! We have to get ready for dinner!

--Onigiri logs off--

CheeseMan- Yeah Kyo, hurry up.

--CheeseMan logs off--

FishFan- I going to kill you right now Shigure.

Luvpuppy- Huh?

--FishFan logs off--

Luvpuppy- Yikes!

--Luvpuppy logs off--

LATER THAT NIGHT

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Okay this is just getting stupid. How am I always on first? And now any minute, Akito will log on.

--Akito logs on--

Luvpuppy- Hi Akito! ^_^

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- Well, jeez...

--BoyToy logs on--

BoyToy- I'm so hot, I'm so fine, and I like peanut butter!

Luvpuppy- Oh great, the circus came to town...

BoyToy- IT DID! OH I WANNA GO! I WANNA GO!

--BoyToy logs off--

Luvpuppy- And I thought Akito was dense...

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- I got good news, and bad news.

Luvpuppy- What is it?

BubbleDragon- The good news is that Akito sold the mom rabbit, and the baby rabbits, but the bad news is, Akito is getting

another playmate for Stinky.

Luvpuppy- It is a BOY playmate...right?

BubbleDragon- Yep. But it's the biggest rabbit I've ever seen!

Luvpuppy- What do you mean?

BubbleDragon- HE'S FAT! The people gave it to Akito for free, because they said that they didn't have enough money to feed it anymore.

Luvpuppy- Really?

BubbleDragon- Yeah! He is three times the size of a regular rabbit. I mean, it's so big it could pass for a dog!

Luvpuppy- Whoa...

BubbleDragon- And you know what else? When Akito is holding the rabbit, nobody can get near Akito, because the rabbit

will bite. And trust me, his bite HURTS!

Luvpuppy- You got bit?

BubbleDragon- (Sigh) Yes, I was trying to give Akito his medicine, and he was holding the little monster...

Luvpuppy- You're funny Haa-san! ^_^

BubbleDragon- I had to get ten stitches...

--Akito logs on--

Akito- Does anyone know why Kureno wants to go to the circus?

Luvpuppy- HA!

Akito- What is so funny?

BubbleDragon- Yes, Shigure what is funny?

Luvpuppy- Oh nothing...nothing at all...

Akito- Whatever, anyways guess what I named my new rabbit!

BubbleDragon- Demon?

Akito- No of course not! Silly Hatori, that name doesn't even suit him!

BubbleDragon- I thought it suits him perfectly...

Akito- What about you Shigure? Guess!

Luvpuppy- Hmmm...let me see...Jumbo?

Akito- WRONG! I named my new rabbit Fatty!

Luvpuppy- FATTY?! What kind of name is Fatty?

Akito- Well he is fat, so you know...

Luvpuppy- You're cruel.

Akito- HE IS!

BubbleDragon- Does Fatty and Stinky get along?

Akito- They sure do! They play together and everything.

BubbleDragon- Akito, how exactly do they play?

Akito- Like all rabbits do, they wrestle.

BubbleDragon- Umm, Akito...rabbits don't wrestle...

Akito- Yes they do. Stinky and Fatty wrestle all the time.

BubbleDragon- Akito, I don't think that your rabbits are playing; I think they're fighting...

Akito- Of course not! Silly Hatori.

BubbleDragon- Akito what are your rabbits doing right now?

Akito- PLAYING! Wait a sec...FATTY IS KILLING STINKY!! Hold on!

BubbleDragon- Nobody trusts the doctor...

Luvpuppy- There, there Haa-san.

--CheeseMan logs on--

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- That was awful...

CheeseMan- Yeah...

Luvpuppy- Gosh, you two are back early. How did dinner go?

Onigiri- Awful...

CheeseMan- Yeah...

Luvpuppy- WHAT HAPPENED?! TELL ME!

BubbleDragon- You love sticking your nose in other people's business, don't you Shigure?

Luvpuppy- SURE DO!

Onigiri- Well, when we all got to dinner, everything was going fine until Kyo kissed me on the cheek...

CheeseMan- I hate him...

Onigiri- ...and then Kagura got upset...

CheeseMan- More like she blew a fuse...

Luvpuppy- WHAT DID SHE DO?! TELL!

CheeseMan- She threw her soup at Kyo.

Onigiri- ...it was still in the bowl...

CheeseMan- It was actually kind of funny. ^_^

Onigiri- Yuki...

CheeseMan- It was!

Luvpuppy- Then what happened?

CheeseMan- She started beating him up in the restaurant. ^_^

BubbleDragon- That must have been quite a sight...

Onigiri- Yeah, I hope he's okay...

Luvpuppy- Well, where is Kyo?

Onigiri- We don't know, he ran off...

CheeseMan- With Kagura in hot pursuit.

Luvpuppy- So you haven't seen him since?

Onigiri- Yeah...

CheeseMan- Yep! And it has been so quiet! ^_^

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- Tohru are you okay?

CheeseMan- I spoke too soon...

Onigiri- Kyo-kun! Are you okay? What happened?

FishFan- I out ran Kagura.

CheeseMan- Right.

FishFan- I DID!

CheeseMan- He probably went in hiding somewhere until Kagura gave up on looking for him.

Luvpuppy- Hehe...knowing Kyo, he probably did.

FishFan- I DID NOT!

Akito- FATTY WON'T LET GO OF STINKY!

FishFan- Who is Fatty?

CheeseMan- Yeah, who is Fatty?

Onigiri- Is that another of your rabbits Akito-san?

Akito- (Gasp) When did all these people get online?!

CheeseMan- Who is Fatty?

Akito- None of your business...AAAAAAHH!!! FATTY STOP! Hold on!

CheeseMan- What is with Akito these days? I mean if getting rabbits wasn't enough, Akito is kind of acting...how do I say this? Akito is acting like a girl.

Luvpuppy- fdhasasasasasasasasasasfioujthnhnhnhnhnhnhnhnhnrtgbn78434e7897

BubbleDragon- ..........

Onigiri- Are you okay Shigure? I think he fainted...

CheeseMan- What? Was it something I said?

FishFan- Yuki always screws up everything.

CheeseMan- Hey!

Akito- FATTY STOP IT! STOP! HE WON'T LET GO OF STINKY! THAT'S IT!

Luvpuppy- Uh...my head hurts...

Akito- FATTY BIT ME!

CheeseMan- Somebody needs to tell me who Fatty is.

FishFan- Akito are you okay?

Akito- I'M FINE! HATORI HELP ME OR STINKY IS GOING TO DIE!!

BubbleDragon- Yeah, yeah...

--BubbleDragon logs off--

Akito- FATTY WON'T STOP! HE IS GOING TO KILL MY WITTLE STINKY!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- That was interesting...

FishFan- WHO IS FATTY?!

CheeseMan- WHO IS FATTY?!

Luvpuppy- I dunno. ^_^

FishFan- STOP COPYING ME YUKI!

CheeseMan- WHY WOULD I WANT TO COPY YOU?! YOUR PERVERSION AND YOUR STUPIDITY WOULD RUB OFF ON ME! LIKE I WOULD WANT THAT!

FishFan- ME?! STUPID?! WHY I OUTTA-

Onigiri- STOP FIGHTING!

Luvpuppy- JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

CheeseMan and FishFan- SHUT UP SHIGURE!!!

Luvpuppy- (Whispering) Jerry...Jerry...Jerry...

Onigiri- Please stop fighting Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun...

CheeseMan- He's not worth it Honda-san... ^_^

FishFan- I'll kill him someday... ^_^

Onigiri- That's better...I guess...

Luvpuppy- *Love will find a way...*

Onigiri- (Blush) Oh my...

CheeseMan and FishFan- SHIGURE!

Luvpuppy- Love makes me hungry...

--Luvpuppy logs off--

FishFan- I'd like to punch his lights out...

CheeseMan- For once I agree with you...

Onigiri- See, isn't fun when you get along?

FishFan- Uh...

CheeseMan- Sure...

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

ILOVEKYO- KYO-KUN!!!!

FishFan- Oh great...

ILOVEKYO- Darling, where did you run off to?

Onigiri- (Confused) Darling?

CheeseMan- (Thinks it's funny) Darling! ^_^

FishFan- (Horrified) DARLING?! HELL NO!

ILOVEKYO- Remember Kyo-kun, I'm sleeping over at Nii-san's house tonight. In fact, I'm already here. I'm in the living room right now.

FishFan- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

--FishFan logs off--

ILOVEKYO- YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME KYO-KUN!

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

CheeseMan- We are in for a very noisy night...

Onigiri- Probably.

CheeseMan- So Honda-san, it's just you and me.

Onigiri- Yeah, just the two of us.

--SnakeSkin logs on--

SnakeSkin- DEAREST BROTHER!

CheeseMan- Oh great!

Onigiri- Hello Ayame-san! ^_^

SnakeSkin- Why hello Tohru-kun! ^_^

CheeseMan- WHY MUST YOU RUIN EVERYTHING?!

SnakeSkin- Well what did I do?

CheeseMan- Oh never mind!

SnakeSkin- (Evil grin) OH I SEE! YOU WANTED TO BE ALONE WITH TOHRU-KUN!

CheeseMan- SHUT UP AYAME!

Onigiri- Ayame-san...

CheeseMan- I HATE YOU! GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T EVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN! DON'T TALK TO ME!

SnakeSkin- (Gasp) Yuki, how could you say such things to Tohru?

CheeseMan- I WAS TALKING TO YOU!

SnakeSkin- Oh Yuki dear, you don't mean that.

CheeseMan- YES I DO!

SnakeSkin- No you don't. ^_^

CheeseMan- Yes I do.

SnakeSkin- No you don't. ^_^

CheeseMan- Yes I do.

SnakeSkin- No you don't. ^_^

CheeseMan- Yes I do.

SnakeSkin- No you don't. ^_^

CheeseMan- Yes I do.

SnakeSkin- No you don't. ^_^

CheeseMan- Yes I do.

SnakeSkin- No you don't. ^_^

CheeseMan- YES I DO! QUIT ARGUING WITH ME! YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS! I MEANT EVERYTHING I SAID, EVERYTHING!

SnakeSkin- Oh...

Onigiri- Yuki-kun...

CheeseMan- Fine, Ayame, I'm sorry.

SnakeSkin- OH YUKI, I KNEW YOU CARED! ^_^

CheeseMan- I'm leaving.

--CheeseMan logs off--

SnakeSkin- He loves me. ^_^

--SnakeSkin logs off--

Onigiri- OH MY GOODNESS, I FORGOT TO DO THE LAUNDRY!

--Onigiri logs off--

**A/N: I don't know what it is with me and Aktio and rabbits. It just seems like the LEAST LIKELY thing he would have. Maybe because I'm on a sugar rush…oh well! I how you liked it non-the-less. PLEASE REVIEW ME!!**


	22. Chapter 22: Peanut Butter

**A/N: OMG! WE'VE PASSED 100 REVIEWS! Thank you guys SO much for that, it makes me feel great. But I have gotten some reviews asking me why the story is getting so weird. Well, um...it's supposed to be weird. It's a funny, stupid fanfic that's meant to make you laugh. It isn't supposed to make much sense, and it only gets weirder, trust me! ^_^ I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**---**

Chapter 22: Peanut Butter

WHAT HAPPENED THE NEXT DAY

Akito- I guess getting rid of Fatty was the best thing to do...I hope he gets a good home...

(Meanwhile, Kureno was carrying Fatty through the estate wondering what to do with him)

Kureno- Gosh this thing is heavy...I wonder what to do with him...

(Kureno thinks for a moment)

Kureno- I KNOW!

LATER THAT NIGHT

Akito- The servants better have dinner ready, cause I'm starving.

(Akito walks into the kitchen and the cooks were just putting supper on the table)

Akito- WHAT SMELLS SO GOOD?!

(Akito rushed to the table and sat down, and the cook set down what looked like a bowl of soup in front of him)

Akito- YUMMY!

(Akito took a sip of the soup and smiled)

Akito- Cook, what is this marvelous soup? What is it called?

Cook- Oh Akito-san, you like it?

Akito- LIKE IT?! I LOVE IT! THIS IS THE BEST SOUP I'VE EVER TASTED! YOU MUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS!

(Akito was about to take another sip of the soup when the cook answered his question)

Cook- That Akito-san is rabbit soup.

(Akito blinked and put down the spoon)

Akito- What?

Cook- That is rabbit soup.

Akito- Rabbit soup? When in the world did we get rabbit soup?

Cook- Since Kureno brought Fatty in.

(Akito jumped up from the table)

Akito- YOU COOKED FATTY?! WHAT?! WHY?!

Cook- Well, you didn't want him anymore Akito-san...

Akito- THAT GIVES YOU NO RIGHT TO KILL HIM, LET ALONE COOK HIM!

(Akito's eyes grew wide and he took a step back)

Akito- I JUST ATE PART OF FATTY! HOW COULD YOU SERVE ME MY OWN RABBIT FOR DINNER?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

Cook- But Akito-san, you said that you liked it...

Akito- THAT IS BEFORE I KNEW WHAT IT WAS!

(Akito began wiping his mouth)

Akito- UGH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! POOR FATTY! HOW COULD YOU?!

Cook- Kureno-san was the one that gave your permission...

Akito- WHAT?!

(Kureno was about to walk downstairs to get some food, when he saw the look on Akito's face and then began walking back up the stairs backwards)

Akito- YOU'RE FIRED! WHOEVER KILLED FATTY IS FIRED! YOU ARE ALL FIRED! FIRED! FIRED! FIRED!

(Just then Ren came down the stairs and sat down at the table. Another servant had already placed a bowl of soup in her spot)

(Ren took a sip of the soup)

Ren- What is this delicious food?

Akito- (Gasp) STOP EATING FATTY! STOP IT! STOP IT! DON'T YOU TAKE ONE MORE BITE OF THAT!

(Ren took another sip)

Ren- My, my this is so good.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito rushed up to Ren)

Akito- STOP EATING THAT! GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW!

(Ren shrugged)

Ren- Okay if you say so.

(Ren splashed the hot soup on Akito)

Akito- THAT'S HOT! (Gasp) YOU SPILLED FATTY! PICK HIM UP!

(Ren shrugged again)

Ren- Okay.

(Ren walked into the kitchen and got a mop and started mopping up the spilled "Fatty")

Akito- STOP IT! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING! NO! NO! QUIT MOPPING UP FATTY!

Ren- FATTY IS DEAD!

(Akito stopped yelling and turned around, and went to his room)

Akito- I HATE HER!

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- KUR-EN-O!

(Kureno was halfway to his room when he heard Akito's voice)

Kureno- I GOTTA HIDE!

(Akito waited for a few moments)

Akito- KURENO COME HERE!

(Five more minutes passed)

Akito- KURENO! COME HERE THIS INSTANT!

(Akito waited for another few minutes then stomped his foot)

Akito- KUR-EN-O! IF YOU DON'T COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, I WILL COME AFTER YOU!

(Kureno sat in his room hiding behind his bed with his laptop)

Kureno- Since I'm going to be hiding for awhile, I might as well get online so I'm not bored...

(Akito began looking for Kureno throughout the estate)

Akito- He's got to be here somewhere...

MEANWHILE

--BoyToy logs on--

BoyToy- NOBODY IS ONLINE! HOW BORING!

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- Kureno? Is that you?

BoyToy- Huh? Oh hello, Yuki.

CheeseMan- Hey, I never really got to ask you this, but why is your user name BoyToy?

BoyToy- Umm...

CheeseMan- Come on, tell me.

BoyToy- You don't want to know.

CheeseMan- Yes I do. If I didn't then I wouldn't be asking.

BoyToy- Umm...

CheeseMan- Oh, hold on I have to send an e-mail to Kagura.

E-mail-

Look behind the couch.

-CheeseMan

CheeseMan- There. Now she will find Kyo for sure! Oh hey, she's e-mailing me back!

E-mail-

Thanks Yuki-kun! ^_^

-ILOVEKYO

CheeseMan- Any minute now...

BoyToy- Any minute for what?

CheeseMan- I HEARD HIM SCREAM! SHE FOUND HIM! HAHA!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Kyo is too loud...

CheeseMan- You heard it too? ^_^

Luvpuppy- Let me guess, you told Kagura where Kyo was hiding?

CheeseMan- OF COURSE I DID! That's what he gets for kissing Honda-san!

Luvpuppy- You're still mad about that? You are so jealous.

CheeseMan- AM NOT!

BoyToy- Peanut butter is fascinating, don't you think?

CheeseMan- Huh?

Luvpuppy- I didn't know that Kureno was online.

BoyToy- I think I would die if I didn't have peanut butter...

Luvpuppy- What is so interesting about peanut butter?

BoyToy- BECAUSE IT GOES TOGETHER PERFECTLY WITH JELLY!

CheeseMan- This guy is weird...

Luvpuppy- Finally, someone agrees with me.

BoyToy- Do you like peanut butter Shigure?

Luvpuppy- Hmm...I really don't know...

CheeseMan- I hate peanut butter.

BoyToy- (Gasp) WHY?!

CheeseMan- It tastes funny.

BoyToy- IT DOES NOT! IT TASTES LIKE HEAVEN!

--Akito logs on--

Akito- KURENO! WHERE ARE YOU HIDING?!

BoyToy- HA! Like I would tell you.

Akito- YOU SORRY RABBIT KILLER!

Luvpuppy- Rabbit killer?

CheeseMan- Which rabbit?

Akito- (Gasp) HOW DO PEOPLE JUST POP UP LIKE THAT?!

Luvpuppy- Akito, Yuki and I were on BEFORE you got on.

Akito- Oh that explains it...

BoyToy- What do you mean "Rabbit Killer?"

Akito- YOU KILLED FATTY! YOU LET THE COOKS COOK FATTY, AND I ATE PART OF HIM! YOU MURDERER!

BoyToy- You didn't want him anymore.

Akito- MURDERER! FIEND! KILLER! RABBIT HATER! EVIL! CRUEL! MONSTER! I HATE YOU!

Kureno- (Sigh) I didn't know that you would get so mad.

Akito- (Sobbing) POOR FATTY! POOR, POOR INNOCENT FATTY!

Luvpuppy- Oh, Akito-san, I understand your pain.

CheeseMan- I better go, it sounds like Kyo is getting beat up! ^_^

--CheeseMan logs off--

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- FATTY IS DEAD?! HURRAY! HURRAY!

Akito- WHAT?!

BubbleDragon- Oh, Akito...I mean...uh...oh how sad...

Akito- POOR FATTY!

BoyToy- Don't worry Akito, he probably had a quick painless death.

Luvpuppy- Yes Akito, they probably just cut his head off.

Akito- CUT OF HIS HEAD?!

Luvpuppy- Yes, how horrible...

BoyToy- YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE SHIGURE!!!

Akito- I HATE YOU KURENO! I HATE YOU SO, SO, SO, MUCH!!!!

--Akito logs off--

Luvpuppy- HURRAY! OH HAPPY DAY! AKITO HATES KURENO! AKITO HATES KURENO! FINALLY!

BoyToy- You make me sick.

Luvpuppy- Yeah, I hear that a lot. Now, if you'll excuse me, I shall go, shall we say, "comfort" my dearest Akito-san.

--Luvpuppy logs off--

BoyToy- AGH!

--BoyToy logs off--

BubbleDragon- Sometimes, I feel that I'm surrounded by idiots...

--BubbleDragon logs off--

**A/N: Okay so there is chapter 22. Did you like it? Let me know. Give me ideas. REVIEW! (I love Kureno's new love for peanut butter. I don't know why I chose peanut butter, I just did. LOL**


	23. Chapter 23: That Woman

A/N: Okay the reviews are just piling up, and I want to thank all of you who read (and are reading) this story. Thanks for all of your support, and I hope you enjoy this short chapter.

---

Chapter 23: That Woman

THE NEXT DAY

--Akito logs on--

Akito- UGH! That woman makes me SICK!

--ThatWoman logs on--

ThatWoman- Hello my dearest Akito.

Akito- AGH!

ThatWoman- Are you surprised to see me?

Akito- How did you-?

ThatWoman- It took me forever to find out the password you used to block me from this site, but then I thought for a moment and then realized it must have something to do with Stinky.

Akito- AAAAAAH! GO AWAY! NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- Why, hello, Ren-san! ^_^

ThatWoman- Hello Shigure, it's been a long time...

Luvpuppy- Yes, it has...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! DON'T TALK TO THAT WOMAN! YOU ARE MINE! MINE! MINE!

--BlackFlower logs on--

BlackFlower- Hello.

ThatWoman- So, Shigure how have you been?

Luvpuppy- Fine, what about you?

BlackFlower- I sense strange waves...

Akito- Waves?! Who in the-

Luvpuppy- SAKI! How are you?

Akito- Who is Saki?

BlackFlower- Oh is that you Shigure?

Luvpuppy- Yes it is! ^_^

ThatWoman- Come by my room later Shigure...

Luvpuppy- Maybe I will...

Akito- NO! NO! NO! I'LL KILL YOU!

BlackFlower- So strange...

--BoyToy logs on--

BoyToy- Did you know peanut butter can fit into tiny little candies?

Akito- Huh?

Luvpuppy- Kureno? Oh great...

ThatWoman- Why, hello Kureno...

BoyToy- Uh, hi...

Akito- QUIT TALKING TO MEMBERS OF MY ZODIAC!

BlackFlower- I should go...

--BlackFlower logs off--

ThatWoman- I'm sure my bed can fit more than two, Kureno.

Akito- ACK!

BoyToy- Uh, I'll pass...

Luvpuppy- Oh but Kureno, you'll miss out on all the fun! ^_^

ThatWoman- Yes, Kureno, you will.

Akito- DON'T LISTEN TO HER! SHIGURE, YOU ARE NOT TO GO ANYWHERE NEAR THAT WOMAN!

ThatWoman- Aww, is Akito jealous?

Akito- NO I AM NOT!

Luvpuppy- Well, I couldn't go anyways Ren, I was planning to go to Akito's room tonight...

Akito- HUH?!

BoyToy- They can even put peanut butter in cereal! HOW DO THEY DO THAT?!

ThatWoman- You're lucky Akito.

Akito- But-

Luvpuppy- Yes, I promised Akito I would help him cope with the loss of Fatty tonight...

Akito- Wait a sec-

Luvpuppy- And Akito was just begging me to come, and I couldn't turn him down...

Akito- Hold on for just a-

Luvpuppy- Sorry.

ThatWoman- I see...

Luvpuppy- I hope you understand...

Akito- HEY WAIT- !

ThatWoman- I think Hatori's still in his office...

--ThatWoman logs off--

Akito- HATORI! SHIGURE! HELP ME! CALL AYAME, AND TELL HIM TO CALL HATORI TO WARN HIM SO HE WILL BE SAFE FROM THAT EVIL WITCH!

Luvpuppy- So am I coming over to your room tonight?

Akito- CALL HATORI!

Luvpuppy- Okay, okay...

BoyToy- THEY MAKE IT IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS! IT'S AMAZING!!

Akito- What are you talking about?

BoyToy- PEANUT BUTTER!!

Akito- Ugh, you disgust me! How can you think of PEANUT BUTTER of all things at a time like this?!

BoyToy- Can I go out tonight?

Akito- PEANUT BUTTER! I MEAN COME ON- WAIT A MINUTE! YOU MURDERED FATTY! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE TONIGHT!

BoyToy- But why?

Akito- I JUST TOLD YOU WHY! DO YOU EVEN LISTEN?!

BoyToy- BUT IT'S IMPORTANT!

Akito- Hm? How so?

BoyToy- Uh, well...please? I'M BEGGING YOU!! I'll tell you what, if you let me go out tonight, I will ignore your mom for a year.

Akito- YOU SHOULD DO THAT ALREADY! AND ONE MORE THING! DO NOT REFER TO THAT WOMAN AS MY MOTHER!

BoyToy- But she is-

Akito- I'M GONNA-

Luvpuppy- Do you know that Stinky is running loose throughout the estate?

Akito- STINKY!! NO!!

Luvpuppy- And Ren is going after him with a butcher knife...

Akito- RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! MY STINKY!!!

--Akito logs off--

BoyToy- So is that a yes?

Luvpuppy- Hmmm...I'm hungry...

--Luvpuppy logs off--

BoyToy- I'll take that as a yes. ^_^

--BoyToy logs off--

A/N: Again I apologize for the shortness. I know many of you are wanting to reach through my computer and strangle me as I type this, so I'm sorry. I will try to update as soon as possible, and I'm BEGGING YOU, please review! Thanks. ^_^ 


	24. Chapter 24: Vacation Time

**A/N: OMG THIS TOOK SO LONG! (Only a few days, but...) I AM SO SO SO SORRY! (Ritsu much. ^_^) Please enjoy this chapter! ^_^ Thank you.**

**---**

Chapter 24: Vacation Time

THE NEXT DAY

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- I am so bored...

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- Shigure, what are you doing?

Luvpuppy- I'm on the computer. ^_^

FishFan- That's not what I meant!

Luvpuppy- I know! ^_^

FishFan- You're so annoying!

Luvpuppy- I know! ^_^

FishFan- Shigure, are you as bored as I am?

Luvpuppy- Yes, as a matter of fact, I was hoping you would say that.

FishFan- Why?

Luvpuppy- Because, we are going on a vacation!

FishFan- What kind of vacation?

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- The perfect vacation would be without Kyo.

FishFan- No, the PERFECT vacation, would be without Yuki.

Luvpuppy- Well too bad, because we are all going on a vacation!

FishFan- But-

Luvpuppy- EVERYONE IS GOING!

CheeseMan- Ha! ^_^

FishFan- (Sigh) Well, where are we going on vacation?

Luvpuppy- Guess. ^_^

CheeseMan- Hawaii?

Luvpuppy- No. ^_^

FishFan- Florida?

Luvpuppy- No. ^_^

CheeseMan- United States?

Luvpuppy- No. ^_^

FishFan- Alaska?

CheeseMan- I AM NOT GOING TO ALASKA!!

FishFan- Antarctica?

CheeseMan- EVEN WORSE!! Kyo quit guessing, you're bad at that.

FishFan- WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Luvpuppy- HE YOU GUYS, QUIT FIGHTING, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GUESSING!!!

FishFan- (Sigh) Fine! Umm...Africa?

Luvpuppy- NOT EVEN CLOSE!!

CheeseMan- THEN WHERE?!

Luvpuppy- Okay, I'll tell you. We are going...

CheeseMan- Yes?

Luvpuppy- CAMPING!!!!!!!!!

FishFan- HUH?!

CheeseMan- WHAT?!

Luvpuppy- Camping. You know, like tents and stuff. Aren't you excited?

CheeseMan- Oh god.

FishFan- I'm going to kill him.

Luvpuppy- What? You don't want to go on my wonderful journey?

FishFan- OF COURSE NOT!

CheeseMan- Tents...

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Hello everyone! ^_^

Luvpuppy- (Whining) TOHRU-KUN!!!! KYO AND YUKI ARE REFUSING TO GO ON MY WONDERFUL TRIP!!!

CheeseMan- AREN'T YOU TO OLD TO TELL ON PEOPLE???!!!

FishFan- DON'T BRING TOHRU INTO THIS!!!!

Onigiri- Trip? What trip?

Luvpuppy- Tohru, I want to take everyone out camping, and Kyo and Yuki are refusing to go!!!

Onigiri- I like camping...

FishFan- I'M NOT GOING!!

CheeseMan- Tents...

Luvpuppy- Tohru will you go?

Onigiri- Of course! ^_^

FishFan- WHAT?!

CheeseMan- HONDA-SAN!!

Luvpuppy- YAY!! ^_^ Don't worry Kyo and Yuki, Tohru and I will go I'll by ourselves...heeheehee... ^_^

FishFan- HELL NO!! I'M GOING!!

CheeseMan- I'M GOING TOO!!!

Onigiri- Uh...

Luvpuppy- HA! Works every time...

FishFan- Well, I'm sharing a tent with Tohru.

Onigiri- Okay. ^_^

Luvpuppy- Ooh, I see... ^_^

CheeseMan- NO WAY!! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HONDA-SAN!!!

Luvpuppy- Kyo and Tohru are lovers... ^_^

Onigiri- Oh, umm... (Blushing)

FishFan- WE ARE...not... (Blushing)

Luvpuppy- Right.

CheeseMan- NO!

Luvpuppy- Don't worry boys, Tohru and I will share a tent together! ^_^

Onigiri- Okay. ^_^

FishFan and CheeseMan- IN YOUR DREAMS SHIGURE!!

Luvpuppy- (Sniff) It was worth a try...

CheeseMan- I don't know how this is going to end up, but I can say one thing, Honda-san IS NOT sharing a tent with Shigure OR Kyo!

FishFan- THAT JUST LEAVES YOU STUPID!

CheeseMan- Exactly. ^_^

Onigiri- I don't mind sharing a tent with Yuki-kun...

FishFan- YES YOU DO!

Onigiri- Okay...

Luvpuppy- We will settle this later, let s go pack.

--Luvpuppy logs off--

Onigiri- Okay. ^_^

--Onigiri logs off--

FishFan- YOU ARE NOT SHARING A TENT WITH TOHRU YUKI!

CheeseMan- We will see.

FishFan- Huh?

--CheeseMan logs off--

FishFan- ARGH!

--FishFan logs off--

LATER THAT DAY

(Everyone was packing their bags after Tohru had made dinner)

Kyo- What should I bring?

Yuki- How about a roll of duct tape? Then maybe we can enjoy ourselves.

Kyo- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Yuki- It means that you'll be quiet.

Kyo- WHY I OUTTA-!

Tohru- I wonder what I should bring...oh I know!

Yuki- What are you bringing Honda-san?

Tohru- A camera! So that way we can take pictures for Akito-san and the rest of the Zodiac!

Kyo- Great. (twitch)

Yuki- I love the idea. (twitch)

(Shigure was in his room, packing things and Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru walked over to see what he was going to bring with him)

Yuki- Shigure what are you going to bring?

Shigure- Hmm? Oh just some books.

Onigiri- Oh what kind of books!

(Shigure gave them a weird smile)

Shigure- Romance.

(Yuki scowled, and with Kyo's help, took Tohru out of the room)

Shigure- WHAT?! THEY'RE NOT BAD BOOKS!! THEY'RE VERY INTERESTING, AND ROMANTIC, AND WHEN TWO PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER-

(Kyo screamed and put his hands over Tohru's ears)

Tohru- Uh...Kyo-kun...

Kyo- It's okay Tohru I'm here.

Yuki- Now I'm starting to think we might need the duct tape for Shigure, not you...

Kyo- I could have told you that.

Tohru- Kyo?

(Kyo moved his hands off Tohru's ears)

Kyo- Tohru, don't listen to Shigure.

Shigure- Maybe Tohru should read one of my books and see how she likes it.

Kyo- AGH!

(Kyo did an about-face and stomped back into Shigure's room)

Shigure- AAAAAH! KYO I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY IT!

Kyo- TOHRU IS NOT, AND I MEAN NOT READING YOUR DIGUSTING, FILTHY, GROSS, PERVERTED, SICKENING BOOKS!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND???!!

Shigure- Y-yes sir!

Tohru- Oh dear...

(Kyo marched back out of Shigure's room and walked up to Tohru)

Kyo- Let's go.

Tohru- Okay. Do you want me to help you pack?

(Kyo smiled)

Kyo- Yes that would be great.

Yuki- Hey, I'll start packing the-

(Yuki suddenly stopped)

Tohru- The what?

(Yuki put his hands over his eyes)

Yuki- (Sniff) ...sleeping bags...

Kyo- Oh great!

(Tohru touched both of their arms)

Tohru- Sleeping bags might not be that comfortable, but at least I got my two of my best friends with me!

Yuki- I'm sure that we will have a lot of fun Honda-san. ^_^

Kyo- Yeah. ^_^

(While Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki were packing, Shigure went to the telephone to make an "important" call)

(Shigure calls Akito)

Akito's cell phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Akito- Oh no! It's the tax collector!

(Akito answers the phone)

Akito- Hello?

Shigure- Hello? Is this Akito Sohma?

Akito- Uh...yes...

Shigure- This is your tax collector.

Akito- Uh...I paid my taxes...

Shigure- No you didn't.

Akito- Uh...

Shigure- Akito, this is Shigure.

Akito- WHAT?! WHY YOU-

Shigure- Hey listen, I have an offer that you just can't pass up!

Akito- What do you want?

Shigure- A night with me, in a tent, what do you say?

Akito- With you?! I'll pass.

Shigure- But-

Akito- WAIT, DID YOU SAY A TENT??!!

Shigure- Yeah, you wanna come?

Akito- No. Wait, come where?

Shigure- Kyo, Yuki, Tohru and I are going on a camping trip!

Akito- Oh. No thanks.

Shigure- But why? I have a double sleeping bag... ^_^

Akito- And even if I did come, what makes you think that I would share the same sleeping bag as you?

Shigure- Because, I'm bringing chocolate covered strawberries...

Akito- LEAVE ME ALONE!

(Akito hangs up)

Shigure- Sounds like he's dying to come. ^_^

(Akito sat in his room shaking his head)

Akito- He's like a stalker...that's in my family...

LATER THAT NIGHT

Shigure- Are we all ready to go?

Tohru- Yes. ^_^

Kyo- NO! I CAN'T FIND MY SHIRT!

Yuki- Oh that was your shirt? Oops...heehee...I thought that was trash.

Kyo- YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!

Yuki- AND IF I DID?! YOU DID THE SAME THING WITH MY PANTS!!

Kyo- Huh? Oh yeah...hahaha...

Shigure- Not to worry my insanely aggressive children, I have brought a change of clothes for all of us just in case.

Kyo- INSANELY AGGRESSIVE???!! WHAT THE HELL??!!

Shigure- My point exactly, now I just have to make one more phone call to Aaya...

(Kyo and Yuki jumped up)

Yuki- Don't...you...move...

(Yuki left the room for a moment, and then came back)

Shigure- I'll just go make my call...

Yuki- Good luck with that.

(Shigure left the room, but then screamed)

Shigure- YU-KI!!! YOU CUT MY PHONE LINE!!!

Yuki- What? I would never! (Snicker, snicker)

Shigure- I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE AAYA THING!! I HAVE TO CALL HATORI TO TAKE US TO THE CAMP SITE!!!!

Yuki- I don't trust you.

Shigure- HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET THERE THEN?

Yuki- We'll hike.

Kyo- Genius Yuki, now we have to walk the whole way!

Yuki- More time to spend with Honda-san. ^_^

Tohru- Aww, Yuki-kun how sweet...

(Kyo's eyes began to twitch)

Kyo's Mind- DO IT FOR TOHRU!

Kyo- Hiking...sounds...great...

**A/N: So omg the Sohma's are going camping! How do you think THAT will go? Well anyway, sorry this update took so long, I hope you enjoyed it and please review to tell me what you think!**


	25. Chapter 25: Akito's Hiking Song

**A/N: Okay so here is chapter 25. Wow, we have come so far! I wished I owned Fruits Basket, but I don't, so boohoo to me... Oh well, please enjoy!**

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Chapter 25: Akito's Hiking Song

THE NEXT MORNING

(The time is 6:00AM)

Kyo- (Asleep) Mmm...so sleepy...

Shigure- Wake up Kyo-kun, we have to start our hike early.

Kyo- (Asleep) No.

Tohru- Come on Kyo-kun, time to wake up. ^_^

Yuki- Wake up idiot.

Kyo- (Half asleep) Tohru? Is that you?

Tohru- Yes. ^_^

(Kyo grabbed Yuki's hand)

Kyo- (Half asleep) My beautiful Tohru...

Shigure- Heehee... ^_^

Yuki- ACK!

(Yuki punched Kyo over the head causing Kyo to bolt up)

Kyo- Huh? What? I'm up!

Tohru- Oh Kyo-kun, you're funny! ^_^

(Kyo looked up and saw that Yuki was giving him a dirty look)

Yuki- Disgusting...

Kyo- WHAT DO YOU WANT DAMN RAT??!! YOU WANNA FIGHT??!!

(Kyo jumped out of bed, but Shigure put up a hand)

Shigure- Now, now Kyo, I'm sure you don't want me to call Kagura, do you?

(Kyo looked away)

Kyo- (Sigh) Fine, I get it...

Yuki- Get dressed; we are going on our hike.

(Kyo got dressed, and in a few minutes Kyo, Yuki, Shigure, and Tohru were hiking to the camp site)

MEANWHILE

Kureno- Akito, wake up.

Akito- (Asleep) Mmm...no...

Kureno- Akito, open your eyes.

(Akito turned over in his bed)

Akito- (Asleep) No.

Kureno- Akito it's important.

Akito- (Half asleep) What time is it?

Kureno- 6:37AM.

Akito- (Half asleep) No. Nothing is important at 6:37AM.

Kureno- Akito...

Akito- No. Go away.

Kureno- It's about Shigure.

Akito- (Awake) Thanks for waking me up, now what is it?

Kureno- Shigure called, and said you had to be up.

Akito- I had to be up? For what?

Kureno- He said you were going on the camping trip with them, and he said you had to be up early.

Akito- HUH?! CAMPING TRIP?! I'M NOT GOING ON ANY CAMPING TRIP!!

Kureno- Well he said-

Akito- I don't care what he said! You woke me up for no reason, go away!

(Akito put a pillow over his head)

(Right then a servant walked in and pulled Akito out of bed)

Servant- Wakey, wakey Akito-san, you'll be late for the camping trip!

Akito- I TOLD YOU, I AINT GOING ON NO STUPID CAMPING TRIP!

(Five minutes later Akito was in a Sohma limo, with his luggage, on his way to the camp site)

Akito- (Yawn) This is so boring...

(Akito looked out his window and a little ways away saw Shigure, Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru hiking up a hill)

Akito- What are they doing?

(Just then a rabbit ran in front of the Sohma limo, and Akito screamed and grabbed the wheel)

Akito- DON'T HIT THE RABBIT!!

Driver- AKITO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING??!!

(Akito made the driver swerve and missed the rabbit, but didn't come anywhere near missing the big tree that was in front of them)

CRASH!!!!

(From down below, Shigure, Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki heard the sound of the crash)

Yuki- What was that?

Kyo- Sounded like a car crash...

Tohru- Oh my...

Shigure- Probably some wackos who don't know how to drive.

(Meanwhile, Akito was opening his eyes)

Akito- Am I dead?

Driver- YOU MADE US CRASH!! THE SOHMA LIMO IS TOTALLED!

Akito- Is the rabbit okay?

Driver- Huh? Oh, yeah I think so.

Akito- Good. One more thing, you're fired.

Driver- WHAT?! WHY?!

(Akito stepped out of the car)

Akito- BECAUSE YOU MADE US CRASH!!

(Akito grabbed his luggage from the trunk and walked after Shigure and the others while trying hard not to be seen)

Shigure- Does anyone have the feeling that we're being followed?

Yuki- Now that you mention it...

Tohru- I hope not...

Kyo- Who would want to follow us?

Shigure- Oh, don't worry, it's probably just Jason.

Kyo- J-Jason?

Yuki- You mean the character from that horror film?

Shigure- No Yuki, I mean the bear from the woods.

Tohru- B-Bear?

Yuki- There is no such thing.

Shigure- I wouldn't be so sure. It says in the brochure that there is a bear named Jason around.

(Yuki grabbed the brochure)

Yuki- Give me that.

Kyo- Does it say anything about a bear?

Yuki- Why? Are you scared? (Snicker, snicker)

Kyo- NO!

(Yuki looked at the brochure for a moment then handed it back to Shigure)

Yuki- Well, it's lying.

Shigure- How can a BROCHURE lie?

Yuki- I don't know, but it is.

Tohru- So there IS a bear?

Yuki- No, Honda-san.

Tohru- Oh good! ^_^

Kyo- Yeah, I knew that there wasn't a bear; I was just playing around...

Yuki- Right...

Kyo- I WAS!!

Shigure- There it is!

(Shigure pointed ahead to see a nice peaceful camp site)

Tohru- Hurray, we made it!

Yuki- Finally...

Shigure- Let's start setting up camp. ^_^

Tohru- Okay. ^_^

(Everyone started putting up the huge tent Shigure brought)

(Meanwhile, Akito had stopped about half a mile away)

Akito- This is where I make camp.

(Akito reached his hand into his bag and pulled out a tent that was fit for one person)

Akito- What the hell is this?

(Akito pulled out the directions Kureno gave him for setting up a tent)

Akito- (Reading directions)-

1. This is a tent.

2. Take out the pegs and the strings.

(Akito reached into his bag and pulled out pegs and strings)

3. Pick up Arisa at 7:00.

Akito- Huh? Is that part of the directions?

4. Set up the tent.

Akito- THAT'S NO HELP!!

(Akito struggled with the tent for a few hours before he got it set up right)

Akito- So...tired...

(Meanwhile, Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, and Shigure had already set up their tent, and got a camp fire going)

Tohru- This is so nice!

Kyo- I've got to admit, Shigure this was a pretty good idea.

Shigure- Yep! ^_^ So what do you think about my double tent?

Kyo- It's okay, as long as I get to share one with Tohru...

(Yuki's eyes were twitching, and in his mind he was thinking to himself)

Yuki's Mind- Honda-san needs to be happy on this trip, so I guess...

Yuki- Kyo?

Kyo- Yeah?

Yuki- If you want...to share...a tent...with Honda-san...that's okay...with...me...

Kyo- Really?

Yuki- NO! I mean...yes...

Tohru- Oh Yuki, you're so sweet! ^_^

Shigure- Looks like Yuki is going to be sleeping in the same tent as me! ^_^

Yuki- That's what I'm afraid of...

Shigure- Not to worry, I don't move around in my sleep...too much...

Yuki- Too much?!

(Meanwhile Akito had pulled out another set of directions Kureno had given him, but this one was how to start a fire)

Akito- (Reading Directions)-

1. Keep a bucket of water handy.

Akito- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???!!! I don't even have a bucket of water...

2. Look in bag.

(Akito looked in his bag and saw a small bucket)

Akito- Oh. But how do I get water?

3. Follow step #2.

(Akito looked in his bag again and saw large jugs of water)

Akito- Okay...

4. Put SOME of the water in the bucket.

(Akito poured a little bit of water in the bucket)

Akito- I guess that's enough...

5. Not enough water. Pour more.

(Akito looked at the directions)

Akito- That's weird...

(Akito poured more water into the bucket)

6. Dig a small hole a little ways away from the tent.

Akito- DIG?! WITH WHAT??!

7. Follow step #2.

(Akito looked in his bag to see a small shovel)

Akito- Wow, how convenient.

(Akito dug a small hole away from the tent)

8. Get medium sized rocks, and put them around the hole.

Akito- WHERE AM I GOING TO GET ROCKS??!!

9. Follow step #2.

(Akito looked in his bag yet again to see another bag, and it was full of rocks)

Akito- THAT'S WHY MY BAG WAS SO HEAVY!!

(Akito placed the rocks around the hole he dug)

10. Put sticks and twigs in the hole.

Akito- I'm not even going to ask where those are...

11. Follow step #2.

(Sure enough, sticks and twigs were in Akito's bag, and he then put them in the hole)

12. Get matches out of your bag.

(Akito got a match from his bag)

Akito- What am I supposed to do with this?

13. Light the match, and throw it into the hole.

(Akito lit the match and threw it into the hole, and then he had a fire going)

Akito- What next?

14. Arisa likes roses.

Akito- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??!! WHO IS ARISA??!!

(Meanwhile, Kyo had walked into the tent to see what Tohru was doing)

Kyo- Tohru? What are you doing?

(Tohru was lying down reading a book)

Tohru- Kyo? Oh, I'm just reading one of Shigure's books. It's actually quite interesting.

(Kyo screamed and grabbed the book out of Tohru's hands)

Kyo- TOHRU NO! YOUR MIND IS PURE!

Tohru- Huh?

Kyo- MY POINT EXACTLY! DON'T EVER, EVER PICK UP ONE OF THESE BOOKS AGAIN!!

Tohru- I'm sorry...

(Kyo sighed and left the tent)

(A few minutes later Tohru, changed her clothes, and left them on the floor of tent when she saw another one of Shigure's books)

Tohru- (Reading the title) Moonlight Madness...hmmm...

(Tohru sat down and began reading the book, but in a few minutes decided to walk out of the tent to get some fresh air)

Tohru- (Reading out loud) The two of them loved each other very much...

(Kyo looked her way and saw that she was reading another romance novel)

Kyo- AAAAAAH! TOHRU!

(Kyo jumped up, and attempting to grab the book out of Tohru's hand, tripped and fell onto her causing himself to transform)

Kyo- TOHRU GIVE ME THAT BOOK THIS INSTANT!!

(Tohru didn't pay attention to the whining Kyo, and just began walking toward the lake still reading the book)

Tohru- (Reading out loud) Although their parents didn't approve of their love, they still promised that they would find a way to be together...

Kyo- TOHRU!!!!

(Kyo followed Tohru until they were far away from the camp site)

(Meanwhile Akito was sitting at his camp site)

Akito- (Sigh) I'm so bored...I wonder what I can do?

(Akito dug around in his bag until he found a paper that said, "What You Can Do For Activities")

Akito- Hmm, let s see...

1. Go on a hike.

Akito- IF I GO ON I HIKE I'LL GET LOST!!

2. If you don't want to get lost, mark your trail.

Akito- Mark my trail? With what?

3. Follow step #2 from other list.

(Akito looked in his bag to see a bunch of rabbit stickers)

Akito- KURENO YOU'RE BRILLIANT!

4. It was Hatori's idea.

Akito- Whatever. It's like this stupid list is trying to be smart.

5. I'm not trying to be smart Akito.

(Akito dropped the list and jumped up)

Akito- Okay, now that's just freaky!

(Akito looked at his stickers)

Akito- Well I guess I'm going on a hike. What should I take with me?

(Akito dug through his bag, and decided that he should take 6 things)

Akito- First, I will take this bar of soap because it is as hard as a rock, and if there is any wackos out there, I can throw it at them. Second, I will take an extra set of clothes in case I lose this pair. Third, I will take a flashlight so if it gets dark, I will be able to see! Fourth, I will take this single match, so I can burn down Shigure's camp site, MUHAHAHA! Fifth, I will take a towel in case I have to carry home a poor defenseless rabbit. And sixth, I am taking my beautiful rabbit stickers so I won't get lost! ^_^

(As Akito packed these things in a smaller bag he seemed pretty proud of himself, meanwhile Yuki had just decided to go check on Tohru)

Yuki- Tohru? What's up?

(Yuki stepped into the tent and saw Tohru's clothes lying on the floor)

Yuki- What the-?

(Yuki took one step outside of the tent and looked down to see Kyo's clothes)

Yuki- Kyo... (Gasp) HONDA-SAN AND KYO ARE NAKED BY THEMSELVES!!

Yuki- Now if I were Kyo, where would I hide that people would least likely think I would go to?

(Yuki thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers)

Yuki- THE LAKE!!!

(Yuki took off in a fast run towards the lake)

(Meanwhile, Akito had started his hike)

Akito- Lets see I'll put the biggest sticker on this tree...

(Akito smiled, and walked further and further into the forest, he soon got so happy that he made up a song as he hiked)

Akito's Hiking Song-

I am hiking through the woods, I'm having so much fun, and Hatori is brilliant!

I like hiking; It is so much fun, Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!!!!

CHORUS

I see the trees, I see frogs, I see rabbits, and time to mark a tree!

I see rocks, I see bugs...bugs aren't that cool though...oh well! Time to mark a tree!

I am Akito Sohma, my rabbit's name is Stinky, and I am hiking through the woods!

Lalalalalalalalala, I'm going to burn down Shigure's camp site, HURRAY! HURRAY!

(Akito happily skipped through the forest singing the song he created over and over again, but what he didn't know is that Shigure had spotted him and had been following him the whole time, taking his rabbit stickers off the trees he had marked as he went)

Shigure- Such ugly stickers should not be put on such beautiful trees! ^_^

(Shigure then ran around putting all of the stickers he found on different trees)

Shigure- This one goes on that tree, and now this one will go on this tree...haha, that should confuse him! ^_^

(After awhile Akito began to get tired)

Akito- I should go back...

(Akito turned back around)

Akito- Now, where is the last sticker I used?

(Akito looked around and saw a rabbit sticker, and then began following the way it lead)

(Meanwhile Tohru was at the lake reading Shigure's book while Kyo desperately tried to get it from her)

Kyo- TOHRU GIVE ME THAT BOOK BEFORE YOU READ SOMETHING YOUR GOING TO REGRET READING!

(Tohru paid no attention as Kyo crawled into her lap reaching for the book with his paw)

Kyo- TOHRU GIVE ME THE DAMN BOOK!

(Tohru's eyes grew wide and the book began to slip out of her fingers)

Kyo- SEE? WHAT DID I TELL YOU?! NOW GIVE ME THAT-

(Kyo transformed back into human and was on top of Tohru, and before he could move or Tohru could say anything, Yuki came rushing down to where they were)

Yuki- KYO YOU PERVERTED FIEND DON'T TOUCH-!

(Yuki saw them)

Yuki- H-HONDA-SAN!

**A/N: Oh wow. Kyo is really getting a lot of action. (LOL) Poor Yuki-kun always comes at the worst moments! ^_^ Please read and review, and I will update as soon as possible. Thank you to my readers.**


	26. Chapter 26: Shigure's Miracle Tea

**A/N: Sorry that this took A FREAKING LONG TIME because I know that a lot of you have been waiting for this chapter. I just want you to know that I consider all of my readers as my friends. Also people have been giving me ideas for what they would like to see in this story, and trust me guys, I'm trying. So if you see your idea, (And it was one you sent me) THANK YOU! Funny thing is, some people send me ideas, that I have already thought of and put into the story, but I guess great minds think alike! So thank you my friends and I hope you enjoy. ;)**

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Chapter 26: Shigure's Miracle Tea

(Yuki screamed and dropped to the ground)

Tohru- Oh no, Yuki!

(Kyo moved off of Tohru and Tohru rushed over to Yuki's side)

Tohru- Yuki are you okay?

(Yuki grabbed Tohru's hand)

Yuki- Honda-san, what did he do to you?

(Kyo walked over to Yuki forgetting that he was naked)

Kyo- I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO TOHRU!!

Yuki- PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOU, YOU, IMPURE, WORTHLESS, GROSS, NASTY, PERVERTED, HORNY-!

Tohru- Yuki, really Kyo wasn't doing anything to me, it was my fault, and I caused it!

(Yuki's eyes began to twitch)

Yuki- WHAT HONDA-SAN??!! YOU??!! OMG!!

(Yuki passed out)

Tohru- Kyo, we have to help him!

(Kyo scowled)

Kyo- Why don't we just leave him here?

Tohru- Because we can't Kyo!

(Suddenly Yuki opened his eyes)

Yuki- Honda-san, I just had the weirdest dream that Kyo was-

(Yuki looked up and saw Kyo)

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! IT WASN'T A DREAM!! OMG, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!

(Yuki jumped up and grabbed Tohru's hand)

Yuki- We are going back to camp Honda-san!

(Yuki dragged Tohru away, and Kyo followed for the simple reason that his clothes were back at camp)

(Meanwhile it had just occurred to Akito that he was lost)

Akito- I'M LOST!!!!

(Akito looked around franticly for his rabbit stickers)

Akito- THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!!! WHERE IS THE ROCK THAT LOOKED LIKE A HEAD??!!

(Akito looked around, but saw no rock)

Akito- I KNOW I SAW A ROCK, BECAUSE I SANG ABOUT A ROCK! NOW WHERE IS IT??!! ITS GOTTA BE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE!! ARGH!!

(Suddenly Akito spotted another rabbit sticker)

Akito- Maybe this way...?

(Akito followed the rabbit sticker, and it lead him right to the lake)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! THIS IS NO WHERE NEAR MY CAMP SITE!!!

(Akito walked up to the edge of the lake)

Akito- I might as well take a break here.

(Akito sniffed the air)

Akito- What is that horrible smell?

(Akito sniffed himself and then lurched back)

Akito- UGH! I SMELL AWFUL!!!

(Akito dug through his bag and found the bar of soap)

Akito- I might as well take a bath while I'm here...

(Akito stripped down and got in the water with the bar of soap)

Akito- This water is...COLD!!! COLD, COLD FREAKING COLD!

(Akito bathed for awhile until he insured himself that he was going to get sick if he didn't get out)

Akito- EVEN THE AIR IS COLD!! AGH!!

(Akito walked up out of the water but then tripped and went crashing down)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!! (CRASH!) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???!!!

(Akito picked himself up and looked down to see an abnormally large bear track)

Akito- Oh it's just a bear paw print...BEAR PAW PRINT???!!!!

Akito- Well, I didn't see any bear when I was bathing...

(Akito reached down to grab his clothes, but nothing was there)

Akito- WHAT THE HELL??!! THE BEAR STOLE MY CLOTHES!!!!

(Akito smiled)

Akito- Well isn't that just grand that I packed an extra set of clothes? Haha...

(Akito opened his bag only to see his left over stickers, the flashlight, the match, and his towel)

Akito- WHAT THE HELL??!! HOW DID THE BEAR KNOW TO LOOK IN MY BAG TO GET MY EXTRA SET OF CLOTHES??!!

(Akito gasped and looked from side to side)

Akito- That bear must be pretty smart...

(Akito groaned)

Akito- ALL HE LEFT ME WAS MY TOWEL!!

(Akito took the towel and wrapped it around himself, and then picked up his bar of soap)

Akito- I KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO!! I WILL GO AFTER THE BEAR AND KILL IT WITH MY INSANELY HARD BAR OF SOAP!! THEN, I WILL RETREIVE WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE!!!

(The sun was beginning to set)

Akito- Oh no it's getting dark...wait I packed a flashlight! I don't need to worry!

(Akito picked up his flashlight and pushed the "on" button, but the light didn't come on)

Akito- WHO JACKED UP MY FLASHLIGHT??!!

(Akito looked the flashlight over carefully and then spotted a note Kureno had stuck to the flashlight)

Note-

Don't forget to put the batteries in the flashlight or it won't turn on!

Akito- Oh crap...

(Akito stood up)

Akito- Well might as well get moving.

(Before Akito could even take two steps he tripped by stepping into another huge bear paw print)

Akito- AAAAAAAAHHH!! (CRASH!) OWWW!!!!

(Akito looked around to see not just one but many paw prints all around the area)

Akito- I have to watch my step...

(Clutching the bar of soap, Akito tried to make his way back to his camp site, and after about an hour of wandering around in the forest, he spotted a tent)

Akito- Finally! I made it back!

(Akito rushed up to the tent and opened it only to see Shigure sitting down with a book in his hand)

Akito- Huh?

Shigure- Akito?! You came!

(Shigure studied the dumbfounded Akito)

Shigure- And look, you came wearing nothing but a towel, it's my lucky day! ^_^

(Akito just sat at the opening of the tent mouth wide open, and only one word came out of his mouth)

Akito- Huh?

(Akito thought that he was imagining Shigure)

Akito- Wow, this is weird...

(Akito shut the door to the tent and began looking around for some clothes)

(Shigure stepped out of the tent)

Shigure- What are you looking for Akito? ^_^

(Akito jumped back and dropped the bar of soap)

Akito- YOU'RE REAL???!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY TENT???!!!

(Shigure gave Akito a weird look)

Shigure- Last time I checked, I was real. And Akito, this is MY tent. Welcome! ^_^

(Shigure came towards Akito with open arms)

Akito- STAY AWAY FROM ME!!

(Akito ran off, but then stopped)

Akito- MY BAR OF SOAP!!!

(Akito was about to go back to get his bar of soap when Tohru, Kyo and Yuki were just arriving at the camp)

Akito- OH NO!!

(Shigure picked up the bar of soap and threw it in Akito's direction, and he must have had pretty good aim, because instead of the soap bar landing next to Akito, it landed right on Akito's head, and keep in mind it's rock hard)

Akito- AAAAAA-!

(Akito held his scream in, when he saw Tohru, Yuki and Kyo walk into camp. Shigure must have known that the soap bar hit Akito, because when Akito screamed Shigure began to laugh hysterically)

(Akito curled up in a ball clutching his head)

Akito- (Whispering) Damn that Shigure, damn him! If I get brain damage I'm totally suing!

(Akito grabbed the bar of soap, and began to crawl away)

Shigure- Kyo why are you naked?

Kyo- OH YOU WANT TO KNOW DO YOU?! IT'S BECAUSE I WENT AFTER TOHRU TO TRY TO GET THIS-

(Kyo threw the book at Shigure's feet)

Kyo- DAMN BOOK! THIS GROSS, DISGUSTING BOOK!!

Shigure- DON'T TOSS IT AROUND!! MOONLIGHT MADNESS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES!!!!

Kyo- WHY I OUTTA KILL YOU!!! LOOK AT TOHRU! JUST LOOK AT HER FACE!! YOU'VE OFFICALLY CORRUPTED HER PURE MIND!! AND YOU'VE OFFICALLY PISSED ME OFF!! TOHRU CAN NEVER OVERCOME THIS!!!

(Shigure looked at Tohru who had one hand squeezing Kyo's arm, and one hand squeezing Yuki's. Her eyes were wide, and filled with horror and amazement, but mostly horror)

Shigure- Oh dear...I have to admit, if she wanted to read one of my books, I would not have suggested Moonlight Madness as her first book...

(Kyo stomped over to Shigure and picked up the book)

Kyo- THIS IS FILTH!! ALL OF YOUR BOOKS ARE FILTH!! TOHRU IS NOT THE KIND OF PERSON THAT WILL EVER READ FILTH! YOU HAVE SCARRED HER FOR LIFE!! FOR LIFE!! NOT FOR DAYS, NOT FOR MONTHS, NOT FOR YEARS, FOR LIFE!

Shigure- Sorry...

Kyo- IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY!!! LOOK AT TOHRU!! LOOK AT MY ARM!! SHE IS SQUEEZING SO HARD, IT'S RED!!! DO YOU HAVE NO SHAME???!!!

Shigure- Uh...

Kyo- ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!!

Shigure- Honestly? No.

Kyo- YOU SICK, SICK, SICK-

Shigure- Kyo...

Kyo- SICK, SICK, SICK PUPPY!!!!

Shigure- Thank you. ^_^

Kyo- THAT WAS NOT A COMPLEMENT!!!!

(Yuki stuck out his hand)

Yuki- Kyo? May I see the book?

(Kyo looked at Yuki and nodded)

Kyo- Yes, you can.

Shigure- Wait, what are you doing?

(Kyo handed Yuki the book, and Kyo told Tohru to go with Yuki so Tohru let go of Kyo's arm and put both hands on Yuki's, and Kyo went inside the tent to change)

Yuki- Honda-san come with me.

(Yuki lead Tohru over to the camp fire at put the book above it)

Yuki- Honda-san watch.

Shigure- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! MOONLIGHT MADNESS!!!!

(Yuki dropped the book into the fire and let Tohru watch it as it burned)

Yuki- Better Honda-san?

(Tohru seemed to snap out of her trans)

Tohru- Well, I feel a little better...

(Yuki smiled)

Yuki- Good. Uh Honda-san?

Tohru- Yeah?

Yuki- You're kind of hurting my arm.

(Yuki's arm started turning a light shade of purple, and Tohru quickly let go of it)

Tohru- Oh I'm sorry!

Yuki- It's okay, let s have some dinner alright?

(Tohru smiled)

Tohru- Okay! ^_^

(Meanwhile Akito had gotten lost again, and with only a towel to cover him, he was becoming very cold)

Akito- I'M LOST AGAIN!!!! DAMN THAT BEAR WHO TOOK MY CLOTHES!! DAMN HIM!!

(Suddenly Akito's towel snagged on a tree, and still thinking there was a bear around Akito panicked, and as his towel ripped off, he thought it was the bear who did it)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! IT'S THE BEAR!! HE HAS COME BACK FOR MY TOWEL!!!

(Akito ran off butt naked through the forest trying to find camp)

(Finally Akito stumbled into his camp site and saw his clothes sitting neatly folded in front of his tent, Akito rushed over to his tent and picked up his folded clothes)

Akito- THE BEAR CAN FOLD CLOTHES!! OMG WHAT KIND OF BEAR IS THIS???!!!

(Akito turned his clothes around examining them, and saw a big paw print on them)

Akito- THE BEAR WAS HERE!!! OMG! OMG! HE COULD BE CLOSE!!

(Akito quickly put on his clothes and crawled inside his tent still clutching his bar of soap)

Akito- Let s see. What else did Kureno pack for me?

(Akito dug through his bag and found a paper that said, "What You Can Do If You're Scared")

Akito- (Reading)

1. Go inside you're tent and close it securely.

(Akito closed his tent most of the way)

2. Close it ALL the way

Akito- HOW AM I SUPOSED TO BREATHE??!!

3. Deal with it.

(Akito crossed his arms)

Akito- I'm not shutting my tent anymore!

4. You'd better close the tent all the way.

Akito- NEVER!!!!

5. Okay, don't be scared when Jason decides to come in your tent with you.

Akito- WHO THE HELL IS JASON??!!

6. Jason is a bear.

Akito- A BEAR??!!

7. Yes, a bear.

(Akito closed his tent all of the way)

8. Good, now get your flashlight and turn it on.

(Akito got his flashlight, and also put the batteries in it, then turned it on)

9. Now, stay in there until you feel it's safe to come out.

(Suddenly a shadow appeared at the front of Akito's tent)

Akito- The bear came!! What do I do if the bear is trying to get in my tent???!!!

10. If the bear is trying to get in your tent, get your cell phone out and call for help.

(Akito found his cell phone but had forgot to charge it, so it wouldn't turn on)

(The shadow got closer and closer to the tent)

Akito- OMG! MY CELL PHONE WON'T WORK!! WHAT DO I DO???!!!!

11. If your cell phone won't work, then you're pretty much screwed.

Akito- YOU STUPID LIST!! I HATE YOU!!!

12. Don't hate, appreciate.

Akito- I'm going to die. I'm never going to get out of here.

13. Never say never.

Akito- SHUT UP!! Wait why am I talking to a list?

14. Why indeed.

(Akito screamed and ripped up the list)

(Just then, Akito's tent started to open, and Akito clutched the bar of soap)

Akito- I'm ready for you Jason...

(As the tent was opened, Akito flung the bar of soap and heard a loud grunt)

Akito- PERFECT SHOT!

(Akito was quiet for a moment and didn't see or hear anything)

Akito- YES!! I KILLED JASON!!!

???- OW!

Akito- (Gasp) JASON CAN TALK!

???- WHY DID YOU DO THAT AKITO?!

Akito- THE BEAR KNOWS MY NAME! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

???- Answer the question.

Akito- I-I-I-I....STAY AWAY KILLER TALKING STALKER BEAR!!

(Akito crawled to the very back of his tent)

Akito- I'M WARNING YOU!! I HAVE A GUN!! IT'S LOADED!!

???- You don't own a gun, Akito.

Akito- (Gasp) YES I DO!! I HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE!

(Akito imitates the sound of a pistol)

Akito- YOU SEE?! I DO HAVE A GUN!

(Akito dug around in his bag and pulled out a water gun that was already full with water)

Akito- Why the hell did he pack me this? Oh well. LISTEN BEAR!! I HAVE A GUN AND I WILL SHOOT YOU IF YOU TRY TO COME IN MY TENT!!

???- Akito I'm not a bear.

Akito- LIES!

???- I'm coming in.

Akito- NO YOU'RE NOT!

(Akito began shooting the water gun)

Akito- BACK! BACK YOU BEAST! BACK!

(Surprisingly, what came into Akito's tent was not a bear at all, but the very wet Hatori)

Hatori- QUIT SQUIRTING THAT THING AT ME!!

(Akito stopped shooting his water gun and looked up)

Akito- Hatori?

Hatori- No it's the bear.

Akito- WHERE??!! WHERE IS IT HATORI?! I'LL KILL IT!

Hatori- Akito, there is no bear! You were talking to me!

(Akito was confused)

Akito- But I remember hitting the bear with my bar of soap...

(Hatori pointed to a large lump on his head)

Hatori- You hit ME, Akito!

Akito- I'm sorry, I thought you were a bear...

Hatori- Obviously.

Akito- So why are you here Hatori?

Hatori- Well, first of all I wanted to come and check on you. Second I found Shigure's camp site on my way here, and he has invited you and I to come over for dinner.

Akito- I'd rather die.

Hatori- Well you're going, because I'm going, and after the little incident that just occurred, I'm not leaving you by yourself.

Akito- But I don't wanna go!

Hatori- Too bad. Oh yeah, Ayame is here too.

(Suddenly Ayame poked his head into the tent)

Ayame- Hello Akito! ^_^

Akito- Ugh...

(After awhile Hatori, Ayame and Akito arrived at Shigure's camp site)

Kyo and Yuki- Akito?!

Tohru- Akito-san?

Shigure- AKITO!! ^_^

(Akito grunted a hello)

(Ayame jumped out from behind Hatori)

Ayame- DEAREST BROTHER! ^_^

(Yuki lurched back)

Yuki- AYAME?!!

Ayame- OH YUKI, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

(Ayame began to walk over to Yuki with his arms open)

Yuki- STAY AWAY!!

(Kyo had already ran to the other side of the camp when he saw Ayame, but was now marching over to Shigure)

Kyo- YOU DID THIS DIDN'T YOU SHIGURE?! YOU BROUGHT THAT MONSTER HERE!!

(Kyo pointed at Ayame, who had just tackled Yuki to the ground)

Ayame- GIVE ME A HUG!

Yuki- I WILL NOT! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

Ayame- I LOVE YOU MORE THAN THE AIR I BREATH, YUKI!!

Yuki- I'D PICK AIR OVER YOU ANY DAY!

Ayame- OH YUKI, YOU'RE FUNNY! ^_^

Yuki- I'M NOT KIDDING! NOW GET OFF OF ME!!

(Ayame gave Yuki one last squeeze before letting him up. Ayame looked over at Shigure and they both began to run towards each other)

Shigure- AAYA!

Ayame- GURE-SAN!

(Shigure and Ayame hugged each other and then did a thumbs up)

Shigure and Ayame- ALL RIGHT!! ^_^

Yuki- Oh god...

Kyo- When is Ayame leaving?

Tohru- Hello Ayame-san! ^_^

(Ayame rushed over to Tohru)

Ayame- TOHRU!! ^_^ I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!

Tohru- Same here! ^_^

(Yuki walked up to Tohru and pulled her away)

Yuki- Honda-san, don't talk to that...that...THAT THING!!

(As Ayame skipped after Yuki, Shigure walked up to Akito and Hatori)

Shigure- So you did want to see me after all Akito, I'm flattered.

Akito- Hatori MADE me come, it's not like I want to be here.

Tohru- Everyone, dinner is ready!

(Everyone sat down to eat, although Yuki sat as far away from Ayame as he could)

Shigure- Drinks anyone?

Yuki- No thanks I'll get my own.

Kyo- Me too.

Tohru- What kind of drink is it Shigure?

Shigure- It's mine and Ayame's miracle tea! ^_^

Hatori- No.

Tohru- Okay I'll take some! ^_^

Akito- Hell no.

Ayame- Over here Gure-san! ^_^

(Shigure poured Tohru, Ayame, and even though Akito said no, he poured him a glass of his miracle tea too)

Akito- I said no!

(Shigure poured himself a glass)

Shigure- Just try it Akito, it's good. ^_^

(Akito sighed and drank some)

Tohru- Thank you.

(Tohru drank some and smiled)

Tohru- This is pretty good.

Shigure- See? What did I tell you?

(Ayame gulped down his and stuck out his glass)

Ayame- MORE! ^_^

(Shigure poured Ayame another cup of tea)

Shigure- There you go Aaya! ^_^

(Tohru drank all of hers)

Tohru- That is so good! I've never tasted anything like it before!

(Shigure poured her another cup)

Shigure- Have some more! ^_^

(Akito thought the drink tasted pretty good so he drank all of his)

Akito- Can I have some more?

(Shigure smiled and poured Akito another cup of tea)

Shigure- You sure can! ^_^

(After Akito drank another cup of tea, he began to feel dizzy)

Akito- Maybe I need some more tea...

(Shigure jumped up and poured Akito more tea)

Shigure- Drink as much as you want! ^_^

(By this time Ayame was on his fifth cup of tea)

Ayame- This is so much (hic) fun! ^_^

(Tohru walked up to Kyo)

Tohru- Kyo, you know (hic) what?

Kyo- What is it Tohru?

Tohru- I LOVE YOU!!

(Tohru kissed Kyo directly on the mouth and Yuki jumped up)

Yuki- HONDA-SAN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!

(Tohru stopped kissing Kyo and took another drink of tea)

Tohru- Look Kyo, it's (hic) Yuki!!

(Tohru waved)

Tohru- HI YUKI!! ^_^

Yuki- Are you okay Honda-san?

(Tohru jumped up and ran over to Yuki)

Tohru- YUKI DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE MY BEST BUDDY?! CAUSE YOU ARE! BESTEST BUDDY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!!

(Tohru hugged Yuki and made him transform)

Tohru- Where (hic) did Yuki go?

(Kyo jumped up)

Kyo- Tohru is something wrong?

Tohru- KYO-KUN!! I LOVE YOU!! KISS ME!

(Tohru ran over to Kyo and hugged him which of course made him transform)

Tohru- Kyo? Where did Kyo go?

(Tohru looked down and saw an orange cat)

Tohru- KITTY!

(Tohru bent down and picked up Kyo)

Tohru- I shall name my (hic) kitty cat...PUMPKIN!!

(Tohru squealed and hugged Kyo)

(Just then Yuki transformed back into a human and quickly put his clothes on)

(Meanwhile Akito began square dancing with himself and Ayame was singing with Shigure)

Hatori- What in the world?

(Hatori tasted some of the tea)

Hatori- That idiot! This isn't tea! This is sake! Oh, I'm going to kill him...

Akito- DANCE HATORI!! DANCE WITH ME!!

(Akito tried to dance with Hatori but he grabbed Akito's arm and stopped him)

Hatori- Akito are you drunk?

Akito- DRUNK???!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! SILLY HATORI!! OF COURSE NOT!! Now let s go (hic) dance!

Hatori- Oh great!

Akito- Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala, I am Akito (hic)!!

Hatori- Akito come on, go inside the tent.

Akito- NO!! I WANT TO DANCE!!

(Akito skipped over to Shigure and Ayame and began square dancing with them)

Yuki- Honda-san are you drunk?

(Tohru was quiet for a moment like she was deep in thought)

Tohru- You (hic) know? I think I (hic) am! LOOK AT MY PRETTY KITTY!

(Tohru put Kyo in Yuki's arms)

Tohru- Hold Little Billy for (hic) me. I have to go get more (hic) tea.

Yuki- Honda-san wait!

(Kyo transformed back into a human and also put his clothes on)

Kyo- Is Tohru really drunk?

Yuki- I think she is... Shigure must have put something in that miracle tea of his...

Kyo- SHE'S GETTING MORE!!

Yuki- HONDA-SAN!!!

(Tohru picked up the jug of sake and started drinking from it)

Shigure- GO TOHRU!! YEAH!!

(Yuki and Kyo rushed over and took the bottle of sake from Tohru)

Tohru- Why did you (hic) take the (hic) tea away from (hic) me?

(Before Yuki or Kyo could answer, Tohru ran over to Akito and grabbed his hand)

Tohru- HI AKITO-SAN! ^_^

Akito- HELLO TOHRU HONDA! ^_^

Tohru- Akito do you want to be friends?

Akito- OF COURSE! ^_^

Tohru- Lets be friends forever, okay?

Akito- OKAY! ^_^

(Tohru and Akito held hands and began skipping around the camp)

Shigure- Who wants some (hic) miracle tea?

Ayame- Over here Gure-san! I (hic) want some (hic) more!

(Shigure tried to pour Ayame some more "miracle tea" but kept missing the cup)

Shigure- Oops... (Splash) oops... (Splash) oops... heehee!

(Shigure handed Ayame the whole bottle)

Shigure- Just drink out of the (hic) bottle.

Ayame- Good (hic) idea.

(Yuki stood paralyzed watching the awful scene and watching Ayame gulp down sake)

Yuki- There's no way I'm related to him...there's no way...his real parents switched him at birth...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Maury- Today we will find out if Ayame Sohma is the brother of Yuki Sohma.

(Applause)

Maury- Yuki, do you believe that you're Ayame's brother?

Yuki- Hell no. There is no way.

Ayame- You know you're my brother Yuki!

Yuki- You wish.

Maury- Well we have the results, but I have one more question, Yuki if Ayame is your brother, will you keep in contact with him? Maybe create a brotherly bond?

Yuki- No way.

Maury- Okay well we have the results... Ayame...you ARE the brother!

(Applause)

Ayame- I KNEW IT!! YAY!!

Yuki- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Yuki- I'll just save myself the heartache and just disown him...

(Suddenly Akito and Tohru stopped skipping and walked up to Shigure and Ayame)

Akito- We would like to (hic) sing a (hic) song for you today.

Tohru- Yes. We are going to (hic) sing, "For Fruits Basket."

(Shigure and Ayame raised their cups)

Shigure- Sing! ^_^

Ayame- Please do! ^_^

Akito and Tohru-

*I was so happy when you smiled, your smile breaks through the clouds of grey...*

(Shigure and Ayame put down their glasses and waved their hands in the air as Tohru and Akito sang)

(Kyo and Yuki's eyes were twitching as they watched)

Kyo- Do...you...see...that?

Yuki- She's singing...with...Akito...and they're...holding hands...

Akito and Tohru-

*...you can't be born again, although you can change. Let s stay together always!*

(Akito and Tohru bowed, and Shigure and Ayame started clapping and whistling)

Shigure- ENCORE! ENCORE!

Ayame- SING AGAIN! AGAIN!

(Akito and Tohru shook their heads)

Akito- No more (hic) songs, cause we are going to (hic) dance now! ^_^

Tohru- Okay! ^_^

Shigure- THAT'S EVEN BETTER!!

Ayame- DANCING! YAY! COME ON TORI-SAN, DANCE WITH US!

(Hatori was sitting next to the camp fire shaking head)

Hatori- No.

(Ayame threw his cup at Hatori's head but it missed Hatori by about 5 feet)

Ayame- BOO! YOU SUCK TORI-SAN!

(Ayame fell to the ground)

Ayame- I feel dizzy...I neeeeed soomme morrrrre sake.

Hatori- Oh great, now his speech is slurred...

(Shigure rushed over to Ayame while Akito and Tohru continued to square dance)

Shigure- AAYA! SPEAK TO ME AAYA!! WHAT IS WRONG??!! DON'T DIE ON ME!!

(Shigure began to sob)

Yuki- Hatori, can't we do something about them?

Hatori- I don't know...I'm thinking...

(Tohru rushed over to Kyo)

Tohru- Kyo, I have to talk to you about sssssommmmmething.

(Tohru sat down and patted the ground next to her)

Tohru- Sit.

(Kyo sat down next to her)

Tohru- You know, when I was reading that romaaaannnnccce noveeellll, I was thinking about you the whole time...

Kyo- Uh...

Tohru- And you know what I think?

(Tohru didn't give Kyo time to answer)

Tohru- WE NEED TO GET MARRIED!!

(Yuki marched over to Tohru)

Yuki- WHAT?!

Tohru- And Yuki can be your bestest man! Right Yuki?!

Kyo- Tohru you should go lie down in the tent...

Tohru- NOT UNTILL WE MARRY!

(Tohru dragged Kyo over to Shigure, who had just helped Ayame up)

Tohru- Shigure, marry us!

Shigure- YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?? I WANT TO BE THE FLOWER BOY!

Tohru- No, you're the pastor now marry us!

Shigure- Okay! ^_^

Kyo- Tohru! Hatori do something!

(Akito rushed up)

Akito- You're getting married Tohru? To who?

Tohru- To Kyo! ^_^

Shigure- Wait, does the Head of the Family approve of the wedding?

(Everyone looked at Akito, but he was looking over his shoulder)

Akito- THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY???!! WHERE!!

Shigure- You're funny Akito! YOU'RE the Head of the Family!

(Akito looked shocked)

Akito- I AM?! OH WOW!

Shigure- So do you approve?

Akito- OF COURSE! I LOVE WEDDINGS!!

(Akito picked up a bottle of sake)

Akito- Cause weddings have wine!

(Akito began to drink from the bottle until Hatori snatched it away and began to drag Akito away from the camp)

Hatori- That's it! You are going back to YOU'RE camp Akito!

Akito- BUT I HAVE TO STAY FOR THE WEDDING!!

Hatori- THERE IS NO WEDDING!!

(Akito pushed away from Hatori and ran into Shigure's arms)

Akito- NO! I'M STAYING FOR THE WEDDING!

(Hatori sighed and sat back down)

Hatori- I give up!

Yuki- HATORI!! DON'T LET HONDA-SAN MARRY KYO!!

Hatori- Shigure's not even a real pastor, so it won't even be legal.

(Tohru pulled Yuki up next to Kyo)

Tohru- Yuki is Kyo's bestest man.

(Tohru walked over to Ayame and pulled him up with her)

Tohru- You are my maid. I mean maid of honor.

(Tohru then grabbed Kyo's hand)

Tohru- We're ready. ^_^

(Shigure pulled out a romance novel, and cleared his throat)

Shigure- Today we join two hearts as one. Kyo Sohma do you take Tohru Honda to be your wife?

Kyo- Uh...uh...uh...uh...

(Shigure waited for a moment)

Shigure- I take that as a yes. Tohru Honda, do you take Kyo Sohma to be your husband?

Tohru- Yes! ^_^

Shigure- I now say that you are husband and wife. Tohru you are officially Mrs. Tohru Sohma! You may kiss your bride Kyo. And hurry up we have to make a toast.

(Akito ran and got more sake for the toast)

(Tohru didn't wait for Kyo to kiss her, she kissed him)

Kyo- Uh...

Tohru- Hurray we're husband and wife! ^_^

(Akito brought up the wine and gave some to Shigure, Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, Ayame, Hatori, and himself)

Akito- I'd like to make a toast!

(Everyone turned toward Akito)

Akito- To Tohru Honda, and her new husband Kyo!

(Everyone but Yuki, Kyo, or Hatori said anything. Everyone else raised their glass)

Everyone else- YEAH!

(Then they drank the sake)

Akito- What a great wedding! ^_^

Tohru- Thank you! ^_^

(Tohru thought for a moment)

Tohru- But, it feels like something is missing...

Kyo- (Whispering) Yeah, your sanity...

Tohru- Wait, after you get married aren't you supposed to have a party? No that's not it...

(Yuki was becoming very nervous)

Yuki- Honda-san I hope you're not thinking...

Tohru- OUR HONEYMOON!!

(Yuki fell backwards)

Kyo- TOHRU! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!

Tohru- I'm dead serious!

Akito- You're right Tohru. Every wedding has to have a honeymoon!

(Shigure shrugged)

Shigure- Pick a tent.

Tohru- Okay! ^_^ Come on Kyo...

(Yuki jumped up)

Yuki- HELL NO! HATORI!!

Hatori- Okay that's enough, Tohru no honeymoon.

(Tohru shrugged)

Tohru- Okay.

(When Hatori walked off Tohru whispered in Kyo's ear)

Tohru- (Whispering) Don't worry Kyo, we WILL have our honeymoon. I promise!

Kyo- Uh...

(Tohru walked up to Ayame an Shigure)

Tohru- Do you know that I love you guys?

(Ayame and Shigure hugged Tohru making themselves transform)

Tohru- WHERE DID THEY GO??!! I need some more tea.

(Tohru went to pick up a bottle of tea, but Yuki and Kyo stopped her)

Yuki- Honda-san it's late, you should go to bed.

Kyo- Yes, Tohru get some sleep.

Tohru- Whoa, there is like five campfires...

(Kyo and Yuki helped Tohru into one of the tents)

Tohru- But I want some more tea...

Kyo- Tohru, go to sleep okay?

Tohru- Can I say goodnight to everyone?

(Kyo helped Tohru out of the tent)

Kyo- Fine, but make it quick.

(Shigure and Ayame transformed back into humans and when Tohru saw them, despite the fact of them being naked, she began to dance with them)

Kyo- TOHRU!

Yuki- GET AWAY FROM THEM HONDA-SAN! THEY'RE NAKED!

(Yuki rushed up to Ayame and practically threw him in the tent)

Yuki- PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

(Ayame started digging through some clothes)

Ayame- Okay. ^_^

(Yuki sighed, but then two seconds later Ayame strutted out of the tent with a pair of jeans on his arms)

Ayame- These won't fit Yuki.

(Yuki screamed and rushed over to Ayame)

Yuki- THOSE ARE PANTS! YOU PUT THOSE ON YOUR LEGS AYAME!

(Ayame thought for a moment)

Ayame- Okay.

(After about a minute Ayame came back out wearing a pair of Tohru's flowered underwear with the pants still on his arms)

Ayame- Better?

Yuki- ARE THOSE HONDA-SAN'S UNDERWEAR??!!

(Kyo turned around, saw Ayame and screeched)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THOSE ARE TOHRU'S! AND THOSE ARE MY PANTS!

(Tohru ran over to Ayame and pointed to the underwear)

Tohru- You know what Ayame, I have underwear just like that!

Yuki- Ayame take those off.

(Ayame stared at Yuki for a moment, then came running towards him with his arms open wide)

Ayame- YUUUUUKIIIIIIII!!!

(Yuki jumped back and started running)

Yuki- GET AWAY FROM ME!! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! TAKE OFF HONDA-SAN'S UNDERWEAR!

(Ayame started chasing Yuki all around the camp desperately trying to get a hug)

Kyo- Tohru come on lets go to sleep.

(Kyo looked down but Tohru was gone. She had continued her dance with the naked Shigure, then started doing a jumping dance with Akito)

Kyo- SHIGURE! PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!!

Shigure- NEVER! NAKED IS FUN! Hahahahaha!

Kyo- I'm gonna die...

(Yuki was doing his fifth lap around the camp as he passed Kyo)

Yuki- YOU'RE GOING TO DIE?! HELL NO, I'M GOING TO DIE!!

(Yuki kept running and Ayame was still in hot pursuit)

Ayame- YUKI YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY! COME THIS WAY! COME TO YOUR BROTHER!

Yuki- NO WAY!

Kyo- TOHRU, STOP SQUARE DANCING WITH AKITO!! HATORI AREN'T YOU GOING TO HELP ME?!

(Hatori stood up, and walked over to Ayame who had just passed out and was laying on the ground. Hatori dragged Ayame into the tent)

Hatori- Boy, is he going to have a headache when he wakes up. Now who wants to change him? Yuki, how about you?

(Yuki was bent over gasping for air)

Yuki- Your...crazy...

(Hatori shrugged)

(Tohru ran up to Kyo)

Tohru- Kyo lets (hic) dance!

Kyo- Tohru, come on.

(Kyo grabbed Tohru's hand and lead her into another one of the tents)

Kyo- Go to sleep Tohru.

(Tohru yawned)

Tohru- Now that you mention it, I am kind of-Zzzzzzzzzzzz...

(Tohru passed out)

(Kyo laughed and left the tent, just to see Shigure and Akito singing "Don't Worry, Be Happy.")

Kyo- So Hatori, what are we going to do about THEM?!

Hatori- You two go to sleep, I'll take care of Shigure and Akito.

(Yuki and Kyo agreed and went in the same tent as Tohru and soon fell asleep)

Akito- Shigure, I love you! ^_^

Shigure- I love you too Akito! ^_^

Akito- I know, we should get married!

Shigure- Yes lets!

(Akito and Shigure walked up to Hatori)

Akito- Hatori, marry us! ^_^

Hatori- Shigure put some clothes on, and Akito, I'll tell you what, if you go to sleep, I will marry you two tomorrow.

Akito- NO! OUR LOVE CANNOT WAIT!!

Hatori- You'll regret it in the morning.

Shigure- WE WILL NOT!

Akito- Hatori, marry us please?

Hatori- (Sigh) Okay. Shigure do you take Akito as your bride?

Shigure- Yes. ^_^

Hatori- Akito do you take Shigure to be your husband?

Akito- Yes. ^_^

Hatori- Then, you are husband and wife, now kiss the bride and go to sleep!

(Akito and Shigure kissed and then before anything else could be said they both passed out)

(Hatori carried Akito, and dragged Shigure into the third tent)

Hatori- Tomorrow is going to be hell.

**A/N: Wow I love this chapter! Thank you to all of my readers who enjoy this story as much as I do. Without you, I wouldn't have come this far. (This story is about to hit 200 reviews, and I think after I post this it will) When I was writing this story, I never thought people would like it this much. Thank you for your support, and don't forget to review. ^_^**


	27. Chapter 27: Akito's First Hangover

**A/N: Okay so this update was a bit faster, but this is a shorter chapter so SORRY! Thank you and enjoy! Oh, and I do not own Furuba. If I did, there would be more than 23 books. ^_^**

**---**

Chapter 27: Akito's First Hang-over

THE NEXT MORNING

(Birds were chirping next to the tent)

Akito- (Asleep) Shut the hell up I'm not deaf...

(Birds continue to chirp)

Akito- (Opening eyes) I said I'm not deaf you damn thing...

(Akito lurched up)

Akito- AH!

(Akito collapsed back down)

Akito- My head hurts...oh the pain...I've never felt something like this before...

(Shigure rolled over so that he was facing Akito)

Shigure- Quit talking so loud...

(Akito plugged his ears)

Akito- Me? You're the one screaming!

(Akito clutched his head)

Akito- Oh, how did I get here? Where am I?

Shigure- (Waking up) Don't talk so loud...

Akito- What are you talking about Shigure...Shigure?!

(Akito lurched up again)

Akito- OH!

(Akito fell back down)

Akito- What is wrong with me? Am I sick? Where am I?

Shigure- (Awake) Why in the world are you talking so loud?

Akito- What? If anyone s talking loud it's you! And why are you here? And-And why are you naked??!!

Shigure- I'm naked?

(Shigure looked down)

Shigure- Well I guess I am...

Akito- Gross, disgusting! How did I get here? Where are we?

Shigure- I believe...that we are in a tent.

Akito- A tent? Oh yeah, I came to your camp site yesterday didn't I?

Shigure- I guess so.

(Akito's head began to pound)

Akito- Ugh, something's wrong with me. Do you have a huge headache too?

Shigure- Yes, as a matter of fact I do.

Akito- Okay, so what are we going to do?

Shigure- I don't know...

(Just then there was a loud scream from Ayame's tent)

Ayame- OH MY!

(Akito and Shigure plugged their ears)

Shigure- Agh...

Akito- Why is my head doing this?

(Just then Hatori opened the door to Akito and Shigure's tent)

Hatori- The pain you are having right now would be something doctors call a hang-over.

Akito- What the hell is a hang-over?

Hatori- A hang-over is the pain you feel after you've been drinking gallons of sake the night before.

Akito- Sake? What the-?

(Akito shot a glare at Shigure)

Akito- You good for nothing-! Why I outta-! You got me drunk!

(There was another screech from Ayame's tent)

Ayame- WHAT IS THIS UNBEARIBLE PAIN??!!

Akito- Hatori, when you have a hang-over, does everybody seem to be yelling?

Hatori- Yep. Akito, thanks to Shigure, you have yourself a genuine hang-over.

(Akito looked at Shigure)

Akito- I'm going to kill you.

Shigure- Don't look at me, I don't even remember half the stuff I did last night.

Hatori- Oh boy, this is going to be good.

Akito- What?! What did we do Hatori? Did Shigure kiss me when I was drunk? Did he?

Hatori- Worse. He married you.

Shigure- What?!

Akito- HE WHAT?! How did-?! Who-?! Why-?! Oh, I'm in hell...

Shigure- Um, Hatori may I ask if anything ELSE happened between Akito and I?

(Akito's eyes widened)

Hatori- Huh? Oh, no you two passed out after you got married.

(Akito clutched his chest and sighed)

Akito- Thank god...

Shigure- Well, Akito that means we still have to go on our honeymoon! ^_^

(Akito lurched up, but as usual went crashing back down)

Akito- You're out of your mind Shigure, and frankly, I don't want to talk to you.

(Yet another scream came from Ayame's tent)

Ayame- FLOWERED UNDERWEAR??!! OH MY HEAD!!

Shigure- So what else happened last night?

Hatori- Lets see...Kyo married Tohru...

(Akito lurched back up, and well you know what happened next)

Akito- Uh...I really have to stop doing that...

Shigure- Kyo married Tohru?

Hatori- Yep, you got that poor girl so drunk she was insisting on marring Kyo, oh and Akito YOU were so drunk, you actually agreed to the wedding...happily.

Akito- Oh Shigure, this is all your fault, I hate you. You know that right?

Hatori- Oh yeah, Akito you and Tohru are now officially best friends forever and ever...at least I think that's what you said...

Akito- Kill me...kill me now...

Hatori- And both of you did a number of dances, it was actually quite funny...

Akito- TOHRU AND I DANCED??!!

Hatori- Well, at first you were dancing by yourself, but then Tohru and you started square dancing, then you danced and jumped at the same time...hmm let s see...you held hands and skipped around the camp about 6 times...oh yeah, and you sang together!

(Akito's eyes were twitching, and if his head didn't hurt so much he would have screamed)

Akito- I did all of that...with Tohru Honda?! This can't be true!

Hatori- Well, it is. So if you don't mind, I should go check on Ayame, I mean he was the one who drank the most sake after all...

(Hatori left and Akito was attempting to stare down Shigure)

Shigure- What?! You wanted more!

Akito- You know perfectly well I can't hold my liquor! You sorry ass! You did that on purpose! You evil, evil man.

Shigure- Yes, I get that a lot...

Akito- Have you no shame?!

Shigure- Hmm...no not really...

Akito- Get out of this tent.

Shigure- If you're head feels exactly like mine, then you know perfectly well that I'm not moving.

Akito- Great, now I'm stuck here with you.

Shigure- You know you love it! ^_^

Akito- I bet it was your stupid idea to get married...

Shigure- Even if it was, you sure agreed to it. ^_^

Akito- Shut up.

(Hatori poked his head back into the tent)

Hatori- Actually, Akito, it was YOU who insisted on being married to Shigure.

(Akito's mouth dropped and Hatori left the tent)

Shigure- WELL...^_^

Akito- Don't you say one word.

Shigure- So it was YOUR idea...

Akito- SHUT UP SHIGURE!

(While Shigure was laughing hysterically, Tohru was just beginning to wake up)

Tohru- Oh my gosh, my head...

(Yuki and Kyo heard Tohru, and woke up)

Yuki- Good morning Honda-san.

Tohru- Yuki? Kyo? What am I doing here? Why does my head hurt so badly?

(Ayame screamed again)

Ayame- EVERYONE IS TALKING SO LOUD!! Why am I wearing pants in my arms?

Tohru- What's wrong with me Kyo?

(Before Kyo could answer Hatori poked his head into their tent)

Hatori- The pain you are having right now would be something doctors call a hang-over.

Tohru- Hang-over?

Hatori- Yes a hang-over.

Yuki- What he means Honda-san, is that yesterday that idiot Shigure got you drunk.

Tohru- Huh?

Hatori- Well after you've been drinking the night before, when you wake up the next day, you have horrible pain in your head. That is a hang-over.

Tohru- I don't even remember anything that happened yesterday...

Kyo- Don't worry Tohru, it isn't your fault...wait I forgot!

(Kyo jumped out of the tent and grabbed a pot and wood spoon, then rushed over to Shigure's tent and started hitting the pot)

Kyo- WAKE UP SHIGURE!!! EVERYONE WANTS TO SAY GOOD MORNING TO YOU!

Akito- AAAAAAAHHH!! DON'T DO THAT!

Shigure- AGH! KYO STOP! SOUND IS MAGNIFIED TO US!

(Kyo smiled)

Kyo- I know. ^_^

(Kyo looked into the side of tent and saw Shigure and Akito holding their heads)

Shigure- (Sobbing) My head, my head...

Akito- (Sobbing) The pain...

Kyo- That's what you get for getting Tohru drunk, Shigure.

Akito- (Sobbing) Why me? I didn't even want to go on this trip! I didn't even want to come to this camp! Why? W-H-Y?!

(Kyo went back to his tent, and with Yuki's help, go Tohru out of the tent)

Kyo- Here Hatori brought coffee for you...

(Tohru drank some and smiled)

Tohru- Thanks. So what happened yesterday?

(Kyo blushed and turned away. Yuki groaned and shook his head)

Kyo- Um...you don't want to know Tohru...

Tohru- What? Is it bad?

Yuki- Okay Honda-san I'll tell you what you did. Kyo and you got married by Shigure.

Tohru- What?! We were married?

Yuki- And you and Akito are now best friends.

(Akito heard the conversation from in his tent)

Akito- WE ARE NOT! I SHALL NEVER BE FRIENDS WITH TOHRU HONDA! OH MY HEAD!

Shigure- Akito quit talking so loud...

Akito- YOU quit talking so loud, AND PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!

Tohru- So me and Akito-san are friends? That's great! ^_^

(Akito screamed from his tent)

Akito- WE ARE NOT!

(After about an hour Shigure and Akito were able to drag themselves out of the tent, they sat down to eat breakfast with everyone else, and it was dead silent)

(Akito took a bite of the food, and everyone turned to look)

Akito- The food is good...

(Shigure held up a pitcher)

Shigure- Drinks? Hehehe...

(Akito shot a glare at Shigure as if to say, "If you so much as come within 3 feet of me, I'll kill you." Shigure seemed to get the message, because he put down the pitcher and sat down)

Shigure- Okay...

(Everyone continued eating)

(Akito took another bite of the food and everyone turned to look at him, Akito jumped up)

Akito- JESUS PEOPLE! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM??!!

(Akito started walking away)

Tohru- Uh, Akito-san wait! Where are you going?

Akito- To MY camp where I can get some peace and quiet!

Shigure- Don't get lost Akito!

Akito- SHUT UP SHIGURE!

(Surprisingly, Akito made it to his camp without getting lost and he stayed there until it was dark outside)

(Akito picked up his cell phone)

Akito- Good thing Hatori brought a portable phone charger. Now I can call the main house and get out of this hell hole! ^_^

(Akito calls the main house)

(Akito waits for a moment then screams)

Akito- I CAN'T GET A SIGNAL!! MOTHER FU-!!!!!!

(Akito calmed himself down)

Akito- It's okay Akito. So what if you can't get a signal? That's why they invented text messages! ^_^

(Akito texts Kureno)

Akito- Help me! Get me outta this place!

(Akito waited for Kureno to send a text message back and after a few minutes there was a reply)

Kureno- Sorry, Akito I'm busy.

(Akito's mouth dropped)

Akito- HELL NO IS HE BUSY!

(Akito texted him back, and this was their conversation)

Akito- HELL NO! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Kureno- Akito, I'm sorry but I'm really busy right now, I can't come get you.

Akito- WELL TOO BAD! COME AND GET ME! IF I STAY HERE ANY LONGER, I'M GOING TO DIE!

Kureno- Sorry. Gotta go.

(Akito screamed and tried to send another text message but couldn't get through because Kureno had turned off his cell phone)

Akito- AAAAAH!! HOW AM I GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE??!! I'M DOOMED!!

(Akito sat alone in his tent until he fell asleep)

**THE END**

**A/N: I AM TOTALLY JOKING, IT IS FAR FROM THE END! (Don't hate me, but please tell me how you reacted. Bwahahaha... ^_^) Poor Akito's trip isn't going to well! Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I hoped you enjoyed! Please R&R and thank you!**


	28. Chapter 28: Fruitloop and PoisonControl

**A/N: Is anyone really even reading these? The song used in this chapter is from the Furuba anime. Thank u Furuba! ^_^**

**---**

Chapter 28: Fruitloop and PoisonControl

THAT NIGHT

???- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

Akito- (Asleep) Who is in the forest?

???- Who's in the forest strolling?

Akito- (Asleep) I don't know...

???- The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re.

Akito- (Asleep) The birds and the bees sing...singee...sing, sing...

???- The frogs in the pond are calling.

Akito- (Half asleep) Ribbit, ribbit...

???- Shi-gu-re yes it's true!

Akito- (Waking up) Shi-gu-re yes it's-

(Akito lurched up)

Akito- SHIGURE?? What the-!

???- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

Akito- What the hell is that?

???- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

Akito- Where the hell is that music coming from?

(Akito gasped)

Akito- SHIGURE PUT OUT ANOTHER FREAKING MUSICAL CARD!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

(Akito jumped up and threw his clothes on)

Akito- I'm going to find the damn thing!

Card- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

(Akito crawled out of the tent)

Akito- You're not going to keep me awake!

(Akito looked around and spotted something white on the ground)

Akito- What is that?

(Akito picked up the mysterious object and opened it)

Akito- It's a note...

(Akito began to read the letter)

Note-

Dear Akito,

You need to watch where you step.

(Akito walked as he read the note)

Akito- Watch my step? Why would I need to-???

(Akito stepped into a hole and went crashing down)

Akito- WAH! (Crash!) Oww...

(Akito stood up and looked down to see the at he had not stepped into a hole at all, but it was another huge bear paw print)

Akito- J-Jason...

(Akito ran back inside his tent a began to read the note again)

Note-

I'm coming for you Akito.

Akito- Who is?

Note-

It's me, Jason.

(Akito felt a chill go up his spine)

Akito- J-Jason???!!!

Note-

Yes Jason.

Akito- HOW DOES JASON KNOW HOW TO WRITE???!!!

Note-

I bet you're wondering how I'm able to write you this letter. Well, I'm a special kind of bear.

Akito- (Gasp) I KNEW IT!!

Note-

I'm coming for you Akito.

Akito- NO!! WHY IS JASON COMING FOR ME??!!

Note-

I'm coming for you because I want to kill you. And, I don't like you.

Akito- YOU CAN'T KILL ME!! I'M THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY!!

Note-

I don't care if you are the head of the family, either.

Akito- (Gasp) It's like this note is answering my questions!

Note-

I am answering your questions, Akito.

(Akito dropped the note and backed away)

Akito- Jason is after me!

Card- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

Akito- Aww, damn! It's that freaking card!

Card- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

Akito- AGH! SHUT UP!

Card- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

Akito- THAT'S IT!! I'M GOING TO FIND IT, AND NO BEAR IS GOING TO STOP ME!!

(Akito began to get ready for his "journey". He started by tying his flashlight to his head. Then he filled his water gun up with water. And last, he placed his bar of soap in his pocket)

Akito- If Jason wants to kill me. I'm going to be prepared! The Head of the Sohma Family will NOT die by the hands of a bear!

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- I mean...uh...paws of a bear...

Card- Who's in the forest strolling? The birds and the bees sing Shi-gu-re. The frogs in the pond are calling. Shi-gu-re yes, it's true!

Akito- SHUT THE HELL UP!!

(Before Akito left the tent he grabbed one more thing. It was a walkie talkie. Akito made sure that Hatori had one, and he ordered that it be on at all times)

Akito- I shall contact Hatori when I am on my mission.

(Akito turned on his flashlight and held the water gun as if it were real, and he turned on his walkie talkie)

Akito- Hatori, I'm going in, over.

(Hatori's voice was heard from Akito's walkie talkie)

Hatori- (Asleep) Huh?

(Akito crawled out of his tent, and ran behind the nearest tree)

Akito- Hatori, Operation Find the Evil Stalker Card Reincarnation is under way, over.

Hatori- (Half asleep) What the hell is that?

(Akito ducked under a branch, and rolled to the next tree)

Akito- Hatori, I am in the middle of a mission to find The Card, but I need your help. I am in grave danger. Our enemy has been identified as the evil bear Jason. He is after me as we speak, over.

Hatori- (Awake) Akito? What the hell are you doing up at this hour?

(Akito began army crawling through some mud)

Akito- Oh god, this is disgusting!

Hatori- Hello? Akito? Are you there?

Akito- Oh Hatori, yes I'm here. Have you confirmed the destination of Jason?

Hatori- Akito, what in the world are you talking about?

Akito- I told you Hatori, I am trying to find the Evil Card, but as I'm doing this, Jason is coming after me! He wants to kill me, over!

Hatori- Who is Jason?

Akito- Hatori, if you want me to understand what you're saying you have to say "over" after every message, over.

Hatori- Akito this is not a spy mission.

Akito- What? Over.

Hatori- (Sigh) FINE! Who is Jason? Over.

(Akito hid behind a bush)

Akito- Jason is a bear, over.

Hatori- A bear is after you? How do you know that?

Akito- Huh? Over.

Hatori- HOW DO YOU KNOW A BEAR IS AFTER YOU!! OVER!!

Akito- He told me in a letter, over.

Hatori- (Sigh) Akito bears cannot write letters.

Akito- THIS ONE CAN, over!!

Hatori- Akito, where are you right now? Over...

Akito- I JUST TOLD YOU! I am in the forest, looking for Card #3, over!

Hatori- AKITO! GO BACK TO YOUR TENT THIS INSTANT OVER!!

Akito- NOT UNTILL I FIND THE CARD AND KILL JASON OVER!!

Hatori- Oh god.

Akito- I'm sorry, I didn't catch that last message, over.

Hatori- GOOD!! OVER!! OVER!! FREAKING OVER!!

(Akito lurched back)

Akito- You don't need to yell, and you only need to say over ONE time, over.

(Akito army crawled to another tree)

Akito- This is my bunker position, over!

Hatori- What?

Akito- I said that this is my bunker position, over!

Hatori- Akito have you gone insane? Over.

Akito- OF COURSE NOT, over.

Hatori- ...

Akito- Hatori, since we are on a secret mission, we need code names. I am now Cornflake, and you are SwissCheese, over.

Hatori- No, over.

Akito- SwissCheese, this is Cornflake, what is your position? Over.

Hatori- Akito?

Akito- I AM CORNFLAKE, OVER!!

Hatori- I can't believe I'm doing this...Cornflake? Over.

Akito- Yes SwissCheese? Over.

Hatori- WHERE ARE YOU??? OVER!

(Akito rolled over to a log and propped up his water gun on it)

Akito- SwissCheese, I have reached the second bunker. This is where I will find Jason and kill him, over.

Hatori- Cornflake, I have reason to believe that you're a Fruitloop, and you need to be put in what we call an insane asylum, over.

Akito- Well, if you want me to change my name to Fruitloop, then I guess I will. But that means your name will be switched to PoisonControl, over.

Hatori- What the hell are you talking about...uh...Corncob...no...Fruitflake? Wait that's not right, what was your name again? Over.

Akito- MY NAME WAS...PoisonCheese? Wait...Fruit and Corn? No...umm...well my name is now officially ChocolateFairy, and yours is MarshmallowMonkey, over.

Hatori- Dear god.

(Akito suddenly heard a twig snap)

Akito- MarshmallowMonkey, we have company, over.

Hatori- ChocolateFairy, go back to your tent, over.

Akito- Not yet, over.

Hatori- Dear god, let this be over!

Akito- Let what be? Over.

Hatori- I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU AKITO!!

Akito- For the last time ChocolateMonkey, I am MarshmallowFairy, over.

Hatori- Wait I thought you said-?

(Akito heard another sound)

Akito- I hear something, it must be Jason! Steady men! Hold your fire!

Hatori- You have men with you? Over.

Akito- WHAT?! I THOUGHT YOU SENT BACKUP!! I'M BY MYSELF??!! SEND BACKUP, WE ARE UNDER SIEGE, OVER!!

Hatori- Idiot...

Akito- ChocolateDoughnut, I will be going in as the first string, you guard the rear, over!

Hatori- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE, OVER!!

Akito- Injured men, to the left, soldiers to the right! Steady men! Guard the rear! Load the guns! READY, AIM, FIRE!!

(Akito shot his water gun in the direction of where he heard the noise)

Akito- Good job men! Again! READY, AIM, FIRE!

Hatori- Akito? Do you have men with you? Over.

Akito- SEND BACKUP!! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!! WE ARE AT WAR WITH JASON, OVER!!

Hatori- He has lost it...

Akito- WHICH IDIOT IS SHINING THAT LIGHT??!! Oh, wait that's me...

(Akito turned off his flashlight)

Akito- CHARGE!!!!

Hatori- Akito? Are you there? Over.

(Since Akito had turned off his flashlight, he ran straight into a tree, and went crashing down)

Akito- HATORI!! I HAVE BEEN HIT! HE SHOT ME!! MAN DOWN!! MAN DOWN! SEND REINFORCEMENTS!! HELP, OVER!!

Hatori- Akito?! What happened? Are you okay?

Akito- Help.

Hatori- Akito?

Akito- Help. I've been shot, over!

Hatori- Are you bleeding? Over.

Akito- My life is flashing before my eyes...I think I'm dying, over.

Hatori- Were you really shot? Did you hear the gun? Over.

Akito- Well, no...but I ran into something and it hurts...I see the light, over.

Hatori- Akito is your flashlight on? Over.

Akito- Oh, it is...over.

Hatori- So are you really dying? Over.

Akito- I don't know...I feel alive...BUT WHAT ABOUT MY MEN??!! DID THEY DIE DURING THE SHOOTING??! SEND REINFORCEMENTS, OVER!

Hatori- WHAT MEN??!! YOU HAVE NO MEN!! OVER!

Akito- (Gasp) YOU'RE RIGHT!! JASON KIDNAPPED ALL OF MY MEN!!! HELP, OVER!

Hatori- (Sigh) This will end badly...

(Akito crawled over to the log and propped up his gun again)

Akito- I've found my way back to the second bunker, I think I will be safe, over.

Hatori- Akito, go back to your tent, over.

Akito- Your new codename is PumpkinJuice, and mine is CarrotTop, over.

Hatori- AKITO!! GET BACK TO YOUR TENT BEFORE YOU ARE SERIOUSLY INJURED!!

Akito- PumpkinJuice, you have to call me by my code name or I won't know who you are. You could be the enemy! Don't forget to say over, over.

Hatori- Akito...

(Akito turned around)

Akito- PumpkinJuice, I think the enemy has arrived! I'm alone out here, SEND BACKUP, OVER!!

Hatori- I have no backup, over!

Akito- WELL WHY NOT??!! WE ARE UNDER SIEGE, OVER!!

Hatori- Akito, do you even know where you are? Over.

Akito- I told you my name is CarrotTop, and yes PumpkinJuice, I do know where I am. I am at the second bunker, ready to go to battle. I hear something! If we don't make it out of this alive, tell Stinky I love him, over!

Hatori- AKITO!!

Akito- I'm going in, over!

Hatori- (Sigh) I better go look for him.

Akito- PumpkinJuice, the sound is growing louder. We are making are move! Steady men! READY, AIM, FIRE!

(Akito was about to shoot his water gun, when a hand grabbed his shoulder from behind)

???- Hello, Akito.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Akito screamed and turned around swiftly, his water gun hitting whatever it was that was behind him, and causing it to go down with a crash)

Akito- HATORI!! HELP, OVER!!

Hatori- Akito? I heard a voice, who is that? What happened?

(Akito looked down to see Shigure laying on the ground with a hand over his eye)

Shigure- That hurt Akito...

(Akito stood there dumbfounded and lowered his water gun)

Akito- S-Shigure? What are you doing out here?

(Shigure slowly stood up, still rubbing his eye)

Shigure- I could ask you the same question, Akito?

(Akito lowered his gun all the way)

Akito- Whatever. I can be out here because I'm the Head of the Family.

(Shigure grinned)

Shigure- I know why you were out here...

Akito- Oh really?

Shigure- Yep! You were out here looking for my camp, but you got lost...again.

Akito- That's absurd! Why would I want to go to YOUR camp?

Shigure- (Evil grin) You tell me, Akito.

(Akito's mouth dropped and he began to walk away)

Akito- You are sick, stay away from me...

(Shigure grabbed Akito's arm and pulled him back)

Akito- Watch it you...

Shigure- Akito what were you doing out here? And look at you, you're covered in mud! What in the world have you been doing?

Akito- None of your business now let me go or I will-!

(Shigure pulled Akito into a kiss, but Akito pushed away)

Akito- STOP IT! WE ARE IN A FOREST FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!

(Shigure pulled Akito close again)

Shigure- So what? Who's going to see?

(Akito gasped)

Akito- THE FOREST CREATURES WILL SEE!! And, no is no!

(Shigure turned and began to walk away)

Shigure- Whatever you say.

(Akito turned in the opposite direction but ran straight into a gigantic bear)

Akito- J-Jason!!!!

(Akito turned around and grabbed the back of Shigure's shirt)

Akito- S-Shigure...

(Shigure turned back around and grabbed Akito)

Shigure- Changed your mind have you?

(Shigure's eyes drifted up to see the huge beast and pointed a finger)

Shigure- WHAT IS THAT???!!

Jason- RAAAAAAAAAH!!

**A/N: Wow this story gets crazier by the second. If you think it's insane now, boy are you in for a surprise! The "Codenames created in this chapter were created by myself (muahaha) and help from my bro and sis. This is one of my favvies so I hope u liked it. Thank you to all of my readers and don't forget to review! ^_^**


	29. Chapter 29: Jason On The Attack

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, hope you laugh a lot. ^_^**

**---**

Chapter 29: Jason On The Attack

(Jason made a lunge for Akito)

Shigure- AKITO, GET OUT OF THE WAY!

(Shigure pushed Akito to the ground)

Jason- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- SHIGURE WE'RE GOING TO DIE!

(Akito reached into his pocket and pulled out the bar of soap)

Akito- I WILL KILL JASON AND SAVE US ALL!

(Akito jumped up and threw the bar of soap at Jason. It him right in the eye, and he just looked at Akito)

Akito- Take that Jason! Ha!

(Jason stood up on his hind legs and roared louder than ever, and Akito practicly jumped into Shigure's arms)

Akito- Run...

(Shigure and Akito bolted and just barley missed the huge claws of Jason)

(As they were running with Jason in hot prusuit, Akito abd Shigure were screaming)

Akito- I THINK I MADE HIM ANGRY!

Shigure- YOU THINK??!!

Akito- I'M GOING TO DIE!

Shigure- SO AM I!!

(Akito and Shigure had ran all the way back to Shigure's camp with Jason still right behind them)

Akito- (Huff, huff, wheeze) IS HE GONE YET??! (Cough) I CAN'T RUN ANYMORE!!

Shigure- HE IS STILL FOLLOWING US!!

Akito- HELP!! JASON IS GOING TO KILL US!! HELP!!

(Just then Yuki Kyo, and Tohru poked their heads out of the tent, rubbing their eyes)

Kyo- What the hell is all that noise?

Yuki- (Yawn) ...sleepy...

Tohru- Huh? Is that Akito-san and Shigure?

Kyo- What the-!

(Akito and Shigure began running laps around the camp)

Akito- IT'S JASON! HELP! HELP! JASON IS ON THE ATTACK!

(Kyo looked behind Shigure and Akito to see the huge bear)

Kyo- THAT'S A BIG ASS BEAR!

(Suddenly the bear turned his head to the side and glared at Kyo, Yuki and Tohru)

(Akito and Shigure jumped to the side and into a bush, to get out of the way of the bear, and Jason started going for Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru's tent snarling)

Kyo- SHIT!

(Yuki and Kyo grabbed Tohru and ran to the nearest tree)

Kyo- Tohru you go first, hurry!

(Kyo and Yuki helped Tohru up into the tree, and then Kyo climbed up next. Before Yuki could get up into the safety of the tree, Jason ran up and knocked him to the ground)

Tohru- YUKI!

Yuki- I'm okay Honda-san.

(Tohru started to come down from the tree)

Yuki- Honda-san stay up in the tree, don't you even think about coming down! Do you understand?

(Tohru scooted back up into the tree, where Kyo put an arm around her)

Tohru- I understand...

(Jason just stared at Yuki)

Jason- RAAAAAAAH!

(Jason raised his paw for another strike)

Tohru- YUKI!

(Right when Jason was about to strike Yuki, something happened. Jason fell to the ground, almost landing on Yuki)

Kyo- What?

(As Jason went down everyone saw a needle stuck into his side, and Hatori standing behind him)

Tohru- HATORI!

(Tohru and Kyo jumped down from the tree and ran over to Yuki, who was cluching his arm, which Jason had cut)

(Tohru was sobbing and shaking)

Tohru- Oh, Yuki, I was so scared! I was so scared! Thank goodness you're okay! Oh, thank you Hatori!

Yuki- It's okay Honda-san, I was more worried about you.

Kyo- You are alright, right Tohru?

(Tohru nodded)

Tohru- Yes, I'm fine, but Yuki-kun is bleeding!

(Hatori bent down, and started tending to Yuki's wound)

Kyo- Okay, now which idiot brought the bear to CAMP??!!

(Shigure and Akito poked their heads up from a bush)

Akito- It was all Shigure's fault.

Shigure- WHAT?! YOU WERE THE ONE OUT LOOKING FOR THE BEAR!!!

(Hatori walked up to Akito, grabbed his arm, and pulled him away from the bush)

Hatori- Akito, YOU caused most of this mess, and we are going home. I have a Sohma limo out front, and everyone is coming. That shot will keep that bear asleep for about two more hours, so pack up your things and hurry up.

(Everyone did as Hatori said, and within an hour, everyone was in the Sohma limo on the way back to the Main House)

Kyo- Shigure, you suck, you know that right?

Shigure- I already told you. AKITO was the one who was the one who brought the bear to the camp!

(Yuki looked as if he was thinking really hard)

Yuki- Shigure, if Akito was the one who brought the bear to the camp then two questions. Number one, what were you doing up at that hour, and how do you know that Akito brought the bear to the camp?

(Shigure was silent for a moment, and Hatori seemed amused)

Hatori- Yes, Shigure do tell.

(Shigure smiled)

Shigure- I was taking a walk in the forest.

Yuki- Why were you even awake at that time? What were you doing?

(Kyo thought for a moment)

Kyo- And how did you meet up with Akito?

Akito- Shigure was stalking me.

Kyo- Akito, what were YOU doing in the woods?

Akito- None of your business, Kyo. I am the Head of Family, I can do anything I want.

Yuki- As usual...

Akito- Why I outta-!

Hatori- Everyone, we are back. I'm going to take Akito inside, then I'll be back.

(Hatori and Akito left the limo, and a few minutes later Hatori came back)

Hatori- I have to go to work, but the limo will take you home, okay?

Shigure- We got it Haa-san! ^_^

Hatori- See you soon.

Tohru- Good-bye Hatori-san!

(Hatori smiled as he closed the car door)

Hatori- Good-bye Tohru. ^_^

(As the limo began to drive away, Shigure gave Tohru an evil grin)

Shigure- So do you and Haa-san, have something going that the rest of us don't know about Tohru-kun? Hmmm? ^_^

(Yuki and Kyo turned to look at Tohru)

Tohru- No, of course not! He is just my good friend.

Shigure- Right... ^_^

(Yuki and Kyo both punched Shigure)

Shigure- Okay, sorry, sorry...

LATER

--SecretGirl984 logs on--

SecretGirl984- Muahahaha, Kyo will soon be mine.

--FishFan logs on--

SecretGirl984- Gasp! Kyo-kun!

FishFan- Oh my god it's YOU! Who ARE you?!

SecretGirl984- Well, I can't tell you.

FishFan- Why not?!

SecretGirl984- Because then I wouldn't be able to scare you.

FishFan- What did I ever do to you?

SecretGirl984- You never kissed me.

FishFan- Great. Because I rejected a girl, I'm being stalked.

SecretGirl984- This is just my username, who says I'm a girl?

FishFan- You... wha- HUH?

SecretGirl984- Yeah, that's right. I'm a man.

FishFan- OH HOLY MOTHER OF CRACKER JACKS!

--FishFan logs off--

SecretGirl984- Heh heh...

--SecretGirl984 logs off--

**A/N: Sorry for the short chapter and I know it's not my best. The next chapter will hopefully be posted soon, so maybe this can hold you guys over until then. (I doubt it... ^_^) R&R and thank you.**


	30. Chapter 30: It's All Coming Back To You

**A/N: Here is number thirty. Sorry for the wait on it.**

Chapter 30: It's All Coming Back To You

THAT NIGHT

(Akito was sleeping soundly. The time is 12:35 AM)

???- There were nights when the wind was so cold!

Akito- (Asleep) Shigure, shut up.

???- There were days when the sun was so cruel!

Akito- (Half asleep) Shigure what is all that music?

(Akito sprang up)

Akito- MUSIC?!

???- I finished crying in the instant that you left!

Akito- What the hell? I don't see Shigure anywhere...

???- And I banished every memory that you and I had ever made...

Akito- OH I'M GONNA-!!! IT'S ANOTHER DAMN MUSICAL CARD!!

Card- But when you touch me like this...

Akito- I DID WHAT NOW?!

Card- And you hold me like that, I just have to admit, that it's all coming back to me.

Akito- WHAT KIND OF SONG IS THIS?!

Card- When I touch you like this, and I hold you like that, it's so hard to believe, but it's all coming back to me.

Akito- AGH! WHERE IS IT?! I'LL KILL IT! I HAVE TO GET IT OUT OF MY ROOM!

Card- It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now.

Akito- NO IT'S NOT!! Now, where would Shigure put that card...?

Card- There were nights of endless pleasure!

Akito- WHAT?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Card messes up)

Card- endless pleasure!

(Akito's eyes begin to twitch)

Akito- This is not...happening...not again...no, I don't believe it.

Card- endless pleasure!

Card- endless pleasure!

Akito- No, this is just all a horrible nightmare, and when I open my eyes everything will be back to normal.

(Akito closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them)

Akito- See? All better! ^_^

Card- endless pleasure!

Akito- Oh dear god.

Card- endless pleasure!

(Akito rushed over to the phone and called Shigure)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring!

Shigure- I wonder who could be calling my house at 12:45AM?

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring!

Shigure- Probably someone trying to sell something.

Shigure's Phone- Hey Baby, you've reached Shigure Sohma. If you're hot, then feel free to come over. If you're not, then I'm not home so leave a message after the tone...I guess... BEEP-

Akito- OH I'M GOING TO LEAVE A MESSAGE ALRIGHT!! SHIGURE, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE HOME SO YOU BETTER PICK UP THIS PHONE YOU MOTHER-

(Shigure answers the phone)

Shigure- (Happy) Hello? ^_^

Akito- I'm going to kill you.

Shigure- Who is this?

Akito- I'm going to murder you.

Shigure- Who?

Akito- YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO THIS IS!

Shigure- Oh, yeah your that guy who keeps stalking me.

Akito- What?

Shigure- If you don't stop calling me, and threatening me, I am going to call the cops.

Akito- I AM NOT A STALKER!! IF ANYONE IS A STALKER IT'S YOU!

Shigure- That's what they all say.

(Shigure hangs up)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- You know what? I don't care anymore. That song is not going to bring me down!

Card- There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light!

(Suddenly, a blinding white light filled Akito's room. Akito covered his eyes)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHERE IS ALL THE LIGHT COMING FROM??!

Card- There were things I'd never do again, but then they always seemed right.

Akito- Oh my god!

Card- Baby, baby!

Akito- SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

Card- If I kiss you like this, and you whisper like that, it was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me.

Akito- HELP! KURENO! HELP! MY MIND IS PURE! PURE!

Card- If you touch me like this, and if I kiss you like this, it was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me.

Akito- THAT'S IT!

(Akito calls Shigure back)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring!

Shigure- (Sigh) That stalker just can't take a hint!

Shigure's Phone- Ring-Ring-Ring!

Shigure- I'll just let the machine get it.

Shigure's Phone- Hey Baby, you've reached Shigure Sohma. If you're hot, then feel free to come over. If you're not, then I'm not home so leave a message after the tone...I guess... BEEP

Akito- SHI-GU-RE!!! ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE! ANSWER IT! I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! ANSWER THE PHONE! YOU BETTER ANSWER IT OR I'M GONNA-!

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- Fatty's Burgers, how may I help you?

Akito- Huh?

Shigure- This is Fatty's Burgers, what would you like to order?

Akito- Lets see...WAIT! You mean, Shigure isn't there?

Shigure- Who's Shigure?

Akito- Oh, sorry wrong number...

Shigure- That's okay, but would you like to order something?

Akito- Well it's kind of early...

Shigure- That's okay, I'll tell Shigure that you called.

Akito- Okay...WAIT JUST A MINUTE!

(Shigure hangs up)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Card- There were moments of gold and there were flashes of light!

(Again light filled the room)

Akito- AAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT BURNS!

Card- There were things we would never do again, but then they always seemed right.

(Akito plugged his ears)

Akito- Somebody kill me!

Card- When you touch me like this, and when you hold me like that, it was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito calls Shigure again)

Shigure's phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Well, jeez...

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- WE WELCOME YOU TO MUNCHKIN LAND!! ^_^

Akito- What?

Shigure- Akito, why are you calling me?

Akito- YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHY I'M CALLING YOU! GET THIS NASTY, GROSS, PERVERTED CARD OUT OF MY ROOM! AND WHAT IS WITH THE LIGHT??! IT HURTS MY EYES!!

Shigure- When you touch me like this-

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! STOP! STOP IT!

Shigure- Sorry, Akito, but you seem to love the card so much, I would never remove it.

Akito- I DON'T LOVE THAT GROSS CARD! I HATE YOU SHIGURE! I HAVE TO SLEEP TOO YOU KNOW!

Shigure- I know. ^_^

Akito- UGH!

(Akito thought for a moment, then smiled)

Akito- So you want to play like that, do you?

Shigure- Yep! ^_^

Akito- Okay Shigure, don't remove the card. I'm sure Kureno has room in his bed.

Shigure- WAIT WHAT?

Akito- Bye Shigure. ^_^

(Akito hangs up phone)

Card- When you see me like this, and when I see you like that...

Akito- SHUT UP!

Card- The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me.

Akito- WHAT?!?

Card- If you do it like this...

(Akito grabbed his pillow, and headed for his door)

Card- And if we...

Akito- AGH! SHUT UP!

(Akito's phone rings)

Akito's phone- Ring-ring-ring

Akito- (Evil grin) Oh? Is that Shigure? He wanted to play dirty, well so am I.

(Akito answers phone)

Akito- Kureno stop! Hahaha! (Gasp) Kureno, you animal! I'm sorry Shigure, I'm a little...umm...busy. Bye! ^_^

Shigure- HEY-!

(Akito hangs up)

Akito- That will teach him to mess with me!

(Akito walked out of his room, and came to Kureno's door and opened it, only to see Arisa laying in bed with Kureno)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HOLY GOD!

(Kureno and Arisa jumped up)

Kureno- Oh dear...

**A/N: Props to Celine Dion for her song, "It's All Coming Back To Me". I hope you liked this chapter because I did. Thank you to my readers and don't forget to review. Also my friend and I are writing a story and it is on her profile. It is a funny Naruto story so please READ AND REVEIW IT! (Go to AnimeFan4Eternity's profile and read & review "Sasuke Plays A Prank". Thanx a bunch.) _For any of you who hasn't seen my profile, I need help. My reviews aren't coming up like they should, and there are like 25 that I haven't been able to read. Please IM me if you have ANY idea of what's going on. Thank you. ^_^_**


	31. Chapter 31: The Death of Stinky

**A/N: Okay guys, if you hadn't all ready seen the chapter title, I'm sorry. This was already planned to happen in the story so I can't take it back. Please don't stop loving me or my stories! ^_^ And thank you to everyone who supports me. Sorry for the wait.**

**---**

Chapter 31: The Death of Stinky

THE NEXT DAY

--Akito logs on--

Akito- I can't believe Kureno had this other girl in his bed! AAAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHH!

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- AKITO WHAT DID YOU DO??!

Akito- Don't speak to me.

Luvpuppy- Did you and Kureno really-?

Akito- Whatever you think we did, we did.

Luvpuppy- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- You're insane.

--BoyToy logs on--

--Akito logs off--

BoyToy- Oh jeez...

--BoyToy logs off--

--Akito logs on--

Akito- I HATE HIM!

Luvpuppy- Who me?

Akito- NO! Well, yes, you too.

Luvpuppy- (Sniff) I'm hurt...

Akito- GOOD! Now when are you going to get that damn card out of my room?

Luvpuppy- Never...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

--Akito logs off--

LATER THAT DAY

(Akito was digging under his bed for earplugs, but pulled out a odd looking book)

Akito- This doesn't look like one of my journals... (Gasp) THIS IS SHIGURE'S! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHA! MY REVENGE! MUHAHA! MUHAHA! Muhaha...muhaha...

(Akito jumped onto his bed and opened the journal up to the first page)

Akito- (Reading out loud) Today I had to fart so bad...

(Akito scrunched up his face)

Akito- EEEEEEEEWWWWW!!!

(Akito flipped to the next page)

Akito- (Reading out loud) Today I recorded a strip video for my baby Akito...

(Akito turned the page so fast, it almost ripped)

Akito- (Reading) Last night, Akito and I-

(Akito's eyes widened and he ripped out that page)

Akito- Anyways... (reading) Sometimes I dream about high school girls. We go to the beach, and make sand castles together.

Akito- He is sick.

(Akito flipped through a few more pages)

Akito- (Reading) I love to torture Akito with musical cards. He doesn't even know where I hide them! It's in the perfect spot! It's in the attic under a piece of floorboard. So to Akito it sounds like it's coming from the attic, but when he looks up there, it will sound like it's coming from his bedroom! It's the perfect spot, and he'll never find it!

Akito- SO THAT'S HOW HE DOES IT! HE'S A GENIUS!

(Akito dropped the journal and rushed up to the attic, and began looking for a loose piece of floorboard, which he soon found under a pile of boxes. He lifted up the piece of flooring and there was the card, plain as day)

Akito- Oh my god...

Card- If I kiss you like this, and you whisper like that, it was lost long ago but it's all coming back to me.

(Akito screamed and ripped the card into pieces)

Akito- Now...I am free...

(A tear rolled down Akito's face as he hugged the journal)

Akito- I am free...I am free...

(Akito jumped up)

Akito- NOW FOR A CELEBRATION! I WILL ORDER PIZZA FOR STINKY AND MYSELF!

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- Well, maybe just me...

(Akito pointed a finger into the air)

Akito- AND WE SHALL BATHE IN A HOT BATH TOGETHER!

(Akito clapped his hands, and walked down stairs)

A FEW HOURS LATER

(Kyo was walking down the hallway encouraging himself)

Kyo- Okay Kyo, just walk up to Tohru and tell her that you want-

(Kyo turned the corner and ran straight into Yuki)

Yuki- OOWW! Watch where you're going Kyo.

Kyo- Whatever...

(Kyo was about to pass, when Yuki put up his arm)

Yuki- By the way Kyo, where are you going?

(Kyo backed up a little)

Kyo- It's... none of your business.

Yuki- If you're thinking about going to talk to Honda-san, don't. She is already asleep.

(Yuki put down his arm and walked away)

Kyo- Damn...

(Just then Shigure walked out of his room)

Shigure- Has anyone seen a green journal?

(Kyo began whistling and walked the other way)

30 MINUTES LATER

(Akito was cracking up at the things Shigure had written in his journal)

Akito- (Reading) Today I bought a blond wig and a black wig and pretended to be Sandy and Danny from Grease. Maybe, I will use the song, "Tell me More" to torment Akito sometime...

(Akito's eyes twitched and he ripped out that page)

Akito- Oh no.

(Suddenly Kureno and four other servants rushed into Akito's room)

Akito- Don't you people know how to knock?

Servant- Akito-san, something happened. It's Stinky.

(Akito jumped up)

Akito- What happened?

(The servants motioned for Akito to follow them down to the living room area, and Akito followed quickly)

Akito- Somebody better tell me what happened, or I'm gonna-

(The servants stopped Akito and bowed their heads)

Servants- We are so sorry Akito-san...

(Akito looked up to see Kureno holding a limp Stinky)

Akito- Why is Stinky sleeping? He and I are having dinner in a few minutes...

(One of the servants began to sob, and left the room)

Akito- What's her problem? Why won't Stinky wake up? Kureno, what did you do?

(Kureno handed Stinky to Akito)

Kureno- Akito, Stinky is dead.

Akito- As if. Stinky wake up, mommy is here. ^_^

(Stinky didn't move)

Akito- Stinky? Stinky, mommy says wake up.

(The other servant ran out of the room crying too)

Akito- Kureno, what did you do to my servants? WHY WON'T STINKY WAKE UP? DID MY NUTCASE OF A MOTHER DRUG HIM?! DID SHE?!

Kureno- Akito, Stinky was in an accident, and he is dead.

(Tears began to pour from Akito's eyes)

Akito- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

30 MINUTES LATER

(Kureno calls Shigure from Akito's phone)

(Shigure sat in the bath tub with his cell phone on the bathroom floor)

Shigure's cell phone- Ring-Ring-Ring

Shigure- Now, who would call me in the middle of my bath?

(Shigure picked up his phone and looked to see who was calling him. The name Akito blinked bright read on his cell phone. Shigure rushed to answer it)

Shigure- Hey baby, guess where I am?

Kureno- What the-?

Shigure- I'm naked in the bath! ^_^ Wait...is this Akito?

(Kureno put a hand to his forehead)

Kureno- No.

Shigure- Oh my bad. Who is this?

Kureno- This is Kureno.

Shigure- Well what do you want? More importantly, who gave you this number?

Kureno- Shigure, gather up Yuki, and Kyo, and get to the Main House, we are having a funeral.

(Shigure jumped out of the bath)

Shigure- FOR WHO?! DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TO AKITO?!

Kureno- No, no, it's not Akito. It's Stinky. Stinky died.

Shigure- (Sigh) Do you try to scare me on purpose? And why do we need to go to the Main House for Stinky?

Kureno- Akito's orders.

Shigure- Oh god. Alright, we're coming...I guess.

(Shigure hangs up)

Kureno- WAIT! I forgot to tell him about the speeches...

BACK AT THE ESTATE

(Akito had locked himself in his room and Hatori was trying to get him out)

Hatori- Akito, we are having the funeral, you have to come out.

Akito- (Sniff) Noooo!

Hatori- Akito-

Akito- NOOO! GO AWAY HATORI!

Hatori- Akito, YOU wanted this funeral, now everyone is coming. You have to come out of your room.

Akito- LEAVE ME TO DIE!

Hatori- Akito you're not going to die.

Akito- HA! SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU KNOW!

Hatori- Akito, come on out.

Akito- I WANT TO DIE WITH STINKY!

Hatori- I know, I know.

Akito- NO YOU DO NOT!

Hatori- Trust me Akito, it will get better.

Akito- HA!

Hatori- Akito, I'm serious.

Akito- HA!

Hatori- Akito, we will get you a NEW rabbit. How does that sound?|

Akito- (Sobbing) I DON'T WANT A NEW RABBIT! I WANT STINKY!

Hatori- Akito...

Akito- GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE! I WANT TO DIE SO I CAN BE WITH STINKY! WAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori- But this funeral is for Stinky.

Akito- I don't care. Leave me alone to starve. Let me die a painful death. (Sniff) I want to die! Stinky, wait for me!

Hatori- Akito, I'm sure Stinky would like it very much if you went to his funeral.

Akito- (Sniff) You think so?

Hatori- No Akito, I don't think, I know.

(The door to Akito's room opened a crack)

Akito- Is Shigure coming?

Hatori- As far as I know, everyone is coming.

Akito- I will come on ONE condition.

Hatori- What is that?

Akito- My lunatic of a mother is NOT allowed.

Hatori- Fine.

(Hatori lead Akito out to where the funeral was going to be held)

BACK AT SHIGURE'S HOUSE

(Kyo sat at the table arms crossed)

Kyo- I am NOT going to a funeral for some stupid rabbit.

(Shigure shook his finger at Kyo)

Shigure- Tisk Tisk Kyo. You know Akito will be very angry if you don't come.

Kyo- Damn Akito! I don't care what he says!

Tohru- But Kyo-

Kyo- I'M NOT GOING AND THAT'S THAT!

(Shigure shrugged)

Shigure- Fine Kyo, stay home we don't care.

Tohru- Well, I don't want to leave him all by himself...

Yuki- Who cares?

Kyo- Tohru, don't worry about me.

Shigure- Tohru, why don't you stay with Kyo and keep him company?

Tohru- Well, I really would like to go to the funeral, but I know Kyo would do the same for me, so I'll stay here with him so he isn't lonely. ^_^

Yuki- Honda-san...

Tohru- Don't worry Yuki, I'll be fine. Please go to the funeral, I wouldn't want Akito-san mad at you...

Yuki- If you say so Honda-san...

(Shigure and Yuki walked out the door, but not before Shigure got the last word in)

Shigure- Tohru, if Kyo tries to do anything "awkward" to you, call me on my cell, and we'll come save you. ^_^

Kyo- AS IF I WOULD DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT!

Tohru- (Blush) Okay...

Shigure- Bye-bye now! ^_^

(Shigure and Yuki left for the Main House)

(When everyone was at the Main House, Akito sat in one of the chairs next to Kureno, sobbing his eyes out when Shigure walked up happily)

Shigure- Hey Akito! ^_^ What's up?

(Akito shot an evil glare at Shigure)

Akito- Why in the hell are you so damn happy?

Shigure- Oh, I'm sorry Akito.

(Shigure bent down to give Akito a hug but Akito shoved him away and screeched)

Akito- STAY AWAY FROM ME!

(Shigure and Yuki lurched back)

Shigure- Touchy...

(Shigure and Yuki walked away to their seats)

Akito- (Sniff) I need tissues...

(Some servants rushed over with two boxes of tissues, and Akito tore into them)

Akito- (Sobbing) This isn't going to be enough!

Servant- Akito the funeral is about to start, okay?

(Akito grunted an okay, still crying)

(After a few minutes almost the entire zodiac had arrived)

Akito- Where's Kyo? Even though he isn't a part of the zodiac, he was still required to be at this funeral!

(Shigure walked up to Akito, smiling)

Shigure- He decided not to come. ^_^

(Akito sobbed again)

Akito- WHY ARE YOU SMILING! (Sobbing) I HATE KYO! HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAH! EVERYONE HATES ME!!

(Shigure again bent down to give Akito a hug but Akito just pushed him away)

Akito- NO MEANS NO!

(Shigure stomped back to his seat)

Shigure- Fine, I get it!

Akito- Humph, you better.

(Akito paused for a moment then started sobbing again)

Akito- POOR STINKY!

(After another few minutes a servant walked up to the stage the Main House had set up for the funeral)

Servant- We are gathered here today to honor a wonderful animal whose life has ended.

(At those words, Akito began grabbing all of the tissues and blowing his nose, still sobbing)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HE WAS GREAT WASN'T HE??!!

Servant- Yes Akito-san, he was great. Anyways, today all of the members of the zodiac, some of the servants, and of course the Head of the Family, will be saying a speech to honor Stinky, this evening.

(Shigure cocked his head to one side)

Shigure- Speeches? What speeches?

(Kureno shook his head)

Kureno- I tried to tell you.

(Shigure slapped his forehead)

Shigure- Oh great...

Yuki- Dear lord...

Haru- I'm not doing it.

Isuzu- I am not doing no damn speech. Wait, who is Stinky, anyway?

Momiji- I will say a speech! ^_^

Ritsu- OF COURSE I WILL SAY A SPEECH! I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT BEFORE! I'M SORRY!

Kureno- I'll have to do it anyways...

Kagura- What will I say...? Wait...who is Stinky?

Hiro- HELL NO!

Kisa- Hiro be nice...

Ayame- OOH I LOVE TO TALK AT THINGS LIKE THIS! HAHAHA! HAHA! ^_^

(Yuki took one glance at the laughing Ayame and buried his face in his hands)

Yuki- He will take forever on his speech. Oh god, I'm in hell.

Servant- Everyone has decided that the oldest members shall say their speeches first, so Hatori, would you mind coming up to the stage?

(Hatori stood up and walked slowly over to the stage, once he got to the microphone, he began talking)

Hatori- Stinky was a good rabbit.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Servants ran over and gave the sobbing Akito more tissues)

Hatori- Anyways...it is very sad that Stinky is dead...I liked him a lot more than I did Fatty because he didn't bite. He was a very good pet to Akito. Thank you, that's all I have to say.

(Everyone clapped)

Akito- OH HATORI THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD SPEECH!! WAAAAAHAAAAA!!

Servant- Next can we have Ayame come to the stage?

(Ayame sprang up)

Ayame- Fear not! For I shall brighten up this dark place with my shining spirit!

(Ayame strutted on stage and Yuki shook his head)

Yuki- He is going to offend half of the people here!

(Ayame pulled out a tissue, and wiped his eyes)

Ayame- I hardly even knew Stinky, but I'm sure that he was a _fascinating_ rabbit.

Yuki- Uugghh...

Akito- HE WAS! HE REALLY WAS! (Sniff) WAAAAAAAH!

(Akito collapsed into Kureno's arms)

Shigure- Now wait just a minute-

Ayame- Stinky was a _MAGNIFICENT_ and _GLORIOUS_ rabbit! He was a Rabbit among rabbits! I'm sure that, had I met Dear Stinky, he and I would have hit it off _immediately_, and become great friends! After all, since I am _SO_ completely wonderful, it stands to reason that a rabbit _SO_ wonderful as our Dearly Departed Stinky would have simply _LOVED_ to be friends with someone as incredibly _brilliant_ as me! Well, anyways, I have a gift for the Head of the Family.

(Akito stood up)

Akito- For me?

Ayame- When I found out that you owned Stinky, I had made him an outfit, but I never got the chance to give it to him, so I want you to have it.

(Akito wobbled onto the stage and took a little sailor suit from Ayame and dragged himself back to his seat, crying harder than ever)

Ayame- Rest in peace Stinky. That concludes my _phenomenal_ speech.

(Everyone but Yuki clapped)

Yuki- He made an outfit for a rabbit...

Shigure- How cute! ^_^

Servant- And next, we need Shigure to come on stage please.

(Shigure jumped up and skipped onto stage)

Shigure- My turn! ^_^

(Shigure cleared his throat)

Shigure- First of all, I would like to say that I'm happy, no VERY happy, that Stinky is dead.

(Everyone gasped)

Akito- WHAT??!! HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT??!! WAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA!!

(Akito threw a used tissue onto the ever growing mountain of tissues)

Shigure- I'm sorry that Stinkys' death has caused Akito such pain and heartache-

Akito- NO YOU ARE NOT!

Shigure- ...but now that he is gone, I can spend more time with our great Head of the Family to comfort him! ^_^

Akito- AGH!

Shigure- You're the best, Akito! ^_^ That concludes MY speech!

(Shigure went back to his seat, a smug look on his face)

Servant-(already sobbing) WAAAAAAAAA-K-K-K-K-Kureno's turn.....GAAAAAHAAAAAAA!!

(Kureno pried Akito's hands off his arm and went up to the stage)

Kureno- A-hem...

Akito- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Kureno- Well, I-

Akito- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Kureno- Stinky was-

Akito- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Kureno- ............

(Shigure barely stifled a giggle)

Kureno- So anyway-

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- Akito, can I talk now?

Akito- Yes please.

(Suddenly a sock landed next to Kureno's foot and everyone turned to Shigure)

Shigure- BOOOOOOOO! GET OFF STAGE! NOBODY LIKES YOU!

(Yuki almost strangled Shigure)

Yuki- What the hell are you doing?!

Shigure- Ssh and watch, stubborn Yuki. ^_^

Kureno- As I was saying-

Shigure- BOOOOOOOO!

Kureno- (Sigh) Are you even going to let me-

Shigure- BOOOOOOOO!

Kureno- Come on Shigure, just let me-

Shigure- BOOOOOOOO!

Servant- Shigure, let Kureno speak.

(Shigure crossed his arms)

Shigure- Oh fine...

Kureno- Okay, so as I was about to say-

Shigure- BOOOOOOOO!

(Everyone looked at Shigure)

Shigure- Okay that was my last one.

Kureno- Well, Stinky was a great rabbit. He was great in many ways.

Akito- HE WAS! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- He was so great. He kept Akito so busy, that I had hours of free time to do whatever I wanted.

Akito- (Sniff) Huh?

Kureno- And now that he is gone, I will have to go back to the old days, and sadly, have to be around Akito much more than I would like to be.

(Everyone gasped)

Shigure- HA! I mean...THAT IS HORRIBLE KURENO!! BOOOOO!! BOOOOO!

(Yuki shook his head)

Yuki- I was wrong. Today Shigure is acting worse than Ayame!

Shigure- HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY??!

Kureno- That is all I have to say. Rest in peace Stinky. You will be greatly missed.

(Akito sat gawking at Kureno mouth open wide)

Akito- K-Kureno, what are you saying? You don't like being around me Kureno? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT??!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito picked up his chair and plopped in down next to Shigure's chair)

Akito- DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN KURENO! (Sniff) I NEED MORE TISSUES!!

(Two servants rushed up with boxes of tissues, and Shigure clenched his fist)

Shigure- (Whispering) YES! I WIN! ^_^

(Shigure leaned over and gave Akito a hug)

Shigure- It is okay Akito, I'm here for you.

Akito- (Sniff) If my head didn't hurt so bad, I would kill you.

Shigure- You know you like it! ^_^

(Akito pushed away)

Akito- You know what? I was going to let you keep hugging me, and I kind of liked the hug, but then you ruined it with your awful since of humor.

Shigure- (Whispering) Dammit...

Servant- (Sniff) Next is R-Ritsu.

(Servant blows nose)

(Ritsu walked slowly onto the stage)

Yuki- Oh god no...

(Back to Kyo and Tohru)

Tohru- Kyo, I feel so sorry for Akito-san. He really cared about Stinky.

Kyo- Who cares?

(A tear rolled down Tohru's cheek)

Tohru- It makes me sad...

(Kyo jumped up)

Kyo- No no, don't cry. Was it something I said? I'm sorry Tohru...

(Kyo bent down and grabbed Tohru's hand)

Kyo- Don't cry.

(Back to the funeral)

Ritsu- I AM SO SORRY THAT STINKY DIED! I'M SURE THAT HE WAS A WONDERFUL RABBIT! I WISH THAT I HAD DIED IN HIS PLACE! I DO! I DO! SOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRY!!!

Yuki- Someone kill me...

Shigure- Come on Yuki, it's a funeral, have some fun! ^_^

Yuki- Wha-?

Akito- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- Why is he sitting next to US?

Shigure- Be nice to the Head of the Family Yuki.

Yuki- Whatever...when do we get to leave?

Shigure- Hush.

Ritsu- I WISH I DIED AND NOT STINKY, BECAUSE UNLIKE ME, STINKY IS MISSED BY A LOT OF PEOPLE!

Kureno- No kidding.

Akito- I-I-I LOVE Y-YOU S-S-STINKY! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ritsu- I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS PAIN AKITO! FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SO UNHELPFUL! REST IN PEACE STINKY! (Gasp) I MUST BE TAKING UP ALL OF THE TIME FOR THE OTHER SPEECHES! I'M SOOOOOOOOOORRY!

(Ritsu rushed off stage)

Servant- Kagura, you're next.

(Kagura walked onto stage)

Kagura- I really don't know what to say...I don't even know who Stinky was...

(Kagura began looking over the faces in the crowd)

Kagura- Is Kyo here?

Akito- (Gasp) THIS IS NOT ABOUT KYO! IT IS ABOUT POOR STINKY!

(Akito threw another tissue onto a mountain that was now higher than he was)

Kagura- Oh right...umm, Stinky was great. Did Kyo come to the funeral?

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Kagura- Kyo? KYO?! WHERE ARE YOU??!! THE ONLY REASON I CAME TO THIS THING WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Kagura stomped off stage)

Servant- (Sniff) I-I-Isuzu...GAAAAHAAHAA!

(The servant rushed off stage)

Isuzu- Awww, man...

(Isuzu slowly walked onto the stage)

Isuzu- Ummm...

(Akito sat waiting impatiently)

Akito- Well? Are you going to talk about Stinky?

(Akito paused for a moment and covered his eyes)

Akito- POOR STINKY!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Isuzu- Who's Stinky?

Akito- (Gasp) HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHO STINKY IS?! HE IS THE GREATEST MOST LOVING RABBIT THAT EVER LIVED! EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD SHOULD KNOW WHO STINKY WAS! HE WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL PET EVER! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Isuzu- Uh...yeah...

(Isuzu quickly left the stage)

Servant- Now it is Yuki's turn.

Ayame- MAKE ME PROUD DEAR BROTHER! DO YOUR VERY BEST!

Shigure- Yes, Yuki. Make us proud. ^_^

(Yuki shot a glare at Shigure)

Yuki- You're loving this, aren't you?

Shigure- Very much so! ^_^

Momiji- Go Yuki go! Go Yuki go! ^_^

Haru- Yuki I believe in you.

(Scowling, Yuki walked onto the stage)

Yuki- Well I-

(Shigure, Ayame, and Momiji suddenly jumped up)

Shigure- DO IT NOW!

Yuki- Huh?

(Shigure lifted up his shirt to reveal a Y painted on his chest. Ayame and Momiji did the same, and on their chests was a U and a K)

Akito- (Gasp) HOW DISGUSTING!!

Yuki- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- Hatori, stand up, you have the I!

Hatori- I told you that I wasn't going to do it, but did you listen? No, of course not.

Momiji- You ruined it Ha'ri, now it says "Yuk" and not "Yuki!"

(Yuki slapped his forehead)

Shigure- Sorry Yuki!

(The three of them sat back down)

Yuki- Before I was so rudely interrupted-

(Before Yuki could say another word, Ayame jumped back up and started rapping)

Ayame- Yuki is my brother! A brother like no other! He's making quite a habit! Of speaking 'bout a rabbit!  
What up, yo? Yuki is mah broe! I love him so--

(Hatori quickly grabbed Ayame and made him sit before he could continue to the next verse)

Yuki- Now then... I must say that even though I don't know enough about the rabbit-

Akito- Call him by name, idiot! WAAAAWAH!

Yuki- Even though I don't know that much about...STINKY...I can honestly say that there are quite a few people, including the Head of the Family, who will miss him very much.

Akito- You better not be thinking about that stupid Tohru Honda when you say that!

Yuki- Well, Akito, I know that Honda-san would have loved to be here, and she would have gladly paid respects to a rabbit that she didn't even know.

Akito- Well, I don't give a damn anyway, so HA! I laugh at you! You are here to talk about my precious Stinky, not to preach about a disgusting girl named Tohru, so get to it.

Yuki- Well...

(Suddenly, Yuki looked rather alarmed. Hands shaking, he glanced at his watch)

Yuki- Oh, crap! I left Honda-san at home with that stupid cat for two hours!

Shigure- Two hours? It's been at least one hour and fifty-seven minutes.

Yuki- Well, that gives me three minutes to get home just in time to pry that cat off of my Honda-san! I'M COMING, HONDA-SAN!

(Yuki dashed off the stage, stopped to set his watch back three minutes, and ran home)

Akito- He's losing points for this! I can't believe he just left! WAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Shigure looked over at Akito. Underneath the box of tissues, Akito was holding a pen and paper)

Shigure- What are you doing?

Akito- I'm keeping track of how well my zodiac eulogizes Stinky. So far, Hatori and Ayame are tied for first place, but I really love that outfit that Ayame made, so I might make him first...

Shigure- Is this really necessary?

Akito- I'm going to punish everyone who ranks the bottom six. That means they don't give a damn about Stinky.

Shigure- I'm just curious... Who is at the bottom?

Akito- It was a tie between Kagura and Isuzu, but now I think I will make it Yuki.

Shigure- How does Kureno stand?

Akito- Right now, he's in the middle...and you are one step lower.

Shigure- Damn.

Servant- Would Hatsuharu come up here, please? Haru, you are next.

Momiji- Go, Haru, go! Go, Haru, go! ^_^

(Haru stood up)

Haru- My time has come.

(Haru walked onto the stage)

Haru- Today is a sad day for some, but not for me. I don't even know who Stinky was but-

Akito- ALL OF YOU PEOPLE SUCK! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Haru- But, I've come to the conclusion that he is a rabbit.

Shigure- HAHAHA!

(Akito shot a glare at Shigure)

Shigure- I mean uh, not funny at all...

Haru- I understand that, a lot of people cared about Stinky and- Who is making that tapping sound?

(Akito looked around)

Akito- Huh? Tapping sound? I hear no tapping sound. GET BACK TO YOUR SPEECH!

Haru- Anyways, I can tell that Stinky was greatly loved but now that he is gone- WHO IS MAKING THAT TAPPING SOUND?! IT IS SO FREAKING ANNOYING!

Shigure- Haru...

Haru- I'M UP HERE TRYING TO SAY A DAMN SPEECH FOR A STUPID RABBIT THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW, AND SOME IDIOT IN THE CROWD KEEPS INTERUPTING ME WITH THAT DAMN TAPPING SOUND!

Hiro- Whoa...

Kisa- Oh my...

Isuzu- He went black.

Shigure- Oh dear...

Hatori- Figures.

Ayame- I hope he doesn't break anything. I made the decorations myself.

Akito- HOW DARE YOU CALL STINKY STUPID! I HATE YOU! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Haru stomped over to Akito, and Akito jumped)

Haru- YOU HATE ME?! WELL GUESS WHAT?! I HATE YOU! AND I HATE YOUR DAMN RABBIT TOO! I'M GLAD HE'S GONE! SO HA HA HA! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Hatori grabbed Haru, and dragged him away from the funeral, but not before he got the last word in)

Haru- YOU WILL ALL SUFFER! Except for Isuzu, and Yuki...YOU WILL ALL SUFFER! AND WHOEVER WAS MAKING THAT TAPPING SOUND WILL SUFFER EVEN MORE!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Then Hatori dragged Haru into the Main House and quickly returned to his seat outside. Akito was stunned. A servant was trying to get him to speak)

Servant- Akito? Akito are you alright? He is gone Akito. Say something...

(Akito took in a deep breath)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOBODY LOVES ME! EVERYONE HATES ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Shigure held out a tissue to Akito)

Shigure- Here you go Akito. ^_^

Akito- GET AWAY FROM ME!

Servant- Is there anything that you want me to do Akito?

Akito- GET ON WITH THE FUNERAL!

(The servant jumped)

Servant- Yes! Right away!

(Shigure watched as Akito wrote more stuff on the piece of paper)

Shigure- Moving me up to first place, huh? I knew you would! ^_^

Akito- NO I AM NOT! I'm moving Haru down to the bottom. That's what he gets for yelling at me! HA!

Shigure- Dammit!

Servant- Momiji, it's your turn.

Momiji- Yay!

(Momiji rushes to the stage)

Momiji- Akito, I can't exactly describe how lucky you were to have Stinky in your life, but during his life you must have been the luckiest person in the world!

Akito- WAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAWAAAAA! I was, wasn't I? Yes, I was super-lucky!

Momiji- Stinky was truly special! He brought out the best in everyone!

Hiro- Will he ever shut up?

Kisa- Hiro, this is a funeral. Could you try to be a little nicer?

Momiji- My wish is that the priceless memory of Stinky will continue to live on in Akito's heart! Thank you!

(As Momiji left the stage, everyone clapped, but Akito was the one who clapped the loudest)

Akito- WAAAAAAAAAAAH! Now I don't know who should be at the top! Ayame was terrific, but Momiji...

Shigure- Can you switch me with Kureno now?

Akito- No. Don't ask.

Shigure- Damn!

Servant- Next, we need Kisa to come onto the stage.

(Blushing, Kisa rose to her feet)

Kisa- I hope I make the Head of the Family happy...

(When Kisa reached the stage, Shigure, Ayame and Momiji jumped up)

Shigure- DO IT NOW!

(Shigure lifted up his shirt, and turned around to reveal, a K on his back. Ayame, and Momiji did the same, and on Ayame's back was an I, and on Momiji's back was a S)

Akito- AGH! WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT?! THIS A FUNERAL, NOT A CONTEST!

Hiro- That...is...so...STUPID!

Ayame- Stand up Tori-san, you have the A...don't you?

Hatori- I told you already, that I wasn't going to do it. But yet again, do you listen? No.

Momiji- Ha'ri you suck! Not only did you ruin Yuki's, but now you ruined Kisa's! NOW BECAUSE OF YOU IT SAYS "KIS"!

(Kisa was blushing harder than ever)

Kisa- I don't know what...to say...

(Shigure, Momiji, and Ayame sat back down)

Shigure- SORRY KISA!

(They all shot a glare at Hatori, who said nothing)

Kisa- Well, I'm very sorry that your rabbit died Akito...and I know how sad you must feel but-

Akito- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kisa- But, you will overcome it. I know you will. Just remember all of the happy times you and Stinky spent together.

Akito- B-B-B-BEAUTIFUL!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kisa- I'm sure that Stinky wouldn't want you to be sad, and besides, his memory will always live on in your heart. Thank you.

(Kisa left the stage)

Akito- WAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Servants- AWWWWW! (Sniff) GAAAAHAAAAHAAAA!

Akito- (Sniff) That was so wonderful! She goes in front of Kureno!

Shigure- Does that mean I'm in first now?

Akito- No, that means you move down another spot.

Shigure- DAMN! DAMN! DAMN!

Akito- Oh shut up.

Servant- H-H-Hiro is (Sniff) n-n-next! GAAGAAGAAHAAAA!

Hiro- What? Who was this funeral for again? I wasn't paying attention...

Servant- HIRO!

(Hiro walked slowly onto the stage)

Hiro- Ummmm....uh...

Akito- Well?

Hiro- Stinky was a...was a...

(Shigure held up a piece of paper that said rabbit written on it, but what he didn't realize, was that it was upside down)

Hiro- He was a...huh? A...ti99b? What does that say?

Shigure- Huh?

Akito- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??!!

(Shigure looked at the paper)

Shigure- OH! My bad!

(Shigure flipped the paper the right way)

Hiro- Stinky was a RABBIT! OH! Okay, Stinky was a rabbit, there you go. Stinky was a great rabbit that everybody loves, bye-bye!

(Hiro dashed off stage)

Akito- What does ti99b mean?

Shigure- Don't know...heehee...

(Akito began writing)

Akito- (Reading what he was writing) Called my rabbit a ti99b...must be some other language for awesome rabbit...

Shigure- So am I first NOW?

Akito- No. Hiro goes in front of Kureno, which means you move down another spot.

Shigure- But-

Akito- HUSH!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- SHUT IT!

Shigure- Dammit...

Servant- Last, but definitely NOT least, are very own, Head of the Family.

(Akito rushed onto the stage)

Akito- May I have the papers please?

Servant- Of course.

Shigure- Papers?

(Two servants walked onto the stage carrying what looked like phone books)

Shigure- What are THOSE?!

Akito- My speech. ^_^

Shigure- Oh dear...

(Isuzu stood up)

Isuzu- I just remembered, I have to go home. ^_^

Kagura- Well, I have to find Kyo, so bye! ^_^

(Isuzu and Kagura dashed away)

Akito- WHERE ARE YOU GOING??!! YOU WILL LOSE POINTS FOR THIS!!

Shigure- How could this day get any worse?

Hatori- If I were you Shigure, I wouldn't say-

(Suddenly it began to pour)

Hatori- (Sigh) That.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hiro- Hell no are we staying for this Kisa!

Kisa- But-

(Hiro pulled Kisa away into the distance)

Shigure- Well, it can't get any-

(Hatori slapped a hand over Shigure's mouth)

Hatori- Shut up.

Akito- I DON'T CARE IF IT IS RAINING! THE FUNERAL MUST GO ON!

Servant- Akito, please let us hear your speech.

Akito- A-hem-

Shigure- Is there any way that we can listen to your speech without being soaked by the rain? ^_^

Akito- If you interrupt me one more time, I will move you all the way to the bottom of the list Shigure.

Shigure- Damn...

Akito- Anyways, first of all Stinky was the g-g-greatest r-r-rabbit ever. (Sniff) He was always there for me when I needed him. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori- This is going to go on forever...

Akito- We took baths together, and ate food together, and when I first got him I was an awful owner, but I learned.

Shigure- HA!

Akito- Shigure...

Shigure- Oops, sorry.

Akito- I knew right away that I was going to name him Stinky, because he smelled like shit. I never k-k-knew how close w-w-we would c-come! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- (Sigh) Akito, the rain is really-

Akito- SHUT UP! Stinky was so great. I loved him so much. I never thought that I w-w-ould lose h-him! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!

(TWO HOURS LATER)

Shigure- Save me, save me.

Akito- (Sniff) Did I mention that I LOVE Stinky? Yes I love him so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, much! WAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA!! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE IS GONE F-F-FOREVER!

Servant- Come on Akito, you have said enough.

Akito- Rest in peace my dear Stinky, I love you! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Two servants helped Akito off the stage)

Shigure- (Whispering) Finally...

(Right when the funeral was about to end, Ren jumped onto the stage)

Akito- AAAH! YOU!

Ren- I have something to say.

Akito- NO YOU DO NOT!

Ren- First of all-

Akito- SHE WAS BANNED FROM COMING HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ren- As I was-

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ren- SHUT THE HELL UP AND LET ME SPEAK!

Akito- NO! NO! NO! GET HER AWAY FROM ME! I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR HER SPEAK!

Ren- I am so sad that Stinky is dead...

Akito- Huh?

Ren- Yes, I am very sad. I am so sad, because he died before I got to EAT HIM IN RABBIT SOUP JUST LIKE I DID FATTY!

Akito- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'LL KILL HER!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito jumped on stage and tackled Ren)

Ren- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET HIM OFF OF ME!

Akito- I'LL KILL YOU! RAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Shigure jumped up)

Shigure- FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Hatori- Oh god.

Ayame- I hope they don't get blood on my beautiful decorations...

Hatori- Oh shut up!

Shigure- Hey Hatori look, both of their T-shirts are wet! ^_^

(Hatori smacked Shigure)

Shigure- HEY! What was that for?

Hatori- You are one sick little man.

Shigure- And proud of it! ^_^

Momiji- Kureno is going to take me home, Shigure. By everyone!

Shigure- Are you sure that you want to get in the car with HIM?!

Momiji- What is wrong with that? Kureno's nice.

Shigure- You keep thinking that.

(Hatori smacked Shigure again)

Shigure- OOWW! HEY!

Hatori- Quit filling his head with lies. Momiji, go on home, don't listen to Shigure.

Momiji- Okay, bye! ^_^

Shigure- You just watch Hatori, there will be a report of a kidnapping on the 10:00 news...

Hatori- Oh be quiet. Now who wants to break up the fight?

Shigure- Fight? OH YEAH THE FIGHT!

(Akito and Ren were rolling around on the stage hitting all of the decorations, and Ayame was running around going crazy, and Ritsu was screaming, "I'M SORRY!" as he ran home)

Ayame- My decorations! My decorations! What do I do?! WHAT DO I DO?! SOMEBODY STOP THEM!

Akito- YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR TALKING BAD ABOUT STINKY YOU WITCH!

Ren- I HOPE STINKY DIED A HORRIBLE, AND PAINFUL DEATH! HAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA!

Akito- SHUT UP!

Ren- MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DISERVE! HAHAHAHAHA! (Choke) MUHA! MUHA! MUHAHAHAHA! MUHA! HAHAHAHA! (Wheeze) EVERYONE HATES YOU! MUHA! HAHAHAHA! MUHAHA! MUHA!

Akito- I WILL MURDER YOU! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- Now now...

Hatori- I will get Akito, you get Ren.

Shigure- NO! I will get AKITO. YOU can have REN.

Hatori- Fine you big baby.

Shigure- Yay! ^_^

(Shigure walked up to Akito and Ren and pried them off of each other)

Akito- LET ME AT HER! I WAS WINNING! I WAS! RAAAAAAAAAH!

Ren- Oh, Hatori, your arms feel SO good around ME.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAH! HATORI GET AWAY! SHIGURE LET GO OF ME! LET ME AT HER! DON'T HOLD ME BACK! HAND ME SOMETHING TO THROW! IT WILL HIT HER! IT WILL! MY AIM IS PERFECT!

Hatori- Stop it you two. Ren go inside.

(Hatori let go of Ren's arms)

Ren- Such a shame...

Akito- RAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA! GET AWAY FROM MY ZODIAC!

(Suddenly Ren's eyes sparkled)

Ren- I made up a song. ^_^

Akito- OH GREAT! NOW WE HAVE TO HEAR YOUR AWFUL VOICE TOO??!! GO AWAY!

Ren- Akito is so lame, giving birth to him was such a mistake! I hate him, and I wish he would drown in the lake! Hmmm...STINKY IS DEAD! STINKY IS DEAD! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Akito- I WILL KILL YOU!

(Ren put a hand to her ear)

Ren- Hmm...where have I heard that before?

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori- Ren, go inside.

(Ren began to walk inside, but shot one last look at Akito)

Ren- Oh, Shigure, you are holding the wrong woman.

(Then Ren walked away)

Ayame- Are my decorations okay?

Hatori- (Sigh) You never quit, do you?

Ayame- Nope! ^_^

(Akito pushed away from Shigure)

Akito- Leave me alone...

(Akito walked away to the place where they buried Stinky)

Shigure- You think that he is going to be okay Hatori?

Hatori- Yeah. Just let him cry for awhile. Maybe you should stay tonight, and comfort him.

Shigure- YES! ^_^

Hatori- Not like THAT you sicko...

Shigure- Oh right...

Ayame- Well, my friends, I must be going. My shop awaits me! ^_^

Shigure- Good-bye Aya! ^_^

Ayame- Good-bye Gure-san, love you too Tori-san! ^_^

Hatori- Yeah...

(Ayame left)

Hatori- So what ever happened to Yuki?

Shigure- You know what? I really don't know.

**A/N: Please don't hate me, please don't hate me! Stinky's death was planned from the beginning, so I'm sorry! Don't worry, no more sad stuff right now. Please still love me and review me! (Pwease?) ^_^ Thank you to all of my readers and reviewers that have come with me so far.**


	32. Chapter 32: House Repairs & ByeBye Pie

**A/N: In the right corner, Yuki Sohma! In the left corner, Kyo Sohma! The battle field, you ask? Shigure's house of course! Who will win this battle, when all they have is what can be found in the house? DUN-DUN-DUN!!! Seriously guys, I know you are going to _love_ this one.**

**---**

Chapter 32: House Repairs and Bye-Bye Pie

LATER THAT NIGHT

(Yuki calls Shigure)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-ring-ring

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- TOHRU! WHAT DID KYO DO TO YOU??!!

Yuki- This...is...

Shigure- Huh?

Yuki- Yuki...this...is... (Gasp)...Yuki...

Shigure- YUKI?! You sound awful!

Yuki- I...just...got...home...so...tired...

Shigure- IT TOOK YOU OVER TWO HOURS TO RUN HOME??!! BUT YOU ARE FAST YUKI!

Yuki- On my way home...I twisted my...ankle...

Shigure- Then what happened?

Yuki- I HAD TO _CRAWL_ ALL THE WAY HOME!

(Shigure lurched back)

Shigure- Well, you don't have to yell...

Yuki- I'm at the window right now...and- OH MY GOD!

Shigure- What is it?

Yuki- KYO IS PRACTICLY ON TOP OF HONDA-SAN! THEY ARE MAKING OUT AS WE SPEAK! OH MY LORD!

Shigure- I bet that they are having fun! ^_^

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- Upset are you?

Yuki- No! Well yes, but MY ANKLE HURTS LIKE HELL!

Shigure- I would go stop them, it might go further than just kissing....

Yuki- AAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH! NO! I WON'T ALLOW IT! HURT ANKLE OR NOT, I SHALL SAVE HONDA -SAN FROM THE FIENDISH CLUTCHES OF KYO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HE IS TAKING OFF HIS SHIRT! I'M COMING HONDA-SAN!

(Yuki meant to hang up, but he didn't push the button right so Shigure heard everything. First the door slammed)

Yuki- GET OFF OF HONDA-SAN YOU DIRTY SCUM BAG!

Tohru- (Gasp) Yuki-kun! Ummmm...I uh...

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- YOU SICKO! I HOPE YOU DIE! TAKE THIS! AND THAT!

Tohru- YUKI! DON'T HURT HIM PLEASE!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!! GET OFF OF ME CHEESE MUNCHER! I LIKE GIRLS!

Yuki- YOU SICK- Oh, the phone is still on.

(Shigure was disconnected)

Shigure- Poor Kyo....

(Shigure hung up the phone and walked to Akito's room)

Shigure- I wonder where he is...

(Just then Akito walked out of the bathroom)

Akito- Stupid mother I hate her so-

Shigure- HI AKITO! ^_^

(Akito fell backwards in shock)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (CRASH) OH, MY BACK!

(Shigure knelt down next to Akito)

Shigure- Hi! ^_^

Akito- WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?! CAN'T I EVER GET TWO MINUTES WITHOUT YOU POPPING UP OUT OF NO WHERE?! YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME! I THOUGHT I HAD A STALKER IN MY ROOM!

(Akito paused for a moment then stood up)

Akito- What am I talking about? You _ARE_ a stalker!

Shigure- No I'm not. ^_^

Akito- Why are you always so damn happy?

Shigure- I don't know. ^_^

Akito- Get away from me.

Shigure- But-

Akito- I said GET!

Shigure- Awww, so touchy...

(Akito stood up and walked over to his bed)

Akito- Are you leaving?

Shigure- No. ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHH!!!

(Kyo calls Shigure)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Akito- Who is that?

Shigure- Why do YOU care?

Akito- (Scowling) I don't...

Shigure- Maybe it's my new girlfriend...

Akito- Your what?!

Shigure- (Evil grin) I thought you didn't care?

Akito- Shut up!

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- Hey Yuki, did you kick Kyo's ass?

Kyo- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??!!

Shigure- Who is this?

Kyo- This is Kyo.

Shigure- Oh, my bad.

Akito- Dumb-ass...

Shigure- Hey now! Anyways, yes Kyo, what is it?

Kyo- WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU SEND YUKI HOME??!!

Shigure- I didn't send him anywhere. He came home by himself.

Kyo- Oh. DAMMIT! SHIGURE I NEED YOUR HELP! YUKI LOCKED TOHRU IN THE BACK ROOM TO KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME, AND HE WON'T GIVE ME THE KEY TO THE ROOM!

Shigure- My, that could be a problem...

Kyo- AND HE IS COMING AT ME WITH A CHAIR! AAAAAAH! (WHACK) HA! YOU MISSED ME! HA HA!

Shigure- You're lucky. He would have been at the house sooner if he hadn't twisted his ankle.

Kyo- WHAT?! HE TWISTED HIS ANKLE AND HE IS STILL BEATING ME?! HOW?! (WHACK) _HOW?!_

Yuki- I WILL KILL YOU FOR KISSING HONDA-SAN!!

Kyo- OH YEAH?! I'LL SHOW YOU, MISTER DISABLED!

(Kyo threw a lamp at Yuki's ankle)

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY ANKLE!

Kyo- YEAH! I GOT HIM! HE'S DOWN! I WIN! I WIN!

Shigure- Kyo- I hope you are NOT wrecking my house.

Kyo- Yeah, about that... OH SHIT! HE IS GETTING UP! AAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAAH!

(Shigure was disconnected)

Shigure- My house is going to be a wreck when I get home!

(Before Shigure could put down his phone it rang again)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- Oh what is it now?

Akito- (Snort) HAHAHA!

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- Yes?

Kyo- SHI-GU-RE! HELP ME! YUKI IS THROWING PLATES AT ME! AND- GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WATCH WHERE YOU THROW THOSE!

Yuki- GIVE ME THAT PHONE! I WILL KILL YOU!

Shigure- I have come to the conclusion that you are in the kitchen.

Kyo- WELL DUH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOT THE KNIVES! ARE YOU CRAZY??! (SWISH) AAAAAAAAAH! Oh, hahaha! YOU MISSED ME! ^_^ (SWISH) HEY, THAT WAS A BUTTER KNIFE!!

Yuki- YOU'RE RIGHT! I SHOULD USE SOMETHING SHARPER!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (SWISH) GEEZ! (SWISH) OH GOD! (SWISH) HAHA! I DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT, BUT I DODGED THE KNIVES! SO HAHAHAHAHA! (SWISH) (CRASH) ACK! Shigure, do you like that vase that sits on the counter?

Shigure- Yes, very much.

Kyo- Well about that... (SWISH) GAAAAHAAAAAHAAAA!

Yuki- YES!

Kyo- THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHIRT!! OKAY RAT BOY, IT'S ON NOW! I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS! (SWISH) NOT THE FORKS TOO!

Yuki- STAND _STILL_!

Kyo- _NEVER!_

Shigure- Please stop wrecking my house...

Akito- Heeheehahahaha! And I'm not paying for the repairs! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUHA! MUHA!

Shigure- Yuki? Kyo?

Kyo- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ACK! NOT THE SHOWER! (WATER RUNNING) THAT IS ICE FREAKING COLD! HELP! HELP! Bluhbluhbluhbluh!

Yuki- YEAH! GIVE ME THAT PHONE!

Shigure- Hello?

Yuki- Hi. ^_^

Shigure- Yuki what are you doing?

Kyo- HELP ME! BLUHBLUHBLAHBLUHBLAH!

Yuki- I'M DROWNING THAT DUMB ASS CAT!

Kyo- BLAHAHAHAHA! (SPUTTER) BLAHAHAHAHA!

Shigure- So you are wrecking my bathroom now?

Yuki- I wouldn't say wrecking... where are you anyway?

Kyo- (Choke) (Cough) SHIGU- (Splash) BLAHBLUHBLAH!

Shigure- Well, I can't come home tonight Yuki, I have a job to do. And please stop drowning Kyo.

(Akito shot a look at Shigure)

Akito- WHAT?! _JOB_?! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM!

Yuki- Who is that?

(Akito threw a pillow at Shigure, which hit him and made him topple over)

Akito- GET OUT YOU SICKO!

Shigure- HEY! NOT LIKE THAT!

Akito- WITH YOU EVERYTHING IS _THAT_!

Shigure- Yes, well...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- What are you doing?

Shigure- Calm down my sweet. ^_^

Akito- STAY AWAY FROM ME! HAAAAAAAAAATORRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!

Yuki- Hatori? (CRASH) WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU STUPID CAT?!

Kyo- EAT SOAP LOSER! HAHAHAHAHA!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAH! (Muffled gagging)

(Shigure flinched)

Shigure- Oh dear...

Akito- I SAID GO!

Shigure- CALM DOWN!

Akito- NEVER!

Shigure- Don't make me start singing!

Akito- YOU WOULDN'T!

Shigure- Don't test me!

Akito- DON'T YOU DARE!

Shigure- (Singing) When you touch me like this...

Akito- AAAAAGGGGGH!

Shigure- (Singing) And when I kiss you like that...

Akito- OKAY! YOU WIN! SHUT UP!

Shigure- HA!

Kyo- I PUT SOAP IN HIS MOUTH! ^_^ Huh? Why were you singing?

Shigure- Uhh, no reason...

Kyo- WELL I PUT SOAP IN YUKI'S MOUTH! I HOPE YOU LIKE WATERMELON FLAVOR RAT BOY! HAHAHAHAHA! (MUFFLED COUGHING) MUHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT! HAHAHA!

Shigure- Kyo please stop wrecking my-

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- What now?!

Yuki- (Spitting) GIVE ME THAT DAMN PHONE!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- (Sigh) I picked the wrong night to leave them alone...

Akito- Muhahaha...

Shigure- What was that darling? ^_^

Akito- Nothing...muhaha...

Yuki- Shigure? Are you there?

Shigure- Huh? Oh yes, I'm here.

Yuki- Who were you just talking to? Are you out with a woman? SICKO!

Shigure- No and why is everyone calling me that today?

Yuki- HEY WATCH WHERE YOU ARE- (CRASH) (Glass shattering) OOH KYO! YOU KNOW SHIGURE LIKED THAT PICTURE!

Shigure- (Alarmed) Which picture?

Yuki- The one in the hallway.

Shigure- Oh, I thought you might have ruined the picture of Aki-

(Shigure stopped himself when Akito shot a glare at him)

Shigure- Hi! ^_^

Akito- Picture? What picture?

Shigure- Oh nothing! ^_^

Yuki- I'm sorry, I didn't catch the last thing you said. This damn fish lover is coming at me with something.

(There was a long moment of silence)

Shigure- What is he coming at you with?

Yuki- KYO IS THAT _PIE_?! AAAAAAAA- (SPLAT) BLAAAAAAH!

Shigure- MY PIE!

Akito- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kyo- YES! POINT FOR THE CAT! HAHAHAHA- (SPLAT) AAAAAAAAGGH!

Yuki- AND THAT ONE WAS CREAME FILLED! SO HA HA!

Shigure- Great. Now PIE is going to be scattered through my hallway....

Kyo- YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!

Yuki- BRING IT!

Shigure- What is going on now?

Kyo- YUKI! WATCH OUT FOR TOHRU'S BED! (CRASH) (CRACK) OH, YOU HAVE DONE IT NOW! OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! (WOOD CRACKING) PUT DOWN THE DOOR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- Shigure, When you get home, don't expect Honda-san to have a door anymore.

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! STOP WRECKING MY ONLY HOME! Unless...

(Shigure looked towards Akito)

Akito- Huh? OH NO! THAT IS YOUR ONLY HOME! YOU CANNOT, AND I MEAN NOT STAY HERE! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE ANYWAYS??! GO AWAY!

Shigure- You are no fun Akito.

Akito- Yeah yeah. Now go home.

Shigure- I will go home on ONE condition.

Akito- If it is what you are thinking about right now then no.

Shigure- Damn...

Akito- Now go to your probably destroyed home.

Shigure- (Crying) YUKI! KYO! STOP WRECKING MY ONLY HOME!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kyo- THAT'S RIGHT! I HAVE _COFFEE_! HOT BOILING COFFEE!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (SPLATTER) THAT HURTS!

Kyo- IT'S SUPPOSED TO HURT, DUMB-ASS!

Yuki- OH YEAH?! (BAM) HOW DO YOU LIKE ROMANCE NOVELS IN YOUR FACE!

Kyo- OOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!

Shigure- Romance novels? (Gasp) GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

Yuki- HAHAHAHA! (BAM) (BAM) (BAM) THERE ARE PLENTY OF THESE BOOKS TO THROW! HAHAHA! (BAM)

Kyo- STOP IT! I WILL KILL YOU!

Shigure- GET OUT OF MY ROOM! IT'S FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY!

(Suddenly Yuki tripped over another pile of romance novels, and went crashing down)

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (CRASH) MY FOOT!

Shigure- (Sigh) I tried to tell you...

Kyo- YUKI TRIPPED! I WIN! HAHAHAHA! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU GET! MUHAHAHA! (CHOKE) MUHAHAHA (WHEEZE) LOSER! HAHAHAHA! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Shigure- Does this mean that you will stop wrecking my house?

Akito- (Snicker) Heeheehahahaheeheehahahaheehaheeha! ^_^

Kyo- HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?!

Shigure- Kyo...

Kyo- OH CRAP HE IS GETTING UP! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- (POUNCE) RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Shigure was disconnected)

Akito- Muhahaha! ^_^

Shigure- Oh my poor house...

Akito- Muhaha...

(Tohru calls Shigure)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- GAH!

Akito- (CHOKE) MUHAHAHA! Oh god, this is the most fun I've had in the longest time! ^_^

(Shigure answers phone)

Shigure- WHAT DO YOU WANT KYO?!

Tohru- Ummm...this is Tohru...

Shigure- (Gasp) I'm sorry Tohru-kun! I thought you were Kyo. They have been calling me all-

(Shigure's eyes drifted down to a green journal lying under Akito's bed)

(Silence)

Shigure- Akito, is that MY journal?!

(Akito rushed over and grabbed the journal)

Akito- No, no. This is...my journal...

Shigure- NO IT'S NOT! THAT IS MINE! (Gasp) SO THAT'S WHERE IT HAS BEEN ALL THIS TIME! YOU _TOOK_ IT!

Tohru- Shigure? Are you at the Main House?

(Akito began to back away)

Akito- No, this journal is- Shigure I don't like the way you are looking at me...

(Shigure began to walk towards Akito)

Shigure- Akito, give that back...

(Akito clutched the book to his chest)

Akito- NO! IT'S MINE!

(Akito was cornered. So attempting to run away from Shigure, Akito tried to jump over his bed, which happened to be the fastest way to the door)

Akito- (JUMPED) RAAAAAAAAAH! (CRASH) AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- Idiot! Now give me my journal!

Tohru- Are you okay Shigure?

Shigure- Hold on a second Tohru. AKITO GIVE ME THAT!

Akito- NEVER! YOU WILL HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST!

Shigure- GIVE ME!

Akito- NO!

Shigure- _GIVE ME_!

Akito- NO!

Shigure- THERE IS STUFF IN THERE THAT I DON'T WANT YOU TO READ!

Akito- NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FELT WHEN YOU TOOK MY JOURNAL!

Shigure- GIVE IT BACK!

Akito- NO! IT'S _MINE_!

Tohru- Shigure? Akito? Someone....?

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAH! (CRASH)

Akito- (GASP) MY LAMP! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU KLUTZ!

Shigure- IF YOU WOULD JUST GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL, THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE HIT YOUR STUPID LAMP! NOW GIVE ME!

Akito- OVER MY DEAD BODY!

Shigure- A-KI-TO!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Tohru- Oh my...

Akito- (STRUGGLING) LET GO! I'M NEVER GIVING IT BACK! NEVER!

Shigure- JUST...LET...GO!

Akito- NO! YOU LET GO!

Shigure IT'S MY JOURNAL! YOU LET GO!

Akito- NO YOU!

Shigure- NO _YOU_!

(Akito kicks Shigure in the shin and makes a brake for his door)

Akito- MUHAHAHAHAHA! I WIN! THE JOURNAL IS- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Shigure tackled Akito)

Shigure- GIVE IT BACK TO ME AKITO!

Akito- AGH! GET OFF OF ME!

Shigure- GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL!

Akito- NO! NEVER! GET OFF! YOU WILL NEVER GET THIS BACK!

Tohru- Oh, please don't fight......ummm....

Shigure- LET GO AKITO!

Akito- NO! I ALREADY TOLD YOU! THIS IS MINE NOW! SO GET OFF OF ME, OR I SWEAR THAT I WILL-!

(Just then Kureno and Hatori walked in)

Kureno- Akito I wanted to say sorry about what I said at the- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU TWO DOING?!

Akito- GET HIM OFF OF ME!

Hatori- SHIGURE YOU PERV! GET OFF OF AKITO!

(Hatori pried Shigure off of Akito)

Shigure- TELL AKITO TO GIVE ME BACK MY JOURNAL!

Hatori- Akito....

(Akito stood up)

Akito- I have no idea what he is talking about....

Shigure- Yes you do!

Kureno- I'm going to have nightmares tonight.....

Shigure- OH SHUT UP KURENO!

Hatori- Shigure, it is 1:56am, would you explain what you were doing?

Shigure- Yes gladly. I was in here to check on Akito, and-

Akito- Right.

Shigure- I WAS! Then I kept getting phone calls from home because Yuki and Kyo were wrecking my house, then Tohru- (Gasp) I forgot about Tohru!

(Shigure rushed over to his cell phone)

Shigure- Hello? Tohru?

Tohru- Hello Shigure.

Shigure- Did you just hear all of that?

Tohru- Yes, kind of....

Shigure- Oh dear....

Akito- AGH! THAT LITTLE STALKER!

Shigure- Tohru, I forgot to ask you why you called.

Tohru- OH SHIGURE IT'S TERIBBLE! YUKI AND KYO ARE FIGHTING, AND I FINALLY GOT OUT OF THIS ROOM YUKI HAD ME IN, AND WHEN I WENT INTO MY ROOM, MY BED WAS BROKEN!

Shigure- YOUR BED WAS BROKEN?!

Akito- Heeheehahahahahheeheemuhahaha! ^_^

Tohru- YES! IT WAS BROKEN IT HALF!

Shigure- IN HALF??!!

Akito- (WHEEZE) (WHEEZE) HAHA! (CHOKE)

Tohru- Yeah...

Shigure- Oh dear....

Tohru- And I'm so afraid that someone is going to get really hurt and- why is there PIE in the hallway?

Shigure- (Sigh) What kind of pie is it?

Tohru- Let s see, strawberry...ummm, oh that looks like banana creame...

Shigure- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE BANANA CREAME! THAT ONE IS MY FAVORITE!!

Akito- Banana creame? What the-?

Tohru- OH WHAT A MESS! Where did all this soap come from and- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THE SHOWER IS RUNNING!

(Tohru shut off the shower)

Shigure- IS THE HOUSE FLOODED??!!

Tohru- Yes...and...no...

Shigure- Huh?

Tohru- Well the _HOUSE_ isn't flooded...

Shigure- Thank goodness! ^_^

Tohru- But the bathroom is...

Shigure- AGH!

Akito- You sound upset Shigure...muhahaha...

Shigure- Okay, I'll come home tomorrow.

Akito- What? _Tomorrow_? You are not staying here! You are going to make him leave, right Hatori?

Hatori- Just tonight Shigure.

Shigure- YAY! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NO! NO!

Shigure- Okay, bye Tohru. Tell the boys that if they destroy my house ANY more, I will kill them both when I get home tomorrow.

Tohru- Okay. Good-bye Shigure-san. ^_^

Shigure- Good-bye Tohru! ^_^

(Shigure hung up and shot a look at Akito)

Akito- QUIT STARING AT ME! LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE!

Shigure- HA HA HA! I get to stay! Yay! ^_^

Akito- EVERYBODY OUT!

(Hatori, Shigure, and Kureno left Akito's room)

(Akito slammed the door shut)

Shigure- Akito, could I sleep in-?

(Akito locked his door)

Shigure- Damn...

**A/N: (Squeals in delight) Did you love that or not? I hope you loved it because I do!! R&R my lovely reader friends! Chapter 33 will not be far behind! ^_^ This chapter and the next have to be my all time favorites! Please read and review! Many thanks to LOTR_junkie for your ideas, I will try to use them in upcoming chapters. And also, if you like my stories, please go to AnimeFan4Eternity's profile and read the story we created together. Thanks again! ^_^**


	33. Chapter 33: The Wreck

**A/N: Hey guys. We are at chapter 33. YAY! ^_^ Thank you to all of my readers. How you enjoy my latest masterpiece! (LOL) Sorry it took so long. School just started and it's killing me.**

**---**

Chapter 33: The Wreck

THE NEXT MORNING

(Akito slowly began to wake up)

Akito- (Asleep) Stinky...

(Akito opened his eyes to see Shigure's face)

Akito- What the-?

(Shigure opened his eyes and smiled)

Shigure- Did you sleep good darling? ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Out of shock, Akito flipped off the bed and went crashing to the floor)

Akito- AAAAAAAAH! (CRASH) Ohhhh...my head...

(Shigure poked his head over the bed to look down at Akito)

Shigure- Wow, that looked like it hurt. You okay?

(Akito shot Shigure an evil glare)

Akito- First of all, NO, I am NOT okay. Second, why in the hell are you in my bed? Do you enjoy stalking me?

Shigure- Yes, as a matter of fact I LOVE to stalk you. ^_^

Akito- That just leaves two questions. One, why were you in my bed? And two, how do you even know how to unlock the door to this room? I locked it last night!

Shigure- Hmmm, let's see...I was in your bed because I know you like it and-

Akito- (Gasp) I DO NOT!

Shigure- Yes you do. Anyways, how I got in your room is for me to know, and for you to never know.

Akito- Get out.

Shigure- Let me help you up sweety! ^_^

(Shigure stood up, and began to walk over to Akito)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!! GET AWAY FROM ME! STAY AWAY!

Shigure- Touchy....

Akito- Damn right I'm touchy! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!

Shigure- Awwww......I'll just go see Ren then....

(Akito jumped up)

Akito- YOU STAY AWAY FROM THAT WOMAN!

Shigure- I will if you give me a kiss....

Akito- HELL NO!

Shigure- Bye! ^_^

(Shigure began to walk to the door)

Akito- WAIT!

(Shigure turned around)

Shigure- Yes darling? ^_^

Akito- Fine. But I'm NOT kissing you on the lips. Take it or leave it.

Shigure- I'LL TAKE IT! ^_^

Akito- Ugh...

(Akito was about to give Shigure a peck on the cheek when he turned around, and instead of on the cheek, Akito ended up kissing Shigure on the mouth)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY DID YOU DO THAT??!

Shigure- I have to go to my most likely wrecked home, bye! ^_^

(Shigure dashed from the room)

Akito- SHI-GU-RE!! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(WHEN SHIGURE GOT HOME)

(Walking up to the house, Shigure could already see that something was wrong. First of all, two windows were gone, and when he reached the house, he saw that there was no front door)

Shigure- (Thinking) Something is different....

(Shigure took a step inside his house just to see that the living room was completely destroyed. The lamp was broken, the couch looked as if someone had took a saw to it, oh and not to mention all of the forks and knives stuck in it)

Shigure- I liked that couch.  
(Shigure looked to see the TV on the floor, not broken, but close to it, and jelly buns smashed on the screen)

Shigure- Dear oh dear....

(When Shigure reached the kitchen, he couldn't even walk in it because of all the glass. Plates were shattered, a vase was broken, food was scattered everywhere, and the fridge was emptied)

Shigure- Goodness....

(Right when Shigure walked down the hallway, he stepped in strawberry pie. Pie was everywhere. On the walls, the floor, even the ceiling)

Shigure- All my pies! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

(Shigure took one peak into the bathroom. The sink had a leak, the toilet seat was gone, it smelled like it was mildewing, soap littered the floor, (and parts of the hallway) and everything was soaked)

Shigure- Just take a deep breath Shigure, it will be okay...

(Shigure opened the door to Kyo's room and gasped. Part of his wall was missing, EVERY window was gone, his bed wasn't even there, and everything but two books were smashed)

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! MY HOUSE!

(Shigure rushed to Yuki's room and it looked exactly the same. Shigure then went to Tohru's room. Just as Yuki had said, there was no door to Tohru's room and Tohru was sitting on half of her broken bed watching Kyo and Yuki lying on the floor trying to punch each other. Shigure could tell that they were filthy, and exhausted)

Shigure- There are the little home wreckers.

Kyo- Come here........you damn.......damn rat.....

Yuki- I.......will......kill you......

(Kyo punched Yuki in the arm)

Yuki- OW!

(Yuki kicked Kyo in the leg then they both jumped up)

Kyo- YOU WANNA START THIS AGAIN!

Yuki- BRING IT ON!

(Right when they were about to tackle each other, they both fell back down to the floor)

Kyo- Damn...you...

Yuki- Shut...up...

Tohru- They have been doing that for hours now....

Shigure- I see.

(Shigure looked around Tohru's room. Her bed was indeed smashed, and her room looked worse than Kyo's or Yuki's. Different things were scattered across her floor. Something sticky was stuck in her floor, (Pie most likely) all her windows were either broken, or cracked, there were many holes in her walls, mud was all over the room, along with pie, paint, a number of other foods, ink, paper, soap, and stains)

Shigure- Oh, Tohru I'm so sorry.

Tohru- It is okay Shigure-san. I'm more worried about what they did to your room...

Shigure- (Gasp) That's right! I forgot all about my room!

(Shigure dashed from Tohru's room, and Yuki and Kyo looked at each other)

Kyo and Yuki- Uh oh...

(Shigure opened the door to his room)

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY ROMANCE NOVELS!! (Sobbing) NOOOOOOOOOOOO! MOONLIGHT MADNESS! COZY IN THE CABBIN! A STRANGER'S LOVE! KISSED BY A STALKER! THE NERD WHO COULD!

(Kyo and Yuki had managed to drag themselves into Shigure's room)

Kyo- What in the world are you talking about?

Yuki- He is naming off the romance novels we destroyed...

Shigure- A SQUIRREL NAMED NUTTY!

Kyo- AGH! SICK! WHAT KIND OF NAME IS THAT?!

Shigure- It's for children!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT?!

Kyo- YOU MAKE THOSE FOR KIDS??! THAT IS SICKER THAN SICK!

Shigure- (Sigh) No, Kyo. It is a children's book about a Squirrel named Nutty. It isn't a romance novel!

Kyo- Oh...

Yuki- That would make more sense...

(Shigure found a book that didn't look like it was destroyed and picked it up)

Shigure- This one looks okay...

(But when he opened the book, coffee stained almost every page)

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IS THAT COFFEE!! YOU BROUGHT COFFEE IN MY ROOM! UGH! I LIKED THIS ONE TO!

(Shigure started sobbing over more books)

Shigure- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SITTING BY THE FIRE! THE NIGHT THEY WERE LEFT ALONE! THE KING'S DAUGHTER! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOT A COWBOY NAMED BUCKY! NOOOOOOOO!

Kyo- A cowboy named Bucky?

Yuki- I don't want to know...

Shigure- IT'S A CHILDREN'S BOOK!

(Shigure looked around, and saw a huge white stain on his carpet)

Shigure- What is THAT??!!

Yuki- I think it's bleach. Right Kyo?

Kyo- Shut up! I had to throw something. I didn't know that it stained carpets.....

Shigure- Ugh....

(Suddenly Hatori appeared in front of Shigure and the others holding a video camera)

Shigure- OH HATORI! DO YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID TO MY HOUSE??!! DO YOU SEE? Wait, why are you holding a video camera?

(Hatori walked into Tohru's room)

Hatori- And here is Tohru's room and- AAAAAH! IS THAT PIE I STEPPED IN? You guys really ruined this house...

Kyo- Why are you recording this?

Yuki- Seriously...

Hatori- Akito wanted me to get a video of the house after you two destroyed it.

Shigure- WHAT? NO!

(Hatori walked into the bathroom)

Hatori- Here is the bathroom.

Shigure- HATORI STOP!

(Hatori walked up to Kyo and Yuki)

Hatori- Look how dirty these two are.

Kyo- Get that thing out of my face!

(Hatori poked the camera into Shigure's room)

Shigure- HAAAAAAAAATORRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Hatori- All of the romance novels are ruined. Is that bleach on the floor? Ooh, that is going to leave a HUGE stain.

Shigure- Okay Hatori, you had your fun, now go.

(Shigure pointed to the spot where the front door should be)

Hatori- Fine, fine I'm leaving. I got all of the rooms anyways...

Shigure- What?

Hatori- Nothing. ^_^

(Right before Hatori left he said one more thing)

Hatori- Oh look, jelly buns are on the TV screen.

(Then Hatori was gone)

(Shigure walked over to his broken window)

Shigure- At least you didn't break my walls down....

Yuki- Shigure I wouldn't-

(Suddenly the wall began to fall inwards)

(Shigure closed his eyes and covered his head)

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(CRASH)

(When the dust cleared and Shigure opened his eyes, he was standing in the center of the window)

Yuki- WHOA! HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!

Kyo- I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD FOR SURE!

Shigure- That's...nice...to...know...

(Tohru rushed into the room)

Tohru- I JUST HEARD A LOUD CRASH, IS EVERYONE OKAY?!

Kyo- Ask Shigure. He looks paralyzed.

Tohru- Are you okay Shigure?

Shigure- I'm perfectly...fine...

(Shigure walked over to Yuki and Kyo)

Shigure- Well, I do hope the two of you know that YOU will be paying for the repairs to this house.

(Yuki and Kyo's head sunk)

Shigure- And, you should be ashamed! You destroyed Tohru's room, and the stuff in it.

Kyo- Sorry Tohru...

Yuki- Sorry Honda-san...

Tohru- It's okay. ^_^

Shigure- Are you two TRULY sorry?

Kyo and Yuki- Yes...

Shigure- Okay then. I will just go get the Main House to pay for the repairs.

Kyo- Huh?

Yuki- But I thought you said-?

Shigure- I am NOT waiting TWO YEARS for you two to earn enough money to pay for the repairs.

Kyo- It wouldn't...take me...THAT long...

Shigure- Right...

(Shigure put on his coat and headed for the door)

Shigure- I will be back before dinner.

**A/N: OMG I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I hope you guys loved it too. ^_^ Please read and review. I love hearing what you guys think about my story. Thank you to everyone who supports me, and I am so happy that we have finally passed the 300 review mark. I love you guys! Also, if you like my stories, please go to AnimeFan4Eternity's profile and read the story we are writing together. Thanks. ^_^ Oh and I did (With help from my sis) come up w/ every name of Shigure's romance novels. Please don't steal.**


	34. Chapter 34: Ajkito

**A/N: OMG I AM TOTALLY ON A SUGAR RUSH RIGHT NOW AND I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS CRAZY BUT BECAUSE IT WAS WRITTEN RIGHT NOW WHEN I M ON A SUGAR SUGAR RUSH! HOPE YOU LOVE IT! ^_^**

**---**

Chapter 34: Ajkito

BACK AT THE MAIN HOUSE

Akito- Hmmm...I don't want to do work today.....I wish I had another me...

(Akito jumped up)

Akito- I'm brilliant! I WILL make another me! It can do all of my work, and I can relax! But first....

(Akito began putting extra locks on his door)

Akito- I won't come out until the new me is finished! Wait....but how will I eat....hmmm, this could be a problem...

(Akito's eyes brightened)

Akito- I KNOW!

(Akito calls friend named Bobby)

Bobby's phone- Ring-ring-ring

Bobby- Hello?

Akito- Bobby?

Bobby- This is Bobby.

Akito- This is Akito.

Bobby- Akito?! Well what can I do for you?

Akito- I need you to stop by the Main House. I have a project for you.

Bobby- Sure thing. I will be right over.

Akito- Thanks Bobby.

Bobby- No problem!

(Akito hung up)

Akito- My plan is working to perfection....now all I need is lots of metal....

(Just then Bobby walked in through the door)

Akito- Wow, that was fast...

Bobby- Well when I heard you needed help, I came right away. ^_^ Now what is it that you need help on?

Akito- I want to make another me. A robot.

Bobby- I can do that.

Akito- Also, can you install something in my door for me?

Bobby- Sure, what is it?

Akito- A smaller door, and a tray. I don't want to be bothered when we are working. Oh, yeah, and I need the most powerful locks you have.

Bobby- Okay.

Akito- Oh and don't worry, you will be paid a great sum for all of this.

Bobby- That's why I like working for you. ^_^

Akito- Okay, let s get to work.

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN SHIGURE GOT TO THE MAIN HOUSE

(Shigure walked up to Akito's door)

Shigure- (Knocking) Akito I'm coming in! ^_^

(Shigure tried to open the door but it was locked)

Shigure- HA HA! Too easy...

(Shigure took out a pin and began to pick the lock, but still couldn't get in afterwards)

Shigure- What the-?

Akito- GO AWAY!

Shigure- Akito, can you let me in?

Akito- No. I already told you, GO AWAY! I'm busy.

Shigure- Doing what?

Bobby- Okay, now slide this in there.

Shigure- Huh? Who is that? Why is there a man in your room?

Akito- I TOLD YOU GO AWAY!

Shigure- I swear Akito, if Kureno is in there I'm gonna-

(Suddenly Kureno, and Hatori walked up)

Hatori- Shigure what are you doing? I thought I told you to stop stalking Akito.

Shigure- Shh...listen! Akito is in there with another man and it sounds like something is going on.

(Hatori and Kureno pressed their ears to Akito's door)

Bobby- Slowly now, you don't want to break it.

Akito- Is this okay?

Bobby- That's perfect.

Shigure and Kureno- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori- SHUT UP!

Akito- Are you still out there Shigure? DIDN'T I JUST SAY TO BEAT IT! GO AWAY! I WANT TO BE ALONE!

Shigure- It sure doesn't sound like that.

Akito- Whatever...GO!

Shigure- I hope you aren't doing anything stupid...because if you are...you will regret it later!

Akito- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Shigure- Don't act retarded! Everyone can hear that you have a man in your room!

Akito- Yes...and?

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- He is a mechanic Shigure.

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- We are building something!

Shigure- AAAAAAA- Building something? Like what?

Akito- None of your business! Now get!

(Hatori began to walk away)

Hatori- Come on Kureno, come on Shigure lets go.

Shigure- Wait! I still have one more question. Akito, how are you going to eat?

Akito- Press the red button on the door.

(Shigure pressed the red button on Akito's door, and a tray popped out, and a voice spoke)

Voice- Place food and water here. When you have, press the red button again.

Shigure- What the hell?

Akito- Isn't Bobby a genius?

Shigure- Who the hell is Bobby?

Akito- (Sigh) Bobby, is the mechanic Shigure.

Shigure- Oh....

Akito- Now go away!

Shigure- Okay fine. Wait! One more thing.

Akito- WHAT?

Shigure- Can you please pay for the bill to repair my house? PLEASE?

Akito- HA! AS IF! I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT I'M NOT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Shigure- PRETTY PLEASE?

Akito- No. Muha muha....

Shigure- (Sigh) Okay. I'm sure REN-SAN will pay for it....

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Suddenly Akito's hand came through the slot in his door)

Akito- GIVE ME THE DAMN BILL!

Shigure- YAY! ^_^

(Shigure plopped the bill in Akito's hand)

Akito- NOW SCRAM!

(Shigure dashed away as Akito opened the bill)

Akito- AGH! $150,607.89! OH MY GOD!! SHI-GU-RE!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

THE NEXT DAY

Akito- IT'S FINISHED! HURRAY! HURRAY!

Bobby- Well, all you have to do now is name it.

(Akito walks over to the keyboard and begins to type in "Akito" but accidentally types "Ajkito")

Akito- It looks just like me! ^_^ What next Bobby?

Bobby- Okay now talk to it. It should say something back to you.

Akito- Okay. Robot, what is your name?

Robot- My...name...is...Ajkito

Akito- Huh?

Ajkito- Ajkito is name.

Akito- Ajkito? No no, your name is Akito not Ajkito.

Ajkito- Ajkito is name.

Akito- AAAAAAAH!! Bobby what is wrong?

Ajkito- Bobby what is wrong?

Akito- What the-?

Ajkito- What the-?

Bobby- What did you put as its name?

Akito- I typed in Akito.

Ajkito- Ajkito.

Akito- NO! YOUR NAME IS A-KI-TO!

Ajkito- AJ-KI-TO!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- Bobby fix it!

Bobby- I can't fix it now. Come on Akito it's just the robots name. Everything else is perfect.

Ajkito- Perfect.

Akito- Why does it mimic what we say?

Ajkito- Mimic.

Akito- Can you stop?

Ajkito- Can you stop?

Akito- Oh my.

Bobby- Ajkito is just learning new words. Soon enough he will learn that you don't like him to mimic you, and he will stop.

Ajkito- New words. ^_^

Akito- Oh fine.

(Akito hands a check to Bobby)

Akito- Your work here is done. Thanks for your help.

Bobby- Anytime! ^_^

(Bobby takes check and leaves)

Akito- Okay. Where were are we Ajkito?

Ajkito- Ajkito is in the Main House.

Akito- Oh boy. This is going to be fun.

Ajkito- Funfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfunfun! ^_^ Oh boy! Oh boy! ^_^

Akito- Okay, Ajkito go bring me my phone.

Ajkito- Phone. ^_^

Akito- No, bring me the phone.

Ajkito- No. Phonephonephonephonephonephone! ^_^

Akito- (Sigh) Don't you know what a phone is?

(Ajkito walked over to Akito and pointed to him)

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

(Akito's mouth dropped)

Akito- ME?! I AM NOT A PHONE!

(Akito rushed over to his phone and pointed to it)

Akito- This is a PHONE. I am a PERSON.

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

Akito- (Sigh) Okay let s try something else. Point to the window.

(Ajkito pointed to the open window)

Ajkito- Window.

(Akito clapped)

Akito- Very good!

Ajkito- VERY GOOD! YAY! YAY! AJKITO DO GOOD! YAY! ^_^

Akito- Okay, I have to go burn up Shigure's romance novels so I'll be back. Ajkito stay.

Ajkito- Ajkito stays.

(Akito left and Ajkito began wandering around Akito's room)

Ajkito- Bed.

(Ajkito sat on the bed)

Ajkito- Pillow.

(Ajkito threw Akito's pillow on the floor)

Ajkito- Ajkito do good! ^_^

(Just then there was a knock on the door)

Shigure- Akito? Can I come in?

Ajkito- Knock knock Ajkito.

Shigure- I'm opening the door. ^_^

(Shigure walked into the room and Ajkito stood up)

Ajkito- Intruder. Intruder go bye-bye.

Shigure- What are you talking about Akito?

Ajkito- Ajkito says what is your name?

Shigure- You know my name Akito. It's Shigure.

Ajkito- Shi-gu-re. Intruder.

Shigure- Come give me a hug Akito.

(Shigure walked over to Ajkito and attempted to give him a hug, but Ajkito pushed away)

Ajkito- No. No. Stop. Get away from Ajkito. Leave Ajkito alone Shi-gu-re.

Shigure- What are you talking about Akito?

(Suddenly Shigure's phone rang)

Shigure's phone- Ring-ring-ring

Ajkito- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- Hello?

Akito- I'M BURNING THEM!

Shigure- Who is this?

Akito- This is Akito.

Shigure- This can't be Akito. I'm in the same room as Akito right now.

Akito- BLAST! I forgot to lock the door!

Shigure- Huh?

Akito- YOU BETTER LEAVE AJKITO ALONE SHIGURE!

(Ajkito heard Akito's voice and rushed up to Shigure)

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

Shigure- What the-?

Ajkito- What has Shi-gu-re done with Phone?

Shigure- My phone is right here. Akito if you are on the phone with me then who is this?

Akito- That is Ajkito, my robot. Now give the phone to Ajkito before I burn every book that you own.

Shigure- YOU'RE AT MY HOUSE??!

Akito- GIVE AJKITO THE PHONE!

Shigure- FINE!

(Shigure handed the phone to Ajkito)

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

Akito- Hello Ajkito.

Ajkito- Phone, Intruder Shi-gu-re came in room.

Akito- Oh he did, did he?

Ajkito- Yes. Shi-gu-re tried to give Ajkito hug.

Akito- Oh really?

Shigure- Give me my phone back!

Ajkito- DON'T TOUCH PHONE! MY PHONE!

Ajkito- Ajkito love Phone! ^_^

Shigure- GIVE ME THAT!

Ajkito- AJKITO PROTECT PHONE!

Shigure- But it is mine!

Ajkito- NO! PHONE BELONG TO AJKITO!

Shigure- (Sigh) Okay....

Akito- Ajkito, listen to me carefully. Give the phone-

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

Akito- (Sigh) Give Shigure the little box that you are holding back to him. But first tell him that Akito says to say good-bye to all of your romance novels.

Ajkito- Okay Phone.

Akito- Okay. Good-bye Ajkito.

Ajkito- Bye-bye Phone! ^_^

(Akito hangs up. Ajkito walks over to Shigure and hands him his phone back)

Ajkito- Phone says to say bye-bye to all Shi-gu-re's romance novels.

Shigure- What does is that suppose- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

NOT MY BOOKS!!

(Shigure runs from the room)

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! NOT MY BOOKS!

LATER

(When Akito came home, Ajkito was nowhere to be found)

Akito- Ajkito? Ajkito where are you?

(Just before Akito had a heart attack, Ajkito popped out of the bathroom)

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

(Ajkito ran over to Akito and gave him a hug)

Akito- Yes I'm happy to see you too Ajkito.

Ajkito- Ajkito love Phone! ^_^

Akito- I love you too Ajkito, now stop hugging me...

(Ajkito let go of Akito and then walked over to the bed and pulled out Shigure's journal)

Akito- (Gasp) Put that back Ajkito!

(Ajkito walked over to Akito and opened to page 47)

Ajkito- Ajkito does not understand. How come there are pages 47 and 49 but no page 48? What happened to page 48? Ajkito was reading it, but then missing page made Ajkito confused.

Akito- Ajkito I ripped out that page because it was stupid....

Ajkito- Can Phone tell Ajkito what was on missing page?

(Akito's eyes began to twitch)

Akito- No. I'm sorry Ajkito but I forgot what was on that.....um......page.......

Ajkito- Okay. Ajkito thinks Shi-gu-re is very messed up in the head.

(Akito took the journal from Ajkito and put it back under his bed)

Akito- Finally, someone agrees with me.

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- Ajkito, are you hungry?

Ajkito- Hungry? No. Ajkito is Ajkito.

Akito- No no, not like that. Are you HUNGRY? Like do you want some food?

Ajkito- Food? What is food?

Akito- It is stuff you eat.

Ajkito- Eat? What means to eat?

Akito- Oh dear.....Ajkito come with me. We are going to the kitchen.

Ajkito- HURRAY! AJKITO GETS TO GO TO THE KITCHEN! YAY! ^_^

AJKITO LOVES PHONE!

Akito- We really have to work on that phone thing......

LATER

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- AKITO DESTROYED ALL OF MY BOOKS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I HATE HIM!!

BubbleDragon- No you don't.

Luvpuppy- AAAH! Hatori, when did you get on here.

BubbleDragon- I've been on the internet Shigure.

Luvpuppy- HATORI YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS!

BubbleDragon- You're probably right.

Luvpuppy- AKITO MADE A ROBOT! IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HIM! AND IT TALKS, AND what was it's name? It sounded something like Akito.....

BubbleDragon- Are you going insane Shigure?

Luvpuppy- No. It was something like.......um......Rabito? No....Jumseeto? Acpleto?

--Stupid Cat logs on--

Stupid Cat- Ajkito.

Luvpuppy- THAT'S IT!

BubbleDragon- Yuki?

Stupid Cat- Yuki.

Luvpuppy- IT'S THE ROBOT!

Stupid Cat- IT'S THE ROBOT!

BubbleDragon- Shigure, come on...

Stupid Cat- Shi-gu-re, come on...

Luvpuppy- See? Ajkito always mimicked me, so that must be him!

Stupid Cat- Mimic. Ajkito says mimic.

Luvpuppy- Hello Ajkito! ^_^

Stupid Cat- Sometimes I like to stalk Phone. Even when Phone doesn't know it.

BubbleDragon- Who is Phone?

Stupid Cat- PHONE! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Hey, that sounded like something I wrote in my journal.....OH MY GOD! THAT THING IS READING OUT OF MY JOURNAL!!

Stupid Cat- Phone looks so fine when he is taking a shower, and I watch him when he doesn't know it.

Luvpuppy- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

BubbleDragon- Oh my.....

--FishFan logs on--

--CheeseMan logs on--

CheeseMan- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUAHAAAH! HAHAHA!

FishFan- HEY! WHO'S THE DUDE WITH THE MESSED UP USER NAME??!!

CheeseMan- MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! HAHAHAHA! HAHA! MUHA MUHA!

FishFan- SHUT UP YUKI!

Luvpuppy- Oh god no.

BubbleDragon- You are done for now......

Stupid Cat- Phone looks hot when he is sleeping.

FishFan- LISTEN YOU- Huh? Who is Phone?

Stupid Cat- PHONE! ^_^

CheeseMan- If you want to know who Phone is Kyo, then why don't you ask Stupid Cat, you stupid cat.........MUAHAHAHA!

Kyo- DAMMIT! SHUT UP!

CheeseMan- Muha........

Luvpuppy- GRAAAAAAAAAAH!! DON'T ASK HIM ANYTHING!

Stupid Cat- PHONE! ^_^

--Akito logs on--

Stupid Cat- PHONE! PHONE! PHONE! ^_^

Luvpuppy- Shit....

--Luvpuppy logs off--

BubbleDragon- Idiot....

--BubbleDragon logs off--

Akito- Ajkito?

Stupid Cat- PHONE! ^_^

Akito- How did you get on the internet?

Kyo- Who is Ajkito?

Akito- SHUT UP! NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU!

Stupid Cat- SHUT UP NOBODY WAS TALKING TO YOU!

Akito- Ajkito, get off the internet, we have to go to the library.

Stupid Cat- LIBRARY! ^_^ AJKITO GETS TO GO TO THE LIBRARY! HURRAY! ^_^

--Stupid Cat logs off--

--Akito logs off--

FishFan- Okay.......that was weird....

CheeseMan- Stupid Cat, hahaha that never gets old! ^_^

FishFan- Will you shut up?

CheeseMan- Nope. ^_^

FishFan- Go away.

CheeseMan- Don't you even think about-

--CheeseMan has been blocked from this conversation--

FishFan- Muahaha....

--FishFan logs off--

LATER

--Luvpuppy logs on--

--BubbleDragon logs on--

--YankeeThug logs on--

--BlackFlower logs on--

BubbleDragon- Shigure, you're an idiot.

Luvpuppy- Meanie!

YankeeThug- Novel Guy?

BlackFlower- I sense normal waves today.

Luvpuppy- (Gasp) Saki! Arisa!

BubbleDragon- Friends of yours Shigure?

Luvpuppy- Any friend of Tohru is a friend of mine! ^_^

BubbleDragon- God help them all...

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- OOOH, I HATE YUKI!

YankeeThug- Anger management boy! ^_^

FishFan- The Yankee is here?!

BlackFlower- The waves are telling me that Kyo is very angry.

FishFan- Damn right I am!

--CheeseMan logs on--

FishFan- GAH! YOU!

CheeseMan- Where is it?!

BlackFlower- I sense a fight is near...

Luvpuppy- Hey Yuki! ^_^

FishFan- Where is what?

CheeseMan- You know what! Now where is it?!

FishFan- Oh... (Snicker) THAT.

CheeseMan- YOU DID TAKE IT!

BubbleDragon- I'm lost...

Luvpuppy- Ooh boy, I feel a Jerry Springer fight coming on... ^_^

YankeeThug- What are you two fighting over now?

--ILoveHatori logs on

BubbleDragon- Huh?

Luvpuppy-

ILoveHatori- Is Hatori here?

FishFan- BLAHAHA! I LL NEVER GIVE IT BACK TO YOU!

CheeseMan- YOU D BETTER GIVE IT!

BubbleDragon- That would be me.

CheeseMan- I NEED IT!

Luvpuppy-

ILoveHatori- Oh shit

Luvpuppy- MAYU????!!

CheeseMan- I ll kill you if you don t give me back my lucky rabbit s foot!

FishFan- Muahaha! Down the toilet it goes!

BubbleDragon- Mayu?

ILoveHatori- Uh

YankeeThug- Mayu-Sensei?

BlackFlower- This has begun to get interesting

CheeseMan- YOU RE GOING TO DIE KYO!

Luvpuppy- Oh THIS is just fantastic! I have to call Aaya! ^_^

CheeseMan and FishFan and ILoveHatori and BubbleDragon- DON T YOU DARE CALL HIM!

Luvpuppy- Well, jeez

--Onigiri logs on

--Akito logs on

Lupuppy- AKITO! ^_^

--Akito logs off

Luvpuppy- Aww

FishFan- Hey Tohru! ^_^

Onigiri- Hello Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun, Arisa-san, Hana-chan, Shigure-san, Hatori-san and ILoveHatori-san?

ILoveHatori-

YankeeThug- Yo Tohru. It s Mayu-Sensei.

Onigiri- HUH?!

FishFan- Oh god, I didn t know you had a thing for Hatori!

BubbleDragon and ILoveHatori-

Luvpuppy- Blahahaha! ^_^

--SecretGirl985 logs on--

FishFan- OH GOD!

SecretGirl985- My darling Kyo-kun, I suppose that I should reveal myself to you.

YankeeThug- Cool. This should be interesting.

BlackFlower- Mmm-hmm.

CheeseMan- Wait, wait. Let me get some popcorn!

Onigiri- Umm

Luvpuppy- Who is SecretGirl985?

ILoveHatori- I think I should be going

BubbleDragon- Me too

Lupuppy- YOU RE JUST GOING TO SNEEK OFF SOMEWHERE AND MAKE OUT!

ILoveHatori- Help me kill him, Hatori?

BubbleDragon- You bet.

--BubbleDragon logs off

--ILoveHatori logs off

Luvpuppy- Uh oh shit

--Luvpuppy logs off

SecretGirl985- First things first my Darling-

Onigiri- Darling?

FishFan- Don t call me Darling!

SecretGirl985- As I was saying, Darling, I am actually not a man.

FishFan- But wha- who? How? HUH???!!!

Onigiri- Oh my!

YankeeThug- OH SHIT THIS IS GETTING WEIRD!

BlackFlower- Hmm Very confusing

SecretGirl985- I am actually someone very close to you.

FishFan- Wha-?

--SnakeSkin logs on

SnakeSkin- Oh my, hehehehe! ^_^

YankeeThug- What the-?

--LittleMissMaid logs on

LittleMissMaid- Found you Ayame-san! ^_^

SnakeSkin- OH GOODNESS YOU DID! ^_^

LittleMissMaid- Ahahahaha! ^_^

SnakeSkin- Ahahahaha! ^_^

--LittleMissMaid logs off

--SnakeSkin logs off

BlackFlower- How strange

YankeeThug- What the fuck was that all about?

Onigiri- Silly Ayame! ^_^

FishFan- More like crazy Ayame

SecretGirl985- Well, ANYWAYS, I thought I should let you know that it s me Kagura.

FishFan- WHAT?! OH MY GOD WOMAN YOU HAVE OFFICIALLY LOST IT I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT AND ALL FOR WHAT??!!

YankeeThug- What? What? Who is she?!

BlackFlower- Obviously someone that Kyo is familiar with.

Onigiri- Oh my goodness

FishFan- I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? AND- Wait! How do I know that this is really Kagura?!

SecretGirl985- Because I you love me! ^_^

FishFan- Oh god, it IS her!

CheeseMan- Alrighty the popcorn is ready. What did I miss? ^_^

Onigiri- SecretGirl is really a girl and it turns out that it s Kagura-san! ^_^

CheeseMan- What a letdown!

SecretGirl985- KYO-KUN I LOVE YOU AND I M COMING TO GET YOU!

--SecretGirl985 logs off

FishFan- Great

--Yuki sNumberOneAlwaysAndForeverHisPrincessBecauseHeIsTheGreatestThingOnThisEarth logs on

CheeseMan- My god

FishFan- GAH!

YankeeThug- HOLY CRAP!

Onigiri- Wow

BlackFlower- Motoko.

Yuki sNumberOneAlwaysAndForeverHisPrincessBecauseHeIsTheGreatestThingOnThisEarth- Hello is Yuki on this website?

CheeseMan- No abla espanol.

FishFan- CheeseMan is Yuki Sohma!

CheeseMan- GAH!

Yuki sNumberOneAlwaysAndForeverHisPrincessBecauseHeIsTheGreatestThingOnThisEarth- OMG YUKI I LOVE YOU I THINK THAT YOU ARE THE GREATEST THING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! I HAVE TO CALL THEM!

CheeseMan- Wha- Who is THEM??!

FishFan- Hahahaha! You re screwed! ^_^ Come on Tohru I have something to show you!

--FishFan logs off

Onigiri- Oh, um, okay

--Onigiri logs off

BlackFlower- Arisa, I sense that danger is near.

YankeeThug- Yeah. Let s go.

--BlackFlower logs off

--YankeeThug logs off--

CheeseMan- GUYS?! GUYS?!

--Yuki sFan#1 logs on

--Yuki sFan#2 logs on

--Yuki sFan#3 logs on

--Yuki sFan#4 logs on

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Yuki sNumberOneAlwaysAndForeverHisPrincessBecauseHeIsTheGreatestThingOnThisEarth- EVERYONE IT S YUKI!!

Everyone- OH MY GOD!

CheeseMan- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!

--CheeseMan logs off

**A/N: OMG I AM TOTALLY ON A SUGAR RUSH!! I LOVE THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE I CANNOT CONSETRATE AND OMG OMG OMG SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR!! Read and review because I love you guys so so so so so so so so MUCH!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ Oh yeah and go to hayden14 profile and read her story it is awesome!!!**


	35. Chapter 35: Trip To The Zoo Part 1

**A/N: Well guys sorry for the hold up. Here is chapter 35. Excuse my spelling. Love you lots! ^_^ (I do not own Fruits Basket, but I did make up designs for Ayame!) Lol...just kidding...**

**Or am I?**

**---**

Chapter 35: Trip To The Zoo Part 1

(Akito walked down the hall Ajkito at his side, and met up with Hatori in the hallway)

Akito- Hello Hatori.

Ajkito- Hello Hatori.

Hatori- Akito what is that?!

(Hatori pointed to Ajkito)

(Ajkito pointed to Hatori)

Ajkito- What is that?!

Akito- This is my robot.

Ajkito- This is my robot.

Hatori- So Shigure wasn't lying?

Akito- I guess not. Anyways, tell Kureno to meet me in the front of the estate.

Ajkito- The front of the estate.

Hatori- Okay.

(Ajkito and Akito walked to the front of the estate and Kureno was waiting outside)

Akito- Kureno meet Ajkito. It's my other me.

(Kureno jumped back)

Kureno- WHAT THE HELL?!

(Ajkito jumped back too)

Ajkito- WHAT THE HELL?!

Kureno- What is it??

Akito- It is me.

Ajkito- Ajkito is Ajkito.

Kureno- Okay.....

Akito- Ajkito, greet Kureno.

(Ajkito stuck out his hand)

Ajkito- Ajkito says hello. Ajkito wants to know what strange man's name is.

Kureno- I'm Kureno.

(Kureno shook Ajkito's hand)

Ajkito- Ajkito loves Phone! ^_^

Kureno- Phone?

Akito- (Sigh)

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

Akito- Ajkito thinks that I'm a phone....

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

(Kureno's phone began to ring)

Kureno's phone- Ring-ring-ring

Ajkito- Ring-ring-ring

Kureno- Hello?

Ajkito- Hello?

(Arisa was on the other line)

Akito- Who is it Kureno?

Ajkito- Who is it Kur-en-o?

Kureno- Umm hold on.....

Ajkito- Are you talking to your girlfriend Kur-en-o?

Akito- ACK!

Ajkito- ACK!

Kureno- I will be right back......

(Kureno dashed away)

Akito- WAIT! KUR-EN-O!! WHO WAS THAT ON THE OTHER LINE??!

Ajkito- WAIT! KUR-EN-O!! WHO WAS THAT ON THE OTHER LINE??!

Akito- Shut up Ajkito.....

Ajkito- Shut up Ajkito.....

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- Kill me now....

Ajkito- Did Ajkito make Phone angry?

Akito- No of course not!

Ajkito- No of course not!

Akito- AGH!

Ajkito- AGH!

Akito- Ajkito why don't we just go to the library?

Ajkito- Ajkito wants to go to the library! Ajkito wants to go! ^_^

Akito- Okay, lets go Ajkito.

Ajkito- Ajkito loves Phone! ^_^

Akito- UGH!

LATER

(Shigure paced around his house)

Shigure- Umm......umm.....

(Kyo poked his head out of his room)

Kyo- Shigure, what are you doing? Is that your daily exercise or something?

Shigure- Ideas......ideas.....

Kyo- Hello? Is Shigure home?

(Shigure suddenly stopped and ran towards Kyo)

Shigure- THAT'S IT KYO! YOU ARE GENIUS!

(Shigure rushed into his room)

Kyo- Huh?

(Yuki walked up)

Yuki- Obivously, he is drunk. I mean why would ANYONE say that YOU'RE a genius?

(Kyo smirked)

Kyo- You are SO jealous! ^_^

Yuki- HA! As if.

Kyo- You are.

Yuki- No I am not!

Kyo- Are so!

Yuki- Am not!

Kyo- Are so!

Yuki- Am not!

Kyo- Are not!

Yuki- Am so!

Kyo- Wait.....

Yuki- GAAAAAAAAAAAH! GET AWAY FROM ME! YOU'RE CURUPTING MY BRAIN!

(Tohru poked her head out from the kitchen)

Tohru- Dinner is ready! ^_^

Kyo and Yuki- DINNER! ^_^

(Before Yuki or Kyo could even take a step towards the kitchen, Shigure came stampeding out of his room)

Shigure- FOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!! RAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- AAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

(Kyo and Yuki dove to the side and missed Shigure by inches)

Shigure- ME HUNGRY! ME HUNGRY! FOOD! FOOD!

Tohru- Here you go Shigure-san! ^_^

Shigure- YAY! ^_^

Kyo- ALL THAT FOR A PLATE OF FOOD??!

Shigure- Yep! ^_^

(Yuki and Kyo picked themselves up and walked over to the table, where Tohru had already served them their food)

Kyo- Thank you Tohru.

Yuki- Yes Honda-san, thank you.

Tohru- Oh, your welcome everyone....

(When Kyo was about to take a bite of his food, it slipped out of the chopsticks and landed on the floor)

Yuki- Bwahaha!

(Kyo glared at Yuki)

Kyo- Oh yeah?!

(Kyo picked up Yuki's glass of water and dumped it in his lap)

Yuki- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! COLD! COLD!

Kyo- HA HA HA!

Yuki- Why you-!

(Just then Shigure dumped iced tea on both Yuki and Kyo)

Kyo- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- COLD!

Shigure- Will you two stop fighting? Tohru made us a wonderful dinner! Now eat and shut up!

(Yuki and Kyo picked up their chopsticks and began to eat in silence)

Shigure- That's better! ^_^

(Suddenly Yuki dropped his food in his lap)

Yuki- GAH!

Kyo- Bwaaahahaha!

Yuki- WHY YOU!

Shigure- (Sigh) Not again....

MEANWHILE AT THE MAIN HOUSE

(Ajkito had just finished reading every book in the library when Akito walked in)

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

Akito- Hello Ajkito...

Ajkito- Phone! Ajkito loves phone! ^_^

Akito- So Ajkito, did you learn anything from the books?

Ajkito- Phone, Ajkito would like to see a giraffe.

Akito- Well we can........what?! A GIRAFFE??! Why a giraffe?!

Ajkito- Ajkito thinks the giraffe look funny, so Ajkito would like to see one up close! ^_^

Akito- A giraffe? Are you serious?

Ajkito- Ajkito is serious! ^_^

Akito- Well I guess we need to be going to the zoo...

Ajkito- Zoo? What is zoo?

Akito- Ajkito, a zoo is where the giraffe's live.

Ajkito- THEN AJKITO WANTS TO GO TO THE ZOO!! ^_^

Akito- Okay then, I will get Hatori to drive us.

Ajkito- HURRAY! HURRAY! ^_^

Akito- (Sigh)

BACK AT SHIGURE'S HOUSE

(Shigure had just gotten Yuki and Kyo to calm down and they had resumed eating)

Yuki- Pass..........the.........salt........

Kyo- What's the magic word? ^_^

(Yuki jumped up)

Yuki- THE MAGIC WORD IS THAT IF YOU DON'T HAND ME THE SALT I'M GOING TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR-!

Shigure- YUKI!! SIT DOWN!

(Yuki stopped and sat down)

Yuki- Pass...the...salt...................please...

(Kyo handed Yuki the salt)

Kyo- There you go! ^_^

(Yuki salted his food and took a bite)

Yuki- (GAG) (WHEEZE)!!!

Yuki's thoughts---THIS TASTES AWFUL! Honda-san's food never tastes this bad! What the-!---

(Kyo looked up at Yuki smiling)

Kyo- Do you like your food rat boy? ^_^

Yuki- WHY I OUTTA-!

Tohru- Yes Yuki-kun, is it good?

(Yuki looked at Tohru)

Yuki- It's...wonderful Honda-san...

Tohru- Hurray! ^_^

Kyo- (Whispering) Hurray........bwahaha.....

(By now Yuki figured out that Kyo did something to his food, but he couldn't figure out what, so he tasted his food again)

Yuki- (GAG) (GAG) (CHOKE)!!

Tohru- Is something wrong Yuki?

Yuki- It's (COUGH) nothing...I just (COUGH) swallowed wrong...

Kyo- Muha...

Shigure- Pass the salt! ^_^

Kyo- Wait a minute-!

(Yuki snatched the salt up and handed it to Shigure)

Kyo- GAH!

Yuki- Here you go Shigure...

Shigure- THANK YOU! ^_^

Yuki's thoughts---Lets see what happens.....---

(Shigure salted his food and took a bite. Two seconds later, he spit his food out on the floor)

Shigure- (GAG) (GAG) (COUGH) WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE SALT??!!

Tohru- Is something wrong?

(Yuki started jumping up and down)

Yuki- I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! KYO PUT SOMETHING IN THE SALT!

Kyo- DAMMIT SHIGURE! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!

(Shigure tasted some of the "salt" by itself)

Shigure- This isn't salt, this is sugar....

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU REPLACED THE SALT WITH SUGAR SO I WOULD LOOK LIKE A FOOL IN FRONT OF HONDA-SAN!

Kyo- BWAHAHA! AND THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUHA MUHA!

Tohru- Oh my.....

(Yuki had his fists clenched)

Shigure- Yuki just calm down.....

Kyo- HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! (WHEEZE) MUHA MUHA! MUAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (CHOKE) HAHAHAHA! (COUGH) HA HA HA!

(Yuki jumped across the table and tackled Kyo)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Meanwhile, Akito had took Ajkito to the zoo)

Ajkito- PHONE! WHAT IS THAT?!

Akito- That's a tiger.

Ajkito- WHAT IS THAT?!

Akito- That's a lion.

Ajkito- WHAT IS THAT?!

Akito- That's the bathrooms.....

Ajkito- WHAT IS THAT?!

Akito- That's the monkeys.

Ajkito- PRETTY MONKEYS! PRETTY! PRETTY!

Akito- (Sigh) I say that they smell....

Ajkito- SMELL PRETTY! ^_^

Akito- (Sigh)

Ajkito- When does Ajkito get to see the giraffe??!

Akito- We are readed there next Ajkito.

Ajkito- Yay! ^_^

(Just then Hatori walked up with cotton candy)

Akito- YES!

Ajkito- YES!

Hatori- Here is your candy Akito....

(Akito snatched the candy away from Hatori)

Akito- ALL MINE! MINE! MUAHAHAHAHA MUAHAHA! HAHAHA! MUHA MUHA!

(Akito began to scarf down the cotton candy)

Hatori- Akito....

Akito- SHUT UP I'M EATING!

Hatori- But-

Akito- Shut it!

(Akito continued to eat and Hatori just stood there. After a few minutes he spoke again)

Hatori- Akito I think you should know-

Akito- I'm still eating Hatori.

Hatori- But-

Akito- SHUT UP HATORI! I'M EATING COTTON CANDY!

Hatori- AJKITO WALKED OFF!

Akito- Huh?

(Akito turned around and Ajkito was gone)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING HATORI??! GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito took off running to look for Ajkito, and Hatori just stood there for a moment, then he took in a deep breath)

Hatori- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT WIITH HIM! I'm going to ride the rides!

(Hatori walked off to the rides)

(Back at Shigure's house, Shigure had just got Yuki to stop attacking Kyo and everyone began to eat again. Yuki had a black eye, and Kyo's nose was bleeding)

Tohru- Poor Kyo.....

Yuki- POOR KYO??!!

Kyo- Bwahahaha.....

Tohru- Oh! And poor Yuki-kun!

(Yuki was silent)

Kyo- (Snicker)

Yuki- SHUT IT!

(Kyo jumped up)

Kyo- MAKE ME!

Yuki- I WILL!

(Yuki and Kyo tackled each other)

Tohru- (Gasp) Isn't anyone going to stop them?!

Shigure- I'm sorry Tohru, I've givin up. As long as they don't brake anything, then I'm okay.

Yuki- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Tohru- But-

Shigure- The dinner is wonderful Tohru and (SNEEZE) oh goodness, I must have some (SNEEZE) allergies.....

Tohru- Oh dear....

(At the zoo Akito was cursing Shigure for all his problems)

Akito- THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING DOG! I HOPE HE FALLS IN A PILE OF SHIT!

(Just then Kureno walked up)

Kureno- Oh, hi Akito!

Akito- DAMN DOG!

Kureno- Who?

Akito- SHIGURE! I HATE HIM!

Kureno- Well why?

Akito- I've decided to take all of my anger out on him....

(Kureno shrugged)

Kureno- Sounds fine to me....

Akito- Have you seen Hatori? I ran (SNEEZE) off when I lost (SNEEZE) Ajkito. And man, my nose itches....

Kureno- I wonder why....

(At the Main House)

Ren- CURSE THAT AKITO! HOW DARE HE PUT THUMBTACKS ON MY FLOOR! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! CURSE HIM! I HOPE HE GETS HIT BY A CAR!!

(Back at the zoo)

Akito- I have no idea.....

Kureno- Oh well....so you said that you LOST Ajkito?

Akito- Yep and I've been looking everywhere for him....

Kureno- Where do you think he would go?

(Akito snapped his fingers)

Akito- THE GIRAFFE EXIBIT!!

(Kureno and Akito took off in the direction of the giraffe exhibit)

(About five minutes later, Akito and Kureno were at the giraffe exhibit and sure enough Ajkito was in the giraffe exhibit wearing an employee's outfit and petting the giraffe)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- Is that him??!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HOW DID HE GET IN THERE?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WHAT DO WE DO?! WHAT DO WE DO?! GAAAAAAAAH! HE IS GOING INTO THE LION EXHIBIT! DO SOMETHING KURENO! AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito-AGH! THE LIONS ARE SNIFFING AJKITO! NOOOOOOOOOO!

(Akito's cell phone began to ring and it blinked Shigure)

Akito- GAH! IT'S HIM!

Kureno- Who?

Akito- THAT DOG! You answer it! I HAVE TO GET AJKITO!!

(Akito threw the phone at Kureno and walked off)

Kureno- Wait Akito! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Kureno started going after Akito and at the same time answered the phone)

Kureno- Hello?

Shigure- Hey my sweet chocolate covered strawberry. I have finally figured out how to get you to give back my journal. How about I come over tonight and-

Kureno- Shigure, this is Kureno.

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- (HUFF) (HUFF) (WHEEZE) What do you (COUGH) want??!

Shigure- First of all, why do you have Akito's cell phone? And second, you sound tired, what are you doing?

Kureno- You wouldn't believe me if I (CHOKE) (WHEEZE) told you.

Shigure- Try me.

Kureno- Okay. I'm chasing Akito through the zoo.

Shigure- .........................

Kureno- Hello?

Shigure- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (COUGH) BWAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! (WHEEZE) MUHA MUHA! (CHOKE)

Kureno- I told you!

Shigure- No _seriously_, what are you doing?

Kureno- I already told you and- GAAAAAAAAH! AKITO NOOOOO!

Akito- I'M COMING AJKITO! RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Shigure- What happened?

Kureno- AKITO JUST JUMPED IN THE LION'S PEN TO GET AJKITO!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- AKITO DON'T GO NEAR THEM! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AKITO BEHIND YOU!

Akito- AAAAAHAAAHAAAAHAAAA!

Kureno- RUN AKITO RUN!

Akito- Oh! It's just a baby cub! Aww, how cute! ^_^

Kureno- My bad....AKITO _GET OUT_!

Shigure- DON'T LET AKITO DIE! GET HIM OUT OF THERE YOU BUFFOON!

Kureno- HE WON'T LISTEN TO ME!

Shigure- Throw the phone down to him.

Kureno- But...it'll break...

Shigure- JUST DO IT!

Kureno- Okay! Akito, heads up!

Akito- Huh?

(Kureno threw the phone down to Akito (who wasn't paying attention) and it hit him on the head)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY WOULD YOU-?! THAT REALLY-!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY HEAD!

Kureno- Oops, sorry Akito. Shigure wants to talk to you!

Akito- Oh great.

(Akito picked up his phone)

Akito- Yes?

Shigure- Akito?

Akito- (Sigh) Yes Shigure.

Shigure- GET OUT OF THE FREAKING LION'S PEN, FOOL!

(Akito lurched back)

Akito- DON'T YELL AT ME! I HAVE TO GET AJKITO!

Shigure- FORGET AJKITO!

Akito- NO! NEVER!

Shigure- A-KI-TO! THE LIONS ARE GOING TO_ EAT_ YOU!

Akito- I'm sorry I can't hear you. I don't speak idiot!

Shigure- OF COURSE YOU SPEAK IDIOT! YOU ARE AN IDIOT! GET OUT OF THE LION'S PEN!

Akito- GO AWAY!

Shigure- I'M NOT EVEN THERE!

Akito- THEN SHUT UP!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THIS IS WHY WE HAVE PROBLEMS IN OUR RELATIONSHIP!

Akito- _RELATIONSHIP?!_ HA! I LAUGH AT YOU!

Shigure- FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE STOP BEING STUPID AND GET OUT OF THAT PEN!

Akito- Ajkito! Come here!

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^ AJKITO LOVES PHONE! ^_^

Shigure- Kill me. Kill me.

Akito- AJKITO, COME!

Ajkito- Ajkito wants to pet the lion! ^_^

Akito- NO AJKITO DON'T!

(Ajkito pokes the lion and it slowly begins to wake up)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! AJKITO! GET...............OVER.............HERE........_NOW!!!_

Ajkito- HELLO LION! ^_^

Akito- ACK! AJKITO STOP!

Shigure- Akito......

(The lion's eyes opened and he jumped to his feet)

Akito- Shit!

Lion- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GRAAAAH! GRAAAAAAH!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Shigure- AKITO RUN! GET OUT OF THERE!! HURRY! HURRY!

Ajkito- Uh oh.......

Akito- RUN AJKITO!

Ajkito- RUN AJKITO!

(Akito and Ajkito began to run to the exit with the Lion right on their tails)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Lion- RAAAAAAAH!!

Shigure- OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Akito- AAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA!

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!!

(Meanwhile Kureno was watching the whole thing from up above)

Kureno- RUN AKITO! RUN! RUN! RUN! OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY HELP! HELP! OH NO! OH NO! HE'S NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! DOWN KITTY! DOWN! GET AWAY! SHOO! AAAAAAAAAAH!! SOMEBODY HELP!

Shigure- HURRY AKITO! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! RUN!

Akito- (WHEEZE) I'M RUNNING! (COUGH) (COUGH)

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kureno- GO! GO! GO!

(Akito and Ajkito finally made it out of the exhibit)

Akito- (GASP) (GASP) (GASP) (COUGH)

Kureno- Uh Akito.....

Akito- (WHEEZE) Shut up Kureno! (COUGH) (CHOKE) (WHEEZE)

Kureno- Akito, I think you should know that-

Akito- SHUT IT! (GASP) (WHEEZE)

Kureno- AJKITO WALKED OFF AGAIN!

Akito- (GASP) WHAT??! AJ-KI-TO!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kureno- I told you!

Akito- SHUT UP! WE HAVE TO GET AJKITO!

Kureno- Is Shigure still on the phone?

Akito- Huh?

(Akito looks at his phone and sees that he accidentally turned it off)

Akito- Oh dear....

Kureno- He is going to be worried sick you know...

Akito- SHUT UP! I don't care about Shigure!

Kureno- Right.....

Akito- I DON'T! Now shut up and lets go find Ajkito!

Kureno- Okay.....

(Akito and Kureno went off in search of Ajkito)

(Back at Shigure's house, Shigure was running around the house panicing)

Shigure- What do I do? What do I do? I don't know!_ I don't know!_ AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Tohru- What is wrong Shigure-san?

Shigure- Akito is in trouble and I don't know what to do!

Tohru- Go after him Shigure-san! You must help Akito-san!

Shigure- You're right Tohru! I will go save Akito!

Tohru- Come home safe Shigure-san! ^_^

Shigure- Okay! ^_^ Oh and are Yuki and Kyo okay?

Tohru- They will be okay, but they are going to have huge headaches when they wake up because they knocked each other out...

Shigure- Oh dear...well I best be going if I want to save Akito. Good-bye Tohru! ^_^

Tohru- Okay. Good-bye Shigure-san! Good luck! ^_^

(Shigure left and headed for the zoo)

(Back at the zoo Akito and Kureno had just came to the Rhino Exhibit)

Kureno- THERE HE IS!

Akito- GAAAAAAAAAH!! AJKITO!

(Ajkito began walking up to one of the sleeping Rhino's)

Ajkito- Hello Rhino! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kureno- WHAT DO WE DO?!

Akito- I SHALL SAVE YOU AJKITO! RAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kureno- AKITO! NOOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

LATER

--BunnyHop logs on--

BunnyHop- Hello?

BubbleDragon- Hey Momiji.

BunnyHop- HATORI! ^_^ I went to your office, but you weren't there... Where are you?

BubbleDragon- I'm at the zoo.

BunnyHop- (Gasp) NO FAIR! I WANNA GO! I WANNA!

BubbleDragon- It's not like that Momiji, I'm not having any fun. Akito was driving me crazy, and now I have no idea where he is.

BunnyHop- Hmm... That's a problem, but it shouldn't keep you from having fun.

BubbleDragon- For once Momiji, you have a point.

BunnyHop- For once?

BubbleDragon- I'll talk to you later. Some people are yelling about something. It seems as if some idiot jumped into a animal pen. I better go check it out.

BunnyHop- Now who would be stupid enough to jump in with dangerous animals?

BubbleDragon- Don't know.

BunnyHop- Alright Hatori, bye bye! Be sure to tell me who that dummy was that jumped into a pen! ^_^

--BunnyHop logs off--

BubbleDragon- Wait a second...oh crap...

--BubbleDragon logs off-

**A/N: YES! CHAPTER 35 IS DONE! WOO HOO! By the way, I do own Mr. Lion in this chapter so NO STEALING! ^_^ Please read and review and hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker. (Damn school work...)**


	36. Chapter 36: Trip To The Zoo Part 2

**A/N: WHO IS READY FOR PART 2?? I AM! ^_^ (I do not own Furuba. But I do own the animals at the zoo. And Ajkito. ^_^)**

**Enjoy. (Xcoose me spellen. LOL ^_^)**

**---**

Chapter 36: Trip To The Zoo Part 2

(Shigure had just made it to the zoo and was about to buy a ticket)

Shigure- One ticket please.

Ticket Person- That will be $36.79 sir.

Shigure- $36.79??! I thought tickets were only twenty dollars!

Ticket Person- That is only if you come before 7:00.

Shigure- DAMMIT!

(Shigure handed the ticket person the money then rushed inside)

Shigure- Now, Kureno said that Akito was in the lion exhibit.......which way is that??!! OH NO!

(Shigure began running around the zoo in search for the lion exhibit. When he found it he jumped in without thinking)

Shigure- I'M COMING AKITO! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(When Shigure reached the bottom his cell phone began to ring)

Shigure- Hello?

Kureno- SHI-GU-RE!! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!

Shigure- WHAT IS IT NOW??!

Kureno- AKITO JUMPED INTO THE RHINO PEN!!

Shigure- WHAT??!! I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT AKITO WAS IN THE LION'S PEN!!

Kureno- Well he was. But then Ajkito ran into the Rhino's pen so now Akito is in there. Where are you Shigure?

Shigure- I'M IN THE LION'S EXHIBIT!

Kureno- Well that's stupid, why would you do that?

Shigure- I THOUGHT AKITO WAS STILL IN HERE!! NOW HOW AM I GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE?!

Kureno- First of all, where are the lions?

Shigure- Well last time I checked they were asleep in their cave and- AAAAAAAAAAH!! THEY AREN'T IN THE CAVE ANYMORE!! WHERE DID THEY GO?! WHERE DID THEY GO?!

Kureno- You're screwed.....

Lion- (Sniff) (Sniff)

Shigure- Shit.......

(Shigure turned around to see a huge lion)

Lion- (Sniff)

Shigure- Good lion, nice lion......

Lion- GRAAAAH!! GRAAAAAH!!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Lion- GRAAAH! GRAAAH!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAH!! HELP ME! HELP ME!

(Just then Kyo and Yuki jumped down into the pen)

Kyo- Shigure! What the _hell_ are you doing?!

Yuki- Why are you in an exhibit? What exhibit is this anyway?

Shigure- L-l-look b-behind you!

(Yuki and Kyo turned around to see a huge lion glaring at them)

Kyo- Holy Shit!

Yuki- Crap. I've come to the conclusion that we are in the lion's exhibit....

Kyo- You think?

Yuki- QUIT TRYING TO BE SMART!

Lion- Grah?

Shigure- Umm hey you guys....

(Suddenly Shigure remembered that his phone was still on)

Shigure- Kureno are you still there?

Kureno- Yes. Are you out of the exhibit yet?

Shigure- No. Yuki and Kyo are fighting...again...

Kureno- Well where is the lion?

Shigure- Standing right in front of us. He looks clueless...I wonder if we will ever get out of here...?

Kureno- Maybe you should start running when you have the chance...

Shigure- I would if Kyo and Yuki stop fighting...

Yuki- YOU MUST THINK YOU ARE ALL THAT!

Shigure- Umm guys....?

Kyo- AND IF I DO??! TOHRU LOVES ME NOT YOU!

Yuki- RAAAAAH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Shigure- GUYS!

Yuki and Kyo- WHAT?!

Shigure- We are still in the lion's pen.

Kyo- Oh crap.....

Yuki- Shit.....

Shigure- Shall we run for it?

Yuki- Yes lets.

Kyo- Lets go.

(Shigure, Yuki, and Kyo made a break for the exit and they lion began chasing them again)

Lion- GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! GRAAAAH! GRAAAAAH!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAAAAA!

Lion- GRAAAAAH! GRAAAAAH!

(Shigure, Yuki and Kyo made it out of the lion's pen, even though they were inches away from being bit)

Yuki- (HUFF) (HUFF)

Kyo- That........................was.........(GASP)...........close..........

Yuki- Really?! (WHEEZE) (WHEEZE)

Shigure- Guys..........we have to (HUFF) (HUFF) go to the (GASP) Rhino exhibit.

Kyo- WHY?! I want to go home!

Yuki- Me too!

Shigure- Oh you two sound like four year olds, now come on we have to go save Akito.

Kyo- Akito?

Yuki- Shigure what did you do?

Shigure- I will tell you the whole story later..........maybe............

(Meanwhile, Akito was trying to coax Ajkito out of the Rhino's exhibit without disturbing the two Rhinos standing right in front of him)

Akito- AJKITO! GET OVER HERE BEFORE WE BOTH DIE!!

Ajkito- Ajkito wants to touch big fat Rhino! ^_^

Akito- NO AJKITO! NO TOUCHING THE RHINO! NO!

Ajkito- Ajkito wants to touch the Rhino and say hello! ^_^

Akito- NO! AJKITO YOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW!

(Watching from up above, Kureno begins to talk to Akito)

Kureno- HEY AKITO! DO YOU LOVE SHIGURE?

Akito- OF COURSE NOT! WHY WOULD YOU ASK SUCH A STUPID QUESTION WHEN I'M IN A LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION??!

Ajkito- LIFE OR DEATH SITUATION!

Kureno- Cause he is in the Lion's exhibit, and before his phone disconnected it sounded like he was going to die.

Akito- WHAT??!

(The Rhino's ears perked up)

Akito- ACK! KURENO STOP DISTRACTING ME!

Kureno- Sorry. Umm Akito?

Akito- What is it now?!

Kureno- Considering the situation YOU'RE in, would you like me to start writing your will?

Akito- WHY WOULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!

Kureno- I was just wondering...

Akito- WELL SHUT UP! YOU ARE NOT HELPING!

Ajkito- _NOT_ HELPING!

Akito- Now Ajkito, be a good little robot AND GET OVER HERE!!

Ajkito- Okay! ^_^

Akito- (SIGH) YES!

(Akito began leading Ajkito out of the exhibit when Shigure, Yuki and Kyo rushed to the side of the exhibit. Shigure waved and yelled)

Shigure- A-KI-TO! HI! HELLO! AAAAAAAKIIIIIIITOOOOOOO! ^_^ HOW ARE YOU DOING?! ^_^

Akito- ACK!

Ajkito- ACK!

(The Rhinos snapped around and started stomping towards Akito and Ajkito)

Akito- Crap...

Ajkito- Crap...

Rhino- RAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito and Ajkito jumped out of the exhibit with the Rhino right behind them)

Akito- I MADE IT! YES!

Ajkito- YES!

(Akito grabbed Ajkito's arm)

Akito- You are in SO much trouble when we get home!

Ajkito- Sorry Phone...

Shigure- AKITO! YOU'RE OKAY! ^_^

Akito- Oh god no...

(Shigure hugged Akito)

Shigure- I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE!

Akito- Get off of me!

Ajkito- Get off of me!

(Kyo and Yuki stood there gawking at Ajkito. Kyo pointed a finger)

Kyo- WHAT IS _THAT_?!

Yuki- ANOTHER _AKITO_?! MY LIFE IS OVER!

Kyo- AS IF ONE WASN'T ENOUGH!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Kyo walked up to Ajkito and poked him)

Kyo- He isn't moving...he looks like a robot...

Ajkito- RAAAAAAH!

(Kyo lurched back and screeched)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- IT _TALKS_!!

Ajkito- Hi! ^_^

Yuki- AGH!

Kyo- IT'S FREAKY!

Ajkito- IT'S FREAKY!

Kyo- Huh?

Ajkito- Huh?

Yuki- Hahaha!

Ajkito- Hahaha!

Yuki- What the-?

Ajkito- What the-?

Kyo- Why does it mimic?

Ajkito- MIMIC! ^_^

Akito- AAAAH! KURENO GET SHIGURE OFF OF ME!

Kureno- Shigure...

Shigure- I'm so happy that you are okay Akito! ^_^

Akito- Yeah yeah, now get off of me!

(Shigure stopped hugging Akito and Akito pulled Ajkito away from Kyo and Yuki)

Akito- Come on Kureno, we are going home. After being chased by lions and rhinos I would really like to go home and rest.

Kureno- Okay, lets go.

Shigure- Bye-bye Akito-san! ^_^

Akito- Muh....

(Akito, Kureno, and Ajkito walked away)

Shigure- Well, shall we go home?

Kyo- Why does Akito have a _ROBOT_??!

Shigure- Well-

Yuki- And why does it look just like him??!

Shigure- You see-

Kyo- WHO MADE IT FOR HIM?!

Shigure- I really-

Yuki- WHO SHIGURE??! _WHO_??!

Shigure- I _DON'T_ KNOW! THE NEXT PERSON WHO SAYS _ANYTHING_ WILL HAVE TO _WALK_ HOME FROM THE ZOO!

(Kyo and Yuki stopped talking and began to follow Shigure to the exit. When they were almost to the exit Kyo stopped and screamed)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki and Shigure- What is it?!

Kyo- GAAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAA! IT'S _HER_!

(Kyo pointed a finger, and Shigure and Yuki turned around to see what it was. In the distance, the could see Kagura running towards them)

Kyo- WHAT DO I DO?! WHAT DO I DO?! OH NO!

Kagura- KYO! KYO! HELLO DARLING! I SEE YOU! ^_^

(Kyo took off running in the oposite direction)

Kyo- AAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!!

(Kagura began chasing him)

Kagura- WHERE ARE YOU GOING LOVE??! COME BACK!!!

Yuki- (Sigh) He's hopeless! Why doesn't he just give up?

Shigure- Lets go home, I'm sure he will find his way back to the house.

(Shigure and Yuki began heading home, but not before they heard one last yell from Kyo)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DON'T LEAVE ME! AAAAHAAAHAAA!

Shigure- (Sigh) What a waste of $36.79...

**A/N: Sorry this Chapter is a bit shorter than some of the other ones, but hopefully 37 will be up sooner. Read and Review please. ^_^**


	37. Chapter 37: Shigure's Punishment

**A/N: Wow, sorry that this took so long. As I was saying I had been sick lately but since I ve been feeling better I decided to put up the newest update.**

**Enjoy!**

**---**

**Chapter 37: Shigure s Punishment**

(The next morning, Akito woke up with a huge headache)

Akito- Oh dear, my head hurts!

Ajkito- Hi! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAH!! AJKITO! DON'T...........DO..........THAT!

Ajkito- Sorry Phone. Ajkito has a question.

(Akito rubbed his eyes and stepped out of bed)

Akito- What is it?

(Akito picked up a cup of water that was by his bed and drank a huge gulp)

Ajkito- Ajkito wants to know how babies are born.

Akito- (Choking) BLAAAAHAHAHA! (COUGH) (CHOKE) (SPUTTER) (COUGH) (COUGH)! Why (COUGH) would you want to know somethig like that Ajkito?

Ajkito- Ajkito wants to be a mommy! Like Phone is to Ajkito! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAH!! NO! NO! I AM A MAN!

Ajkito- Man means mommy. Phone is mommy to Ajkito! Ajkito love Mommy Phone! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAA- OH!

(Akito faints)

Ajkito- Phone? PHONE! OH NO!

(Ajkito ran up to the phone and pushed the redail button, which happened to on Shigure's number)

Shigure's Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- Who is that now?

Shigure's Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- Oh, I don't want to get up. Kyo?

Kyo- What do you want?!

Shigure- Will you get the phone?

Kyo- HELL NO! YOU LEFT ME TO DIE AT THE ZOO! PICK UP YOUR OWN DAMN PHONE!

Shigure's Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- OH BOO HOO!

Yuki- I got it you lazy bums....

Shigure- YAY! ^_^

Yuki- Hello?

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! SAVE PHONE!

(Yuki lurched back)

Yuki- What the- Who is Phone?

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^

Shigure- Who is it Yuki?

Yuki- Somebody talking about a Phone.....

Shigure- Ooh ooh, give me give me! I know who it is! ^_^

(Yuki handed Shigure the phone)

Shigure- Hello Ajkito! ^_^

Ajkito- Hello perverted man! ^_^

Shigure- So why did you call?

Ajkito- PHONE IN TROUBLE! PHONE FAINT! SAVE PHONE! HELP PHONE!

Shigure- Okay I'm coming, bye Ajkito! ^_^

Ajkito- Bye perverted Shigure who I hate! ^_^

Shigure- Huh?

Ajkito- Ajkito is reading out of Phone's journal! Phone no like Shigure! ^_^

Shigure- (Gasp) AKITO'S JOURNAL?! MUHA MUHA!

Ajkito- Huh?

Shigure- Ahem, nothing.......I will be there in a second......bwahaha....

(Shigure hangs up)

(Kyo poked his head out of his room to see Shigure grabbing his coat and laughing histaricly)

Kyo- What's with you? You look like you've just won a million dollars...

(Shigure kept laughing and headed for the door)

Kyo- What? DID WE ACCTUALLY WIN A MILLION DOLLARS??! DID WE?!

Shigure- No, but...heeheehahaha...I feel like a millionair. Well, I have to go before Akito wakes up- I mean uh...see you later! ^_^

(Shigure rushed out the door)

Kyo- He is up to something...

(When Shigure comes to Akito's room Akito is on the floor and Ajkito is kneeling next to him putting a wet cloth on his forehead)

Shigure- Oh dear me, Akito is still down?

Ajkito- Ajkito.

Shigure- Huh? Oh right you call Akito "Phone"......

Ajkito- PHONE! ^_^ (Gasp) MUST HELP PHONE! PHONE FAINTED!

(Shigure wasn't really listening. His eyes had fallen upon a journal in Ajkito's hands)

Shigure- Uh Ajkito.....is that by any chance.......Akito's journal?

(Ajkito nodded and Shigure made a grab for it)

Shigure- GIMME THAT!

(Ajkito jumped up and caused Shigure to fall on Akito)

Akito- AAAAAAAH!!

(Akito's eyes opened slowly)

Akito- (Waking up) Oww....what the hell?

Ajkito- PHONE!! ^_^

Shigure- Uh...Hello...Akito... ^_^

(Akito stared at Shigure for a moment)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAH!

Shigure- You don't have to yell! I came to save you! ^_^

Akito- YOU'RE CRUSHING ME YOU BUFFOON! GET OFF OF ME!

(With much pushing and screaming from Akito, Shigure managed to get up)

Akito- GET OUT!

Shigure- But-

Akito- GET!

Shigure- But I came to help you! Ajkito called me and said that you had fainted!

(Akito shot a glance at Ajkito)

Akito- You could have called Hatori or the servants or 911 but NO! YOU CALL HIM!

(Akito pointed to Shigure)

Shigure- Don't be so harsh Akito, I was just worried....

(Akito grinned)

Akito- Were you?

(Akito snatched his journal from Ajkito)

Akito- Or did Ajkito open his big mouth, and you came for this?

(Shigure's mouth dropped)

Shigure- I WOULD NEVER-!

Akito- Save it! Now leave!

Ajkito- Phone?

Akito- What?

Ajkito- Ajkito would like to know how babies are born.

(Akito froze and Shigure turned to Ajkito grinning like an idiot)

Shigure- Oh do you now? Okay Ajkito I will tell you how-

(Akito tackled Shigure)

Akito- DON'T CORRUPT MY ROBOT WITH YOUR SICK THOUGHTS!

Shigure- Well Akito he is going to find out someday....

Akito- NOT IF YOU DON'T OPEN YOUR BIG MOUTH!!

(Ajkito stared at Shigure and Akito)

Ajkito- Phone, do babies come from the stork?

(Akito smiled and stood up)

Akito- Yes Ajkito, that is EXACTLY how babies are born. Right Shigure?

Shigure- Heeheehahaha not really....

(Akito elbowed Shigure)

Shigure- Yes Ajkito, that is how babies are born. Ow....

Akito- Good. Now Ajkito leave and go get Hatori.

(Ajkito left and Shigure walked up to Akito)

Shigure- So Akito, want to go ask the STORK for a baby? ^_^

(Akito elbowed Shigure again and grabbed a green journal from under his bed)

Shigure- HEY! THAT ONE IS MINE!

Akito- Bwahaha! Not anymore!

(Akito dashed out of his room with Shigure following right behind him)

MEANWHILE

(Ajkito was walking down the hallway when Ren stepped out of her room)

Ren- What the-? Heeheehee I will get Akito this time.....muha muha.....

(When Ajkito reached the stairs Ren pushed him causing him to tumble down the many flights of stairs)

Ajkito- AAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (CRASH) AAAAAAAAAAH!

Ren- Heeheehahaha! Bwahahaha! Bwahaha! Muha muha! Muahahahahaha! MUAHAHA! MUHAUHA!

Ajkito- HELP AJKITO! HELP AJKITO! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! PHONE! PHONE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Akito- That sounded like Ajkito...

(Some servants saw Ajkito and thought that it was Akito)

Servant- Oh my god! SAVE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY! AAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Soon a mob of servants were running down the stairs trying to save Ajkito)

Servants- SAVE THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY! OH NO! AAAAAAAAAAH!!

Ajkito- AAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA!

(Akito ran around the corner and ran right into Ren)

Akito- AAAAH!! IT'S YOU!

Ren- Huh? But I thought I just pushed you down the stairs...

Akito- You what? But I'm right here how could you-? AAAAAAAAH! YOU PUSHED AJKITO!!

(Akito stampeded down the stairs to find Ajkito at the bottom with ten servants crowding around him)

Servants- OH NO! AKITO BROKE IN TO PIECES! WAAAHAAAAHAAA!

Akito- AJKITO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Shigure was following Akito the whole time and when he saw Ajkito he began to laugh)

Shigure- Heeheehahaha serves that little thing right! ^_^

(Akito shot Shigure a "go to hell" look)

Shigure- I mean...uh...not funny...bwahaha...^_^

Akito- SHUT UP! AJKITO SAY SOMETHING! SPEAK TO ME AJKITO!

Ajkito- Helphelphelphelphelphelp!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AJKITO'S SPEACH IS RUINED! GRAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAA!

Ajkito- Phone phone phone phone phone phone phone!

(Akito thrusted a finger towards Ren who had just walked down stairs)

Akito- YOU BROKE AJKITO! ARGH I WILL KILL YOU!

(Akito made a lunge for Ren but Shigure held him back)

Shigure- Now now Akito. Calm down. ^_^

Akito- (Struggling) Don't YOU tell me to calm down! Get off of me! Let me at her!

Ren- Heeheehahaha muha! ^_^ I broke Akito's stupid little robot! I broke it! Me! Me! Me! Heeheehahahahahahaha! ^_^

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAH!! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO THROW! MY AIM IS PERFECT! IT IS! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO THROW! IT WILL HIT! IT WILL! IT WILL!

Shigure- I'm going to take Akito to his room to calm him down. ^_^

(Shigure began walking up the stairs with Akito restrained in his arms)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! I WANT TO STAY WITH AJKITO! MURDER! MURDER! HELP ME! SAVE ME! DON'T FORGET TO CALL BOBBY! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Shigure finally got Akito up to his room and plopped him down on the floor)

Akito- OW!

Shigure- Now, calm down or I will start singing.

Akito- I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!

Shigure- (Singing) When you touch me like this, and I kiss you like that...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! OKAY! I WILL BE QUIET! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!

Shigure- Good. ^_^

Akito- Shut up. Thanks to that stupid woman, I have to call Bobby again.

Shigure- Him again?

(Akito pulls out his cell phone to call Bobby, but Shigure grabs it away)

Akito- HEY!

Shigure- I forbid you to call Bobby. Find someone else to fix your stupid robot.

Akito- YOU forbid ME?!

Shigure- Yes. ^_^

(Akito snatches his phone back)

Akito- You can't forbid me from anything, and Bobby is the only one who can fix Ajkito.

Shigure- But-

(Just then a servant walked in with the broken Ajkito)

Ajkito- Phone PhonePhone Phone Phone Phone Phone Phone Phone Phone Phone Phone PhonePhone Phone.

Shigure- Muha... ^_^

Akito- (Gasp) POOR AJKITO!

Ajkito- Help help help help help.

(Akito ran over to Ajkito and hugged him)

Akito- Don't worry Ajkito, Bobby will fix you.

Shigure- Hopefully not...

Akito- Everyone get out of my room, especially Shigure.

Shigure- You're no fun.

Akito- OUT!

Ajkito- Out out out.

(The servant and Shigure left)

(Akito sat on his bed. He looked to his left and saw a piece of paper)

Akito- Huh? What is this?

(Akito picked out the piece of paper, and realized it was the list he made at Stinky's funeral)

Akito- (Gasp) I STILL HAVE TO PUNISH THOSE LOSERS!

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- (Evil Grin) And Shigure is first on my list...

THAT AFTERNOON

--Onigiri logs on--

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

ILOVEKYO- Tohru you better stay away from Kyo! He's MY boyfriend.

Onigiri- Kyo never said anything about you being his girlfriend...

ILOVEKYO- Well he IS!

--Cheeseman logs on--

--Fishfan logs on--

Fishfan- QUIT FILLING TOHRU'S HEAD WITH LIES KAGURA!!

ILOVEKYO- (Sigh) My love is here! ^_^

Fishfan- I AM NOT YOUR LOVE! AND I AM DEFINITLY NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND!!

ILOVEKYO- But Kyo...

Cheeseman- So Honda-san, may I buy you lunch?

Fishfan- NO WAY!

Onigiri- Sure you can. I mean, if it's not to much trouble....

Cheeseman- Not at all. ^_^

Fishfan- But Tohru...

ILOVEKYO- You can take ME out to lunch Kyo! ^_^

Fishfan- I'll pass.

ILOVEKYO- DON'T YOU LOVE ME KYO?! DON'T YOU??!!

Fishfan- No.

ILOVEKYO- I THINK YOU DO!

FishFan- No, not really.

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

Cheeseman- Shall we go Honda-san?

Onigiri- Yes lets! ^_^

Fishfan- But Tohru...I CAN TAKE YOU OUT TO LUNCH BETTER THAN YUKI CAN!

CheeseMan- What nonsense are you spouting?

Onigiri- Kyo, Yuki is my friend too.

Cheeseman- That's right.

Fishfan- Oh fine...

--CheeseMan logs off--

Onigiri- Good-bye Kyo-kun! ^_^

FishFan- Bye.

--Onigiri logs off--

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- I know something Kyo doesn't know, I know something Kyo doesn't know! ^_^

Fishfan- Oh no, it's YOU!

Luvpuppy- Guess what?

Fishfan- What?

Luvpuppy- Kagura is here.

Fishfan- OH MY GOD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

--Fishfan logs off--

Luvpuppy- Hahaha! ^_^

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- I've got news.

Luvpuppy- Yes dear Haa-san, please tell me your news.

BubbleDragon- Akito says that he wants you to come over later tonight.

Luvpuppy- Hahahaha, very funny. Now really, what is it?

BubbleDragon- Shigure I'm not kidding.

Luvpuppy- You're serious?

BubbleDragon- I'm not like you Shigure. I don't joke around. Akito told me to tell you that.

Luvpuppy- Oh great what did I do this time? Or maybe...(Snicker)

BubbleDragon- You're sick.

--BubbleDragon logs off--

Luvpuppy- Better go get ready! ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN SHIGURE WENT TO THE MAIN HOUSE

(Shigure walked up to Akito's room, and knocked on the door)

Shigure- If this is some kind of trick Hatori is playing on me, then I swear...

Akito- Just a minute!

Shigure- Hmmm...maybe Hatori wasn't lying after all...

(Akito opened the door a crack, and peeked outside)

Akito- Oh. You came.

Shigure- Well yes, Hatori said that you wanted me to come, and- Oh my god......

(Akito opened the door all the way so Shigure could see that all he was wearing was a skimpy, see through night gown)

Shigure- Wow...

Akito- Well? Are you going to come in, or would you rather stand there?

Shigure- I think I'll come in.

(Shigure walked in Akito's room. Candles were everywhere, and the table was set for what looked to be a romantic dinner. Shigure glanced to the side and saw strawberries, and whipped creame)

Shigure- (Whispering) It's my lucky day! ^_^

(Akito sat down on his bed and patted the spot next to him)

Akito- Sit.

(Shigure quickly sat down next to Akito)

Shigure- So what did you have planned tonight?

Akito- I think you know what I have planned for tonight, Shigure.

Shigure- I think I do! ^_^

(Akito stood up and poured two glasses of red wine)

Akito- Would you like some wine?

(Shigure stood up, and walked over to Akito)

Shigure- I'm not in the mood for wine right now.

(Shigure took the drinks from Akito and set them on the table)

(Akito smiled, and looked up into Shigure's eyes)

Akito- Please Shigure. I'm dying to hear what you're in the mood for.

(Shigure moved closer)

Shigure- Well-

(Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Akito grabbed Shigure's arm and began pulling him to the door)

Akito- Well, looks like my dinner date is here. Good-bye Shigure! ^_^

Shigure- What? But I thought-?

(The door opened and Bobby walked in wearing a suit and tie)

Shigure- Huh?

Akito- Hello Bobby. Please make yourself comfortable.

Bobby- Thank you Akito, I brought you a gift.

Akito- You did? How sweet! ^_^

Shigure- Wait.........but........ HUH?? I thought I was your dinner date.

Akito- Hahaha, silly Shigure. What ever gave you THAT idea?

Shigure- But you just-

Akito- Bye! ^_^

(Akito pushed Shigure out of the room, and locked the door behind him)

(Shigure stood outside the room, dumbfounded)

Shigure- But...what...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! A-KI-TO!!

Akito- GO AWAY!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Shigure pounded the door)

Shigure- What did I do to deserve this?

Akito- WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

Shigure- AGH! IT'S THAT DAMN LIST ISN'T IT?!

Akito- Yes, and not to mention the hell I went through because of all the musical cards you sent me.

Shigure- Come on Akito, that was just a joke....you don't have to do this just to get back at me....

Akito- Lets eat Bobby! ^_^

Bobby- Yes lets.

Shigure- RAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- Oh and I just adore the flowers you got me. How can I....EVER repay you?

Bobby- I know how...

Shigure- STOP IT! AKITO STOP! YOU WIN! I'M SORRY!

Akito- Just ignore him Bobby.

Bobby- With you here, that won't be a problem.

Shigure- ACK! YOU BETTER NOT DO ANYTHING TO AKITO!

Bobby- Do you want to try a strawberry?

Akito- Only if you feed it to me...

Shigure- RAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- Mmm....that is SO delicious Bobby.

Bobby- That outfit you're wearing really brings out your beautiful figure.

Shigure- AGH!

Akito- Thank you Bobby. Oh, you got something on your mouth, let me get that off for you.

Bobby- No napkins?

Akito- No need.

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

(Just then Hatori and Kureno walked up to the crying Shigure)

Hatori- What in the world happened to you?

Shigure- Akito is in there with another man!

(Hatori and Kureno pressed their ears up against the door to Akito's room)

Shigure- HEY!

Kureno- Shut up! We're trying to listen!

Akito- Take off your shirt.

Bobby- Okay.

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!! A-KI-TO! NOOOOOO!

Hatori- Oh my.

Akito- Your chest is so SEXY!

Kureno- GAAAAAH!

Shigure- OH MY GOD HATORI, DO SOMETHING!!!

Hatori- I'm afraid I can't do anything.

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Akito turned on some romantic music so that, Shigure couldn't hear what he and Bobby were doing)

Shigure- I CAN'T HEAR WHAT THEY'RE DOING!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Music from Akito's room-

Hey Nobody gonna love me better, I must stick with you forever Nobody gonna take me higher, I must stick with you

Kureno- What the hell?!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Hatori- Oh jeez...

Music from Akito's room-  
You know how to 'preciate me, I must stick with you my baby Nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick with you

Shigure- A-KI-TO!! I'M SORRY! IF THIS IS ABOUT MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY, IT HAS WORKED! IT WORKED! DON'T DO THIS!

(Akito turns up the music)

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Music from Akito's room-

Hey yeah, I'm singing cause your so so into me I've got you,  
We'll be making love endlessly I'm with you, baby, you're with me

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WHAT KIND OF MUSIC IS THAT?!

Kureno- The PussyCat Dolls. StickWitU.

(Shigure stopped screaming and turned to look at Kureno. Hatori was doing the same)  
(Kureno shook his head and put his hands up)

Kureno- Uh, but- I It s not like I listen to them or anything

(A sigh came from Akito s room)

Akito- Oh, Bobby!

Shigure- NOOOOOOOOOOO!

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. I hoped it made you laugh your butt off. Please read and review the story! ^_^ Love you all! ^_^ If you like Naruto, please read my story Breathe. Thank you. ;)**


	38. Chapter 38: Chucky

**A/N: Hiya you guys! ^_^ Are you ready for the next chapter in The Fruits Basket Chatroom Story? I know I am! (I do not own Furuba or Fruits Basket or however you wish to say it!)**

**Enjoy my latest masterpiece. LOL.**

**---**

**Chapter 38: Chucky**

THAT NIGHT

--CheeseMan logs on--

--Onigiri logs on--

CheeseMan- It's really late; I wonder where Shigure is...

Onigiri- Yeah I'm really worried. He said that he would be back before dinner...

--FishFan logs on--

FishFan- My_ god_ Kagura will not take a hint!

Onigiri- Hello Kyo! ^_^ Where have you been all day?

FishFan- Well you see-

CheeseMan- You don't even need to tell us, because I already know. Kagura tried to get you to go on a date with her. You said no, _obviously,_ so she threatened your life, as _always._ So after having one of your fights, you gave in, and went out with her. And knowing you, as soon as she turned her head, you bolted. You've been hiding from her all day, and just a few minutes ago, you decided to come out of your hiding spot. Or possibly, you're _still_ hiding, and you got so bored, that you decided to see who was online.

FishFan- ..........

CheeseMan- I see that I'm correct.

FishFan- SHUT UP YOU DAMN RAT! YOU DON'T KNOW _ANYTHING!!_

CheeseMan- At least I know more than you.

Onigiri- Umm....please don't fight....

FishFan- SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I SHUT IT FOR YOU!

CheeseMan- Like you could. And even if you wanted to, you wouldn't come out of hiding.

FishFan- How do you know I'm hiding? I could be in my room right now, _smart ass!_

CheeseMan- Lets see. If you weren't hiding, and you were in your room, I'm sure you would have tried to _attack_ me by now. And besides, when Honda-san and I got home, nobody was here, and_ nobody_ has come home since then.

FishFan- .........

CheeseMan- I see that I'm correct again.

FishFan- YOU DAMN RAT! SO WHAT IF I'M HIDING?! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU KNOW WHERE I AM!

CheeseMan- Well you're not at the house, so that leaves out yours, and Shigure's computer. You wouldn't be using Kisa's or Hiro's computer, and you wouldn't use Isuzu's computer. You wouldn't go anywhere_ near_ Ayame's computer for fear that Ayame maybe around, and you definitely wouldn't be on Kagura's computer, and we all know the reason for _**THAT.**_ I also know that Ritsu and Momiji get on your last nerve, so you wouldn't be anywhere near their computers. Am I right so far?

FishFan- What the _hell_-?!

CheeseMan- I guess I am. And last, I know that you wouldn't be anywhere near the Main House, so that rules out Hatori's, Kureno's, and Akito's computer. So that just leaves one person left. You are at Hatsuharu's house using his computer, because as I recall, he and Isuzu were going out tonight.

Onigiri- Oh my....

Kyo- ACK! HOW IN THE HELL-?!

CheeseMan- It is called the process of elimination, stupid cat.

Kyo- WHY YOU-!

CheeseMan- Now if you'll excuse me for a moment.

(CheeseMan sends an e-mail to ILOVEKYO)

E-mail-

Kyo is at Hatsuharu's house.

FishFan- WHAT IS HE DOING??! _**HE BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK HE'S DOING!**_

CheeseMan- All done. ^_^

FishFan- WHAT DID YOU _DO_??!

CheeseMan- Oh nothing. ^_^

(ILOVEKYO responds to CheeseMan's e-mail)

E-mail-

I'm on my way. Thank you Yuki-kun! ^_^

CheeseMan- Bwahaha... ^_^

FishFan- What is it? WHAT DID YOU DO?!

CheeseMan- Don't you worry about a thing...

FishFan- If you did what I _think_ you did...

Onigiri- So Kyo-kun, what time do you think you'll be home?

FishFan- Well, as soon as I'm sure Kagura has given up on trying to find me, then I'll come home.

Onigiri- Oh okay.

CheeseMan- By all means, please stay there as long as you need. I like the quiet.

FishFan- You wanna start something again?! Oh hold on someone s at the door. I hope it's not Hatsuharu back already.

CheeseMan- Bwahaha... ^_^

Onigiri- What is so funny Yuki-kun?

CheeseMan- I'll tell you later Honda-san. ^_^

Onigiri- Okay. ^_^

FishFan- Strange. Nobody was at the door when I went to answer it...

CheeseMan- Huh?

Onigiri- That's scary...

FishFan- Ya think? I could've sworn I heard someone knock...

CheeseMan- Perhaps, Chucky has come to kill you.

Onigiri- Chucky?

FishFan- Chucky?! Who the hell is Chucky? Is he another bear?

CheeseMan- No Kyo, Chucky is not a bear.

Onigiri- Thank _goodness!_ ^_^

FishFan- Then I have nothing to worry about! ^_^

CheeseMan- Chucky is a killer doll.

Onigiri- _KILLER DOLL?!_

FishFan- You must be joking! A _doll_?! KILL _ME_?! BWAHAHA!

CheeseMan- Yes. He carries knives, and voodoo dolls to torture people with.

FishFan- WHERE DO YOU GET ALL OF THIS _CRAP_?! _**Voodoo dolls?!**_ I laugh at you! **_Ha ha! ^_^_**

Onigiri- Knives? Voodoo dolls? Yuki-kun that's scary...

CheeseMan- Don't worry Honda-san, Chucky only comes after _STUPID_ people. Kyo must be on the top of his list. It's just a matter of time now.

Onigiri- Kyo-kun maybe you should come home...

FishFan- I _AM NOT_ afraid of a doll named Clucky.

CheeseMan- **_Chucky_.**

FishFan- I DON'T CARE WHAT HIS NAME IS, CAUSE HE AIN'T REAL! WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT DAMN RAT SAYS?!

Onigiri- But Kyo-kun-

FishFan- Hold on. Someone s at the door again.

CheeseMan- Finally, she came! ^_^

Onigiri- She?

CheeseMan- Well you see-

FishFan- Nobody was at the door!

CheeseMan- _WHAT?!_

Onigiri- IT'S CHUCKY!

FishFan- Tohru, don't believe that stupid rat. He's just trying to scare me.

CheeseMan- Then how do you explain nobody being at the door? Chucky loves to torment people first, THEN he kills them. And since he's a doll, he is really short. When you opened the door I'll bet you didn't even look down. Chucky could've walked right into the house and you wouldn't even know.

Onigiri- OH MY GOSH!

FishFan- Ha ha, very funny Rat Boy, now stop playing around...

CheeseMan- Are you scared?

Onigiri- I am.

FishFan- OF COURSE NOT!

CheeseMan- Right...

FishFan- I'M NOT! Chucky is just a little doll right?

CheeseMan- Right.

FishFan- Well then if he tries anything, I'll kick his ass! A little doll can't beat me!

CheeseMan- If it came to using your brain, Chucky would win hands down.

FishFan- DOLLS DON'T HAVE BRAINS!

CheeseMan- I _know_.

FishFan- ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THAT I'M _STUPID_?!

CheeseMan- _Really?!_ You figured that out on your own?!

FishFan- I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!

CheeseMan- Now where have I heard that before?

FishFan- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! I'M GOING TO HURT- HAJD SHFSES DJFSDJGJGSD FTGDFTIRTUROJAOSD

CheeseMan- Huh?

Onigiri- Oh my gosh! CHUCKY GOT KYO!!

CheeseMan- That would be a blessing.

FishFan- _**OH MY GOD!**_

Onigiri- What happened Kyo-kun?

FishFan- The lights flickered, startled me there for a sec. Kinda creepy...

CheeseMan- _What?_ **_What_** is that? Is the Great Kyo saying that he's _SCARED?!_

FishFan- HELL NO! Just a little creeped out...

Onigiri- Please come home Kyo-kun.

FishFan- Alright, alright.

CheeseMan- Don't forget, Chucky could be waiting outside for you too.

Onigiri- OH NO!

FishFan- I'm not afraid of dolls.....or killer dolls...

CheeseMan- Uh huh.

FishFan- Hold on, someone s knocking on the door. I'm taking a bat with me this time...

CheeseMan- He's scared.

Onigiri- Hatsuharu has a bat?

CheeseMan- Maybe Kagura finally came.

Onigiri- Kagura?

CheeseMan- Yeah, I told Kagura where Kyo was, but apparently she hasn't come yet.

Onigiri- But what if Kyo accidentally swings at Kagura? He said he was bringing a bat...

CheeseMan- Oh dear... This will end badly...

FishFan- Okay someone is playing a prank on me or something!

CheeseMan- Who was at the door?

FishFan- _NOBODY!_ And I looked down this time...just in case...

Onigiri- Kyo this is getting way to scary....

CheeseMan- I think it's funny! ^_^

FishFan- Hey guys...have you ever had that feeling someone s watching you?

CheeseMan- Of course. You _glare_ at me all the time.

FishFan- I suddenly feel that I'm not alone....

CheeseMan- Scardy cat.

FishFan- _That's it_! I'm coming home to kick your aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

--FishFan was disconnected--

Onigiri- (Gasp) WE MUST GO SAVE KYO-KUN FROM CHUCKY!

--Onigiri logs off--

CheeseMan- Oh great.

--CheeseMan logs off--

**A/N: Hahahaha, this one is one of my favorites. Sorry it's a little short but I hoped you liked it anyway. Read and review please! ^_^ Thanks.**


	39. Chapter 39: The Great Sohma Flood

**A/N: Alright the new update is here. If you have a tendency to laugh at my stories, I warn you now, do NOT drink or eat anything while reading this chapter. Thank you and enjoy. ^_^**

**Brace Yourselves.**

**---**

**Chapter 39: The Great Sohma Flood**

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YUKI AND TOHRU GOT TO HARU'S HOUSE

(When Yuki and Tohru left the house, they realized that it had been raining. The rain was coming down so hard that by the time they reached Hatsuharu's house, the water had already reached almost to their knees)

Yuki- Stay by my side Honda-san.

Tohru- Okay. Yuki-kun I'm scared...

Yuki- Don't worry, I'll protect you.

Tohru- Okay...

(Yuki came to the front door of Haru's house and opened it slowly)

Yuki- Oh my lord.

Tohru- What?! What is it?

Yuki- What happened to Kagura?!

(Kagura was lying on the floor, knocked out)

Tohru- (Gasp) KAGURA!

(Tohru rushed over to Kagura's side)

Tohru- What do you think happened?

Yuki- I don't know. But I don't see that Stupid Cat anywhere.

(Tohru looked around and saw Kyo's clothes lying next to the computer)

Tohru- Yuki-kun, there are Kyo-kun's clothes!

Yuki- Well yes, but that still doesn't explain where-

Kyo- GRAAAH!!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Tohru- KYO-KUN! ^_^

Kyo- YOU DAMN RAT! YOU STEPPED ON MY TAIL!!

Yuki- Well what are you doing lying in the middle of the floor?!

Kyo- I CAN LAY WHERE EVER I WANT TO! YOU NEED TO WATCH WHERE YOU STEP!

Yuki- WELL YOU NEED TO WATCH YOUR BACK, CAUSE I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ORANGE ASS!

Kyo- I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY!

(Tohru picked up Kyo and set him in her lap)

Tohru- Kyo, Yuki, please don't fight. We need to find out what happened to Kagura!

Kyo- (Scowling) How do you think I got like this? Kagura was in the house the whole time. She jumped out from the shadows and almost gave me a heart attack!

Tohru- Then what?

Kyo- Well before I knew who it was-

Yuki- He thought it was Chucky.

Kyo- I DID NOT! Okay well maybe a little...but anyways, I swung the bat I was holding, and it hit Kagura in the face.

Yuki- YOU HIT HER IN THE FACE WITH A BAT?!

Kyo- Don't freak out, it was PLASTIC.

Yuki- I can see it now. Him trying to kill Chucky with a PLASTIC bat. Chucky would die from laughter.

Kyo- HEY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT HARU DIDN'T HAVE A BETTER BAT!

Tohru- A plastic bat knocked Kagura out?

Kyo- No. After I hit her, she fell back and hit her head on Hatsuharu's stereo. That's what knocked her out.

(Yuki and Tohru looked over at Haru's stereo to see a huge dent in it)

Tohru- Oh my...

Kyo- Yeah. She's been out for awhile.

Tohru- Should we take her back to Shigure-san's house?

Yuki- I guess that is the only thing we can do.

(Yuki shot a look at Kyo)

Yuki- This is all YOUR fault.

Kyo- WHAT?! ME?!

Yuki- Yes you.

Kyo- YOU ARE SO FULL OF-

(Kyo transformed back into a human)

Tohru- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- Sorry Tohru.

Yuki- Ugh. Put some clothes on.

(Tohru smiled weakly as she looked away)

Tohru- It's okay Kyo, it's not your fault.

Yuki- Yes it is.

Kyo- YOU WANNA FIGHT?!

Yuki- JEEZ! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

Kyo- Oh right...

(Kyo put his clothes on and Yuki picked up Kagura)

Yuki- Let's get back to the house. The storm is getting worse, and Kagura could have a concussion.

Kyo- Maybe she'll have brain damage! ^_^

Yuki- You better hope she forgets this little incident, or she's going to kick your ass when she wakes up.

Kyo- Aww, man...

(Everyone walked over to the front door and Tohru tried to open it, but it was stuck)

Tohru- Umm...Yuki-kun?

Yuki- Yes Honda-san?

Tohru- The door won't open...

Kyo- WHAT?!

(Yuki handed Kagura to Kyo, and tried to open the door himself, but it would not budge)

Yuki- We're stuck.

Tohru- Oh no!

(Kyo handed Kagura back to Yuki)

Kyo- Let the Master try.

Yuki- Master? Bwahaha!

(Kyo pulled and tugged at the door, but it still wouldn't open. He kicked the door in frustration)

Yuki- By all means Kyo, kick the door. That will really solve all of our problems.

Kyo- SHUT UP! There is no way out!

Yuki- That's why people invented backdoors, and windows.

Kyo- SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU ALWAYS ACT LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, BUT YOU DON'T!!

Tohru- Ummm...please don't fight...

Yuki- You are upsetting Honda-san Kyo. Shut up.

Kyo- WHY YOU!

(Yuki walked to the back door, and tried to open it. Just like the front door, it was stuck)

Yuki- Oh great.

Tohru- The windows won't open either!

Kyo- Well, I guess we'll just have to wait until Haru comes home.

Yuki- HE MIGHT STAY OUT ALL NIGHT!

Tohru- And we need to get Kagura to Hatori...

Kyo- It's not like it could get any worse.

(Suddenly there was a huge rumble of thunder, and the lights flickered, and then went out)

Kyo- I guess I spoke too soon...

Yuki- That's it! I'm going to kill him!

Tohru- It's okay, we will find a way out of here!

(Kyo walked up to the front door and rolled up his sleeves)

Kyo- I'm going to break down the door.

Tohru- What? No, Kyo-kun!

Kyo- This is the only way to get us outta here.

Yuki- And Kagura does need to see a doctor, so I guess I agree.

Kyo- Okay then.

(Kyo kicked the door with all of his strength, and it went crashing down)

Kyo- YES! I got us out of the- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Because of the storm, it had begun to flood in many areas, including Hatsuharu's house. So when Kyo broke down the door, all of the water that was gathering up outside, came pouring into the house)

Tohru- AAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- OH MY- BLAAAHAAAAHAAAA!!

Kyo- BLAHAHAHAHA! BLUHBLUHBLAHBLUH! (Gasp) (Gasp) WHERE DID ALL OF THIS WATER COME FROM??!

Yuki- YOU IDIOT! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!

Kyo- YOU AGREED WITH ME DUMB ASS!

Tohru- (Gasp) (Sputter) Oh no! The water is rising!

Yuki- HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS?!

(Kyo had jumped on Haru's table)

Kyo- I have no idea, but I ain't getting back in that water!

Yuki- If the water keeps rising like this we'll die! We have to move now!

Tohru- Yuki! I'm not a good swimmer!

Yuki- It's okay Honda-san, just hold on to...on to...

Tohru- But I can't hold on to you or you'll transform!

(Kagura began to wake up)

Kagura- Mmm....what's going on?

Kyo- AWW HELL!

Yuki- It's okay Kagura, I've got you.

Kagura- Where are we? I can't remember anything...

Kyo- YES! ^_^

Kagura- Where is Kyo?

Kyo- DAMMIT!

Yuki- On the table, acting scared, as usual.

Kyo- I'LL KILL YOU!

Tohru- Guys! This is no time to have an argument! We have to get out of this house!

Yuki- You're right Honda-san. Kagura can you walk?

Kagura- I'm kind of dizzy, and my ankle hurts. I think I might have twisted it...

Yuki- Alright. Honda-san, you hold onto Kagura's arm so I can protect both of you. Stay as close together as you can.

(Kagura grabbed Tohru's arm)

Kagura- TOHRU! ^_^

Tohru- KAGURA! ^_^

Kyo- Gag me.

Yuki- Kyo?

Kyo- What?

Yuki- Move it, or lose it.

Kyo- WHAT?!

(Yuki, Kagura and Tohru slowly made their way out of the flooded house, and Kyo reluctantly jumped down from the table and into the waist deep water)

Kyo- WAIT FOR ME!!

(Everyone made it out of the house and stood in the rain wondering what to do next)

Yuki- Okay, let s see. We have Honda-san, who can't swim, a cripple, and a stupid ass.

Kyo- YOU BETTER NOT BE TALKING ABOUT ME! I AM NOT A CRIPPLE!

Yuki- (Sigh) You're the stupid ass, not the cripple.

Kyo- THAT'S GOING TO GET YOU A NOSE BLEED!

Tohru- Please don't fight...

Kyo- WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?!

Yuki- What?

Kyo- If I'm a stupid ass, then what are you? A RETARD?! A LOSER?! A MOTHER-

Tohru- KYO! PLEASE STOP!

Yuki- Wrong. I am the person who helps the cripple, and the one who can't swim, but leaves the Stupid Ass to drown.

Kyo- WHY YOU!

Kagura- The water is rising.

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WE GOTTA MOVE!

Yuki- Okay, everyone look for something to float on.

Kagura- How about that door that's floating around over there?

Tohru- (Gasp) The door that Kyo broke down is big enough to hold all of us!

Yuki- You're right.

Kyo- I'll go get it.

(Kyo waded out into the water that now almost reached his chest. When Kyo was about to grab the door, a huge wave of water splashed him in the face, knocking him down)

Kyo- GAH! BLAHAHA! BLAHBLAHBLAHBLUH! BLUHBLUHBLAHBLAH! HELP ME!

Yuki- Bwahaha! ^_^

(Kyo came up a second later spitting and cursing. He grabbed the door and brought it back over to Tohru, Yuki, and Kagura)

Kyo- Here's your damn door! Damn, stupid ass shitty door!

Yuki- You get on first Honda-san.

Tohru- Okay...

(Tohru climbed onto the door, and then Yuki set Kagura on it)

Yuki- Is it sturdy?

Tohru- Yes, very. ^_^

Yuki- Okay, Kyo get on.

Kyo- Whatever.

(Kyo climbed on, and then Yuki)

Kyo- So what do we do now Einstein?

Yuki- I guess we just let the current take us where ever it wants to, as long as it's away from here.

Kyo- Brilliant. That'll work.

Tohru- There is nothing else we can do.

(Suddenly a large gust of wind began to make the door move)

Yuki- Here we go! Hold on everybody!

MEANWHILE AT THE MAIN HOUSE

(Shigure had fallen asleep outside Akito's door)

Bobby- Do you think it's safe to go out now?

Akito- Yeah. The fool probably fell asleep right outside my door.

(Akito opened his door to see Shigure sprawled across the hallway)

Akito- (Sigh) My point exactly.

Bobby- Well, I had fun pulling that prank on Shigure! ^_^ Call me anytime.

Akito- Okay. Bye Bobby! ^_^

(Bobby walked away)

(Akito looked down at the sleeping Shigure)

Akito- What am I going to do with you? I can't leave you out here, or That Woman might try to steal you. What to do, what to do...

(Akito dragged Shigure into his room, and closed the door behind him)

Akito- You can sleep on the floor.

(Akito walked over to his window and gazed out at the sky)

Akito- The moon is so beautiful tonight, and so is the ocean. Wait a minute...OCEAN??! What the hell?! What is with all of the water?!

(Akito tensed up)

Akito- For some strange reason, I feel that I'm not alone...

Shigure- A-KI-TO!!!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

BACK TO THE OTHERS

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!!

Yuki- STAY DOWN HONDA-SAN!!

Kagura and Tohru- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!!

(The door crashed into a nearby tree. The impact caused Kyo to fly backward, and Yuki to tumble forward.)

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- AAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA!

(Both Kyo and Yuki landed on Tohru causing them to transform. Then the door began to move again, picking up speed)

(Yuki was hanging onto Kyo's tail for dear life)

Yuki- KYO THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!

Kyo- MY FAULT?!

Yuki- YEAH!

Tohru- Please don't fight...

Kyo- WELL IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH, THEN LET GO OF MY TAIL!

Yuki- THE WIND WILL CARRY ME AWAY! I'LL DROWN!

Kyo- I really don't see the problem in that.

Kagura- Hey you guys?

Yuki and Kyo- WHAT?!

Kagura- Your clothes flew off into the water.

Kyo- WHAT?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- NOOOOOOOOO!!

(Yuki had managed to climb onto Kyo's head)

Yuki- This is getting worse and worse!

Kyo- GET OFF OF MY HEAD!

Yuki- SHUT UP AND DEAL WITH IT!

(Just at that moment, Kyo and Yuki changed back into a human. Yuki was directly on top of Kyo)

Tohru- OH MY GOSH!

Kagura- GAH!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! GET OFF OF ME! OFF OFF OFF! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- GROSS! YUCK!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Yuki moved to the back of the door behind Tohru)

Yuki- Sorry Honda-san, because of a CERTAIN SOMEONE, we have no clothes.

Tohru- I-I-It's o-okay...

Kagura- Oh my...

Kyo- I've been violated.

(Tohru looked in front of her to see a huge hill that they were about to go down)

Tohru- Umm...uh...that's a large drop ahead...

Yuki- Huh? OH GREAT! I swear if we live through this, I'm going to kill you Kyo.

Kyo- I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! Shit, that's a LONG way down!

Kagura- .........

Yuki- Oh god, hold on everyone!

(Tohru and Kagura grabbed each other)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- I HATE YOU KYO! AAAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAAA!!

Tohru and Kagura- WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

BACK TO THE MAIN HOUSE

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Shigure- I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT WITH BOBBY!

Akito- I-I-I-I-I-I-

Shigure- WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

(Just then Bobby rushed back into Akito's room)

Bobby- Akito! You won't believe this! The whole estate is flooded! And- Oh shit...

(Shigure turned to face Bobby, with his fists clenched)

Shigure- BOB-BY!! RAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Bobby- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! SAVE ME AKITO!

Akito- I'LL SAVE YOU BOBBY!

(Akito pulled out a bat and clubbed Shigure over the head with it, as Bobby raced down the stairs)

Shigure- MY HEAD!

Akito- Did I do that?!

Shigure- A-KI-TO!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Shigure rushed over to Akito, who happened to be standing in front of the window. Akito moved to the left, but Shigure kept going straight. He ended up falling out the window and into the water down below)

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Akito- Oops...

(Just then, everyone that was on the door went by Akito's window)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- KYO QUIT TILTING THE DOOR!! YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE US SINK!!

Tohru and Kagura- WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

(Akito turned back to his window)

Akito- What the hell?! That sounded a lot like-

(Akito saw Yuki, Kyo, Kagura and Tohru floating down the flooded streets on a door)

Akito- What in the-? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! OH MY GOD! YUKI AND KYO ARE NAKED! AND THEY ARE WITH TOHRU HONDA!

(Tohru looked up and saw Akito looking at them. She smiled and waved)

Tohru- HELLO AKITO-SAN!! ^_^

Akito- ACK! TOH-RU HON-DA!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! SHE'S AT IT AGAIN! TRYING TO MAKE A MOVE ON MY ZODIAC! I HATE HER!

Tohru- Akito-san seems upset...

Kyo- AKITO IS WATCHING US??!

Yuki- BUT WE'RE NAKED!! AAAAAAAAAAH!

Kagura- He already saw you.

(Yuki and Kyo slapped their foreheads)

Yuki- He will never let us live this down!

Kyo- It's not like we can do anything about it.

(Kyo looked over to the right and he saw a person in the water)

Kyo- Who is that?

(Tohru looked in the direction of where Kyo was looking)

Tohru- (Gasp) IS THAT SHIGURE-SAN?!

Yuki- No way.

(The person in the water waved at them)

Kagura- That IS Shigure!

Yuki and Kyo- Oh great.

Shigure- YOO HOO! I NEED TO BE RESCUED!! ^_^

Tohru- Lets save Shigure! ^_^

Kyo- Do we have to?

Tohru- Yes! ^_^

Yuki- Honda-san would be sad if we didn't, so we might as well go get him. Everyone lean to the right!

(Everyone leaned to the right, and the water carried the door to where Shigure was floating in the water)

Shigure- I KNEW YOU LOVED ME! ^_^

Yuki- We only came because Honda-san wanted to save you.

Kyo- Otherwise, we wouldn't have come.

Shigure- YOU TWO ARE SO HURTFUL!

Kyo- Yeah yeah, get on.

(Kyo and Yuki pulled Shigure up onto the door)

Shigure- Bless you, Tohru! ^_^

Tohru- Bless you too, Shigure-san! ^_^

Shigure- Yuki, Kyo why are you naked?

Kyo- SHUT UP IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!

Yuki- We fell into Honda-san.

Shigure- Oh my...where are your clothes?

(Yuki pointed to the water)

Shigure- Oh dear...

Kyo- SHUT THE HELL UP! IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!

Yuki- For once, I agree with him

Kagura- We're moving faster!

Shigure- WEEEEEEEE!! THIS IS FUN! ^_^

Yuki- HOLD ONTO THE DOOR YOU BUFFOON OR YOU'RE GOING TO-

(The door rushed forward, and Shigure fell into Tohru making himself transform)

Yuki and Kyo- YOU IDIOT!

Shigure- Sorry...

Yuki- YOU STUBBORN, GOOD FOR NOTHING-

Kyo- IDIOTIC DOG!!

Kagura- Umm, you guys?

Kyo- I SHOULD KILL YOU!

Shigure- Sorry...

Yuki- YOU ARE NOT SORRY!

Kagura- GUYS!!

Yuki and Kyo- WHAT?!

Kagura- Shigure's clothes flew into the water.

Shigure- WHAT?! MY CLOTHES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tohru- Oh no!

Yuki- He deserves it!

Kyo- Humph, now he can feel the cold when he changes back!

Shigure- NOOOOOOOOO!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

Tohru- Please don't fight...

(Tohru looked to the left, and saw a snake wrapped around a telephone pole)

Tohru- Is that...by any chance...Ayame-san?

Kyo and Yuki- WHAT?!

(Shigure snapped around)

Shigure- Aaya? Where?

(Tohru pointed to the telephone pole)

Tohru- Over there.

Shigure- Aaya? Is that you?

Ayame- YUKI! YOUR ONLY BROTHER IS IN TROUBLE! ^_^

Yuki- Oh god.

Tohru- IT IS AYAME-SAN!!

Kyo- We're not stopping to get him. No way.

Ayame- GURE-SAN! WOULD YOU KINDLY COME SAVE ME?! ^_^

Shigure- OF COURSE WE WILL!! ^_^

Yuki- In your dreams.

Kyo- HELL NO!

Tohru- But...but...we MUST save Ayame-san...

Yuki- Honda-san...

Tohru- I'm sorry if I'm being selfish...but please? Ayame-san is my friend, and he is your brother Yuki-kun...

Yuki- I guess we could. If it's what you want Honda-san.

Tohru- It is! ^_^ Oh but, only if it's okay with Kyo-kun...

(Everyone looked at Kyo)

Kyo- Aww hell! Turn the freaking door!

Tohru- Thank you. ^_^

Shigure- HURRAY FOR TOHRU! ^_^

(Just at that moment Shigure became human again)

Tohru- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kagura- OH MY GOSH!

Kyo- AT LEAST TRY TO COVER YOURSELF UP!

Yuki- GET AWAY FROM HONDA-SAN!

Shigure- IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

Ayame- GURE-SAN! THE WATER IS GETTING HIGHER! I WOULD LOVED TO BE SAVED! ^_^

Shigure- WE MUST SAVE AAYA!

Yuki- Okay, everyone lean to the left!

(Everyone leaned to the left and the current carried the door to the telephone pole where Ayame slithered down into Shigure's arms)

Ayame- Oh Gure-san, I've missed you so.

(Ayame changed back into a human, and hugged Shigure)

Tohru- EEK!

Kagura- AAAAAH!

Shigure- I've missed you too Aaya.

Kyo- OH GOD STOP THAT!!

Yuki- DO YOU KNOW HOW WRONG THAT LOOKS?! STOP IT!

Tohru and Kagura- Not looking, not looking...

(Ayame stopped hugging Shigure, and scooted closer to Yuki)

Ayame- Oh Yuki, I just knew you would come save me! ^_^ Now give your big brother a hug, posthaste!

Yuki- If you scoot ANY closer to me, I swear I will jump into the water.

Ayame- Oh Yuki is so mean to me! Well then, I have no other choice but to run into the arms of Tohru! ^_^

(Yuki and Kyo clubbed Ayame over the head)

Yuki- STAY AWAY FROM HONDA-SAN YOU NAKED PERV!

Kyo- IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH HER, I WILL KILL YOU!

Tohru- Uh, really, it's okay. You don't have to hit him.

Kyo and Yuki- YES WE DO!!

Tohru- Uh...okay...

Kagura- I've never been surrounded by so many naked men...

Shigure- Poor Tohru and Kagura. ^_^

Ayame- In a few years, we are all going to look back on this and laugh! Isn't that right Yuki dear? ^_^

Yuki- Don't talk to me.

Shigure- I really don't think our situation could get any worse!

(Kyo and Yuki snapped around)

Yuki- WHY IN THE WORLD DID YOU SAY THAT?!

Shigure- Umm...uh...

Kyo- ARE YOU THE STUPIDEST MAN ON EARTH?! YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE US BAD LUCK!

(Suddenly the current of water changed directions, and began carrying the door back to the Main House)

Shigure- Oh my...

Yuki- I HATE him. I REALLY HATE him.

Kyo- IF ONE MORE WORD COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH YOU'RE GOING OVERBOARD!

Shigure- But-

(Kyo jumped up)

Kyo- THAT'S IT!

Tohru- Kyo-kun, please don't fight with Shigure-san...

(Kyo sat back down)

Kyo- To hell with it.

Shigure- Bwahaha... ^_^

Kyo- WHAT WAS THAT?!

Shigure- Oh nothing... ^_^

Ayame- IT IS VERY COLD OUT HERE! ^_^

Kyo- Quit stating the obvious!

Shigure- Could this get any-

Yuki and Kyo- SHUT IT!!

Shigure- Funnier. That's what I was going to say. Could this get any funnier.

Yuki- THIS IS ANYTHING BUT FUNNY! AKITO IS GOING TO SEE US NAKED AGAIN!

Kyo- AND MY ASS IS TURNING INTO AN ICE CUBE!

Shigure- Oh dear that could be a problem.

BACK AT THE MAIN HOUSE

(Ren was in her room looking out the window)

Ren- I wish something would happen...

(Just then everybody who was on the door came floating by the Main House)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! STOP TIPPING THE DOOR SHIGURE!

Shigure- Sorry! ^_^

(Ren's mouth dropped)

Ren- That's...Shigure, Yuki, Kyo, and Ayame, and...and they're...THEY'RE NAKED! ^_^

(Ren raced over to her bed and grabbed a video camera from under it)

Ren- NO WAY am I going to miss this! ^_^

(Ren began recording Shigure and the others)

Ren- Oh look, that girl Tohru Honda is with them. Boy, I wish I was her right now. But oh well, I'm getting it ALL on tape! Muhaha! ^_^

IN AKITO'S ROOM

(Akito was craning his neck out his window to look at the flooded estate)

Akito- Oh my, that is going to cost a lot of money to repair. I hope Shigure didn't drown.

(Just then, everyone on the door floated by Akito's window)

Akito- SHIGURE AND AYAME?! AND THEY'RE BOTH NAKED! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!! IT'S ALL TOHRU HONDA'S FAULT!! AND- GAAAH!

(Because of all of the water, Akito's window was very slippery. So when he put his hand out on the window sill to get a better look at Tohru and the others, it slipped causing him to fall forward, and out of his window)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(And of course Ren was watching, and got the whole thing on tape)

Ren- OH! OH! AKITO IS FALLING! YEAH! WHOOOO!

(Akito crashed into the water)

Ren- MUAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! MUHA! BWAHAHA! ^_^ Now, back to the naked men! ^_^

MEANWHILE

Shigure- Did I just see what I think I saw?

Ayame- Was that Akito who just fell out of the window?

Kyo- No way. Akito wouldn't fall out of his window...would he?

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I CAN'T SWIM!

Shigure- Yep. That's him. We better go get him before he drowns.

Yuki- Oh god no.

Kyo- You must be insane, Shigure.

Tohru- But Akito-san needs our help...

Akito- BLAHAHAHA! AAAAAAAAAH!! HELP ME! SAVE ME! BLUHBLUHBLAHAHAHA! BLAHBLAH! BLUHBLUH! BLAHAHAHAHAHA! HELP!

Ayame- Looks like he can't swim.

(Akito's head went under the water)

Shigure- GUYS!

Tohru- Please help Akito-san!

Yuki- OH FINE! But only for Honda-san.

Kyo- Only for Tohru.

Tohru- (Blush) Thank you Yuki-kun, and Kyo-kun...

Yuki- LEAN!

(Everyone leaned to the right and the current carried the door to where Akito was thrashing around in the water)

Akito- HELP! AAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Shigure grabbed Akito's arm)

Shigure- It's okay Akito. I got you! ^_^

(Akito looked up and saw the naked Shigure)

Akito- Oh no, it's okay. I'd rather drown. ^_^

Shigure- Don't be silly, we've come to rescue you! ^_^

Ayame- Hop aboard Akito-san! ^_^

Akito- No thanks. Just leave me in the water. I'll learn to swim.

(Despite Akito's protests, Shigure pulled him onto the door)

Akito- I TOLD YOU NO!

Shigure- But Tohru wanted to save you! ^_^

(Tohru looked at Akito and waved)

Tohru- Akito-san! ^_^

Akito- Oh god.

(Tohru scooted a little closer to Akito and Kagura)

Yuki- Honda-san.

(Yuki and Kyo scooted closer to Tohru not wanting her to get to close to Akito)

(Akito looked over his shoulder to see that Tohru was staring at him)

Akito- What do you want?

Tohru- Umm...I just wanted to know if you were okay. That was a pretty high fall...

Akito- I'm fine.

Tohru- Oh.

Akito- Besides I won't be here long. Shigure is going to drop me off at the first telephone pole he sees, isn't that right Shigure?

Shigure- We wouldn't leave you stranded on a phone pole Akito-san! Nobody is THAT heartless! ^_^

Akito- Trust me, a telephone pole is better than sitting here with you.

Tohru- But, there is plenty of room here on the door! You can stay as long as you need! And, and we can talk about things! ^_^

(Akito's eyes began to twitch)

Akito- There's no way in hell.

Yuki- HEY!

Kyo- Don't be rude to Tohru!

Akito- And if I am? What are you going to do about it?

Shigure- Hey hey, let s not fight! ^_^

Akito- Shut up Shigure.

(A few minutes passed, and Akito shivered. He had never gotten to change out of that skimpy outfit, and all he had over it was a robe)

Akito- GOD, IT'S FREAKING FREEZING OUT HERE! I'M FREAKING COLD!

Yuki- YOU'RE COLD?!

Kyo- OH COME ON! WE'RE NAKED, AND YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT THE COLD?! SHUT UP!

Akito- DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUT UP!

Tohru- Please...don't fight...

Akito- Humph. This sucks.

(Suddenly, Akito's face brightened)

Akito- WAIT! I HAVE A CELL PHONE!

(Akito pulled a cell phone out of his pocket)

Akito- YES! ^_^

(Akito tried to turn on his cell, but it wouldn't work)

Akito- DAMMIT! I forgot that this thing got wet! DAMN STUPID PIECE OF-

Shigure- Calm down Akito, we will get out of this soon! ^_^

Yuki- Kyo, is it just me, or is your side of the door sinking?

Kyo- What?

(Kyo looked down to see that part of the door was submerged in water)

Kyo- WHAT THE HELL?! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!

(Yuki glared at Kyo)

Yuki- Perhaps a little orange stupid ass cat poked holes in it WITH HIS CLAWS!

Kyo- IT'S NOT MY FAULT! WE WERE GOING DOWN A HUGE HILL!

Akito- Oh great. Just grand. Now I get to drown surrounded by these idiots.

Shigure- Calm down everyone, nobody is going to drown. It's just a few holes! ^_^

Kyo- Well...

(Suddenly the whole front of the door began to slowly go under the water)

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAH!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE KYO?!

Kagura- Oh my...

Tohru- Ummm...uh...nobody panic!

Akito- And in my will, I leave nothing to anybody on this door. I give my estate to Hatori, and Ajkito goes to Kureno. No, maybe not, he killed my rabbit...

Yuki- WE'RE SINKING!

Kagura- KYO IF WE ARE GOING TO DIE, THEN WE MUST CONFESS OUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW!

Kyo- YEAH RIGHT!

Tohru- Please, please don't panic, I-I'm sure w-w-we'll be j-just fine!

Akito- Maybe I'll leave Ajkito to that nice new servant who acts scared of me all the time. But then there's that one that leaves the cookies on my dresser... Hmmm...

Ayame- YUKI! COME TO ME! I WANT TO DIE HOLDING YOU IN MY ARMS!

Yuki- Hell......no.......

Kyo- If we are going to die, then I have to get this off my chest.

(Kyo scooted closer to Tohru, and kissed her on the lips)

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure and Ayame- Go Kyo, go Kyo! ^_^

Kagura- KYO!

Tohru- (Blush) Uh...uh...uh...uh....oh my goodness...

Kyo- I feel a little better! ^_^

Yuki- I hope you got everything off your chest, because you're going to die right now!

Kagura- AND I'LL HELP!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Shigure- The door seems to be sinking faster.

Akito- Ah, and what about my wardrobe? I think I will leave all of my stuffed animals to that twerp down the road. Oh! And I should make sure that Hatori knows to bury Stinky's pictures and belongings with me...

Ayame- Gure-san, I want you to know that I love you! ^_^

Shigure- I love you too Aaya! ^_^

Ayame- Let us share one last hug! ^_^

Shigure- Of course! ^_^

(Shigure and Ayame hugged each other, while Tohru convinced Yuki and Kagura not to kill Kyo)

Akito- Hmm... who should I leave my limo to? Let s see. How about that nice old lady who brings me breakfast? My death wish is easy because it will always be the same. I wish for my mother to be put in the loony bin for the rest of her life.

Shigure- Akito, do you have any secrets YOU would like to tell before we die?

(Everyone looked at Akito)

Akito- Nope. ^_^

Shigure- Right.

Kyo- Wait! I've got an idea!

Yuki- Save it.

Kyo- But you haven t even heard it yet!

Tohru- Please tell us your idea Kyo-kun! ^_^

Kyo- Okay. Why don't we all move to the side of the door that isn't sinking?

(Everyone was quiet)

Shigure- That sounds good to me.

Akito- Hell no am I scrunching up in that little space with all of you!

(Everyone moved to the other side except for Akito)

Kagura- There is uh...not much room here...

Kyo- Oh god, Yuki can't you move that way a little?

Yuki- No.

Ayame- Please Yuki, do move closer! ^_^

Yuki- NO!

Kagura- Hey, there was a movie like this wasn't there? Where a ship sunk, and the bow, or the front, sunk first? What was it called?

Kyo- How are we supposed to know?

Tohru- Uh Kyo...is that your back?

Kyo- (Blush) Uh....

Tohru- Oh my...

Shigure- Heeheehahaha! ^_^

Yuki- You dirty pervert!

Kyo- THERE IS NO ROOM!

Kagura- It's on the tip of my tongue. Hmm...what was it called? I think it started with a T.

Shigure- Akito, are you coming up here?

Akito- HA!

Shigure- Your end is sinking pretty fast.

Akito- Shut up! I'm concentrating!

Shigure- On what?!

Yuki- You're really just going to sit there and let yourself drown?

Akito- DAMN RIGHT! It's better than coming up there!

Shigure- (Sigh) Akito just come up here.

Akito- NO WAY!

Shigure- Okay.

(A few minutes later, the front end of the door was almost fully submerged, and the water was up to Akito's chest)

Shigure- You wanna come up here now?

Akito- No....I'm....good...

(Shigure sighed, and grabbed Akito's arm, pulling him up on the side with him)

Akito- HEY! I SAID NO!

Shigure- I'm not just going to let you die.

(Akito was practically hugging Shigure)

Akito- (Sigh) Could somebody scoot over a little?

Ayame- I'm afraid there is no room to move around.

Akito- Great. Now I get to be squished against you.

Shigure- Bwahaha... ^_^

(Everyone was silent)

Kagura- TITANIC!

Yuki- GAAAH!

(The door tipped as everyone jumped from Kagura's sudden outburst)

Kyo- DON'T DO THAT!

Kagura- That was the name of the movie, and the ship, Titanic! I remembered! ^_^

Kyo- And? That's not going to save us!

Kagura- I was just saying that our situation is similar. But in the movie, bow broke off from the stern.

(Suddenly there was a loud snap, and the front of the door broke in half, and sank, leaving only a small piece of door left)

Kyo- What in the hell?

Kagura- Okay, that's weird.

Tohru- Kagura, in the movie Titanic, did that last piece of the ship stay up?

Kagura- Actually, no, it ended up tipping forward and sinking.

Tohru- Oh....

Akito- Well we seem to be fine for now.

Kyo- I feel water!

Yuki- Me too!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAH! WE REALLY ARE GOING TO DIE!

Kagura- It's okay, it's not like we tipped forward.

(The piece of door began to tip)

Kagura- OH MY GOD!

Akito- (Sigh) If my body is ever found, make sure that they bury me next to Stinky.

Ayame- I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Tohru- Everyone needs to stay calm!

(Akito reached up to Shigure's ear)

Akito- (Whispering) Before we die, I think that you should know, I didn't sleep with Bobby.

Shigure- WHAT?!

Kyo- SHIGURE, STOP THAT! DON'T TIP IT EVEN MORE!

(Shigure looked down at Akito)

Shigure- I guess that's somewhat of a relief.

Akito- Good, because were sinking faster.

Yuki- Look over there! It's a tree! I think we can swim to it!

Kyo- You're right.

Yuki- Okay. Since we can't hold onto Honda-san, Kagura, you're going to have to hold on to her, and Kyo and I, will hold on to you.

Kagura- No point in arguing.

(Kagura grabbed Tohru's hand)

Yuki- Alright. Shigure, Ayame you make sure Akito is okay.

Ayame- Yes dearest brother! ^_^

(Shigure and Ayame grabbed Akito)

Akito- Oh great.

(The door began to go down)

Yuki- Everyone, take a deep breath!

(Everyone took a deep breath, and went under the water, but soon came back up to the surface)

Akito- BLAHAHAHA! BLUHBLAH BLUHBLAH! BLAHA (Choke) BLUH!

Shigure- Yuki told you to hold your breath!

Akito- I DID! BUT SOME IDIOT KICKED ME IN THE CHEST, AND I COULDN'T HOLD MY BREATH ANYMORE!

Shigure- Well who did that?

Ayame- Oops! ^_^

Akito- Are you trying to kill me?

Yuki- The current is getting stronger, everyone push yourselves! Get to that tree!

Kagura- BLAH! THAT WATER TASTES- BLAHAHA!

Kyo- DON'T TALK!

Tohru- (Choke) (Choke) Yucky water!

(A few minutes later, everyone made it to the tree)

Yuki- Hold on Honda-san.

Tohru- Yes.

Kyo- Think of all of the splinters...

Kagura- God it's cold.

Kyo- SHUT UP!

Kagura- Oh, right.

Akito- I take back what I said, Shigure.

Shigure- Too bad. ^_^

Akito- I HATE YOU!

Ayame- I know just what we can do to lighten up the mood! ^_^

Yuki- Oh god, here we go.

Shigure- What is your awesome idea Aaya? ^_^

Ayame- LETS SING A SONG! ^_^

Akito- Oh no.

Shigure- OKAY! ^_^

Kyo- IF YOU EVEN TRY, WE WILL THROW YOU OFF THIS TREE!

Ayame- Oh, you're no fun!

(An hour later)

Kyo- I'm on a warm beach, the sun is hitting my back and warming me up.

Yuki- What the hell are you doing?

Kyo- TRYING NOT TO BE SO FREAKING COLD!

Tohru- If you want, I can let you wear my sweater Kyo-kun.

Kyo- Huh? No way. I don't want you to get sick.

Tohru- But you look so cold.

Kyo- Really Tohru, it's okay. I'm so numb I can't even feel the cold anymore! ^_^

Tohru- Uh...okay...

Akito- OH MY GOSH IS THAT A BOAT?!

(Everyone looked in the direction of Akito's eyes, and saw Kureno coming up to them in a boat)

Yuki- YES! ^_^

Kyo- THAT IS A BOAT! HURRAY, WE'RE SAVED! ^_^

Akito- HURRAY FOR KURENO! ^_^

Shigure- Hurray...

Ayame- BACK TO MY SHOP I GO! ^_^

Yuki- WARMTH! ^_^

Kyo- CLOTHES! ^_^

Kagura- FOOD! ^_^

Kyo- Food?

Kagura- I haven't eaten anything since breakfast!

Kyo- Oh...

Tohru- This is great! ^_^

Kureno- Anyone need a ride? ^_^ Wait, why are all the guys naked? Oh...

Akito- I GET TO GO BACK TO THE MAIN HOUSE! ^_^

(Everyone climbed into the boat)

Shigure- I hope there is no damage to my house...

AT AROUND THE SAME TIME

(Hatsuharu uses Isuzu's computer)

--BlackIsMyColor logs on--

BlackIsMyColor- Hmm... I wonder why no one else is online...

--BubbleDragon logs on--

BubbleDragon- Haru? There is a terrible storm outside, have you been able to get in contact with anyone?

BlackIsMyColor- No. I'm stuck at Rin's house, it's really flooded.

BubbleDragon- Believe me, it's worse over here.

BlackIsMyColor- Shit I hope my house is okay.

BubbleDragon- The whole estate is going crazy because we can't find Akito anywhere!

BlackIsMyColor- Seriously, how do you lose that guy? Does he just disappear in a puff of smoke whenever he wants too?

BubbleDragon- Sometimes it seems like that...

BlackIsMyColor- Well, I gotta go Rin is waiting for me.

BubbleDragon- Use protection.

BlackIsMyColor- What?

--BubbleDragon logs off--

BlackIsMyColor- Stupid doctor...

--BlackIsMyColor logs off--

**A/N: Wow, the longest one yet. I hope that if you did not listen to me and drank something while you read this, it did not get all over your computer when you spit it out. ^_^ Thank you my friends, and read and review. It s easy, just click the button and tell me what you thought. Thanks again. ^_^**


	40. Chapter 40: Dinner And A Show

**A/N: Hey guys sorry for the holdup in this story. This chapter is freaking long so I hope it was worth the wait. It's also kinda funny. (Hopefully alot funny ^_^) Enjoy the latest chapter of The Fruits Basket Chatroom Story!! I do not own Furuba...**

**---**

**Chapter 40: Dinner And A Show**

**---**

--CheeseMan logs on--

--ILOVEKYO logs on--

CheeseMan- That was quite an episode that occurd yesterday...

ILOVEKYO- Yep. I can't believe Akito fell out of his window!

CheeseMan- I thought that it was pretty amusing. ^_^

--FishFan logs on--

--Luvpuppy logs on--

Luvpuppy- So, does everyone like the new clothes I bought them? ^_^

FishFan- They suck.

CheeseMan- I agree with the stupid cat.

FishFan- Watch yourself.

Luvpuppy- You two are so cruel!

CheeseMan and Fishfan- Oh well.

ILOVEKYO- Kyo's been working out! ^_^

FishFan- Huh?

CheeseMan- That was random.

Luvpuppy- How would you know that Kagura?

ILOVEKYO- Well...haha...yesterday...

FishFan- Don't you even start!

--Onigiri logs on--

Onigiri- Hello Kyo-kun, and Yuki-kun! ^_^

Luvpuppy and ILOVEKYO- What about me?

Onigiri- OH! I'm sorry Shigure-san, and Kagura-san!

ILOVEKYO- It's okay Tohru! ^_^

--BlackIsMyColor logs on--

BlackIsMyColor- WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE?!

FishFan- Oh shit.

BlackIsMyColor- MY WHOLE FREAKING HOUSE IS FREAKING FLOODED!

Onigiri- Oh my goodness...

Luvpuppy- What did you guys do to Hatsuharu?

CheeseMan- He was going to find out sooner or later. Better start talking Kyo.

FishFan- ME?!

BlackIsMyColor- SOMEBODY BETTER START TALKING! AND WHO SMASHED MY FREAKING STEREO?! THAT THING COST 400 FUCKING DOLLARS!

FishFan- It was all Kagura! ^_^

ILOVEKYO- WHAT?!

CheeseMan- That's a lie. Everything was Kyo's fault. If you hadn't hit Kagura with a bat-

Luvpuppy- YOU HIT HER WITH A BAT?!

FishFan- IT WAS PLASTIC!

ILOVEKYO- It still hurt...

FishFan- OH PLEASE!

Luvpuppy- That is no way to treat your girlfriend Kyo.

FishFan- SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!

BlackIsMyColor- SHUT ALL YOUR DAMN MOUTHS! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HOUSE AND STEREO! AND WHERE THE HELL IS MY FRONT DOOR?!

CheeseMan- As I was saying, Kyo hit Kagura with a plastic bat, and she hit her head on your stereo. That is where the dent came from. As for the water damage, Kyo had this bright idea to break down your door.

BlackIsMyColor- WHY?!

FishFan- Because we were stuck in your house.

BlackIsMyColor- WHAT WERE YOU EVEN DOING IN MY HOUSE?! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

FishFan- YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR SMART MOUTH!

BlackIsMyColor- OR WHAT?!

CheeseMan- Honda-san and I came to your house to rescue Kyo who thought he had been attacked by Chucky.

Luvpuppy- Who's Chucky?

BlackIsMyColor- WELL HE IS GOING TO PAY FOR ALL OF THE DAMAGES SO MUAHAHA! AND IF HE DOESN'T, I'LL KILL HIM!!

FishFan- Oh you will?

BlackIsMyColor- YEAH!

Luvpuppy- Hey, is somebody going to tell me who Chucky is?

CheeseMan- A crazy killer doll with knives.

Luvpuppy- EGH! WHAT KIND OF THINGS ARE YOU WATCHING ON TV?!

CheeseMan- Well it was a marithon.

BlackIsMyColor- HEY ASSHOLES LISTEN UP! Kyo, you're going to get your orange ass up here and fix my house, and Yuki is going to help.

CheeseMan- Ha.

FishFan- I ain't cleaning your house.

BlackIsMyColor- YOU STUPID SHIT WIPE! YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID!

--BlackIsMyColor logs off--

ILOVEKYO- Kyo, I think you should go clean up his house. You did cause the damage...

FishFan- Since when did _YOU_ start giving orders?! I ain't doing nothing for that punk.

CheeseMan- You never learn do you?

FishFan- SHUT UP YOU DAMN RAT! NOBODY ASKED FOR _YOUR _OPINION!

Onigiri- Kyo, please don't fight with Yuki.

Luvpuppy- You guys should listen to Tohru more, she knows best! ^_^

CheeseMan- Yes, she does. ^_^

FishFan- Sorry Tohru...

Onigiri- Oh, you don't have to apologize...

ILOVEKYO- Kyo, do you want to go eat dinner with me? ^_^

Luvpuppy- That was random...

FishFan- There's no way in-

Onigiri- Why don't we all go out to dinner tonight?

ILOVEKYO- OKAY! ^_^

CheeseMan- Sounds good to me.

FishFan- As long as I don't have to sit by Kagura...

ILOVEKYO- What was that?

FishFan- Nothing! ^_^

Onigiri- What about you Shigure-san? Do you want to come eat dinner with us?

Luvpuppy- You know I'd love to, but I can't, I have work to do.

Onigiri- Oh, okay...

Luvpuppy- But, you guys go have fun, don't let me stop you! ^_^

CheeseMan- You're up to something.

Luvpuppy- What ever gave you THAT idea?

FishFan- Come on Tohru, lets go eat.

Onigiri- Okay. ^_^

CheeseMan- Watch yourself stupid cat, Honda-san is MY date.

FishFan- Huh?

ILOVEKYO- AND I WILL BE KYO'S DATE!!! ^_^

Onigiri- Okay. ^_^

FishFan- WHAT?! HELL NO! Tohru is going to be my date!

CheeseMan- No. You're going with Kagura, I'm going with Honda-san!

Onigiri- Okay. ^_^

FishFan- YOU CAN HAVE KAGURA! And Tohru, stop agreeing to everything that the damn CheeseMuncher says!

Onigiri- Oh, okay....I'm sorry......

Luvpuppy- This is fun to watch! ^_^

CheeseMan- We will decide this when we get to the restaurant.

ILOVEKYO- That sounds okay to me.

FishFan- I'm buying Tohru's dinner. ^_^

ILOVEKYO- But...wouldn't you want to buy MY dinner?

FishFan- Not really.

Luvpuppy- OOH OOH! THAT WAS THE _WRONG_ THING TO SAY!!!

ILOVEKYO- BUT I_** LOVE**_ YOU KYO!! I'LL _**GET**_ YOU!

--ILOVEKYO logs off--

CheeseMan- You've done it now.

FishFan- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! OH NO!

--FishFan logs off--

Luvpuppy- There is NO WAY I'm gonna miss THIS one! ^_^

--Luvpuppy logs off--

CheeseMan- Maybe, we should tell Kagura and Kyo the wrong restraunt to go to...

Onigiri- That would be mean Yuki...

CheeseMan- You're right. Can I have the honor of taking the beautiful princess as my date to the restaurant?

Onigiri- Of course you may. ^_^

CheeseMan- Alright, lets go get ready.

--CheeseMan logs off--

--Onigiri logs off--

AN HOUR LATER

Yuki- Thanks to Kyo's lousy directions, we're late to dinner.

Kyo- Hey it's not my fault! Somebody could of told me that the map was upside down...

Yuki- WE DID! YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT TO BELIEVE US!

Kyo- SHUT UP!

Kagura- Come on Kyo, lets go sit at the pretty red table. ^_^

Kyo- (Scowling) Why does it matter?

(Kagura squeezed Kyo's arm)

Kagura- Because I...want...the...red...table!

Kyo- Okay okay! Just stop squeezing my arm!

Kagura- Yay! ^_^

(Everyone sat down at the red table and a waiter brought them some menus)

Yuki- What are you going to order Honda-san?

Tohru- Oh, I really don't know. It's all so expensive!

Kyo- Don't worry about the price Tohru. You're my date, so I'm going to pay for you. ^_^

Yuki- I'm paying for Honda-san, and no she is not your date, she's mine.

Kyo- But-

Tohru- Sorry Kyo-kun, but I told Yuki I would be his date...

Kyo- But-

Tohru- I promise that I'll go with you next time, okay?

Kyo- But-

Kagura- Don't worry Kyo, you can pay for my dinner....okay? ^_^

Kyo- (Sigh) Oh fine...

Kagura- (Whispering) YES! SCORE!

Tohru- I KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO ORDER!

Yuki- What do you want Honda-san?

Tohru- THE SALAD!

Kyo- Tohru, the salad is the cheapest thing on the menu.

Tohru- That.....has nothing to do with it......I like salads.....really...

Yuki- Honda-san, please, feel free to order ANYTHING on the menu.

Tohru- Uh....okay....um....the soup looks good...

Yuki- Okay. ^_^

Kagura- I want this whole side of the menu! ^_^

Kyo- WHAT?! NO WAY! YOU GET ONE THING!

Kagura- But...what about dessert?

Kyo- (Sigh) One thing, and dessert...

Kagura- HURRAY!! ^_^

(Suddenly the door to the restaurant opened, and Hatsuharu and Rin walked in)

Kyo- OH SHIT!

Yuki- What are the chances?

Haru- IT'S YOU GUYS!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Kyo jumped up, ready to bolt if Haru made a run at him)

(Rin grabbed Haru's arm)

Rin- Haru.

(Haru looked at Rin and crossed his arms)

Haru- Alright. I'll wait until after dinner to kick his ass.

Rin- Thank you Haru.

Tohru- I'll go get some more chairs! ^_^

(Tohru pulled up two more chairs to the table)

Tohru- Rin, Haru, will you eat with us? ^_^

Haru- Okay.

Rin- Whatever.

Tohru- Oh...um...if you don't want to then-

Rin- It's fine.

Tohru- Okay. ^_^

(Rin and Haru sat down at the table, and Kyo slowly sat back down in his seat, still watching Haru closely)

Tohru- This is going to be fun! ^_^

Kyo- If you say so.

Yuki- I'm sure that we will have a great time Honda-san. ^_^

(The door to the restaurant swung open)

Kyo- What in the hell?

(Ayame and Mine strutted into the restaurant)

Haru- Oh dear.

Rin- Great. More people.

Yuki- HUH?!

Kyo- AW HELL!

(Ayame spotted Yuki and waved)

Ayame- DEAREST BROTHER!!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

Yuki- Oh god.

(Ayame rushed over to Yuki and hugged him)

Ayame- I LOVE YOU YUKI!! ^_^

Yuki- LET GO OF ME!!

(Ayame rushed over to the waiter)

Ayame- Waitor?

Waiter- Yes?

Ayame- Pull another table over to that one posthaste!

Waiter- What table?

(Ayame pointed to Yuki)

Ayame- The table where the dashing young fellow sits! ^_^

Yuki- Oh no.

(The waiter pulled another table up to the on everyone was sitting at, and Ayame and Mine sat down with the others)

Ayame- SO! How have you been little brother? ^_^

Yuki- I was fine until YOU came here!

Ayame- Oh, you're such a joker Yuki! Hahahahahahaha! ^_^

Kyo- At least Shigure isn't here...

(Suprisingly, the door opened again and Shigure walked in, with Akito behind him)

Shigure- I'm telling you Akito this is a good restraunt and- oh my...

Akito- What? What is it?

(Akito saw everyone sitting at the table)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Akito dived into the bushes)

Akito- Don't let them see me! What will they think if they see us together?!

Shigure- Nothing, as long as you stop acting like that.

(Akito stood up)

Akito- Who all is in there? I really didn't get a good look at them.

Shigure- Ayame, Mine, Rin, Hatsuharu, Kagura, Yuki, Kyo, Tohru-

Akito- Good-bye, I'm not going.

(Akito began to walk off, but Shigure grabbed his arm)

Shigure- Lets go eat Akito! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! UNHAND ME!

(Ayame was the first to spot Shigure. He jumped up and waved)

Ayame- GURE-SAN! GURE-SAN! ^_^

Shigure- AAYA! AAYA! ^_^

Yuki- Eh?

(Everyone turned to see Akito and Shigure walk into the restaurant)

Kyo- Oh hell no.

Yuki- Why does he have Akito with him?

Tohru- Akito-san and Shigure-san! ^_^

Ayame- Gure-san, please come sit and eat with us! ^_^

Yuki- No.

Kyo- No.

Tohru- Akito can come too! ^_^

(The waiter glances over at everyone)

Waiter- Oh no, there's more of them. It's only a matter of time before-

Ayame- WAITER! ANOTHER TABLE PLEASE! And some more chairs as well! ^_^

Waiter- (Sigh) I knew it...

(The waiter pulled another table up to the other two tables)

Waiter- Here you go! ^_^ (Whispering) I hope they leave a BIG tip on each one of those tables...

(Akito and Shigure sat down)

Shigure- So, what is everybody ordering?

Ayame- Ramen! ^_^

Mine- Oh yes, ramen sounds very good. ^_^

Hatsuharu- Chicken.

Rin- I think I'll have the chicken too...

Tohru- Soup!

Kyo- Ear plugs.

Shigure- I don't think that would taste very good...

Kyo- NOT TO EAT, YOU IDIOT!!

Shigure- Kyo eats ear plugs! Kyo eats ear plugs! ^_^ Oh well, what are you ordering Yuki?

Yuki- Headache medicine.

Shigure- I don't see that on the menu anywhere...

Yuki- Oh shut up.

Akito- All of you are morons.

(The door opened again, and Hiro and Kisa walked into the restaurant hand in hand)

(Shigure saw them and waved)

Shigure- IT'S KISA AND HIRO!!! ^_^

Hiro- ACK!

Kyo- (Snickering) I'll bet the punk's embarrassed as hell. Bwahaha... ^_^

Tohru- (Gasp) Did you bring Kisa here on a date, Hiro? YOUR FIRST DATE!! ^_^

Ayame- Come here little ones, and let us all eat together! ^_^

Hiro- Let's go Kisa. We'll find another place to go to.

Kisa- But, Hiro-chan, I would like it very much if we could eat with Onee-chan and the others...

(Hiro took one look at Kisa and gave up)

Hiro- If you want to eat with those losers...

Kyo- WHO ARE YOU CALLING LOSERS?!

Yuki- (Sigh) I can already tell that this is going to be a very loud dinner...

Kisa- Oh, thank you Hiro-chan! ^_^

(Kisa gave Hiro a peck on the cheek, and Hiro turned every shade of red)

(Shigure and Ayame glanced at each other with a devilish grin on their face. Yuki saw it and began to panic)

Yuki- Oh no. Please don't make a scene, there are a lot of people here and-

Shigure and Ayame- HIRO AND KISA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!!!! ^_^

(Everyone stared)

Akito- (Through grit teeth) What the hell are you doing Shigure? People are staring! Ahaha, nothing to see over here! ^_^

Yuki- If you ever do that again Shigure, I will personally kick your ass.

Shigure- Ooh, Yuki-kun is so scary! ^_^

Yuki- Grrr...

(Kisa finally dragged Hiro over to the table)

Kisa- Hello.....everyone..... ^_^

Tohru- HELLO KISA! ^_^

Hiro- Hi.

Tohru- HELLO HIRO! ^_^

Haru- Yo.

Yuki- Hi.

Kyo- Ngh...

Shigure- Hola. ^_^

Akito- Gag me.

Ayame- Hahahahaha! ^_^

Rin- Okay...

Kagura- Hello. Kyo is my boyfriend.

Akito- Oh is he?

Kyo- I AM NOT!

Kagura- WHAT WAS THAT LOVE?!

Yuki- Here we go.

(Ayame stood up and brought two more chairs to the table for Hiro and Kisa. He patted the seats)

Ayame- Sit, sit.

(Hiro and Kisa sat down)

Hiro- This sucks. I wanted to be alone with you, Kisa.

Kyo- I'm sure you did, twerp.

Hiro- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!

Tohru- Everyone stay calm...

Akito- I hope no more people show up...

(The door to the restaurant opened yet again, and Hatori and Momiji stood in the door way. Everyone looked and saw them)

Shigure and Ayame- HATORI! ^_^

(Hatori took one look at Ayame and Shigure, and without saying a word, shut the door to the restaurant)

Shigure- HE HATES US!

Ayame- STUPID TORI-SAN!

(The door opened two seconds later, and Momiji was dragging Hatori over to the table)

Momiji- Come on Hatori, lets go eat!

Hatori- No.

Momiji- I wanna eat with Tohru, I wanna eat with Tohru!

Hatori- No.

Momiji- Please Hatori?

Hatori- Fine. I'm not going to argue with you all night.

Momiji- YAY! ^_^

(Momiji rushed over to Tohru and the others)

Momiji- Tohru! Tohru! ^_^

Tohru- Hello Momiji. ^_^

Kyo- Oh no. Not TWO little brats.

Hiro- Two? I hope you're not talking about me, you loser!

Kyo- WHO YOU CALLING A-

Yuki- Kyo, shut up.

Kyo- Oh yeah? And if I don't?

(Tohru touched Kyo's arm)

Tohru- Please don't fight with each other...

Kyo- (Sigh) Alright Tohru, I'm sorry...

Akito- I have a headache.

(Ayame grabbed two more chairs, and Hatori and Momiji sat down)

Momiji- So, how have you been Tohru? Do you like it here? I like it here! Did the food already come? No? Well then what did you order? Cause I'm ordering whatever you're ordering! ^_^

Tohru- Uh...

(Kyo put his hands over his ears)

Kyo- Oh, shut up!

Momiji- Who's gonna make me? ^_^

Kyo- Oh, you are SO lucky that you're sitting at the other end of the table!

Momiji- Hahahahaha!

Yuki- Everyone in the zodiac is here...well except for Kureno....

Shigure- Thank goodness!

(Once again, the door to the restaurant opened, and much to everyone's suprise, Kureno and Arisa walked in, and they were holding hands)

Kureno- Oh shit.

Akito- What in the hell?!

Shigure- AAAAAAAH! NOOOOOOOOO!

Arisa- Oh, hey look, it's Tohru! Hey Tohru!

Tohru- (Gasp) ARISA-SAN! ^_^

Arisa- And there's The Prince, and Orange Top!

Kyo- Oh great, the Yankee's here...

Ayame- WAITER! WE NEED ANOTHER TABLE! ^_^

Waiter- ANOTHER ONE?! I mean, uh, I'm coming! ^_^

Ayame- Such wonderful service here!

Akito- Why in the world is Kureno holding that girls hand?!

(The waiter brought another table up, and Kureno and Arisa sat down)

(Arisa points to Shigure)

Arisa- It's the Creepy Novel Writing Guy!

Shigure- Hello Arisa. ^_^ Hello...Kureno...

Kureno- Hahaha...hi...

Yuki- Wow, there sure is a lot of people here tonight.

Kyo- Too many people, I'd say.

Hiro- Shut up. You are so annoying. Nobody asked what you thought, loser.

Yuki- I think I agree with Hiro on this one.

Kyo- YOU WANNA START SOMETHING RAT BOY?!

Hiro- (Scowling) Look at you. You want to start a fight at everything Yuki says. You're so immature.

Kyo- I'LL KILL YOU PUNK!

Hiro- Oh you will? MURDERER! HELP! HE'S THREATENING ME!

Kisa- Hiro, people are staring...

Tohru- Oh my...

Hiro- I don't care.

Haru- Hiro, shut it, and order something off the menu.

Hiro- Who's paying?

Ayame- I WILL!

Shigure- No, no Aaya, just leave it to me. ^_^

Ayame- If you insist.

(Shigure turned to Akito)

Shigure- Akito, will YOU pay for the dinner? You have the most money! ^_^

Akito- I'm not eating anything, therefore, I'm not paying for anything.

Shigure- You're not eating? Well why not?

Akito- I'm not hungry.

Shigure- Liar. That soup looks good, why don't you have that?

Akito- That does look kinda good...but I'm still not paying!

Shigure- Aww, man...

Rin- Man, everybody from the zodiac is here, plus Akito, and Tohru's friend. Who else could show up?

(Upon Rin's words, Ritsu walked into the restaurant)

(He stood there for a moment in shock before screaming)

Ritsu- OH MY GOD I HAVE JUST BARGED IN ON EVERYONE'S DINNER! AAAAAAAH!

Yuki- (Sigh)

(Ritsu rushes out, but as soon as he does, Ren walks in)

Akito- (Gasp) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Everyone jumped at Akito's scream)

Shigure- What is it Akito?

Tohru- What is wrong Akito-san?

Akito- IT'S...IT'S...IT'S THAT WOMAN!!!

(Everyone looked up to see Ren strutting over to them)

Ren- Why hello everyone. Kyo, Yuki, you've grown so much.

Akito- THEY'RE IN HIGHSCHOOL YOU LUNATIC!!

Ren- I know. ^_^

(Ren walked up to the waiter)

Ren- Waiter, do you have anymore chairs? I'm with them.

(Ren pointed to Akito and the others)

Akito- WHAT?! HELL NO! SHE IS NOT WITH US! NO WAY!!

(The waiter shook his head)

Waiter- I'm sorry Miss, but-

Akito- MISS?!

Waiter- We are all out of chairs.

Akito- HA!

(Ren shrugged)

Ren- Oh well.

(Ren walked over to the others, and sat on Hatori's lap)

Ren- I don't need a chair. ^_^

Hatori- Uh...

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! GET OFF OF HATORI!! I'LL KILL YOU!

(Shigure held Akito back)

Shigure- Hahaha, you are so funny Akito. Quit playing around, people are staring. ^_^

Akito- HATORI! TELL HER TO GET OFF OF YOU!

Hatori- Ren-san, could you please-

Ren- You don't have to listen to Akito, Hatori. I know you like me sitting on your lap.

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(The waiter rushed up with a chair)

Waiter- We found an extra chair! ^_^

(Ren got off of Hatori, and sat down in the chair)

Ren- Thank you. ^_^

Waiter- Can I please have what you are going to order?

Shigure- Egg rolls! ^_^

Ayame- Ramen! ^_^

Mine- Ramen for me as well! ^_^

Akito- Soup...

Waiter- What kind of soup would you like, sir?

Akito- I don't care. Whatever kind you have left.

Waiter- Okay...

Haru- I'm having the chicken.

Rin- Me too.

Kagura- Hmmm. I think I want the rice balls...

Kyo- (Whispering) Good. Something cheap. ^_^

Kagura- And to go with it I want-

Kyo- Wait, what?!

Kagura- I would also like some egg rolls, and some lettuce raps.

Waiter- Okay. ^_^

Kyo- Oh no...

Waiter- Anyone else?

Tohru- Tomato soup. ^_^

Hatori- I'll have a salad.

Momiji- I want a salad like Ha'ri too! ^_^

Arisa- SOBA! ^_^

Kureno- I would like some of the bread sticks, and some soba.

Kyo- I'll have samon.

Yuki- I'll have some miso soup, and leeks.

Kyo- DISGUSTING!

Kisa- I would like some stewed leeks...

Kyo- YOU'RE ALL INSANE!!

Hiro- YOU LEAVE KISA ALONE! I'm having what Kisa is having.

Ren- I want some soba, some ramen, leek soup, egg rolls, and chicken. ^_^

Akito- OH HELL NO! YOU'RE PAYING FOR YOUR OWN DINNER!!

Ren- We will see.

Akito- AGH!

(After a few minutes of waiting, the waiter brought all of the food)

Tohru- It all looks so delicious! ^_^

Shigure- Oh boy, oh boy! ^_^

(Akito glanced down at his bowl of soup. The waiter had given him tomato soup, he was about to take a bite when Tohru clapped her hands)

Tohru- Oh, Akito-san and I ordered the same thing! ^_^

(Akito glanced at Tohru's bowl. Then he remembered her ordering tomato soup. He put his spoon down)

Akito- I did NOT order the same thing as you, Tohru Honda.

Tohru- But-

Akito- I DID NOT!!

(Tohru jumps)

Tohru- Okay...

Akito- Hmph, that's better.

Shigure- But they're both tomato soup, Akito-san. That means you did order the same thing. ^_^

Akito- Mine is NOT tomato soup.

Shigure- Then what is it?

Akito- Shut up, or I'm going to hit you, hard.

Shigure- Shutting up. ^_^

(Akito poked at his soup)

Shigure- Aren't you going to eat?

Akito- No. I will not eat the same thing as Tohru Honda.

Shigure- But you just said that you ordered something different.

(Akito flicked some of the soup at Shigure)

Akito- Leave me alone, and shut up.

Shigure- MY NEW WHITE SHIRT!

Kyo- Bwahaha, look at Shigure's shirt! ^_^

(Shigure glared a Kyo)

Shigure- Oh yeah? Well look at YOUR shirt.

(Kyo looked down to see his shirt spottless)

Kyo- There is nothing on it! ^_^

(Shigure threw his juice on Kyo's shirt)

Shigure- Now there is! ^_^

Yuki- (Choke) (Choke) Hahahahaha! ^_^

Arisa- Orange Top has an orange shirt to match his hair! ^_^

Hiro- WHAT A LOSER! Muahahaha! ^_^

Kyo- YOU'RE DEAD SHIGURE!!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(Kyo threw his samon at Shigure, but Shigure ducked and it hit Akito instead)

Kyo- Uh oh...

Ren- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Choke) (Wheeze) MUAHAHAHA! MUHA MUHA MUHA! ^_^

Akito- BLAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!!

Kyo- I didn't mean to-

(Akito picked up his bowl of soup)

Akito- I HATE YOU KYO!

(Akito threw his soup at Kyo and it went all over his clothes and face)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- BLAAAH!

Yuki- Bwahaha! ^_^

Arisa- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ORANGE TOP IS COVERED IN TOMATO SOUP! MUAHAHA! ^_^

Kyo- Oh yeah Yankee?

Arisa- AHAHA! AHAHA! ^_^

(Kyo picked up Yuki's drink and tossed in on Arisa)

Kureno- HEY!

Tohru- (Gasp) Arisa-san!

Yuki- MY DRINK!

(Arisa stood up, her soba in her hands)

Arisa- YOU ARE SO GOING TO GET IT!

(Arisa made a grab for Kyo, but Kyo ran off in the direction of the boys bathroom, but Arisa still followed)

Arisa- GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Arisa- You think I'm afraid to follow you into the guys restroom?! HA!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE!

Arisa- TAKE THIS!!

Kyo- BLAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA! BLUHAAAHAAA!

Tohru- Oh my, I hope he is okay...

Yuki- Waiter, can I have another drink please?

Waiter- Certainly, sir.

(After the waiter brought Yuki his drink, Arisa came back with Kyo, who was covered with soba noodles)

Arisa- I got him! ^_^

Kyo- Shut up...

Yuki- Hahaha...

Kyo- SHUT UP RAT BOY!

(After a few more laughs from Yuki and some othe people at the table, everyone began eating in silence)

Shigure- (Thinking) I guess the fight is over now...darn...

(Suddenly, Ren picked up one of her egg rolls and threw it at Akito. It hit him in the face, and he fell out of his chair in shock)

Akito- WAH! (Crash) Owww....

Shigure- Uh oh...

Ren- THAT, was for starting the food fight at Thanksgiving. Muhaha... ^_^

(Akito jumped back up)

Akito- WHY YOU!

(Shigure and Ayame slowly began to go under the table)

Shigure- I saw this coming. I did, I really did.

Ayame- Time to take cover! ^_^

(Hatori stood up)

Hatori- Akito, put the plate down. Ren was just joking. Right?

Ren- I was not joking. I meant everything. Akito is a snobby little brat.

Yuki- Oh no...

Shigure- Here is comes.

(Akito jumped across the table and tackled Ren)

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Ren- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

(The two began fighting, and Hatori tried, but failed, to brake them up. Shigure and Ayame were sitting under the table, with some food they had brought)

Shigure- Say, Aaya, want to get this food fight up and running again?

Ayame- Sure thing Gure-san! ^_^

(Shigure and Ayame began throwing their food around, hoping that they would hit somebody)

Shigure- Anytime now...

(Shigure tossed a tomato up into the air and sure enough, it hit somebody)

Kyo- GAH!! EWWW!!

(Shigure and Ayame high fived each other)

Shigure and Ayame- YES! ^_^

Kyo- WHO THE HELL THREW THAT!!

Yuki- Bwahaha! You have tomato on you everywhere!

(Kyo glared at Yuki)

Kyo- So it was you, huh? Well, I can play like that too, you cheese crazed freak!

(Kyo picked up some ramen a flung it at Yuki)

Yuki- What are you talking- BLAH!!

Kyo- Hahaha, that will teach you to throw things at- GAAAAHAAAAHAAAA! COLD!

(When Kyo wasn't looking, Yuki had grabbed some ice water and poured it down his shirt)

Kyo- OH NOW YOU'RE REALLY GONNA PAY!

(While Kyo and Yuki began to fight, Hiro and Kisa sat under the table trying not to get hit by food)

Kisa- I'm scared Hiro-chan...

Hiro- Don't worry Kisa, I'll protect you.

(Hiro began throwing some food at Kyo)

Hiro- But, I'm not going to miss out on all of the fun! ^_^

Kyo- GAH! WHO THREW THAT BREAD ROLL?!

(Hiro ducked back down)

Hiro- Muahaha! ^_^

(Meanwhile, Haru and Rin were playfully throwing bits of food at each other, when, aiming for Yuki, Kyo threw some chicken in his direction)

Yuki- GAAAAH!

(Yuki ducked just in time, and unfortunatly for Kyo, the chicken hit Haru in the face)

Kyo- OH CRAP!!

(Haru slowly stood up, wiping chicken off of his face)

Haru- Hehehehe....

Kyo- Uh...uh...uh...

Tohru- Ummm...

Kagura- Poor Kyo-kun...

Momiji- Kyo's in trouble...

Kyo- I didn't mean to hit you Haru....I swear...

(Tohru and Momiji knew what was coming next, they slowly went under the table)

Haru- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

Yuki- Serves him right. ^_^

(As Haru chased Kyo around the restaurant, Shigure grabbed some ketchup from another table and poured the whole bottle in Kureno's lap)

Kureno- ACK! HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!

Shigure- You know what that was for.

(Kureno picked up his food and threw at Shigure)

Kureno- HA! ^_^

(Shigure tackled Kureno)

Shigure- I'LL KILL YOU!

Kureno- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

Ayame- Gure-san, enjoy your fight with Kureno, I will be right back. ^_^

Shigure- Okay. ^_^

Kureno- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Kureno dashed away, so Shigure just went back to throwing things at people from under the table)

(Just then the door to the restaurant opened, and Bobby walked in with a big smile on his face)

Bobby- Akito, I have wonderful news! ^_^

(Akito looked up from his fight with Ren, which he had won, because Ren was pinned down unable to move)

Akito- Bobby?

Ren- Get off of me!

Akito- No. Bobby what are you doing here?

(Shigure jumped up from under the table)

Shigure- Bobby?!

(Kagura threw a orange in Tohru's direction, but since Shigure jumped up, it hit him instead)

Shigure- Where is Bob- AGH!

(The orange hit Shigure right in the chest, and he fell down to the floor)  
Kureno- Hahaha. ^_^

Kagura- Oh, sorry Shigure-san!

Shigure- It....is....okay.... ^_^

(Akito let Ren up and walked over to Bobby)

Akito- What is your good news Bobby?

Bobby- I fixed Ajkito! ^_^

Akito- HURRAY! HURRAY! ^_^

(Ayame returned to the table with a tray full of pies, cakes, jello, ice cream, and milk shakes)

Ayame- I've got desserts! ^_^

Akito- YAY DESSERT! ^_^ Will you come eat dessert with us Bobby?

Bobby- Of course. ^_^

(Akito brought Bobby to the table. When Ayame announced that he had desserts everyone had pretty much calmed down)

Shigure- Why is HE eating with us?!

(Shigure pointed to Bobby as he took a bite of this cake)

Akito- Shut up.

Bobby- Haha... ^_^

(Everyone began to eat in silence)

Shigure- (Thinking) This sucks. I want this food fight to start up again. I'm sure I can do it... But _how_...

Ayame- (Thinking) This is dreadful. It was much more amusing when the food fight was going on. I'm sure I can get it going again... But _how_...

Akito- (Thinking) That idiot Shigure. He better not be thinking of starting this food fight again. I'll kill him if he does anything... I wonder what Kureno is thinking about, He looks deep in thought.

Kureno- (Thinking) I _**love**_ peanut butter...

Arisa- (Thinking) I wonder what on this table will leave the biggest stain on Orange Top's shirt... The cake? Nah...

Tohru- (Thinking) Oh my it's very quiet. Everyone must be having a horrible time. I have to break the ice some how but- _OH MY GOSH WHAT IS THAT?!_

(Tohru looked down to see Kyo's hand on hers)

Tohru- (Thinking) Oh it's just Kyo. ^_^

Kyo- (Thinking) YES! She is totally holding my hand back! ^_^ Point for the cat, she loves me! ^_^

Yuki- (Thinking) If Kyo doesn't take his hand off of Honda-san's hand in the next two seconds, I'm going to throw my jello on him...

Kagura- (Thinking) If Kyo doesn't take his hand off of Tohru's hand in the next two seconds, I'm going to throw my jello on him...

Momiji- (Thinking) Green jello, green jello! ^_^

Hatori- (Thinking) Oh how I wish I was home now. In my nice quiet office with nobody there to bug me. That look on Shigure's face... He's up to something...

Bobby- (Thinking) This pie is delicious! ^_^ Why is Shigure looking at me like that?

Haru- (Thinking) I never even got to taste my chicken. Damn that Kyo.

Rin- (Thinking) I hate all of this quiet...

Kisa- (Thinking) I wonder what Hiro is thinking...

Hiro- (Thinking) I am going to throw something at Kyo, and maybe the food fight will start again.

Ren- (Thinking) Just for the heck of it, I think I will throw my cake at Akito. No, maybe I'll eat some of it first.

Shigure- (Thinking) I will throw my food at Kyo, he gets angry fast. That should do the trick. ^_^

Ayame- (Thinking) I know! I've got a brillant plan! I will throw my pie at Lucky Kyo! He has needs anger managment, so he should get really mad. ^_^

Hiro- (Thinking) This food fight will go on, eat my cake Kyo! ^_^

Yuki and Kagura- (Thinking) His hand is still there. He's getting the jello!

(All at the same time, Shigure, Ayame, Hiro, Kagura and Yuki threw their desserts on Kyo)

Kyo- GAAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAA! BLAH! AGH!

(Kyo fell out of his chair in shock)

(Everyone was silent)

Yuki- What?

Kagura- Why did-

Shigure- Oh my.....that's not how it was supposed to work.

Ayame- Dear oh dear, his shirt is completely ruined.

Hiro- I didn't think people felt the same way as I did.

Tohru- Umm. Oh my.

(Kyo was silent for a moment as everyone stared at him. He was covered in chocolate cake, pie, ice cream, and two different types of jello)

Kyo- What....what....WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!

(Arisa fell to the floor laughing)

Arisa- Oh my- hahahahaha! The look on your heeheehaha (Choke) face! Hahahahaha! (Choke) Muahahaha (Wheeze) (Cough) bwaha bwaha (Wheeze) Bwahahaha! ^_^

Kyo- THAT'S IT!

(Kyo jumped up and grabbed all of the pies and started chucking it at everybody but Tohru)

Ayame- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- IT WORKED! ^_^

(Ayame and Shigure preformed a spectacular dive to the side to miss being hit by the pies. But Akito wasn't so lucky. One of the pies hit him smack in the face)

Akito- Wait a sec- BLAHAHA! EWWW!

Ren- HAHAHAHAHA! ^_^

Yuki- Kyo, put down the- BLUHAHA!

(One of the many pies Kyo was throwing hit Yuki in the face, and got all over his shirt) Yuki- OKAY THAT'S IT!

(Yuki grabbed Kisa's leek stew and shoved Kyo's face in it)

Kyo- AGHAHAHA! BLULUHAHABLUH! (Cough) (Choke) BLAHBLUHBLAHHAHA!

Kisa- Oh, my.

Hiro- That fool took your food! He is going to pay!

(Hiro grabbed Tohru's ice cream and tossed it on Yuki)

Yuki- AGH!

Hiro- Ha! That's what you get for stealing Kisa's food! ^_^

Momiji- Why did you take Tohru's food Hiro?! YOU'RE SO RUDE!

(Momiji dumped the rest of his green jello down Hiro's shirt)

Hiro- AAAAAAAAH!! YOU'RE GONNA GET IT RABBIT BOY!

Momiji- Bwahaha, catch me if you can! ^_^ Hatori- I want to go home.

Haru- Would you guys stop it? Can't you see that Tohru is getting- GAH!

(Shigure had threw some cake into the air, aiming for Akito, but it hit Haru instead)

Shigure- Uh.

Haru- SHI-GU-RE!! RAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- AAAAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAAAA!

(Shigure hid from Haru, and then dumped some pie in Bobby's lap)

Bobby- HEY!

Shigure- That will teach you to play a prank on me!

Bobby- AKITO! Shigure is throwing food at me!

Akito- What!

Shigure- Shit!

(Akito grabbed an apple)

Akito- You leave Bobby alone Shigure!

(Akito threw the apple at Shigure aiming for his stomach, but lets just say, it hit a little lower)

Shigure- AGH!! That.....hurts.

(Shigure fell down)

Akito- OH CRAP I'M SORRY!

Bobby- Bwahaha... ^_^

Shigure- I'm.....gonnna.....be.....fine.

(Meanwhile, Kureno was having a good time throwing things at people)

Kureno- Hahaha, this is fun! Take this Akito! ^_^ Akito- Huh?

(Kureno threw his pie at Akito, but Akito ducked, and it hit Rin instead)

Rin- HEY!

Kureno- Oops.

(Not knowing it was Kureno who had hit her with the pie, Rin turned towards Akito)

Rin- So you like to throw things huh?

(Rin picked up her jello)

Akito- What are you- GRAH! MY SHIRT!

Rin- That's what you get!

Akito- Oh it's on now!

(Before Akito could throw anything back at Rin, out of no where, a cake went flying through the air, and hit Tohru in the face. Everyone was silent, except for Akito, who was trying so hard to hold in a laugh)

Akito- (Snicker) (Snicker) ^_^

Tohru- Oh, umm.

(Tohru reached for a napkin, and began wiping the cake off of her face)

Akito- (Snort) ^_^

Kyo and Yuki- WHO THREW THAT!

(Everyone turned their gaze to Kagura who was laughing)

Kagura- Bwahaha, bwahaha! ^_^

(Kyo grabbed some ice cream, and tossed it on Kagura)

Kagura- AAAH! HEY!

Kyo- You leave Tohru alone!

Kagura- WHY DID YOU DO THAT LOVE!

(Kagura made a lunge for Kyo, and he took off running)

Kyo- GET AWAY FROM ME!! ARGH!

Kagura- WHERE ARE YOU GOING!

Kyo- AWAY FROM YOU!

Shigure- Well that just ruined the food fight.

Bobby- I see you're feeling better.

(Shigure shot a glare at Bobby)

(Yuki handed Tohru some more napkins)

Yuki- Are you alright Honda-san?

Tohru- Yes, I'm fine.

Akito- (Snort) (Snicker) (Cough) ^_^

(Shigure glanced at Akito)

Shigure- What is so funny Akito? Are you happy that Tohru has chocolate all in her hair?

(Akito shook his head)

Akito- (Snicker) Of.....course.....not..... ^_^

Shigure- Are you sure? Cause that cake hit her right in the face. And I think that-

(Akito couldn't hold his laughter anymore. He began pounding the table and exploded with laughter)

Akito- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Pound) (Pound) MUAHAHAHAHAHA! (Choke) ALL OVER HER FACE! (Pound) BWAHAHA! BWAHAHA! ^_^

(Ren took a huge bite of her dessert and threw it in Akito's direction. And since his mouth was wide open, that's where it landed)

Akito- AHAHAHAHA! (Pound) THE LOOK ON HER- AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGH!

Ren- HAHAHAHAHA! PERFECT AIM! ^_^

Akito- (Spit) (Spit) AAAAAGGGGGH!! EWWW!! (Akito jumped up) Akito- I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Ren- Go on and try it!

(Before Akito could do anything, Hatori grabbed his arms)

Hatori- I think it's time that this dinner ended.

Akito- LET ME AT HER HATORI!! LET ME AT HER!

Rin- I'm suprised we havn't been thrown out yet.

Ayame- Oh yeah, when I went to go get desserts, all of the waiters, and employees were hiding behind the counter. ^_^

Hatori- Well, it's time that everyone went home.

Shigure- But-

(Hatori shot a look at Shigure)

Shigure- (Pouting) Oh fine. Come on Yuki, Tohru.

Yuki- Finally.

Tohru- But what about Kyo?

Shigure- Don't worry, he will find his way home.

(After awhile everyone left and Hanajima and Megumi walked in)

Hanajima- Hello Kyo Sohma.

(All of a sudden, Kyo raced out from the men's bathroom, and out the front door)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hanajima- That was strange.

Megumi- Yes very.

(Hanajima and Megumi sat down at the wrecked table when a waiter walked up)

Hanajima- Hello. We would like to order some food. ^_^

Waiter- I am so sorry, but we are completely out of _EVERYTHING_...

**A/N: Ahahaha, didn't you just love it?! I know I did. Read and review people tell me what you think, okay??? Reviews make me smile! ^_^**


	41. Chapter 41: Happy Valentine's Day

**A/N: Chapter 41! FINALLY! Sorry for the wait, and you guys know the drill. I do not own Furuba, only the plot to my story. Thanks to everyone who has contributed ideas to the Fruits Basket Chatroom Story as well. :)**

**Enjoy the latest, Love CBL21.**

**---**

**Chapter 41: Happy Valentine's Day**

**---**

(Akito awoke the next day to see Ajkito standing over him. Out of shock Akito dropped out of his bed)

Akito- AGH! (CRASH) Uh...

Ajkito- Hello Phone-phone! ^_^

Akito- Huh?

Ajkito- Ajkito loves Phone-phone! ^_^

Akito- Phone-phone??

Ajkito- PHONE-PHONE!! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGH!!!

(Akito snatched up his cell phone and started dialing Bobby's number)

Bobby's Phone- Ring-a-ding-ding

Bobby- That must be Akito to thank me for fixing Ajkito! ^_^

Bobby- Hello? ^_^

Akito- I'LL _KILL_ YOU!!

Bobby- Shigure? I uh, swear, Akito and I didn't do anything!

Akito- THIS _IS_ AKITO YOU FOOL!

Bobby- Oh? Why do you sound so mad?

Akito- WHAT DID YOU DO TO AJKITO?!

Bobby- I fixed him.....

Akito- HIS SPEECH IS COMPLETELY RUINED!!

Bobby- Oh yeah. After he broke, his speech was really messed up. I did the best I could, but I couldn't fix it all the way.

Akito- Ugh....

Bobby- But here's a good thought. His speech might improve over time.

Akito- Really?!

Bobby- I said "_might_".

Akito- Aww, man...

Bobby- You can call me back if you have any problems.

Akito- Alright. Bye.

Bobby- Bye. ^_^

(End of phone call)

Akito- Well, I guess I will just have to work with Ajkito myself.

**(MEANWHILE AT SHIGURE'S HOUSE)**

Shigure- Tohru? When will breakfast be ready?

Tohru- It will be ready in just a moment Shigure-san! ^_^

Shigure- YAY! ^_^ I'll go get the boys.

(Shigure walked up the stairs to Yuki's room.

Shigure- Yuki? Breakfast is almost-

(Yuki shot a look of pure hatred at Shigure)

Yuki- Get out of my room.

Shigure- But, Tohru said-

Yuki- I will come in a minute now get out.

Shigure- (Sigh) You're so hurtful.

(Shigure closed the door to Yuki's room and skipped down the hall to Kyo's room. Before he could even open the door Kyo screamed at him)

Kyo- DON'T YOU EVEN _THINK_ OF COMING IN MY ROOM YOU ASSHOLE! DON'T YOU DARE!

Shigure- AGH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!

(Shigure stomped back down the stairs)

Shigure- Tohru, they won't come!

Tohru- Maybe I should go see what is wrong...

Shigure- I wouldn't...Unless you want them to bite your head off too.

(Tohru walked up the stairs slowly and peeked into Yuki's room)

Tohru- Yuki-kun?

Yuki- Hmm?

Tohru- Umm...breakfast is just about ready...

(Yuki smiled)

Yuki- I will be right down. ^_^

Tohru- Uh, okay... ^_^

(Tohru left and breathed a sigh of relief. One down, one more to go. She opened Kyo's door a crack)

Tohru- Kyo-kun?

(Kyo snapped around)

Kyo- Yeah Tohru, what's up?

Tohru- Breakfast is ready, Kyo-kun. ^_^

Kyo- Alright. ^_^

(Tohru smiled to herself and walked back down the stairs to a waiting Shigure)

Shigure- Were they mean to you Tohru?

(Tohru shook her head)

Tohru- Nope. They seem normal. ^_^

(Shigure gaped)

Shigure- Well, they were mean to me!

(Before Tohru could say anything more, her and Shigure heard screaming coming down from the stairs)

Kyo- GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU STUPID RAT!

Yuki- YOU'RE IN MY WAY!!

Kyo- WELL, YOU RUINED DINNER YESTERDAY!!

Yuki- HA! THAT WAS _YOU_!

Kyo- DO YOU WANT TO START SOMETHING?!

Yuki- SHUT UP AND MOVE YOUR ASS! I CAN'T GET DOWN THE STAIRS WITH YOU IN MY WAY!!

Kyo- MAKE ME ASSHOLE!

(There was a loud crash, and then a moan from Kyo, then Yuki came down the stairs. He smiled when he saw Tohru)

Yuki- Good morning Honda-san. ^_^

(Yuki shot a look, but said nothing to Shigure)

Shigure- What did I do?!

(Suddenly the phone rang and Tohru rushed to answer it)

Tohru- Hello?

Haru- Hello, Tohru.

Tohru- Hatsuharu?

Haru- Yes.

Tohru- Good morning! ^_^

Haru- Good morning to you too.

Tohru- Is there anything I can help you with?

Haru- I would just like to talk to Shigure.

Tohru- Alright. Just a moment. ^_^

(Tohru handed the phone to Shigure)

Tohru- It's for you Shigure-san! ^_^

(Shigure grabbed the phone)

Shigure- Hello? ^_^

Haru- I just wanted to tell you that I am infuriated with you right now.

Shigure- What did I-

Haru- Ssh. I want to talk to Kyo please.

Shigure- But I want to know why-

Haru- Just let me talk to Kyo.

Shigure- Why is everyone mad at-

Haru- PUT KYO ON THE PHONE DAMMIT!!

(Shigure flinched away from the phone and looked to the left to see Kyo hobbling down from the stairs)

Kyo- Damn Rat...

(Shigure smiled and held out the phone to him)

Shigure- It's for you! ^_^

(Kyo scowled)

Kyo- Who is it?

Shigure- Hatsuharu.

(Kyo snatched the phone away from Shigure)

Kyo- Hello?

Haru- I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A-

(Kyo hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen)

Kyo- I'm not in the mood for his crap today. I already have to deal with Rat Boy.

Yuki- Watch yourself, Cat-san.

Kyo- _MAKE ME_!

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- (Sigh) Kyo, I'm SURE that the call is for you.

(Kyo sat down at the table, helping himself to the eggs and veggies Tohru had made for them)

Kyo- Too bad. ^_^

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- Kyo...

Kyo- Lalalalalalalalala ^_^

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

(Yuki shot Kyo a glare)

Kyo- If you want to know what he has to say, YOU answer it! I'm eating breakfast. ^_^

Yuki- You make me sick.

Tohru- Is the food good, Kyo-kun?

Kyo- Delicious. ^_^

**_Phone-_**

**(Shigure)** You have reached the Sohma's. We aren't home right now but-

**(Kyo)** If we aren't answering, it's because we don't want to talk to you!

**(Shigure)** KYO! SHUT UP! Anyway, please leave a message and we will-

**(Kyo)** BWAHAHAHA!!

**(Yuki)** YOU DAMN CAT!! YOU RUINED MY SHIRT!

**(Kyo)** AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**(Shigure)** We will get back to you, bye bye now! ^_^

**(Kyo)** YOU STUPID MOTHER-

**_(BEEP)_**

Shigure- Ah, that was a classic... ^_^

Yuki- Shut up, I want to see what Haru says!

Phone- Kyo, it's Haru. Listen I just wanna talk. Pick up the phone, okay?

Kyo- (Scoff) What a liar!

Phone- I'm serious Kyo, I just want to talk. Man to man. Come on.

Kyo- HA!

Phone- Kyo. Pick. Up. The. Phone.

Kyo- Hear it comes...

Phone- FINE YOU ASSHOLE!! I'M GOING TO GET YOU! I WILL! YOU RUINED DINNER LAST NIGHT! YOU HIT ME IN THE FACE WITH THE DAMN FOOD! YOU WANNA FIGHT?! LET'S FIGHT! RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! I'VE HAD ENOUGH WITH YOUR SHIT! YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL! I'M GONNA CRUSH YOU! C-R-U-S-H, CRUSH! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING CAT?! I WILL-

Phone- End of message.

Kyo- Hahaha... ^_^

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Shigure- (Sigh) Why don't you just answer it Kyo?

Kyo- There is no way in hell. ^_^

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Yuki- He'll keep calling back.

Phone-Ring-ring-ring

Kyo- Oh well, I'm still eating! ^_^

Yuki- (Whispering) Pig...

Kyo- What?

**_Phone-_**

**(Shigure)** You have reached the Sohma's. We aren't home right now but-

**(Kyo)** If we aren't answering, it's because we don't want to talk to you!

**(Shigure)** KYO! SHUT UP! Anyway, please leave a message and we will-

**(Kyo)** BWAHAHAHA!!

**(Yuki)** YOU DAMN CAT!! YOU RUINED MY SHIRT!

**(Kyo)** AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

**(Shigure)** We will get back to you, bye bye now! ^_^

**(Kyo)** YOU STUPID MOTHER-

**_(BEEP)_**

Phone- I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE MISERABLE! I WILL CALL YOU EVERY SECOND OF EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY! I WILL TORTURE YOU! I WILL GET KAGURA TOCOME OVER THERE EVERY SINGLE DAY! I WILL TELL HER THAT YOU ARE FINALLY IN LOVE WITH HER, AND SHE'LL BELIEVE ME! NOT YOU, ME! SO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I WILL SNAP YOU LIKE A-

Phone- **End of message.**

Yuki- If he calls back again, and you don't answer it Kyo, I will secretly put leeks in your food.

Kyo- You wouldn't.

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Yuki- I will.

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Yuki- You won't know when or how or where, but trust me, I WILL do it.

Kyo- RAAAAH!

(Kyo stomped over to the phone and answered it)

Kyo- STOP CALLING THIS NUMBER, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! I WILL KILL YOU!

Ritsu- I'M SORRY!

Kyo- Uh, wait!

Ritsu- FORGIVE ME! I WAS ONLY GOING TO ASK IF I COULD COME BY TO SEE TOHRU, BUT I CAN SEE THAT I AM JUST A BURDEN AND I AM HATED BY THE WORLD!! I'M SO SORRY THAT I EVER CALLED! (Gasp) YOU WERE PROBABLY EATING BREAKFAST, WEREN'T YOU, _WEREN'T YOU_?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M SOOOOOOORRY!

(End of call)

Kyo- (Sigh) I can't stand him...

**THE NEXT DAY**

(Akito was laying in his bed asleep, when the phone rang)

Phone-Ring-ring-ring

Akito- Umm...bluh...sleepy...

Phone-Ring-ring-ring

Akito- No.

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Akito- GO AWAY!

**_Phone-_**

(Akito) You've reached Akito Sohma. I'm not able to answer your call right now. If you're _**NOT**_ Shigure, then leave a message. If you _**ARE**_ Shigure, then don't bother because I'm not calling you back.

**_(BEEP)_**

Phone- Hey Akito. It's Shigure.

(Akito opened his eyes)

Akito- Oh great...

Phone- Yeah, so I wanted to talk to you, but your probably asleep, or ignoring me, but oh well.

(Silence)

Akito- Haha, maybe he hung up! ^_^

Phone- HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, VALENTINE'S DAY AKITO BABY!! ^_^

Akito- AGH! Wait, WHAT?! VALENTINE'S DAY?! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGH!

Phone- I'm sure you forgot all about Valentine's, but I didn't HAHAHA! So, when you get the chance open your door and get the present I got you! You'll LOVE it! Bye bye, Darling!!

**(End of Message)**

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito rushed to his door and opened it. As Shigure had said, a brightly wrapped present laying on the ground waiting for him)

Akito- Fantastic...

(Akito snatched the gift and took it into his room to open it. When he opened it, his eyes first spotted a HUGE box of chocolate covered strawberries. He tossed them to the side)

Akito- GROSS!

(The next thing he found was a video)

Akito- Oh no...

(Akito slung the video underneath his bed)

Akito- No _way_ am I watching that piece of crap.

(Akito stomped out of his room)

**BACK AT SHIGURE'S HOUSE**

(Yuki sat in the living room having an intense staring contest with Kyo, when Shigure walked up)

Shigure- What's up guys?

(Yuki broke his trans)

Yuki- What do you want?

(Kyo jumped up)

Kyo- I WON!! BWAHAHAHA!! I WON! I WON! ^_^

Yuki- We weren't playing a game, stupid cat.

Kyo- (Snicker) YES WE WERE! AND I WON! ^_^

Yuki- (Sigh)

Shigure- Sounds like you two need a vacation. ^_^

Kyo- I wish.

Yuki- What are you implying, Shigure?

Shigure- Well...Today, is a special day...

Kyo- What day?

Yuki- You are such a idiot!

(Yuki marched over to the calendar, and shoved it in Kyo's face)

Kyo- FEBURARY 14TH?! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! VALENTINE'S!

Shigure- I thought you would know, Kyo. I mean, you and Yuki have gotten tons of candy in the mail.

Kyo- THAT WAS WHAT THAT WAS?!

Yuki- What did you think it was?

Kyo- Well...

Yuki- You're truly a fool.

Kyo- SHUT UP!

(Hearing the commotion, Tohru walked down stairs, almost hitting Kyo as he rushed out of the room)

Tohru- Is everything okay? I heard some yelling. What is wrong with Kyo-kun?

Shigure- Oh it was nothing Tohru. Just Kyo and Yuki fighting, as they always do. And Kyo lost. ^_^

Torhu- Oh, okay.

(Yuki walked up to Tohru and put a small box of chocolates in her hand)

Yuki- For you. Happy Valentine's Day, Honda-san. ^_^

Tohru- Oh, Yuki, thank you so much! ^_^ I got something for all of you as well.

Shigure- Even for me? ^_^

Tohru- You too, Shigure-san! ^_^

Yuki- You really didn't have to get us anything Honda-san, just having you here makes it all worth while.

Tohru- (Blush) Oh....umm...umm...here!

(Tohru thrusted a small box of chocolates, and sugar candies into Shigure's and Yuki's hand)

Tohru- H-h-happy V-valentine's Day....

Shigure- (Sniff) Tohru you are too kind! ^_^

Yuki- Thank you Honda-san. ^_^

(Before Tohru could answer, Kyo came down the stairs. What he was holding made everyone gasp in shock. He was holding a huge bouquet of roses, a rather large box of chocolates, and a tiny black box. He handed the flowers to Tohru)

Kyo- Happy Valentine's Day.

Tohru- (Blushing even redder) Oh. My.

Yuki- WHAT IN THE-?!

Shigure- AWWWW!! ^_^

(Kyo kissed Tohru on the cheek)

Kyo- Do you like it?

(Tohru didn't respond. She was looking adoringly at all of the stuff Kyo had brought for her. Tears began to flow down her cheeks. And at the same time she laughed)

Tohru- Oh, Kyo-kun. I love it. I love it all.

Kyo- Good. I'm glad. ^_^

(Shigure grabbed the flowers)

Shigure- I'll go put these in some water. Haha... ^_^

(Tohru took the small box of candy out of her bag)

Tohru- It's a horrible present compared to your's but-

(Kyo smiled and took the chocolate out of Tohru's trembling hand)

Kyo- Tohru, I love everything you give to me.

Tohru- Kyo, you're too nice to me.

(Yuki secretly fumed inside and Shigure spied from the kitchen)

(Suddenly Kyo's eyes fell to the tiny black box)

Kyo- Do you want to open it?

(Tohru practically fell down)

Tohru- OF COURSE I'L OPEN IT! I'LL OPEN IT _RIGHT NOW_!!

(Tohru tore the box open, and was stunned speachless. Inside the tiny box was a diamond necklace. It was a "K" incrested with small diamonds)

Tohru- Is.....that....._real_?

Kyo- Yeah. I had been saving up for it. Do you like it? I mean if you think I'm rude for getting a "K" then I can take it back and change it to a "T" if you want. I thought you might like it but if you-

(Tohru cut Kyo off. She leaned in swiftly and planted a kiss on his lips)

Yuki- Gag me.

Shigure- Go Kyo! ^_^ Muahaha...

(Kyo rubbed the back of his head as he tried but failed to cover the blush spreading to his cheeks)

Kyo- Well. I guess that means you like it...

Tohru- I love it Kyo.

(Tohru placed the necklace around her neck and showed it to Shigure)

Tohru- Isn't beautiful Shigure-san? ^_^

Shigure- Oh yes. ^_^

Yuki- Very pretty Honda-san.

Tohru- Thank you so much Kyo-kun. ^_^ I love it, and I love you. I love you _all_!

Shigure- AWWWW!!! ^_^

Kyo- I love you too, Tohru.

(Yuki pushed Kyo out of the way)

Yuki- As do I, Honda-san.

Shigure- Before you three get all romantic on me again, I have to tell you something.

(Kyo and Yuki snapped around to glare at Shigure)

Yuki and Kyo- WHAT DID YOU DO?!

?????- That was truly romantic Kyo. So _grand_.

Kyo- Who in the-?

Yuki- OH NO!

Ayame- That was so beautiful, Kyo. It brought tears to my eyes.

Kyo- YOU WERE _WATCHING_ ME?!

Tohru- Oh dear....

(Ayame rushed up to Tohru an fingered the necklace around her neck)

Ayame- My that is beautiful, isn't it, Tohru dear? I wonder how Lucky Kyo was able to affored something like that...?

Kyo- DON'T CALL ME THAT!

Yuki- WHO INVITED HIM?!

(Ayame walked up to Yuki and patted him on the back)

Ayame- Dearest Yuki, does it really matter who invited me? All that matters is that I'm here now! Hahahaha! ^_^

Yuki- I'm going to kill him. I will.

Ayame- HAHAHAHAHAHA! You are so funny Yuki! ^_^ Don't you want to know what I got you for Valentine's?

Yuki- Hell no.

Ayame- Well, it's not just for you, Mr. Selfish, it's for everybody! Even Kyo! ^_^

Kyo- Great...

Tohru- Ayame-san, you really shouldn't have!

Ayame- I know, I know. ^_^

Kyo- You don't even know what he got us yet!

Ayame- How does a cruise to Jamaica sound?

(Silence)

Tohru- A _**CRUISE**_?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kyo- CALM DOWN! HE'S LYING! You are lying, right?

Ayame- Nope. Gure-san, said that you needed a vacation, so I thought it would be the perfect Valentine's Day gift! ^_^

Tohru- A (gasp) cruise??!

Kyo- Tohru! It's just a vacation! Don't have a stroke over it!

Tohru- (Gasp) (Gasp)

Shigure- So when did you schedule it Aaya? ^_^

Ayame- Tomorrow. ^_^

(Silence)

Tohru- _**TOMORROW**_?! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Tohru dashed up the stairs and back down again. She began to run circles around the living room)

Tohru- We gotta pack! Oh, but what about the house?! Who will watch it while we're gone?! AAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Kyo glared at Ayame)

Kyo- Are you trying to give Tohru a heart attack?!

Ayame- That wasn't my intensions...

Shigure- So Aaya, did you already get the tickets?

Ayame- Yep, all 11 tickets.

(Yuki grabbed Ayame by the shirt collar)

Yuki- 11? Just who are these 11 people going on this trip?

Ayame- Well, you, Kyo, Tohru, Shigure, and Me, of course.

Yuki- That's only 5, who else did you invite?

Ayame- Well, Hatori, Haru and Isuzu wanted to come.

Yuki- That's only 8, keep talking Ayame.

Ayame- Mine, is also going to accompany me.

(Yuki's grip tightened)

Yuki- That's _nine_...

Ayame- Well...

Yuki- Ayame! SPEAK!

Ayame- Okay, okay, Akito and Bobby, are coming!

(There was a crash from the kitchen)

Shigure- WHAT?! _BOBBY_?!

(Kyo grabbed Ayame's arm)

Kyo- _**NO FREAKING WAY**_!

Tohru- But, I want Akito-san, to come. And Bobby-san, too...

Kyo- (Sigh) Just how ling is this trip going to be?

Ayame- Two weeks, Lucky Kyo. Two.

Kyo- DON'T CALL ME LUCKY FREAKING KYO!

Ayame- But that's not what I called you...

Kyo- RAGH! I HATE YOU!

Yuki- I could deal with two weeks, for Honda-san...

Ayame- Oh you would?! How bold! ^_^

Kyo- I guess I'll go too...

Tohru- Oh Kyo-kun, thank you! ^_^

Shigure- (Snicker) ^_^

(Kyo punched Shigure in the arm)

Kyo- QUIET YOU!

Shigure- OW!

**BACK AT THE MAIN HOUSE**

(The was a knock on Akito's door)

Akito- Oh, who is it?!

(Akito opened the door to see one of the servants holding a package)

Akito- What is this?

Servant- Shigure-san asked me to give this to you.

Akito- Ugh. Okay thanks.

(The servant bowed and left)

Akito- What could _THIS_ be?

(Akito sat the box down and opened it to see three tickets, and a note)

Akito- What in the-?

(Akito picked up the note and began to read it)

_**Note-**_

_**Dearest Akito-san,  
I am inviting you, Tori-san, and Bobby, to come on a wonderful trip to Jamaica. It will be a wonderful cruise, so pack your wonderful things and get ready, because we are going tomorrow.**_

_**Love Ayame**_

_**P.S. Happy Valentine's Day! ^_^**_

(Akito stared blankly at the note, and then glanced down into the box to see the tickets, along with the skimpiest bikini imaginable, with a tag that said, "Love Shigure" on it)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito rushed to the phone, but right when he was about to pick it up, it rang)

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

Akito- GAH!

Phone- Ring-ring-ring

(Akito answered the phone)

Akito- (Annoyed) Hello?

Shigure- Hello muffen! ^_^

Akito- (Choke) HA!

Shigure- So are you packing your bags?

Akito- If you think that I'm going on that trip with you, your more crazy than I thought, and you should probably be registered under metally retarded.

Shigure- Oh come, on Ayame paid A LOT of money for those tickets.

Akito- Guess what?

Shigure- Yes darling?

Akito- I don't care! ^_^

Shigure- He said Bobby could come.

Akito- As much as I know that having Bobby there would make you miserable and piss you off, my answer is still no.

Shigure- You're hurtful. Did you get my present?

Akito- Oh, if you mean that gigantic box of disgusting strawberries, then yes.

Shigure- You love them, and you're probably eating one right now.

(Akito looked at the strawberry in his hand and tossed it to the ground)

Akito- No, I'm not.

Shigure- Whatever, you're going on the cruise, and you're going to like it.

Akito- You can't make me do anything!

Shigure- MY decision is final!

Akito- _Your_ decision means nothing!

Shigure- Haha, we will see, now won't we?

Akito- HEY! What does THAT mean?

Shigure- Bwahaha! Don't worry, you'll find out tomorrow.

Akito- WHAT?!

Shigure- Bye bye, my pumpkin pie! ^_^

Akito- YOU WISH!

(End of call)

(Akito thought to himself for a moment)

Akito- I wonder what he's up to....

**THE NEXT DAY**

Servant- Akito-san, wake up, it's breakfast time. ^_^

Akito- Uh? What time is it?

Servant- 5:00 a.m. Akito-san. ^_^

Akito- HA! You _must_ be crazy! Go away!

Servant- But, Akito-san, you must be ready in time to catch the boat.

Akito- Boat? I'm not going on any boat! Who told you that nonsense?!

(The servant had no time to answer, because Akito shot up out of bed and answered the question himself)

Akito- SHIGURE! THAT _HOBO_!

Servant- Umm, do you want your breakfast anyway, Akito-san?

Akito- (Sigh) Well, it's not like I'm going to be able to go back to sleep, so what the heck.

(The servant left and Akito began to eat his food)

Akito- Ugh. Disgusting. What is wrong with these eggs? They taste horrible.

(Suddenly Shigure walked into Akito's room)

Akito- AGH! (Choke) (Choke)

Shigure- Calm down button, it's just me. ^_^

Akito- (Cough) That's why I'm choking you idiot!

(Shigure came up to Akito's bed and reached under it)

Akito- GAH! What are you doing under my bed?!

Shigure- Getting this. ^_^

(Shigure held up a huge suitcase)

Akito- What in the-?! When did you-?! _**I'm not going on that cruise!**_

Shigure- Oh, yes you are, and why was this-

(Shigure held up the video that he gave Akito for Valentine's)

Shigure- Under your bed?

Akito- Because I hate it. I'm am not going on that vacation!

Shigure- Too bad. ^_^

Akito- What are you going to do, kidnap me or something? Haha, you're crazy! ^_^

Shigure- That is actually, a very great idea, Akito-san! ^_^

Akito- What?

(Shigure grabbed Akito and began dragging him to the front of the Main House)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HE'S KIDNAPPING ME! AGH!

(Akito suddenly began to feel dizzy)

Akito- What in the hell?

Shigure- Maybe, the medicine is kicking in! ^_^

Akito- What?! Med- (Gasp) YOU POISENED MY EGGS!!!

Shigure- Well, more like drugged, but it's basically the same thing.

Akito- WHY YOU LTTLE- OH!

(Akito passed out)

**LATER IN THE DAY**

(Shigure, Ayame, Mine, Haru, Rin, Hatori, Kyo, Yuki, Tohru, Bobby, and the unconcious Akito boarded the boat at exactly 6:00 a.m.)

Ayame- Hahahaha, this is amazing, isn't it, Mine? ^_^

Mine- Hahaha, yes yes, it sure is Ayame-kun! ^_^

Shigure- Hahahahaha! ^_^

Mine- Ahahahahaha! ^_^

Kyo- So tired...

Yuki- Zzzzzz.....

Tohru- This is...(Yawn)...so nice...

Shigure- Tohru, if you're tired, you should go down below the ship and get some rest.

Tohru- No, no! I wouldn't miss a minute of this trip!

Haru- Tohru, just go get some sleep.

Tohru- But-

Rin- Just stop complaining, and go to sleep!

(Tohru jumped)

Tohru- Yes, okay.

Hatori- Don't be so hard on her, Tohru, there is a bed just in that room over there. You might want to take Yuki, and Kyo with you. They look sleepy.

Kyo- I aint....tired....

Tohru- Come on Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun.

Kyo- Aw, fine.

(Kyo and Yuki still half asleep, followed Tohru down below the ship to get some rest)

Ayame- This is going to be a fabulous trip! ^_^

**AT THAT MOMENT**

--Yuki logs on--

Yuki'- THE PLAN HAS BEEN SET IN MOTION!

--Yuki'sFan#1 logs on--

--Yuki'sFan#2 logs on--

Yuki'sFan#1- What's the info, Motoko?

Yuki'sFan#2- Yeah what's going on?

Yuki'- MUAHAHAHAHA! We have reason to believe that Yuki has recently boarded a boat to take a cruise all the way to Jamiacia!

Yuki'sFan#2- GASP! All the way to Jamacia? WHY?!?!

Yuki'sFan#1- For how long?!

Yuki'sFan#2- OMG!

Yuki'sFan#1- HE'S LEAVING US FOREVER!

Yuki'- SHUT UP YOU IDIOTS! And no, it is not forever but it is long enough. The only person responsible for this atrocity is Tohru Honda herself! We have futage of her accopanning him as he boarded the boat!

Yuki'sFan#1- That sneaky little witch!

Yuki'sFan#2- Well what are we going to do about it, Motoko Senpai?

Yuki'- Hahahahaa...

**---**

**A/N: OMG sorry for the wait you guys I know that must've sucked. I've been spending a lot of time with my family for Christmas break so I sorta left the stories hanging... In the words of Ritsu: _FORGIVE ME! I'M SORRY!_ :) Pwease review for it makes me happy. ^_^**


	42. Chapter 42: Truth or Dare and The Trip

**A/N: Sorry for the wait. I won't say much; I know you guys want to read. :)**

**Enjoy the latest. ;)**

**---**

**Chapter 42: Truth or Dare and The Trip**

**---**

4 HOURS LATER

(Akito rolled to the side, hitting something hard. He sprung up from his sleep)

Akito- WHAT IN THE-?!

(Akito looked around to see that he was in a dark room. He turned to his side to where he had felt something hard. He looked closely, and what he saw made him want to scream. What he had bumped into was the sleeping Tohru)

Akito- (Whispering) AGH! TOHRU HONDA KIDNAPPED ME!

(Akito thought for a minute)

Akito- Wait, I remember now. SHIGURE KIDNAPPED ME!!

(Tohru moved slightly in her sleep, and Akito cupped a hand over his mouth)

Akito- (Whispering) Gotta be quiet, or I'll never escape...

(Akito opened the door, and rushed out into the sun. But something stopped him. He looked out to see nothing but ocean. He stood there stunned)

Akito- Wha-?

Shigure- Did you sleep well Akito-san? ^_^

Akito- Aaa-

Shigure- What was that?

Akito- Aaa.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Ayame- Akito seems happy! ^_^

Hatori- Did you have to knock him out cold, Shigure? Why couldn't you just let him come on his own?

Shigure- Because he wouldn't have come any other way. ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- Hahahahaha... ^_^

Haru- I just thought he was sleeping...

Rin- (Snicker) (Snicker) We kidnapped the Head of the Family!

Akito- ARGH! DAMMIT! SHIT! CRAP! CRAP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Hatori- Here it comes...Haru, Rin why don't you go check on Tohru, and Kyo and Yuki? Wake them up in a few minutes.

Haru- Okay.

Rin- Yeah, yeah...

(Haru and Rin went down below the ship)

(As soon as they were out of sight, Akito tackled Shigure)

Shigure- GAH! (Crash)

Akito- WHERE IN THE HELL ARE WE?!

Ayame- We are on the ocean of course! ^_^

Akito- SHUT UP AYAME! Now-

(Akito glanced back down at Shigure)

Akito- Where are we headed?

Shigure- Well-

Akito- Tell...me..._NOW_!

Shigure- Okay okay, Jamaica, jeez!

(Akito stood up)

Akito- Okay, Hatori, take me home this instant!

Hatori- That isn't really possible Akito.

Akito- WHAT?! WHY?! I WANNA GO HOME!

(Suddenly Bobby walked up)

Akito- (Gasp) THEY DID LET YOU COME!

(Akito ran into Bobby's arms)

Shigure- Grrrr....

Akito- Bobby Bobby Bobby! ^_^

Bobby- Hey Akito, you're awake! Are you excited about the trip?

Akito- Well I wasn't...until now! ^_^

Bobby- Aww... ^_^

Shigure- Alright, alright that's enough!

Akito- YOU SHUT UP! I can hug Bobby as much as I want, isn't that right Bobby? ^_^

Bobby- Umm, Akito, maybe you should let go now...

Shigure- That would probably be best for you, Bobby.

(Akito let go of Bobby and sat down in chair that faced the ocean)

Akito- You suck, Shigure.

Shigure- I know, wait **_what_**?

Akito- Muahaha... ^_^

(Suddenly there was a loud crash and something that sounded like water being splashed)

Kyo- AGHAGAHGAHGAHGAHGAH! BLAHAHAHAHA! BLUHUUUUAAGAHAHA!

Rin- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ^_^

Yuki- WHAT IN THE _HELL_?!

Tohru- Oh my, oh my goodness!

Akito- Oh this is great. What did they do this time?

Shigure- Oh my...

Ayame- Heeheehahaha, they're just having fun! ^_^

Hatori- I swear, if they broke something-

Ayame- Hush, hush Tori-san, lets sit back and have a good time. ^_^

(Suddenly the door to the hold opened and Haru and Rin came out)

Shigure- What happened down there?

Haru- Nothing. We just woke Kyo up.

Rin- (Snicker) (Snicker) Oh, we woke him up alright! ^_^

Shigure- What did you do to him?

(Kyo and Yuki stomped out of the hold. They were both shaking, and dripping with water)

Kyo- Who...gave...H-haru...the...ice cold...bucket of...w-water?!

Rin- Bwahaha...

Yuki- You hate us don't you Shigure?

Shigure- I didn't tell him to dump water on you.

(Kyo grabbed Haru by the shirt collar)

Kyo- THEN WHY DID YOU DO IT YOU ASSHOLE?!

(Haru's eyes slanted and turned a deep black)

Yuki- Oh, you've done it now...

Rin- Shit.

(Haru punched Kyo in the stomach making him fall down)

Kyo- AGH!

Haru- I'm going to make your time on this cruise, a living hell Kyo. BWAHAHAHAHA! A LIVING HELL! HAHAHAHAHA! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU KITTY CAT! WATER IS THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES! MUHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! AHAHA! HA!

(Haru grabbed Kyo by the legs just as Tohru was walking up out of the hold, and Tohru watched in horror as Haru tossed Kyo overboard)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Tohru- KYO-KUN! OH MY GOSH! OH MY GOSH!

Yuki- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MUAHAHAHAHA!

(Haru went back down under the ship, and Rin followed)

Akito- I hope he can swim.

Ayame- Hahaha! ^_^

(Tohru rushed to the side of the ship and looked out at the open water)

Tohru- (Gasp) Shigure-san! I don't see him! We need to help him!

Yuki- Hahahaha! Calm down Honda-san, bwahaha! ^_^

Tohru- BUT KYO-KUN NEEDS HELP!

Yuki- No, no Honda-san, he didn't even fall into the water.

Tohru- What? But Haru-san-

Yuki- Honda-san, did you hear a splash?

Tohru- Well, no, but-

Ayame- Now that you mention it dearest brother, I didn't hear a splash either...

Tohru- Then where is he?

Yuki- Knowing him, he is probably holding on to the side of the ship.

Akito- The idiot is probably to afraid to come back up.

Shigure- He'll either be back in a minute or call for our help, don't you worry Tohru. ^_^

(Tohru sat down)

Tohru- Alright...

Kyo- **_Help_**.

(Tohru jumped up)

Tohru- That was Kyo-kun!

Shigure- See? What did I tell you? ^_^

(Tohru rushed to the side of the ship and looked down to see Kyo hooked on to the side, only a foot away from clashing waves)

Kyo- Help!

Yuki- Hahaha! Dumb cat! Why don't you just climb back up?

Kyo- HELP ME!

(Akito rushed up and stared at Kyo)

Akito- I vote we get something to poke him with!

Yuki- I agree! ^_^

Kyo- HELP!

Tohru- Just climb up Kyo-kun!

Kyo- I can't.

Tohru- Why?

Kyo- I don't want to fall into the water! **_HELP ME_**!

Ayame- Oh quit your whining, I have a rope!

Kyo- Throw it to me!

Yuki- I say we throw things _at _him, and make him fall into the water. ^_^

Shigure- Yuki, be nice, and save Kyo from drowning please?

Ayame- Here it is!

(Ayame threw the rope down to Kyo and Kyo grabbed onto it and with one pull, Kyo dropped into the water)

Kyo- BLAAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAAHA! BLUHBLUHBLUHBLUH!

Yuki- AYAME!

Tohru- AYAME-SAN!

Hatori- _AYAME_!

Shigure- AAYA!

Akito- HAHAHAHAHA! ^_^

Ayame- What? I gave him the rope.

Yuki- YOU **_IDIOT_**!

Ayame- Oh, did he want me to hold onto the rope? Oh my, I'll need to remember that next time... Sorry Lucky Kyo! ^_^

Kyo- BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP ME! SAVE ME! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- Hahaha, look at him trying to swim back to the ship! Heeheehahahaha! ^_^

(Tohru rushed over to the middle of the ship and grabbed a life jacket with a rope attached to it)

Tohru- Here you go Kyo-kun! Use this!

(Tohru threw the life jacket to Kyo, and with Yuki's help, pulled him back up onto the boat)

Kyo- Thanks Tohru.....and I guess you too Yuki....

Yuki- Whatever. It was worth seeing you fall in! ^_^

Kyo- (Gritting his teeth) Thanks...

Yuki- You're welcome! ^_^

(Kyo turned around and glared at Ayame)

Kyo- You better sleep with your eyes open!

Ayame- My, my, such rudeness! How dare you speak to the person who tried to save you that way!

Kyo- Because of you, I almost drowned!

Ayame- Well, I didn't know that you wanted me to hold onto the rope.

Kyo- What kind of idiot expects to pull someone aboard a boat, if you're not holding on to the rope?!

Ayame- (Sigh) You're such a complainer. I am going to visit with Mine.

Shigure- Wait, where is Mine?

Ayame- Oh, hahaha, she is watching the Captain steer the boat of course. ^_^ I shall return my fellow friends! ^_^

(Ayame walked away to the front of the ship)

Kyo- Ugh, I hate him. Now, where is that ass Haru? I'm going to kill him for what he did to me!

Hatori- Kyo, we are all here to have a good time on the cruise, stop trying to ruin it fro everyone by starting fights.

Kyo- But-

Hatori- Just let it go.

Kyo- (Sigh) Fine! I wouldn't want to ruin Tohru's time...

Tohru- Thank you so much Kyo-kun! ^_^

Kyo- Yeah...

Shigure- This is going to be great! ^_^

Akito- This is going to be so boring....

LATER THAT EVENING

(Shigure walked up to the everyone. They were all sitting in a circle on the deck of the ship)

(He waved)

Shigure- Hey you guys, guess what? I have an idea of what we can do to make this trip less boring. ^_^

(Akito shot him a, "_I have no idea what you're planning now, but if it has anything to do with me, I swear that I will rip your guts out and make you eat them_," look.

Tohru- Oh, tell us Shigure-san!

(Everyone glanced at Tohru)

Tohru- Oh! Umm...not that the trip is boring, no no, I didn't mean that...at all, I-I swear!

Kyo- It's okay Tohru, we know you didn't mean it like that.

Akito- Sure she didn't...

Shigure- HUSH AND LET ME EXPLAIN!

(All when silent for except for a few grumbles from Akito and Shigure pulled an empty bottle from behind his back)

Hatori- Shigure, I hope your not thinking-

Shigure- WE ARE ALL GOING TO PLAY SPIN THE BOTTLE!! ^_^

Ayame- **_SQUEEEEEEEEAL_**!! YES! YES! MY FAVORITE! ^_^

Kyo- The hell? No way.

Mine- It is my favorite as well! ^_^

Hatori- ~Sigh~

Bobby- Sure. I guess I'll play.

(Haru and Rin jumped up from their seats)

Haru- We are **_so_** tired. ^_^

Rin- Yep, _exhausted_. ^_^

Shigure- (Whining) You just don't want to play with me!

Haru- Not the case at _all_. ^_^

Rin- **_Never_**. ^_^

Shigure- But-

Rin- So tired. ^_^

Haru- We really must be leaving, you know, too our beds. ^_^

Shigure- But-

(They both waved simultaneously before dashing into one of the lower cabins on the ship)

Akito's thoughts- ***_Perhaps he will not notice me if I try to leave as well..._***

(Before Akito could even think about standing, Shigure shot a finger at him and lurched to his feet)

Shigure- Oh _HELL_ no; you're staying!

Akito- What?! You cannot control me!

Bobby- I want to play...

Akito- Oh fine.

Kyo- Well I definitely do not-

Tohru- I would like to play as well. ^_^

Kyo- ...want to leave Tohru alone. I guess I'll play too...

Yuki's thoughts- ***_This is just his way of trying to take Honda-san all to himself!_***

Yuki- I'll stay too.

Hatori- This is _ridiculous _Shigure.

Shigure- No it's not!

Hatori- I'm going to sleep, too.

Shigure- No, you have to stay because _YOU LOVE ME_!!

Hatori- That is questionable.

Shigure- GASP!

Hatori- ~Sigh~ Oh shut up. I'll stay.

Shigure- YAY! ^_^

Ayame- HURRAY! ^_^

Akito- Well, I am not playing.

Shigure- You will.

Akito- Kyahaha, or WHAT?!

Shigure- Hey guys, who wants to know a HUGE secret about Akito-san?

Ayame- OH I DO!

Yuki- Why not.

Akito- You wouldn't dare.

Shigure- Akito is-

(Akito snatched the bottle away from Shigure and chuckled)

Akito- Hahaha, you're funny Shigure. So who's going first? ^_^

Shigure's thought's- ***_Muahahaha, yes...._***

Shigure- Hmmm, let's see...

(Shigure spun the bottle and it landed on Hatori)

Hatori- ~Sigh~

Hatori's thoughts- ***_Well, fuck._***

Shigure- HIYA! ^_^ Alrightie, Hatori-san, truth or dare?

Hatori- Truth.

Shigure- BOO you suck, alright, hmmm... Okay, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

(Shigure winked at him)

Hatori- Became friends with you.

Shigure- WHAT?!

Ayame- ~Snort~ ^_^ Hahahahaaa!

Hatori- (Shooting Ayame a glare) And you.

Ayame- Well, now that's just plain RUDE Tori-san. I will be sure to say something mean about you when it's my turn. Hmph.

Shigure- No! That's not how it works!

Akito- Shut up and get on with it!

(With a huff, Shigure passed the bottle to Tohru, who delicately spun it. It hardly turned)

Tohru- I think I did it wrong...

Akito- Oh jeez...

Kyo- Do it harder.

Shigure- ~Snicker~ That's what she said.

Kyo- _AGH!_

Yuki- Now, that's just sick Shigure.

(Tohru blushed and spun the bottle with more force, and it landed on Akito)

Akito- Great.

Tohru- (Determined) Okay! Truth or Dare Akito-san?

(Akito looked across the circle and noticed Shigure's eyes on his. He winked and mouthed the word, "Dare".)

Akito- Truth.

Shigure- **_BOO_**!

Akito- Shut it!

Tohru- Okay. Have you ever made a prank phone call?

Akito- Have _you_?

Shigure- ANSWER THE QUESTION AKITO!

Akito- Why?

Shigure- Because you picked truth! If you didn't want to answer a question, than you should have picked have chose dare.

Akito- Oh. Well, _dare_ then.

Shigure- No! It's too late for that!

Hatori- This is so much fun.

Ayame- I **_KNOW_** RIGHT! ^_^

Hatori- ~Sigh~

Akito- Ugh, fine then. Yes, I have made a prank phone call.

Shigure's thoughts- ***_Yeah, it was to me..._***

**_***_**  
**_FLASHBACK _**  
**_***_**

(Shigure sat reading the paper on his couch, he was ever so comfortable when he heard the phone ring. The phone happened to be two inches out of arms length, so when he pulled in the extra effort to grab it before it went to voice mail, he thought, "_This better be good_.")

Shigure- Hello? ^_^

????- Uh yeah, is this, **_Pepperoni Will Rule The World_**?

Shigure- No. Who is this?

????- I want to order a pizza.

Shigure- Well, I'm terribly sorry but you have the wrong number. Who is this?

????- I like pepperoni.

Shigure- ....

????- And cheese...

Shigure- WHO _IS_ THIS?!

--Click--

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAH!

(He had figured it out a day later when Akito was blabbing to Kureno over the phone about how he, "tricked Shigure so bad", his prank call should be put in the Book of World Records.)

**_***_**  
**_END OF FLASHBACK_**  
**_***_**

(Shigure shook his head at the thought when Tohru passed the bottle to Kyo)

(He spun and it landed on Ayame)

Ayame- OOH OOH _DARE_!!

Kyo- You didn't even let me ask yet.

Ayame- Oh...

Kyo- Ayame, truth or-

Ayame- **_DARE_**!! I WISH TO PERFORM A DARE! ^_^

Kyo- Fine. Ayame, I dare you to shut up until the bottle lands on you again.

(Ayame frowned but said nothing)

(Kyo chuckled as he passed the bottle onto Yuki who spun. The bottle turned twice before pointing to Ayame)

Kyo- WHAT THE _FUCK_?

Shigure- HAHAHA!

Ayame- YES! Ahahahahaha, I have fulfilled my dare, Lucky Kyo. ^_^

Kyo- This isn't possible!

(At the look of terror on Kyo's face, both Hatori and Akito stifled a laugh)

Yuki- Truth or Dare, Nii-san.

Ayame- (Proud) Truth.

Yuki- Was I switched at birth?

Ayame- ~GASP~ Why, of course _not_!

Yuki- Are you absolutely sure?

Ayame- YES! You are my brother dear Yuki and I love you! ^_^

Yuki- Dammit...

(With a sour expression Yuki passed the bottle to Hatori. He spun and it landed on Shigure)

Hatori- Truth or Dare?

Shigure- (Wicked Laugh) Dare.

Hatori- I dare you to crawl around the circle on all fours and say, "I'm a happy puppy," until you reach your spot again.

(The group fell silent before erupting with laughter)

Kyo- BLAHAHAHAHA! DID YOU COME UP WITH THAT ON YOUR OWN?!

Yuki- Way to go Hatori! That's great!

Hatori- Yes, yes, I know. ^_^

Shigure- You cannot really expect me to do that can you?

(Hatori himself began to chuckle)

Akito- **_DO IT_**!

Bobby- Do it, do it, do it, do it!

(The whole group began to chant relentlessly and Shigure still shook his head)

Shigure- No way.

Yuki- Shigure, if you don't do this, I swear when we get back I will flush all of your cigarettes down the toilet.

Shigure- _NO_!

(Shigure lowered his head with defeat and got down on all fours and slowly began to crawl around the circle)

Shigure- (Sniff) I'm a happy puppy...

Akito- (Snicker) **_LOUDER_**!

Shigure- I'M A HAPPY PUPPY!

(The circle once again blew up with laughter and this time added applause when Shigure finished crawling around them)

Kyo- Aha, now that wasn't so bad was it Shigure? ^_^

Akito- BLAHAHAHA! You were right Shigure, this IS fun! ^_^

Shigure- (Seething) You are ALL on my list....

(He shot his head to the right)

Shigure- Except Tohru.

Akito- Why does _she_ get a free pass?

Shigure- Because she's an angel. ^_^

Tohru- Thank you for the compliment, Shigure-san!

Shigure- No problem. ^_^

(As the time passed, Akito had been dared to take off his socks, (It was freezing cold outside) Bobby had plead truth to once having the hots for a man, Hatori had been dared to preform a strip tease (By Ayame) for which he refused and ultimately got vetoed out of the game, though he didn't seem to care. Shigure told about a time when he farted and blamed someone else, (It was Akito) Mine asked for a dare and led another uproar of laughter when she fulfilled it and ate a piece of soap from one of the bathrooms, and Tohru admitted to still being afraid of the dark)

(It was Shigure's turn to spin and it landed on Kyo)

Shigure- Truth or Dare? ^_^

Kyo- Aww, what the hell, I'll pick dare. ^_^

Shigure- I dare you to kiss Yuki.

(Silence)

Kyo- You..._what_?

Shigure- You heard me.

(Silence)

(Yuki and Kyo looked at each other)

Kyo- AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yuki- (Wheeze) HAHAHAHAHAHA (Choke) AAHAHAHAHA!

Kyo- (Joking) Oh no, you better **_pucker up_**, RatBoy! ^_^

Yuki- (Snicker) Oh yes, I am **_so _**ready for your lips, Cat-san! ^_^

(Kyo slapped him on the back and Yuki punched him on the arm, then both turned back to Shigure and gave him a high five)

Kyo- That was _rich_, Shigure. ^_^

Yuki- You truly are _hilarious_. ^_^

Shigure- Haha, I'm not kidding. ^_^

(Silence)

Kyo- **_FUCK, GROSS_**!

Yuki- **_NO WAY IN HELL_**!

Akito- DO _IT_!

Ayame- Oh gosh no! You should not kiss Lucky Kyo, Yuki dear!

Kyo and Yuki- I'M NOT KISSING **_HIM_**!!!

(Kyo and Yuki gave each other a look of disgust, stood up and marched away)

Shigure- Where are you going love-birds? ^_^

Kyo- FUCK YOU!

Yuki- SHIT FACE!

(Shigure flinched)

Shigure- Owww....

(Akito snickered and stood up)

Akito- That was fun. ^_^

Bobby- Well, I guess the game is over.

Shigure- Where are YOU going, Akito?

Akito- Mind your own business, snob. I'm going to sleep.

Shigure- (Winks) I'll be there soon.

(Akito shot him the finger and walked away with Bobby at his side. Mine and Tohru followed soon after, claiming that they were too sleepy to continue the game)

Ayame- I'll still play with you, Gure-san. ^_^

Shigure- Haha, you're all I want Aaya. ^_^

Ayame- **_Lover_**.

Shigure- **_Sex toy_**.

Hatori- I can fucking hear you!

Shigure- Hahahaha, ooops.... ^_^

THAT NIGHT

(The ship began to rock violently when everyone was asleep. A storm had started and Kyo had begun to wake up)

Kyo- Uh...I can't sleep with all of this moving around.

?????- I can't sleep at all...

Kyo- What?! Who was that?!

(Kyo looked around to see where the voice was coming from. Yuki, Tohru, Haru, Rin, Hatori, Shigure, Ayame, Mine, Bobby and Akito were all sleeping)

Kyo- (Whispering) Who's there?!

?????- You know who I am Kyo.

(Kyo jumped up)

Kyo- Who are you! SPEAK!

(Suddenly the door to the cabin slammed open, bringing in all of the rain from the storm. A soaking wet Kagura stood in the open doorway a strike of lightning cracking behind her)

Kyo- KAAAAAAAAAAGURAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Everyone lurched up, hearing Kyo's scream)

Yuki- OH GOD! WHAT HAPPENED?!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAH! WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!

Ayame- GOODNESS!

Mine- AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Tohru- OH MY GOSH! OH GOODNESS!

Kyo- HEEEEEEEEEELLLP MEEEEEEEEEE!

Shigure- WHAT IN THE-?!

Hatori- GOOD LORD!

Bobby- WHAT HAPPENED?! IS EVERYONE OKAY??

Haru- WHAT TIME IS IT?! WHO IN THE HELL IS SCREAMING?!

Rin- (Snore) Shut the hell up!

Kyo- HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP HELP! IT'S KAGURA!

Yuki- Kagura?

Shigure- What?

Bobby- Who's Kagura?

Tohru- KAGURA-SAN!! ^_^

Kagura- TOHRU-KUN!! ^_^

Kyo- Oh god...

(Tohru rushed up to Kagura and gave her a big hug)

Tohru- How did you get here?

Kagura- Haru snuck me on! He said Kyo wanted me to come, and to come out at exactly this time so I could surprise everyone! ^_^

Ayame- (Gasp) Snuck you on?! How dreadful!

Kyo- You little mother f-

Hatori- Haru, is this true? Did you sneak Kagura on board?

Haru- She's obviously delusional...

Kyo- Well I believe her! You _ass_!

Kagura- Yay, Kyo-kun believes me! ^_^

Shigure- Oh, hi Kagura, when did you get here? ^_^

Akito- You're so slow!

Yuki- Now that she's here, we might as well just let her stay.

Mine- Could someone shut the door? All of the water is coming in from the storm.

Bobby- Crap! I got it.

(Bobby jumped up and shut the door to the cabin)

Shigure- Since everyone is wide awake, why don't we have a party?! ^_^

Rin- (Snore)

Shigure- Well almost everybody...

Haru- Lets play poker!

Bobby- **_Strip_** poker! ^_^

Akito- AGH!

Hatori- STRIP POKER?!

Yuki- It's 4 a.m.!

Tohru- A game sounds fun. ^_^

Kyo- We are not playing strip poker.

Kagura- Why not Kyo?

Kyo- I have my reasons.

Akito- I agree with Kyo.

Haru- Kyo is just a scardy cat!

Kyo- WHAT?!

(Suddenly the boat tilted to the left and sent everyone flying in that direction. Shigure ended up on top of Akito, Ayame on top of Yuki and Kyo, Tohru landed on Bobby, Kagura who was still standing up when the ship tilted ended up tripping over the sleeping Rin and crashing into some of the luggage, and Hatori fell on Haru and almost transformed because he and Haru landed about a inch away from Tohru and Bobby)

Shigure- Well, this is nice. ^_^

Akito- RAH! GET OFF OF ME!

Yuki- AYAME YOU'RE CRUSHING MY FOOT!

Ayame- OH DEAREST BROTHER! I LOVE BEING SO CLOSE TO YOU! ^_^

Kyo- AYAME, THAT BETTER BE YOUR LEG!

Tohru- Oh my, I'm sorry!

(Tohru moved off of Bobby)

Bobby- That's okay, it wasn't your fault! ^_^

Kagura- Owww....

Rin- Huh? What's going on?

Kyo and Yuki- GET OFF OF ME AYAME!

Ayame- Okay, okay!

Akito- Move Shigure! Get off of my hair! MOVE!

Shigure- I'm moving, I'm moving! Jeez!

Mine- Hey everyone! I'm okay! ^_^

Ayame- That's wonderful Mine! ^_^

(Suddenly the ship shifted again, and everyone went rolling. Kyo ended up in the pile of luggage with Kagura, Yuki was smashed into Shigure, Bobby flew on top of Akito, Haru crashed into Rin, who had already been thrown on top of Ayame, Mine and Tohru tripped over each other and crashed into Hatori)

Kagura- OH KYO-KUN! ^_^

Kyo- GAAAAAH!

Yuki- GET OFF OF ME SHIGURE!

Akito- Bwahaha now you know how it feels! ^_^

Shigure- Sorry Yuki! ^_^

Yuki- God, how much weight did you gain?

Shigure- (Gasp) I HAVE NOT GAIN WEIGHT!

Akito- HA! Bobby get off of me please.

Bobby- Are you sure you want me off? ^_^

Akito- AGH!

Shigure- WHAT?!

Akito- GET OFF!

Bobby- Okay, okay!

Haru- Rin, are you alright?

Rin- Yeah, but I'm not so sure about Ayame.

Ayame- I cannot breathe...

Rin- Hahaha! ^_^

Ayame- Ugh...

Mine- Tohru-kun, are you okay?

Tohru- Yes, I'm fine. Are you okay Hatori-san?

Hatori- I'm just glad neither of you really fell _on_ me. No offense.

Tohru- None taken. ^_^

Shigure- Oh calm down Hatori. You know that if you changed into a sea horse we could just throw you into the ocean! ^_^

Hatori- Not....funny.....

Kyo- LEAVE ME ALONE KAGURA!

Kagura- Heeheehee! ^_^

(Everyone stood back up and steadied themselves in case off another shake)

Kyo- Well what the hell is wrong with the ship Hatori?

(Hatori shrugged)

Hatori- Don't ask me.

Rin- Maybe someone should go ask the Captain why he is steering the ship like a maniac.

Yuki- Good idea.

Bobby- I'll go guys!

(Bobby left the cabin for a moment)

Akito- He better have a damn good excuse for almost killing us!

Kagura- Yeah. My head hurts...

Kyo- You shouldn't even be here!

Kagura- But-!

(Suddenly the cabin door swung open and Bobby rushed in)

Shigure- So what did the Captain say?

Bobby- He didn't say anything. He isn't _there_!

Mine- What? Then who is steering the ship?!

Bobby- **_Nobody_**!

---

--BoyToy logs on--

--YankeeThug logs on--

BoyToy- Hey, Arisa. I miss you.

YankeeThug- I miss you too, Kureno.

BoyToy- Is it me, or do you feel like right at this moment, something is going terribly wrong?

YankeeThug- Hahaha, Kureno, you are such a worrywart! ^_^

BoyToy- Maybe you're right...

**---**

**A/N: DUN-DUN-DUN-DUN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SCARY! THE CAPTAIN IS GONE, OH NOS!! :) Read and review my lovelies. ;)**


	43. Chapter 43: Trapped on the Island

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait! REALLY SORRY! I don't know why bbut fanfic stopped allowing me to use my regular line breakers, so for now I will use zeros... BOO! :( Oh well, the wait has been too long, I know.**

**Love me still? :)**

**Enjoy.**

**000**

**Chapter 43: Trapped on the Island**

**000**

**Picking up where we left off...**

**000**

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kyo- WHAT?

Yuki- WHERE THE HELL IS THE CAPTAIN?

Mine- OH GOODNESS!

Bobby- WE HAVE TO STEER THE BOAT BY OURSELVES OR WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kagura- KYO-KUN WE MUST CONFESS OUR LOVE TO EACH OTHER NOW IF WE ARE GOING TO DIE!

Kyo- OH MY GOD WOMAN, THIS IS HARDLY THE TIME!

Haru- Everyone just shut up!

Rin- The boat is tilting!

(Shigure and Ayame rushed from the cabins and into the Captain's room. Shigure sat down and grabbed the wheel. Everyone else followed soon after)

Akito- WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING SHIGURE?

Shigure- What does it look like I'm doing? I'm going to steer the boat!

Yuki- YOU'RE GOING TO GET US ALL KILLED!

Mine- Where are we anyway?

Ayame- I have no idea.

Rin- Is there a map around?

Hatori- If we have been drifting for hours, who knows where we could be?

Bobby- What if we're no where near to Jamaica?

Hatori- I have a feeling that we might not reach Jamaica.

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAH!

Tohru- Oh no...

(Suddenly, with crack of lightning, the boat crashed into something hard. Everyone was thrown over the side and into the water)

Kyo- BLAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAA!

Tohru- AAAAAAAAH!

Akito- OH MY GOD! BLUUUUHAAAAA!

_**THREE HOURS LATER**_

(Akito slowly woke up, and then began to gag)

Akito- (COUGH) (CHOKE) (GAG)

(Akito opened his eyes to see that he was lying face down in some sand)

Akito- What the-? (CHOKE) (CHOKE)

(He spit out several globs sand that was stuck to the roof of his mouth)

Akito- AGH! WHAT THE HELL?

(Akito jumped up and looked around)

Akito- Where in the hell am I? What is this place?

(Akito suddenly recalled being throw from the ship)

Akito- (GASP) This must be heaven! I must be dead! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Akito thought for a moment)

Akito- Wait, if I'm dead, then why can I taste the yucky sand? OH MY GOD I SURVIVED THE CRASH!

(Akito looked around again)

Akito- Oh my god, was I the only one who survived? WHERE IS EVERYONE? OH NO! OH NO! POOR BOBBY! POOR SHIGURE!

Shigure- Why are you so upset? I'm right here.

Akito- WHAT?

(Akito spun around to see Shigure staring at him. Akito ran into his arms)

Akito- OH MY GOSH YOU'RE ALIVE! So where is everyone else?

Shigure- I don't know. We're going to have to look for them. Until then, it's just you and me Akito baby! ^_^

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**000**

(Kyo's head was pounding when he woke up)

Kyo- Ugh... Mere mag i?

(He took in a sharp breath and then began to choke and spit out mouth fulls of sand)

Kyo- BLUUUUUGAGAGA! BLAH! BLAH!

(When he finished spitting, Kyo, looked around. All he could see was pom trees behind him, and ocean in front of him)

Kyo- Where in the-? Oh my god! I survived the crash! I'm alive!

(Kyo looked around quickly)

Kyo- Oh my god, what about Tohru? TOHRU?

(Kyo began to run around frantically searching for any survivors, but mostly Tohru)

Kyo- Tohru? Somebody? ANYBODY? HELP!

?- I can see that you're finally awake. Quit yelling Kyo, that's not going to help us find anybody.

Kyo- Huh?

?- He's right Kyo-kun, we'll find everyone else. Don't you worry about a thing. We're here for you! ^_^

(Kyo looked up to see Yuki glaring at him and standing next to him was Kagura, smiling like a crazy woman)

Kyo- KAGURA? YUKI? I'M STUCK ON THIS ISLAND WITH YOU TWO?

Yuki- Well, yes. Until we can find everyone else, I guess it's just us...

Kagura- Hurray! ^_^

Kyo- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**000 **

(Akito and Shigure trugged along in the sand in search of everyone else)

Akito- I hate you Shigure.

Shigure- Now, why is that? ^_^

Akito- I told you that I didn't want to go on the damn trip, but you drugged me, and forced me to go. Better yet, you KIDNAPPED ME! If it weren't for you, I would be safe at home, in my nice warm bed by now. Hence, I hate you.

Shigure- But if you were at home, and you got news that my boat crashed wouldn't you be worried about me?

Akito- No...

Shigure- Liar. Isn't it much more fun to know I'm okay, and be lost with me, then it is to not know if I'm okay and be safe at home?

Akito- Huh? NO OF COURSE NOT! If you were lost, and I was at home, then I would just send some people out to find you. Simple.

Shigure- You do care! ^_^

Akito- Or...

Shigure- OR?

Akito- Or, I could leave you stranded, and never have to deal with your damn musical cards, strip videos, or nasty gifts ever again! ^_^ Haha, I like THAT one better! ^_^

Shigure- You wouldn't do that, you COULDN'T do that! ^_^

Akito- Oh really? And why not?

Shigure- Because...you would miss me too much! ^_^

(Akito choked)

Akito- AS IF!

(Before Shigure answered Akito caught his attention by pointing to something laying on the sand)

Akito- Look! That looks like a person! A _PERSON_!

(Akito and Shigure rushed over to the person, and Akito shouted in glee)

Akito- AAAAAAAAAAAH! HURRAY! HURRAY! BOBBY! IT'S BOBBY! ^_^

Shigure- (Gasp)

Bobby- Mmmm... Where am I? Akito? Hey there! ^_^

Akito- BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY BOBBY! ^_^

Shigure- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

**000**

(When Rin awoke, she was under a huge pom tree)

Rin- What the hell? Where am I?

(She then remembered the crash)

Rin- Huh...I survived. COOL! ^_^

(She looked around and saw that someone had started a nice little camp fire next to her)

Rin- So someone else is here with me...but who?

(Rin got up and began walking around the large island)

Rin- Hello? Anyone here? Hello?

(Suddenly, Rin saw Tohru walk out of the shadows)

Rin- Oh, hey!

Tohru- Hello Rin-san, you're finally awake! ^_^

Rin- Yeah. So it was you who started the fire?

Tohru- Yes. ^_^ I thought that maybe when you woke up, we could go exploring, and see if we could find the others.

Rin- Wait, you mean it's just you and me?

Tohru- Yes! ^_^

Rin- Good god...

Tohru- Don't worry Rin! We'll have an awesome time together! ^_^

Rin- That's what I'm worried about...

Tohru- Huh?

Rin- Nothing. Lets go look for the others.

Tohru- Okay! ^_^

(Tohru and Rin set off to the west to find some of the others)

_**THAT NIGHT**_

(Akito sat shivering by the fire)

Akito- I'm cold.

Shigure- We all are Akito-san. ^_^

Bobby- Of course Shigure's heart makes it all the more colder. ^_^

Shigure- Watch what you say to me Booby. ^_^

(Akito choked)

Bobby- What did you call me?

Shigure- You heard me. _Booby_.

Bobby- STOP THAT!

Akito- I'm hungry.

Bobby- We don't have anything to eat Akito. Sorry.

Akito- Dammit...

Bobby- But if Shigure keeps acting like he is, maybe we can roast him.

Akito- (Gasp) **_GROSS_**!

Shigure- If anyone gets eaten, it isn't going to be me.

Akito- I'm cold.

Shigure- We know Akito. You told us already.

(Bobby took of his shirt)

Bobby- You can use this Akito-san. ^_^

Akito- Bobby! You're so kind!

Shigure- Booby is a suck up, Booby is a suck up!

Bobby- BE QUIET YOU!

Shigure- Make me!

Akito- I'm hungry.

Shigure- Akito. We. Have. No. Food.

Akito- Well why don't you go out there and get me some?

(Shigure pointed into the darkness)

Shigure- Me? Go out there? You must be crazy!

Akito- The water is right over there! Go catch some sharks!

Shigure- NO!

Akito- Or a fish!

Shigure- _NO_!

Akito- Maybe a lobster?

Shigure- No Akito. I'm not a good fisherman.

Akito- What about some clams?

Shigure- No. I will find us some fruit.

Akito- Fruit sucks...

(Shigure walked off to go find some fruit, and after awhile he found some fruit that looked like peaches, so he brought it back to Akito and Bobby)

Shigure- Okay, here's dinner! Dig in! ^_^

(Bobby and Akito just stared at the so called peaches)

Akito- But...what if that fruit is poisonous?

(Shigure shrugged)

Shigure- Tell Bobby to take a bite first.

Bobby- WHAT?

Shigure- You heard me, take a bite.

Bobby- Hell no! Why don't you?

Shigure- Cause if I die, Akito would actually be upset! ^_^

Akito- HA! ^_^

Shigure-You know that you would!

Akito- Whatever. You two are big babies. Why don't we all take a bite?

Shigure- I don't want to die with Booby!

Bobby- Well I don't want to die with you, Shit-gure!

(Akito shoved a piece of fruit into Bobby and Shigure's hands, then he picked up one himself)

Akito- Shut up, everyone is going to take a bite on three, okay?

Shigure- Fine...

Bobby- Alright...

Akito- 1...2...3!

(Everyone took a bite. Shigure glared at Bobby for a moment)

Shigure- Did you swallow yours?

Bobby- No, of course not!

Akito- BOBBY!

Shigure- Hahaha, I didn't swallow mine either! ^_^

Akito- GAH! WAS I THE ONLY ONE WHO SWALLOWED?

Bobby- Akito, I thought you were kidding. Did you actually swallow the fruit?

Akito- (GASP) (GASP) YES!

Shigure- AGH! SPIT IT OUT!

Akito- I CAN'T!

Shigure- DAMMIT AKITO!

Bobby- Oh my god, Shigure look what you did!

Shigure- ME?

Akito- I'M GOING TO DIE, I'M GOING TO DIE, I'M GOING TO DIE!

(Akito lurched to his feet and rushed out into the middle of the beach)

Shigure- Akito? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

(Akito ripped off his clothes and stood butt ass naked in the wind)

Akito- IF I'M GOING TO DIE, THAN THE WORLD SHOULD KNOW! I AM A WOMAN!

Shigure- Oh jeez.

**000**

(Yuki and Kyo stared at the terrible sight)

(It was nothing they had ever seen before)

(It was horrible)

(It was disgusting)

(Kyo squeaked. He couldn't believe his eyes)

Kyo- Do you..._see_?

(Yuki nodded, his eyes widening)

Kyo- (Squeal) IT'S A FUCKING **_CRAB_**!

Yuki- I KNOW AND KAGURA IS _TOUCHING_ IT!

Kagura- (Poke) Well, we have to eat _something_!

Kyo- NYAH! YOU KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!

Kagura- (Shoving crab in Kyo's face) Hahahahaha, you don't like the crabbie?

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Yuki dashes away and finds some round yellow fruit sitting on a tree nearby)

Yuki- Gah, why don't we just eat some of this?

Kyo- AWAAAAAY FROM MEEEEEE!

Yuki- (Sigh) We're going to die here, aren't we?

**000**

(Tohru and Rin were walking around the island enjoying the view when they came across two shadowy figures lurking behind some trees)

Tohru- Ummm, is someone there?

?- Why hello there, Tohru dear.

?- KIYA! YOU'RE ALIVE! ^_^

(Mine and Ayame slowly walked out from behind their hiding spot, and to Tohru's and Rin's shock, were wearing nothing but outfits made of leaves and coconuts)

Tohru- Ummm...Ayame-san?

Ayame- Yes dear? ^_^

Tohru- Where do you suppose-

Rin- Where the _hell_ are your real clothes?

(Ayame swiped the air)

Ayame- Ohhohhoo, if we are going to create a life here on the island, we must be wearing the appropriate attire. ^_^

Rin- I don't know about you, but I am NOT staying on this island.

Mine- Would you to like me to make you some coconut bras? ^_^

Tohru- Well...

Rin- Hell. No.

Mine- Humph. I suppose I'll make them anyway.

(Mine's eyes gleamed and Ayame shook his head in amusement)

Mine- You both would look...so charming...in these outfits...

(She rushed up to Tohru)

Mine- So very...charming...

Rin- GAH!

Tohru- Ahhahaha...Alright, Mine-san, you can make me one for sure!

Mine- GREAT! ^_^

Ayame- MARVELOUS! ^_^

Rin- Jeez.

Mine- We'll all be island hotties! ^_^

Ayame- True you are, Mine. ^_^

**000**

(Ren had thought that her plan had been brilliant: Seek on the ship, torment that evil child of hers, get some with Shigure, and all the while being able to do so because she would have snuck on the ship and landed in pretty Jamaica)

(She ended up doing one of the two; successfully sneaking into the boat and hiding out through the night. But what she didn't understand was when she walked out on deck, the ship was practically beached, the contents of the large thing spilled about the sand and water below her)

(She shrugged)

Ren- Perhaps we crashed...

(She stepped down from the boat with ease, surprised that she had not awakened when the impact happened. How lucky she was!)

(She looked around)

Ren- Where is everyone?

**000**

-Yuki'sNOAAFHPBHITGTOTE logs on-

-Yuki'sFan#1 logs on-

-Yuki'sFan#2 logs on-

Yuki'sNOAAFHPBHITGTOTE- So girls, are we all ready and packed to go to the island resort?

Yuki'sFan#1- Omg, totally! I can't wait! ^_^

Yuki'sFan#2- Everything I own makes my butt look too big!

Yuki'sFan#1- Trust me honey, it's not your clothes.

Yuki'sFan#2- What?

Yuki'sFan#1- All I'm saying is that you have been eating a LOT of doughnuts lately...

Yuki'sFan#2- Are you saying I'm fat?

Yuki'sFan#1- Well, no, but-

Yuki'sFan#2- YOU ARE!

Yuki'sFan#1- No, not necessarily, just mentioning like a true friend that you have put on a couple of pounds...

Yuki'sFan#2- NO, YOU'RE SAYING-

Yuki'sNOAAFHPBHITGTOTE- GIRLS! SHUT UP! We are going to have so much fun at the island, no matter how much we way or look like. This is for US!

Yuki'sFan#2- YEAH! And I'm NOT fat! ^_^

Yuki'sFan#1- Mmmhmmm...

Yuki'sFan#2- HEY!

Yuki'sNOAAFHPBHITGTOTE- QUIET! Don't even start this ridiculous fighting again, and lets GO! ^_^

**000**

**A/N: Hahaha, sorry for the wait, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please read and review. Worth the wait? :) If you're wondering, I had to abbreviate Mitoko's name cause it was to long and fanficiton was being a butt about it. It really is: Yuki's Number One Always And Forever His Princess Because He Is The Greatest Thing On This Earth (Without the spaces). _Phew_. That's a mouthful! :)**


	44. Chapter 44: Tropical Paradise

**A/N: And the crazy/wacky adventure continues! I cannot believe how many people have supported me on this story. Thank you so very much. I have been asked many times when I am going to end this story, and my answer to that is NOT anytime soon. I think I want this to be a story that drags on, considering everyone seems to love it so much. I'll tell you a secret though. If you are desperate for a number, I will tell you. I want the story to hit the 100 chapters mark before I even think about closing it down. :) I don't know if there is any other fanfic on this site that has gotten a story to 100 chapters; if so true, I want to be the first. I have no desire to stop this fanfic, and as all of you fans have spoken, you have no desire for it to end! At least, not for a LONG time! Do not fret, fellow fans. Furuba Chatroom Story is here to stay. :)**

**Damn. Sorry for the long note. ENJOY!**

**000**

**Chapter 44: Tropical Paradise**

**000**

(Up ahead he saw something)

(As he drew closer, he saw something better)

Haru- Hmmm. What is this I wonder?

(Haru looks down to see what looked to be fancy lawn chairs, and a picnic that could feed a thousand rich people. There were platters filled with exotic foods that he had never seen before and a nice little house about twenty meters from the sweet looking set up)

(Suddenly, two men dressed to look like butlers walked out from behind the pom trees)

Butler #1- Uhhh... Welcome to the Island Resort, Pacific Fantasies. Are you... Motoko-san?

(They ushered to the house he had laid his eyes upon earlier)

Butler #2- This facility has been rented out under the name, Motoko. We are here to provide you with the island trip of your dreams, considering that is what you paid for.

(Haru glanced at all of the luxuries. Something in the backround caught his eye)

Haru- Is that a pool?

Butler #1- Umm... yes. That is where you will be receiving your back rub and skin treatment. We have a very large spa area especially for rejuvenating and refreshing your senses and mind.

(Both of them fidgeted)

Butler #2- You...are Motoko, are you not?

(Haru flashed a grin)

Haru- Yep. That's me. ^_^

**000**

Akito- Hungry.

Shigure- Tired.

Bobby- Bored.

Shigure- Akito, the last time you ate something your were throwing up purple for an hour.

Bobby- After you stripped down in the wind, don't forget that part.

Shigure- Well, I was going to say it before you interrupted me.

Bobby- Well, you should've said it faster.

Shigure- Well _**YOU**_-

Akito- SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU! I'm alive, clothed, and HUNGRY! So someone, be a man and-

Shigure- (Snicker)

Akito- Why are you laughing?

Bobby- Yeah, what's so funny?

Shigure- Oh nothing, I was just thinking about what life would be like if you really WERE a man.

Akito- I am a man, shut it.

Shigure- (Chuckle)

Bobby- So what if Akito was really a man, what of it?

Shigure- Well, I guess that would make him GAY.

Akito- HUH?

Shigure- Because if you were a man, you still wouldn't be able to resist me! Hahaha! ^_^

Akito- (Whispering) Yeah? And you'd take it like a bitch...

Shigure- What was that, Gumdrop? ^_^

Akito- Nothing, SnickerDoodle. ^_^

Bobby- I am sorta hungry too. Maybe we should try to find the others.

Akito- Maybe the others are dead. ^_^

Shigure- That's not nice, Akito.

Akito- I never said it was, Shigure. Now, I command you-

Shigure- HA! YEAH RIGHT!

Akito- (Seething) Get me some food!

Shigure- Give me a kiss first.

Bobby- Yuck! Don't do it!

Shigure- Hush you! What do you say, Akito-san? Wanna pucker up? ^_^

(Shigure made a kissing noise and Akito flinched)

Akito- I'd rather starve, thank you.

Shigure- You're so mean! We haven't had any physical contact since Christmas time!

Akito- Good! And that's the way it's going to stay.

Shigure- BOOHOO!

Akito- Yeah, whatever, get over it.

Shigure- You are just NO FUN!

Akito- I am too fun.

Shigure- HA! That's probably the funniest thing you've ever said in your life!

Akito- (GASP) That's not true! Take it back!

Shigure- HELL no!

Akito- Ugh, forget you then!

Shigure- You love me and you-

Akito- Uhhh... Where is Bobby?

(Shigure looks around)

Shigure- Huh? Oh, maybe he went to get some food.

(He scooted closer)

Shigure- (Winking) And in doing so, he graciously gave us some alone time.

Akito- Touch me and I'll cut off your favorite appendage.

(He lurched away, gasping in horror)

Shigure- No! Not my fingers!

Akito- Hah. Yeah, sure. Fingers.

(Scooting back to his original position, Shigure slid his hand up Akito's thigh, moving his fingers towards the buttons of his pants)

(A shiver crept up Akito's spine)

Shigure- But without my fingers-

Akito- NAAAAAAAH! THAT'S IT!

(Shigure jumped up and starting running)

Shigure- NO!

Akito- Get back over here! And while you're at it, hand me that sharp rock!

**000**

Hatori- Ughhhhhhh...

(He woke up disoriented)

Hatori- Where in the world-?

?- Don't worry, Hatori-san. I'm here for you.

(Hatori looked to his right and jumped)

Hatori- REN-SAN?

**000**

Butler #1- Uh...sir?

Haru- Hmmm?

Butler #1- Enjoying your seaweed wrap?

Haru- Mmmhmmm. ^_^ Could you pass the lemon-aid?

(Butler #2 hands him the ice cold drink)

Haru- You people are spectacular. I am so glad that I chose this place for my vacation. ^_^

Butler #2- Um, sir?

Haru- Call me Motoko. ^_^

Butler #2- Well, Motoko, we were wondering...

(The butler men exchange a nervous glance)

Butler #1- Did you want the...strip tease?

Butler #2- You did order it, after all...

Butler #1- It's on the list-

Haru- Strip tease? Hell yes! ^_^ Where are the strippers?

Butler #1- Well...

(Butler number two shed his jacket)

Butler #2- We are the strippers.

(Haru was quiet)

Haru- Oh.

Butler #1- So...

Haru- Huh. That's funny.

Butler #1 and #2- ...

(Haru lays back in his chair, grinning)

Haru- Well, get on with it then. ^_^

**000**

Motoko- KIYA! WE'RE ALMOST THERE, I CAN SEE IT GIRLS! ^_^

Mi- (Squealing) Oh I can't wait to get pampered!

Mai- Yeah, this is going to be SO much fun! I totally need a tan.

Mi- (Nodding) You do.

Mai- What are you saying now?

Mi- Nothing, I-

(Motoko bristled)

Motoko- (Growling) DON'T. EVEN. START.

Mi- Yikes! Okay.

Mai- (Sniffle) I miss Vice President Minami. :(

Motoko- (Nodding) That was completely out of no where, but yes, I do too. Remember that this trip is for her as well.

(Mi wiped tears away)

Mai- Yes, what happened to her was awful.

(Motoko shook her head)

Motoko- Truly tragic.

Mi- HORRIBLE!

(After a quick moment of silence, Motoko clapped her hands)

Motoko- (Smiling) Well, now. Let's not let that dreary tale bring us down! This is going to be the greatest vacation ever! ^_^

Mi- YEAH! ^_^

Mai- FO SHO!

(Silence)

Motoko- Fo...sho?

Mi- ...

Mai- Y-Y-Y'know, like...for sure?

Motoko- (Nodding slowly) Hmm...

Mai- Haha...

(Motoko walked over to #2 and placed a hand on her shoulder)

Motoko- Listen, I'm going to tell you this nicely-

Mi- YOU'RE NOT BLACK!

Motoko- Mmhm, thank you #1. And #2, never say that again.

Mai- Y-Yes ma'am!

(Motoko walked over to the window of the small but spacious boat)

Motoko- I cannot wait.

**000**

(Kyo eyed his target. He knew that he was fast enough)

(But the enemy was faster)

(He crouched, knowing that he was being watched)

(Tested)

(He could do this)

(He _would_ do this)

Kyo- One, two...

(He charged)

Kyo- THREE!

(He was about to make it to the object of his desire: A strange looking rope protruded from the sand, but the enemy was too fast, causing him to shriek and run back the way he came)

Kyo- OH MY GOD!

(Yuki scowled from behind him)

Yuki- Jeez, Cat-san, you have been trying to get the rope for twenty minutes, just GRAB IT!

Kyo- (Pant) (Pant) You have no idea how scared I was!

Yuki- Oh please, it's just a wave!

(Kyo glared at the now stilling waters. They were covered with a slight layer of foam, looking very threatening. It was as if they were daring him to try and get the rope)

Kyo- But, I don't want to get wet.

Kagura- Heehee! ^_^

Kyo- (Glare) What's _YOUR_ problem?

Kagura- Oh nothing, Kyo-kun. Heeheehee...

Kyo- You're not even supposed to be here...

Kagura- Say what, love? ^_^

Kyo- Ehehe, nothing...

(Kyo shuddered and then went back to glaring at the rope)

Kyo- Don't you even wonder what the ropes attached too? Maybe something is buried down there...

Yuki- Uh, no, not really. While you're over here screaming about some _water_-

Kyo- It was HUGE!

Yuki- Yeah, anyways, I am too busy trying to find us some food and make a distress signal. I have no desire to join in your petty game of chase.

Kyo- You make me sound idiotic!

Yuki- You do that for yourself.

Kagura- (Gasp) Yuki! That's mean...

Yuki- Perhaps, but it is the truth.

Kyo- I will shove a coconut up your ass if you don't take that back!

(Yuki turned away, rolling his eyes)

Yuki- Oh, shut up.

Kyo- Grrrrr...

(Kyo snatched up a coconut from the ground)

Kagura- No Kyo! We need those for supper!

Yuki- What the- GET OFF OF ME YOU CREEP!

Kagura- Kyo-kun, stop that!

Yuki- HOLY HELL! GET OFF! GET OFF!

Kyo- I warned you!

Yuki- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Kagura's attitude shifted, her eyes darkening)

Kagura- EVERYONE. STOP. _**NOWWWWWW**_...

(Kyo dropped the fruit and stopped trying to rip away Yuki's pants)

Kyo- (Squeak) M'kay.

Kagura sighed and smiled

Kagura- That's a good boy, Kyo. ^_^

Yuki- Fucking weirdo...

Kyo- What was that?

Yuki- You heard me!

Kyo- Why-

Kagura- KYOOOOOOOO...

Kyo- (Nervous laughter) Ahaahaaa...

(Ignoring Kagura's sadistic smile, Kyo went back to staring at the waves)

(This time he would get it)

(He rushed forward, only to be pounded into the sand by the biggest wave of them all)

Kyo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Yuki- (Sigh)

Kagura- Do you suppose we should just get it for him?

Yuki- Nah, let's keep watching him try. ^_^

**000**

(Hatori inched backwards)

Hatori- Ren-san, what are you doing here?

Ren- Oh, well, when I figured out you and Shigure and Ayame were all going on a cruise I decided to sneak on the ship with you. ^_^

Hatori- (Muttering) _Two_ stowaways?

Ren- Hmmm? ^_^

Hatori- Uh, nothing. How long have I been out?

(Ren crawled closer)

Ren- Too long for my liking.

Hatori- Ren, I don't think-

Ren- Let's do it.

(Hatori jumped to his toes)

Hatori- No. Absolutely not.

(Ren stood as well)

Ren- (Pouting) Why not?

Hatori- Do you even have to ask?

(Ren swiped her hand threw the air as if to shoo away his fear)

Ren- Oh c'mon. Just forget about my stupid child.

(She smiled)

Ren- I can make you forget anything. Just ask Shigure.

(Way too many images that Hatori did not want came rushing into his mind. He winced and tried to shake them all away. The last thing he needed was to think about Shigure and Ren having sex. Gross)

Hatori- Oh wow. No, I'd rather not. In fact, I have no idea where Shigure is. Would you like to go look-

Ren- We could stay here; just the two of us.

(She slinked closer, a predatory gleam in her eyes)

(Hatori crossed his arms)

Hatori- Ren-san, I am not going to sleep with you.

(She shrugged)

Ren- Fine. Don't do anything.

(She licked her lips)

Ren- Just stay still.

Hatori- I said-

(Ren lunged forward)

Hatori- AAAAAAAH!

**000**

-YankeeThug logs on-

YankeeThug- Hello?

-BlackFlower logs on-

BlackFlower- Good morning, Arisa. Have you heard from our dear Tohru?

YankeeThug- Ugh. No. And that's what's pissing me off. She told me that she would call as soon as she got on the stupid boat. What the hell?

BlackFlower- Perhaps she is sleeping?

YankeeThug- Oh well. Then one of those dorks should've called us. Prince boy should-

-PrinceYukiLover#25 logs on-

PrinceYukiLover#25- Is someone talking about the highly cherished, noble and perfect, temptation and lust driving, absolutely gorgeous Prince Yuki?

BlackFlower- It's another one.

YankeeThug- I hate these girls!

PrinceYukiLover#25- Hating me should not be the top priority on your list! If you know where the Prince has gone and are harboring much needed information from the Prince Yuki Fan Club you and your friends will be severely punished!

BlackFlower- Just look at their determination. I can practically feel their need to be with the Prince. It tickles my senses.

PrinceYukiLover#25- Ugh! You freaks!

YankeeThug- I think it's fun watching them squirm. ^_^

BlackFlower- Indeed.

PrinceYukiLover#25- We know that Yuki Sohma has left the state to go on a vacation with his family. We demand to know where he is, and if the witch Tohru Honda is close by. If that is the case, then I must alert-

YankeeThug- Oh! Do you want to know what I ate for breakfast?

BlackFlower- Please share.

PrinceYukiLover#25- H-Hey! I was speaking to you two!

YankeeThug- I had some Lucky Charms! God, they were delicious. My favorite are the little pots of gold! ^_^

BlackFlower- I happen to enjoy the Halloween edition where the hearts come in black.

PrinceYukiLover#25- I'm telling you-

BlackFlower- It pleases me to eat CocoaPuffs, though.

YankeeThug- OH YUCK. Chocolate for breakfast?

BlackFlower- Yes. My favorite.

PrinceYukiLover#25- LISTEN TO ME!

YankeeThug- Oh, you're still here? Go away.

PrinceYukiLover#25- ACK! I am trying to speak to you!

BlackFlower- Your empty threats have been noted. What more do you want?

PrinceYukiLover#25- Answers!

YankeeThug- To what?

PrinceYukiLover#25- TO THE LOCATION OF OUR DARLING PRINCE YUKI!

BlackFlower- You expect us to know?

PrinceYukiLover#25- W-W-Well, yes. You two are friends of Tohru Honda's, after all.

YankeeThug- Hah. Like we would tell you anyway.

PrinceYukiLover#25- NAAAAH!

BlackFlower- They truly are amusing.

-KimiIsPretty logs on-

-AyameIsTheGreatest logs on-

-MogetaFan logs on-

YankeeThug- Hmm? Do you suppose they're more fans?

BlackFlower- No. None of them have the sexual desire.

PrinceYukiLover#25- Sexual- _what_?

BlackFlower- Well, except one. But his desire is not for the Prince.

AyameIsTheGreatest- _**AYAME-KUUUUUUUUUUUUN**_! KIYAAAAA! ^_^

YankeeThug- Hn.

KimiIsPretty- Machi, do you think I should wear the pink or the white dress to the party tonight? ^_^

MogetaFan- I don't really care but-

PrinceYukiLover#25- MACHI! YOU MUST KNOW WHERE THE PRINCE HAS GONE! THE PRINCE YUKI FAN CLUB HAS FOOTAGE OF YOU AND THE PRINCE WALKING AROUND THE CAMPUS LAST WEEK! HE MUST HAVE TOLD YOU-

YankeeThug- Just ignore these losers. They'll eventually go away. ^_^

MogetaFan- Oh, I know. ^_^

PrinceYukiLover#25- AAAAAAAAGH!

AyameIsTheGreatest- OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! Do you KNOW where Ayame-kun has gone, Kimi?

KimiIsPretty- OOH YES!

PrinceYukiLover#25- *Immediate Interest* DO TELL!

BlackFlower- If you would like to keep every appendage that dangles below your waist, AyameIsTheGreatest, you will hold your tongue and pray that I don't cut it off and shove it up another part of your body. ^_^

AyameIsTheGreatest- Must...have...slipped my mind...

KimiIsPretty- Well, I don't know where Ayame-kun went to, but I do know that Yuki and his family were headed to Jamaica! ^_^

BlackFlower- ...

KimiIsPretty- Well I think that I will where the pink dress! ^_^ Byebye Machi!

-KimiIsPretty logs off-

PrinceYukiLover#25- Hmmhmmhmm...

YankeeThug- Greaaaat.

PrinceYukiLover#25- MUAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I MUST INFORM LEADER MOTOKO-SAMA TO CHANGE THE COURSE OF HER BOAT! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA! I WILL BE REWARDED IN THE HIGHEST! AHAHAAHHA! :)

-PrinceYukiLover#25 logs off-

MogetaFan- Well, that sucks.

AyameIsTheGreatest- Well, Yuki better come back soon, that's for sure. Because when he comes home-

MogetaFan- NOT AGAIN!

AyameIsTheGreatest- AYAME-KUN WILL RETURN WILL HIM! ~SQUEAL~ I CAN'T WAIT! Come on Machi, let's go make a welcome home poster! ^_^

MogetaFan- He's not due back for another two weeks, dummy.

AyameIsTheGreatest- OH WELL. Let's get started anyways! ^_^

-AyameIsTheGreatest logs off-

MogetaFan- Sigh.

-MogetaFan logs off-

YankeeThug- I wonder what those idiot FanGirls think that they are going to do...

BlackFlower- I do not know.

YankeeThug- Whatever they have planned, I'm sure Tohru will be alright.

BlackFlower- Yes. We must not dread over the FanClub.

YankeeThug- I don't know. I just feel so...off...

BlackFlower- Hmm...

000

-PrinceYukiLover#25 logs into the PrinceYuki Chatroom-

PrinceYukiLover#25- Motoko-Senpai? I hope she brought her laptop...

Motoko- Speak.

PrinceYukiLover#25- GASP! What happened to your beautiful user name?

Motoko- Gone for the time being. Have you any information?

PrinceYukiLover#25- Yes, yes! The Prince is in Jamaica! ^_^

Motoko- ...

PrinceYukiLover#25- A-Are you not pleased with my info?

Motoko- Where do you think my girls and I are headed? I already knew that the Prince is here. That is why I booked a beautiful resort in the area. DUH.

PrinceYukiLover#25- W-WHAT?

Motoko- Your information is useless to me.

PrinceYukiLover#25- But- But- I wanted so badly to be promoted to number two!

Motoko- Hah! If you were that high up on the FanClub scale, you would be accompanying me on the cruise. I have no use for you in the Club. Everything that you have told me is already well known and documented. Is there anything else you know before you are dismissed of your duties?

PrinceYukiLover#25- No...

Motoko- Fine then. Leave. Do not associate yourself with us anymore. And stay away from the Prince.

-Motoko logs off-

PrinceYukiLover#25- ...

-PrinceYukiLover#25 logs off-

**000**

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait. Back to school for me, so I haven't had much time on my hands. I hope this one was worth the wait. Show me your love! :)**

_**~REVIEW FOR ME~ **__**  
Always,**_  
_**Charlie-Senpai 3**_


	45. Chapter 45: Nuts Part 1

**A/N: Hey guys it's Charlie-Senpai with the newest chappie of Furuba Chatroom Story. :) Before we get into the hysterical laugher, I just wanna say a couple of things. First off, my computer is doing a tad better than normal. HURRAY. ;P Second, I want everyone to know that I love and cherish each review I receive, but from now on in each chapter I will have some ~special thanks~ areas for some reviews that jumped out at me, or to a review where someone wanted me to reply to. So here we go. **

**~Special Thanks~**

**~saza**

_**Hon, you are not annoying me in the least! XD Thank you so very much for your constant support and reviewing. I enjoy hearing what you think and I don't care how many reviews it takes for you to do it. :)**_

**~MaddieLovesFuruba**

_**I love the musical cards as well! :P Thank you for your reviews. I enjoy hearing the parts of my story that jump out at you. Please don't hesitate if you want to inform me of things you liked in my story, because I love it when my reviewers do that. So, THANK YOU. ^_^**_

**~Akito Rose Keen**

_**I am glad that you and your friends are enjoying my story. I hope you will continue to receive many more laughs from it. :) Thank you for your kind and entertaining reviews. It makes me smile to read them.**_

**Again, thanks SO much.**

**Now, on with the story!**

**000**

**Chapter 45: Nuts Part 1**

**000**

-LadyStripes logs on-

-BaaaaaadBoy logs on-

LadyStripes- Hiro, when do you think Sissy will call? Don't you think she should be at the island by now?

BaaaaaadBoy- Who cares about her? Man, the stupid grownups didn't even invite us to go along with them.

LadyStripes- But Sissy deserved the vacation...

BaaaaaadBoy- Yeah? Well so do I.

LadyStripes- But Hiro-san-

BaaaaaadBoy- OKAY, Kisa, I'm sorry I even said anything. You're right. She does deserve the vacation and I'm sure she'll call you as soon as she is able.

LadyStripes- Do...you really mean that?

BaaaaaadBoy- (Sigh) Yes.

LadyStripes- (Smiles) Thank you, Hiro-san. ^_^

BaaaaaadBoy- (Blush)

-VineSwinger logs on-

VineSwinger- Why, hello little Hiro and little Kisa! ^_^

LadyStripes- Good afternoon, Ritsu-san.

BaaaaaadBoy- HEY! I am not little!

VineSwinger- AAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU ARE RIGHT! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT THAT YOU ARE NOT LITTLE! YOU ARE NOT LITTLE IN THE LEAST AND I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!

LadyStripes- Hiro...

BaaaaaadBoy- Oh, crap...

VineSwinger- I'M SO SOOOOOORRRRRRRRY!

-VineSwinger logs off-

BaaaaaadBoy- What a WEIRDO. He gives me the heebeegeebees. With all his woman clothing and whatnot.

LadyStripes- Still, you should have treated him a little nicer. Ritsu-san can't help his problems...

BaaaaaadBoy- WELL-

-BoyToy logs on-

-YankeeThug logs on-

BoyToy- And I told her that there was more than fifty percent of peanut butter in what she was eating and she was like no way!

YankeeThug- Really? I love peanut butter!

BoyToy- You- You do?

YankeeThug- Yes. I mean, everyone should. Doesn't anyone realize how perfect it is with jelly?

BoyToy- (Giddy Laughter)

BaaaaaadBoy- Uh, HELLO? Earth to dipshits, this is a PRIVATE conversation.

LadyStripes- (GASP) Hiro-san!

BoyToy- Oh, Hiro-san and Kisa-san. I didn't realize-

YankeeThug- Hiro, huh? You're that puny brat from the dinner aren't you? The one that couldn't get enough entertainment so he started throwing bread rolls at the adults. What a loser.

BoyToy- Arisa, I wouldn't-

BaaaaaadBoy- OH, please. You're that butch looking girl that hangs out with the creepy Goth and Tohru and you're calling me a loser? Not to mention the fact that your dating a peanut butter freak! You're both freaks.

LadyStripes- !

BoyToy- Hiro! That isn't very-

YankeeThug- Okay, okay little boy, you wanna play in the big leagues?

BaaaaaadBoy- (Gleam) A challenge?

LadyStripes- Hiro-san, don't-

YankeeThug- You sure have a big mouth for such a pissy ass squirt. You trying to compensate for something?

BaaaaaadBoy- Am I WHAT?

YankeeThug- Oh, I'm sorry. Of course you wouldn't know what that meant, you're like in what, second grade? Have you hit puberty yet? Want mommy to explain the birds and the bees to you?

BaaaaaadBoy- I'm thirteen, you overgrown beanstalk! Of course I know about- THAT. You wanna talk about growing? Mind explaining that gaping empty space on your chest?

YankeeThug- Kureno likes my "empty space" just fine.

BoyToy- ACK!

BaaaaaadBoy- GROSS!

YankeeThug- Don't you Kureno?

BoyToy- I- uh...

YankeeThug- DON'T YOU, Kureno?

BoyToy- Y-Yes, I suppose I d-

YankeeThug- There you have it. Too much for your virgin ears, Little Punk?

BaaaaaadBoy- You're the punk!

YankeeThug- Ohohhoho, now he's throwing my shots back at me! I'm quaking here, shrimp, I really am.

BaaaaaadBoy- It's your huge freaking feet that's causing the ground to quake! Why don't you go back to your family of giants and stay there!

YankeeThug- Yeah? At least I can see the sun from here. How's the weather down there squirt? Dark and gloomy?

BaaaaaadBoy- I-

LadyStripes- HIRO! Stop it!

BaaaaaadBoy- ...

YankeeThug- AW. I believe we have a winner. ^_^

BaaaaaadBoy- Don't think this is done with, you skyscraper.

YankeeThug- Oh, certainly not, sweetie. Now run along to mommy; she must be looking for you by now. It's past your bedtime.

BaaaaaadBoy- Grrrrrr...

-BaaaaaadBoy logs off-

LadyStripes- I am sorry.

YankeeThug- Hey, no problem kid. ^_^

-LadyStripes logs off-

BoyToy- ...

YankeeThug- THAT, was fun. ^_^

BoyToy- Wow...

YankeeThug- Well, the brat had it coming.

BoyToy- You know...that was actually...

YankeeThug- Inappropriate? Yeah, yeah, I know. I probably shouldn't have-

BoyToy- Pretty sexy...

YankeeThug- Hehe. Really?

BoyToy- Mmmhmm.

YankeeThug- Hm...

BoyToy- (Suggestive wink)

-YankeeThug logs off-

-BoyToy logs off-

BACK ON THE ISLAND

(Shigure stretched and sighed)

Shigure- That was amazing. ^_^

(Akito reached for his shirt, muttering something under his breath)

Shigure- You're feisty in bed when you have murder on your mind. ^_^

Akito- Shut up. You seduced me.

Shigure- Not really. If I can remember, you were trying to cut off my-

Akito- (Growling) I can recall.

Shigure- Well aren't you glad you didn't? ^_^

Akito- ...

Shigure- (Shrieking) What the hell?

Akito- Oh shut up. I'm just trying to listen.

(Shigure quieted down for a few seconds, as he buttoned up his shirt)

Shigure- Listen for what?

Akito- Ssssh!

Shigure- (Flinching) Jeez...

(After a moment there was a faint sound in the distance)

?- (Far Away) Akito? Shigure?

(Akito went into a spazz attack)

Akito- (Scream/Whisper) IT'S BOBBY!

(They both finished dressing just as Bobby turned the corner with a loaded platter of food)

Bobby- Hey, Akito! ^_^ Shigure...

Shigure- Hey! ^_^

Bobby- I brought some food for everyone. It's fish and some nuts I saw a bird eating. So everything is safe to eat! ^_^

Akito- I LOVE YOU BOBBY! ^_^

(Akito attacks food)

Shigure- My appetite has been...filled.

(Akito eyed him cautiously. He wouldn't)

Bobby- Fine. Don't eat. More for Akito and I. ^_^

Shigure- No, I never said I didn't want any food.

Bobby- But-

Akito- (Nervous) Uh, everyone? Shut up, yes? LET'S EAT! ^_^

(They began to eat in silence)

Shigure- So Bobby...

Bobby- Hmm?

Shigure- How are your nuts?

(Akito spit out his food)

Bobby- Akito, are you okay?

Akito- (CHOKE) (GASP) (WHEEZE)

Shigure- Yes my Tootsie Pop, are you okay? ^_^

(Akito gets a hold of himself)

Akito- (GASP) Just...peachy.

Bobby- (Back to Shigure) Mine are fine, why?

Shigure- I don't know, mine seem a little...hard...

Akito Thinking- *HE ISN'T...*

(Shigure winks at Akito)

Bobby- They're nuts Shigure. They are going to be hard.

Bobby Thinking- *God what a dipshit...*

(Shigure popped one in his mouth)

Shigure- I don't know. Maybe I should suck on them.

Bobby- You do that.

Akito- Ehh...

(Silence)

Shigure- Do you like nuts Bobby?

Bobby- I love them! ^_^

Akito- (Cough)

Shigure- Do you now? ^_^

Bobby- Yeah, I eat nuts all the time! ^_^

Shigure- Hahahaha... ^_^

Bobby- What?

Akito- ...

Shigure- Oh nothing. Akito likes nuts too, don't you Skittle-Bar? ^_^

Akito- NO, Twizzler Face. Nuts are not part of my regular diet. ^_^

Shigure- I beg to differ.

Akito- YOU BEG TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Bobby- Hey guys? I don't get the joke.

Akito- There is no joke!

Bobby- Jeez, I-

Shigure- You're right, Akito. It is very serious-nut loving-business that we are talking about.

Akito- I DON'T LOVE NUTS!

Bobby- Is there a problem with my nuts?

Akito- You're what?

Shigure- Indeed there are. ^_^

Bobby- What? Do they taste weird?

Akito- The nuts taste fine!

Shigure- Ha. I know.

Akito- AAAAH!

Bobby- Let me taste your nuts Shigure.

Shigure- HAHAHAHA. No.

Bobby- Why not? You keep complaining about them.

Shigure- My nuts are perfect.

Akito- You're sick!

Bobby- I don't understand!

Shigure- You wouldn't. ^_^

Akito- WILL EVERYBODY JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND FINISH EATING THEIR DAMN NUTS?

(Silence)

Shigure- (Whispering) You can eat my nuts...

Akito- What the FUCK did you just say AssWipe?

Shigure- NOTHING. God.

Akito- I swear...

Bobby- Guys!

Shigure- (Whispering) You swear to eat my nuts...

(Akito launches himself at Shigure)

Akito- RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Shigure- AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Bobby- All this for some nuts?

000

(Hatori stood up, Ren's limp body in his hands)

(He hadn't meant to swing at her, but she was coming towards him with that predatory gleam in her eyes...)

Hatori- (Sigh) What am I going to do with you?

(He contemplated throwing her into the ocean and watching her float away. He knew Akito would be pleased, but he just wasn't that kind of person)

(He looked at her)

(Even though she had practically tried to rape him)

(He sighed once again)

Hatori- I guess I better try to find the others...

(Hatori set off)

000

(Kyo and Yuki were arguing again)

Yuki- I want to find Honda-san!

Kyo- And you think that I don't?

Yuki- Well then, why are you holding up the group?

(Speaking of group, Kagura was huddled underneath a makeshift roof hugging her knees as she went through another one of her bipolar moods. Yuki and Kyo's fighting was just making her sad now)

Kyo- I am NOT holding up the group. I have simply stated that we must find out what is at the end of the rope before we leave this area!

Yuki- That is pointless!

Kyo- YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!

Yuki- YES I DO!

(Sighing, Kagura marched up to where the clashing waves met with the sand and began to dig for the submerged rope)

Yuki- I'm leaving.

Kyo- Why should we split up? That's so stupid!

Yuki- Splitting away from you will be a blessing. Have fun with Kagura.

Kyo- YOU'RE SO IMMATURE!

(Yuki whipped his head back around)

Yuki- ME? You must be joking.

Kyo- ImmatureImmatureImmature!

Yuki- YOU'RE RIDICULOUS!

Kagura- OOH! Lookie, Lookie, Lookie, Kyo! I found a treasure map! ^_^

Kyo- Huh?

(Yuki ran over to where Kagura had dug up a small box attached to the rope that contained a number of papers)

Yuki- Hmm... Island maps?

Kyo- KIYAAAAA! I TOLD YOU SOOOOOOOOO!

(Kyo dashed over to Kagura and snatched the maps from her hands)

Kyo- It says, "Follow the waves until you reach a stone that looks like-" GAH!

(Kagura smacked him and grabbed the maps back)

Kagura- "Until you reach a stone that looks like a face." Hmm, how fun! ^_^ What if we find money or jewels? Oooh goodie, let's do what it tells us too!

(Kagura pumped her fist into the air three times)

Kagura- Let's go! ^_^

Yuki- (Sigh) Lead the way, Kagura-san.

Kyo- Owwwwww...

000

(The three girls exited the boat and stepped onto the white sand of the beach)

Motoko- Well girls, we've arrived. ^_^

#1- Oh my gosh, I am SO excited!

#2- I know RIGHT! ^_^

Motoko- And now, we shall capture the Prince. ^_^

#1- C-Capture?

#2- Doesn't that break about...

(#2 put a hand to her chin, thinking)

#2- ...seventy rules?

Motoko- I-I mean, CAPTURE the WITCH TOHRU, w-which will be holding our dearest Prince as a captive. Yes, he is in grave danger.

(Motoko nodded emphatically)

#1 and #2- YES! WE SHALL TAKE DOWN THE WITCH! ^_^

Motoko- Indeed.

(Motoko sighed and opened up a folded piece of parchment)

Motoko- Well girls, the first clue to our island adventure should be right in this spot.

#2- What's the clue?

Motoko- It says that there should be some kind of rope protruding from the sand...do you see one?

(#1 looked around)

#1- No, why?

Motoko- Because that is the first clue. We are to dig up the second portion of the map.

#2- Why couldn't the captain just be our tour guide and just like, lead us to where we need to go?

(#1 scoffed)

#1- BECAUSE, then it wouldn't be an island ADVENTURE, dummy.

Motoko- Right you are, #1. Now I command you both: BEGIN TO SEARCH.

#1 and #2- YES MA'AM! ^_^

000

Yuki- (Shocked beyond belief) Oh my god.

Kyo- Hmm? What?

Yuki- (Disgusted) Oh my god!

Kyo- What? WHAT?

Yuki- OH MY GOD!

(Yuki pushed everyone into a bush besides them, peering out cautiously)

Kagura- What is it Yuki?

Yuki- I-I think I see Hatsuharu up ahead!

Kyo- Really?

Yuki- Yeah! But there's some people with him that I don't recognize...

Kyo- So?

Yuki- SO? So do you want us to get killed by island savages?

Kyo- Island- What?

Kagura- Heeheehee, natives! ^_^

Yuki- (Squinting) It looks like they're dancing around him...in some ritual or something...

Kyo- Let ME see!

(Yuki blocked Kyo's path)

Yuki- Stay back you dipshit! What if they see us?

Kyo- So what if they do? What are they gonna do beat me with a coconut?

Kagura- Hahahahaha! ^_^

Kyo- (To Kagura) That was pretty funny, huh?

Yuki- You're both being ridiculous! Now, shut up and let me think...

Kyo- (Whispering to Kagura) Guess I didn't have to worry about that coconut, he's already got a stick up his ass...

Yuki- What?

Kyo- Nothing. ^_^

Kagura- Hehehehehehe...

Yuki- Grrrr...

Kyo- Haha. ^_^

Yuki- Oh my god, they're STRIPPING!

Kyo- What? Gross!

Kagura- Huh?

Yuki- Oh my lord, that is sick. It's some sort of naked ritual! They're going for Haru's clothes now!

Kyo- We should help the guy. I mean, he is an asshole, but nobody deserves to be stripped by crazy natives...

(Kagura tried to push around Yuki and Kyo)

Kagura- I wanna..._**see**_!

Yuki- So what do we do?

Kyo- You tell me, you're the one who always has a plan!

Kagura- I can't see the naked natives you guys!

Yuki- Well, you cannot expect me to always bail you out of trouble!

Kyo- ME? We're all in trouble here, dumbass rat!

Yuki- Don't call me a-

(Kagura leapt from their hiding spot)

Kagura- OH MY GOSH! THEY'RE SO _BUILT_!

(Yuki and Kyo froze)

Yuki- (Grit teeth) Kagura...get...down...

Kagura- (Waving) HELLO NAKED NATIVE ISLANDERS! ^_^

(Yuki and Kyo jumped up, trying to grab Kagura. When they stood, they realized that the two strange (and half naked) men were already on their way towards them, holding Haru by each arm. Yuki quickly noticed that Haru was tied up)

Yuki- Great. Now look at what you've done, Kagura.

Kagura- Hahahahha. ^_^

Kyo- What a ditz...

Kagura- (Looking to Kyo) Hmmm? ^_^

Kyo- What? I didn't say anything.

Kagura- (Turing away) M'kay. ^_^

Kyo- (Whispering) Retard...

(The two men approached finally)

Yuki- Let Haru go.

(Haru smiled lazily)

Haru- I told you he'd be jealous. This is my one true love, Yuki.

(Haru pointed to Yuki and the two men waved)

Kyo- (Snicker)

Kagura- (Whispering to the men) Hey there...

Yuki- Haru, what is this? Are these men holding you hostage?

Butler#1- _Haru_?

Haru- (Ignoring the Butler) Yes. It's their job.

(Yuki was taken aback. The men looked like half clothed butlers)

Butler#1- Would you like to join, sir?

Yuki- Join what?

Kyo- He would, yes. ^_^

(Yuki spun on Kyo who was laughing quietly)

Haru- Yes, Yuki. Come strip for me. ^_^

Yuki- What in the world-

Kagura- I'll strip! ^_^

Yuki and Kyo and Haru- NO.

Kagura- Oh...fine...jeez...

Yuki- (Back to Haru) What is this?

Haru- My strippers.

Butler#2- Motoko would love for you to join-

Yuki- (Cowering) MOTOKO? W-Where is she?

Butler#2- _S-She_?

Haru- ...

Kyo- Really, Haru?

(Silence)

Haru- (To the Butlers) Hey guys, we have something to talk about. ^_^

**000**

**A/N: And the continuation will be placed up shortly! Please review this chapter! :)**

**Thank you everyone! I love you all!**

_**Love Always,**_

_**~Charlie-Senpai~**_


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